Broken Hearts, Torn up letters, and the Story of a Lonely Girl., chapter 1
[i]This wasn't for you.
This wasn't FOR anyone.
It's simply a remake of a classic.
We held hands, we shared laughs, we shared beds.
She told her that we were lovers.
Were we?
But this wasn't for you really.
What's the cat to do when the mouse is begging? [i]
Another family gathering. I sighed, playing with the food on my plate. I waited for my mom to start yelling at me. I'm always the misfit of the family. Ryan and Tyler never get yelled at. Maybe it's because they aren't a punk and they don't have piercing in their face. I didn't want to come today. I knew it would get me more depressed than I already am. Let me introduce myself; I'm Amanda. I'm 23 and I'm a punk. My mother and father hate the way I am. Sometimes I think my father just hates me. Period. I'm a hyper girl when I'm around my friends and outgoing around new people. But I'm basically always depressed. I hate my family. I drove here an hour from Oakland just to actually see these people again. I still messed around with my food. I was never hungry when I came here.
"What are you, anorexic now?" My dad said. I stopped, looked up at him and gave him a death stare.
"Charles!" My mom said.
"What? She never eats when she comes here. What's wrong with you?" He asked.
"You." I mumbled, looking back down at this disgusting food, and poking at it with my fork.
"What was that?" My dad snapped back.
"You." I said, looking at him.
"Don't even start. Don't take this out on me because you're depressed about your god damn friends." He said. My anger ignited like fire. I was done with this shit.
"I'm not depressed about them! IT'S YOU GUYS! THIS WHOLE FAMILY! You guys hate me and I fucking hate it! Why can't you treat me like a normal kid and actually love me?!?!" I shouted, tears streaming form my eyes. I was now standing.
"Watch your mouth." Was all my mother could say.
"Well, if you don't fucking like it, leave." My dad said standing, and looking me in the eyes with his crooked grin on.
"Fine." I said.
"Fine." He said.
"Don't call me. Either of you." I said. I walked down the hall, stopped, came back to the table, and threw my plate across the room. My mom gasped. Dad got up and I ran out the door as fast as I could and got in my car.
I could barely make it to the highway so I stopped at the old park I used to go to when I was little. I sat on my favorite swing, put my elbows on my knees, put my face in my hands, and cried like the little baby I am. Alright, I'll explain myself now. I have jet black hair that's a little past my ears. It's choppy, parted to the left, and it covers my left eye. Most of the time I push it out of my face and put a Hello Kitty barrette in it. Yea, I know. Dumb, right? Anyway, I have green eyes that change colors. One time my one eye was ice blue and the other one was green. It happens a lot. I have both ears pierced seven times, my belly button pierced, snake bites (two on the lips if you didn't know), my tongue, and my eyebrow pierced. Yeah, it's a lot but I like it because I find myself ugly. Everyone says I'm pretty and skinny. I don't think so. I'm extremely self-conscious about myself. And I'm stupid enough to believe anything. Like if a 9 year old calls me fat, I'll believe her. That's just how I am. How retarded I am. Besides that, I live in a three bedroom apartment by myself. I recently put up a room for rent. I work at a music store and I can play drums and bass. I can even play harmonica. Today was the wrong day to wear what I was wearing and I knew it. I was wearing my black Ramones shirt, tight black jeans, studded belt, skull necklace I wear all the time, skull earrings, and my pink penguin slip-on Vans.
I lifted up my head and there was a squirrel there. Stupid me started talking to it.
"Hey little squirrel. Are you a lonely, stupid bitch too?" The squirrel tilted its head to the side. "Yea, it sucks, don't it? I hate it too. Eh, I guess you don't. You're just a squirrel. Collecting your little acorns and sleeping for the winter. Getting eaten by bigger animals. You guys have the easy life." I said and the squirrel ran away. I sighed and I heard someone laugh from behind me. I wiped my eyes.
"Are you okay?" He asked. He sounded familiar but I was too afraid to turn around.
"Umm yea." I said.
"You sure." I know that voice!
"Yea. I'm good." I said, sniffling.
"Need some company?" He asked.
"I don't know you." I said.
"Turn around." He said. I turned my swing around to see Billie Joe standing there, smirking. I almost died.
"Oh shit. Umm sorry." I said. He sat down on the swing next to me and I turned back around.
"It's fine." He said. I pushed my hair out of my face.
"Oh, I'm Amanda." I said, and he shook my hand.
"Well, you already know me, I'm guessing. What's wrong?" He asked.
"Parents and family shit. Sorry, I must look like crap." I said. We both laughed and I wiped my eyes again.
"No, you look fine." He said.
We talked for a while and he helped me get through everything.
"Ughh, I barely know you and it feels like we've been friends forever." I said. He laughed. I smiled.
"Well, I come here to think a lot and I found this beautiful crying girl. It's the least I could do." He said, smiling. I blushed.
"Thanks." I smiled back.
"Hey.... Ummm..... Did you wanna come back to my house for a bit?" He asked, rubbing the back of his neck and looking at the ground.
"Oh wow. I don't know." I said.
"My wife and kids are on their own vacation for the month. Adi doesn't mind if I have people over." He said, looking at me again.
"Ummm. Sure, I guess. If you really don't mind having me over. I'm kind of annoying." I said.
"No, it's fine. Plus, I have to deal with Tre almost every day of my life. You're not annoying at all." He said. I laughed. He smiled.
"Okay. I'll follow you then." I said.
"Kay." He said.
I got to my car and started following Billie back to his house.
"OH MY GOD!" I shouted, excitedly and tried not to spaz out at the wheel. I was going to Billie Joe fucking Armstrong's house! I calmed myself down and kept driving. I couldn't stop smiling.
