Another Fivtive Romance, chapter 1
The cold wind blew from the sea into the shore where I stood watching out over the English Channel. It was all in my hair before I had the time to blink and I trembled slightly from the cold breeze coming from my homeland out east. My eyes were all teared up because I was so sad and happy for different things that had brought me to this point in my life. My love for music had a big impact for me being here but a lot of sad things had happened back in Sweden before me even travelling here.
It was summer but the weather wasn't showing it here. I had arrived by plane three hours ago. My friends Lilly and Vicky were near where I stood on a parking lot in a rented car. I had told them to wait for me because I really needed to feel the air, knowing it was the same as back in Hultsfred, Sweden where I lived.
***
It all started back in 2003 when Vicky and I first met on the internet and decided to go to a Jane's Addiction concert in Stockholm. We got to meet Nick Prize from the NY band Star Spangles. Vicky and I have after that met a second time in Gothenburg, this time also because of a concert. It was back one year in 2005 when we both saw Green Day. I was up front and the singer, Billie Joe actually smiled at me when he was making a joke and he also touched my hand at one occasion. I was in heaven of course!
I have always had a habit of falling in, what I then thought was, true love with bands and front men especially. First of all Anthony Kiedis of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, who I actually have seen live, and then came Perry Farrell of Jane's Addiction and after that Billie Joe Armstrong in Green Day. It was at a Green Day forum I first came across the band name My Chemical Romance, realizing that I had already seen there first video, I'm Not Ok (I Promise) on a Swedish music channel called ZTV. Back then I was thinking that the band had way too hard music for me with the singer's screaming but later I actually came to enjoy it really well, maybe it was because of the beautiful Helena video or maybe because of the singer's good looks and charisma.
I had always tried to find copies/clones of these front men in real life and have succeeded every time and these clones are the ones I usually fall in love with. But I have a really hard time in showing my emotions towards them, except when I'm really drunk; this led to the by far biggest mistake of my life, so far anyway.
I haven't so far told anything about my physical looks, me Becky Thorne. A lot of people tells me that I look like one of my two older sisters, Jenny. This doesn't make any sense to me because she is one of the most beautiful women in the world according to me. She is tall, has blue eyes, a perfect smile, beautiful body and of course a beautiful boyfriend. Me on the other hand is about 1. 68, blue eyes, red hair (coloured more obvious red with black stripes, not that red-red colour). I think my breasts are to small and my hips 10 cm too thick.
My mom thinks I'm too hard on myself but I don't see myself as beautiful and my self-esteem is zero. That is why I only have had one real boyfriend in my life and am still a virgin at 21. I tried to have sex with him but it just didn't work out. I was 16 back then and had just received my first real kiss. You understand now why I get nervous with gorgeous guys, I feel insecure.
One place where I never have to feel this is when I listen to music. I guess people who don't know me very well think I have a lot of experience. When I turned 18 I started wearing black make up and Punk-Goth clothes, they look very mature on me says my sisters. My style in clothing and my big interest in music is what make me different from my sisters.
When I first applied for the Music Management education in Hultsfred it was mostly because of me not being able to get into anything else interesting. My grades weren't the best but I got in anyways. But already the first day there I realized I had found my soul mates in my new class mates, being as obsessive with music as I was. I first started to talk to Cathy and Mel, both with black hair and black clothes. It immediately clicked, especially with Cathy who grew to be my party mate and we were closer to each other than it looked like from the outside world.
I met my later room mate through Mel, Helena, and also Lilly who offered me to go to a My Chemical Romance show that fall, but I just couldn't. I wasn't as deeply involved with them as I became later. I wasn't ready to trust a girl I'd never met to go to a country I had never been to. I got a new chance in the spring of 2006 when my internet buddy Ewan asked me to go. He was into the exact same music as me but I still couldn't go. I was a bit depressed then and it was all because of a special guy...
It was summer but the weather wasn't showing it here. I had arrived by plane three hours ago. My friends Lilly and Vicky were near where I stood on a parking lot in a rented car. I had told them to wait for me because I really needed to feel the air, knowing it was the same as back in Hultsfred, Sweden where I lived.
***
It all started back in 2003 when Vicky and I first met on the internet and decided to go to a Jane's Addiction concert in Stockholm. We got to meet Nick Prize from the NY band Star Spangles. Vicky and I have after that met a second time in Gothenburg, this time also because of a concert. It was back one year in 2005 when we both saw Green Day. I was up front and the singer, Billie Joe actually smiled at me when he was making a joke and he also touched my hand at one occasion. I was in heaven of course!
I have always had a habit of falling in, what I then thought was, true love with bands and front men especially. First of all Anthony Kiedis of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, who I actually have seen live, and then came Perry Farrell of Jane's Addiction and after that Billie Joe Armstrong in Green Day. It was at a Green Day forum I first came across the band name My Chemical Romance, realizing that I had already seen there first video, I'm Not Ok (I Promise) on a Swedish music channel called ZTV. Back then I was thinking that the band had way too hard music for me with the singer's screaming but later I actually came to enjoy it really well, maybe it was because of the beautiful Helena video or maybe because of the singer's good looks and charisma.
I had always tried to find copies/clones of these front men in real life and have succeeded every time and these clones are the ones I usually fall in love with. But I have a really hard time in showing my emotions towards them, except when I'm really drunk; this led to the by far biggest mistake of my life, so far anyway.
I haven't so far told anything about my physical looks, me Becky Thorne. A lot of people tells me that I look like one of my two older sisters, Jenny. This doesn't make any sense to me because she is one of the most beautiful women in the world according to me. She is tall, has blue eyes, a perfect smile, beautiful body and of course a beautiful boyfriend. Me on the other hand is about 1. 68, blue eyes, red hair (coloured more obvious red with black stripes, not that red-red colour). I think my breasts are to small and my hips 10 cm too thick.
My mom thinks I'm too hard on myself but I don't see myself as beautiful and my self-esteem is zero. That is why I only have had one real boyfriend in my life and am still a virgin at 21. I tried to have sex with him but it just didn't work out. I was 16 back then and had just received my first real kiss. You understand now why I get nervous with gorgeous guys, I feel insecure.
One place where I never have to feel this is when I listen to music. I guess people who don't know me very well think I have a lot of experience. When I turned 18 I started wearing black make up and Punk-Goth clothes, they look very mature on me says my sisters. My style in clothing and my big interest in music is what make me different from my sisters.
When I first applied for the Music Management education in Hultsfred it was mostly because of me not being able to get into anything else interesting. My grades weren't the best but I got in anyways. But already the first day there I realized I had found my soul mates in my new class mates, being as obsessive with music as I was. I first started to talk to Cathy and Mel, both with black hair and black clothes. It immediately clicked, especially with Cathy who grew to be my party mate and we were closer to each other than it looked like from the outside world.
I met my later room mate through Mel, Helena, and also Lilly who offered me to go to a My Chemical Romance show that fall, but I just couldn't. I wasn't as deeply involved with them as I became later. I wasn't ready to trust a girl I'd never met to go to a country I had never been to. I got a new chance in the spring of 2006 when my internet buddy Ewan asked me to go. He was into the exact same music as me but I still couldn't go. I was a bit depressed then and it was all because of a special guy...
Page 1/8 | Next