This wasn't FOR anyone.
It's simply a remake of a classic.
We held hands, we shared laughs, we shared beds.
She told her that we were lovers.
Were we?
But this wasn't for you really.
What's the cat to do when the mouse is begging? [i]
Another family gathering. I sighed, playing with the food on my plate. I waited for my mom to start yelling at me. I'm always the misfit of the family. Ryan and Tyler never get yelled at. Maybe it's because they aren't a punk and they don't have piercing in their face. I didn't want to come today. I knew it would get me more depressed than I already am. Let me introduce myself; I'm Amanda. I'm 23 and I'm a punk. My mother and father hate the way I am. Sometimes I think my father just hates me. Period. I'm a hyper girl when I'm around my friends and outgoing around new people. But I'm basically always depressed. I hate my family. I drove here an hour from Oakland just to actually see these people again. I still messed around with my food. I was never hungry when I came here.
"What are you, anorexic now?" My dad said. I stopped, looked up at him and gave him a death stare.
"Charles!" My mom said.
"What? She never eats when she comes here. What's wrong with you?" He asked.
"You." I mumbled, looking back down at this disgusting food, and poking at it with my fork.
"What was that?" My dad snapped back.
"You." I said, looking at him.
"Don't even start. Don't take this out on me because you're depressed about your god damn friends." He said. My anger ignited like fire. I was done with this shit.
"I'm not depressed about them! IT'S YOU GUYS! THIS WHOLE FAMILY! You guys hate me and I fucking hate it! Why can't you treat me like a normal kid and actually love me?!?!" I shouted, tears streaming form my eyes. I was now standing.
"Watch your mouth." Was all my mother could say.
"Well, if you don't fucking like it, leave." My dad said standing, and looking me in the eyes with his crooked grin on.
"Fine." I said.
"Fine." He said.
"Don't call me. Either of you." I said. I walked down the hall, stopped, came back to the table, and threw my plate across the room. My mom gasped. Dad got up and I ran out the door as fast as I could and got in my car.
I could barely make it to the highway so I stopped at the old park I used to go to when I was little. I sat on my favorite swing, put my elbows on my knees, put my face in my hands, and cried like the little baby I am. Alright, I'll explain myself now. I have jet black hair that's a little past my ears. It's choppy, parted to the left, and it covers my left eye. Most of the time I push it out of my face and put a Hello Kitty barrette in it. Yea, I know. Dumb, right? Anyway, I have green eyes that change colors. One time my one eye was ice blue and the other one was green. It happens a lot. I have both ears pierced seven times, my belly button pierced, snake bites (two on the lips if you didn't know), my tongue, and my eyebrow pierced. Yeah, it's a lot but I like it because I find myself ugly. Everyone says I'm pretty and skinny. I don't think so. I'm extremely self-conscious about myself. And I'm stupid enough to believe anything. Like if a 9 year old calls me fat, I'll believe her. That's just how I am. How retarded I am. Besides that, I live in a three bedroom apartment by myself. I recently put up a room for rent. I work at a music store and I can play drums and bass. I can even play harmonica. Today was the wrong day to wear what I was wearing and I knew it. I was wearing my black Ramones shirt, tight black jeans, studded belt, skull necklace I wear all the time, skull earrings, and my pink penguin slip-on Vans.
I lifted up my head and there was a squirrel there. Stupid me started talking to it.
"Hey little squirrel. Are you a lonely, stupid bitch too?" The squirrel tilted its head to the side. "Yea, it sucks, don't it? I hate it too. Eh, I guess you don't. You're just a squirrel. Collecting your little acorns and sleeping for the winter. Getting eaten by bigger animals. You guys have the easy life." I said and the squirrel ran away. I sighed and I heard someone laugh from behind me. I wiped my eyes.
"Are you okay?" He asked. He sounded familiar but I was too afraid to turn around.
"Umm yea." I said.
"You sure." I know that voice!
"Yea. I'm good." I said, sniffling.
"Need some company?" He asked.
"I don't know you." I said.
"Turn around." He said. I turned my swing around to see Billie Joe standing there, smirking. I almost died.
"Oh shit. Umm sorry." I said. He sat down on the swing next to me and I turned back around.
"It's fine." He said. I pushed my hair out of my face.
"Oh, I'm Amanda." I said, and he shook my hand.
"Well, you already know me, I'm guessing. What's wrong?" He asked.
"Parents and family shit. Sorry, I must look like crap." I said. We both laughed and I wiped my eyes again.
"No, you look fine." He said.
We talked for a while and he helped me get through everything.
"Ughh, I barely know you and it feels like we've been friends forever." I said. He laughed. I smiled.
"Well, I come here to think a lot and I found this beautiful crying girl. It's the least I could do." He said, smiling. I blushed.
"Thanks." I smiled back.
"Hey.... Ummm..... Did you wanna come back to my house for a bit?" He asked, rubbing the back of his neck and looking at the ground.
"Oh wow. I don't know." I said.
"My wife and kids are on their own vacation for the month. Adi doesn't mind if I have people over." He said, looking at me again.
"Ummm. Sure, I guess. If you really don't mind having me over. I'm kind of annoying." I said.
"No, it's fine. Plus, I have to deal with Tre almost every day of my life. You're not annoying at all." He said. I laughed. He smiled.
"Okay. I'll follow you then." I said.
"Kay." He said.
I got to my car and started following Billie back to his house.
"OH MY GOD!" I shouted, excitedly and tried not to spaz out at the wheel. I was going to Billie Joe fucking Armstrong's house! I calmed myself down and kept driving. I couldn't stop smiling.
Page 1/5 | Next
