Bleeding Hearts, chapter 16
"ROSE! I'M GOING TO SEE ZACK NOW! I'LL SEE YA IN A FEW HOURS!" my mum shouted from the door of the motel room.
I rolled my eyes. "I'm going to see Zack now," I mimicked and as I turned the corner I put the cheesiest grin possible on. I stuck my hands out strait at my back and kissed each of her cheeks with an over the top 'Mwah'. "Now I want you back by midnight. Here is your whip and here are you fluffy pink handcuffs. Have you got the whipped cream?"
She gave me and evil look and tutted. "Why are you so unsupportive of me?"
"Because you're a slut," I said in a very matter of fact voice.
She stepped out of the door and as she walked down the corridor she called, "I love you to darling." back at me.
"Oh well." I slammed the door and turned around to see Tre staring back at me from the sofa. He made me jump slightly then I went to sit next to him.
I lent down to the table and sniffed up some of the white powder on the table. It made me feel much better about my self. I knew that basically every one else in my family self harmed and I refused to go down that path but drugs didn't really bother me. In my opinion cocaine, cannabis and all those illegal drugs were no worse than tobacco or alcohol. I could feel Tre looking at me. "What?" I asked.
"Do you like your life?" he asked.
I looked at him with a bored look on my face. "I hate my life. It is worthless and pointless."
He looked at me even harder. He stared right into my eyes as if he was trying to find something. "Would you ever kill yourself?"
I shook my head. "No. I am too curious to find out what is going to happen. Why do you ask?"
"Well Jan did and you're related to her. Your mum self harms. I saw the scars and I know from experience that Greta did. So you might take it from them."
"I don't self harm. It is stupid. I hate it when I find my mum blacked out from cutting to much."
He smiled. "So you do love her really. Otherwise you wouldn't mind."
I shrugged. "Of course I love her. She is my mum. If she weren't here I would have no one. She just annoys me so much."
He put his arm on my shoulder. I looked at his eyes. He was quite good looking... who am I kidding? He was fucking gorgeous but I was 14 he was 33 or something like that. It would never bother my mum. She had slept with 15 years olds and she was 34. It kind of disgusted me. She had stolen my old boyfriend. I felt my sluttish genes coming out in me. Normal I would just act like a normal girl but because I had lived with my mum all my life I had always had her as a roll model and when I took drugs I could rarely control myself.
"She may annoy you but she is still your mum."
I leaned in and kissed him gently on the lips. We kissed for about three seconds then I pulled away. "Sorry," I whispered.
He didn't seem to mind. "I don't mind. Number one. You are your mother's daughter. Of course you are going to do that sort of thing and number two. All of the women in you family seem to like me."
I smiled. "Well I am still sorry."
"It doesn't matter," he said quietly and cupped my face in his hand. He closed his eyes and kissed me softly. "You know that I have been taking drugs to so I'm not thinking straight and this is probably a really bad idea," he said as he broke away for a moment.
I shrugged. "Oh well. It'll be good while it lasts."
He nodded. "True." I leaned my head back and let him climb on top of me.
***
I sat in the back of the police car listening to the man ramble on about how bad my situation is and all that crap. Eventually we pulled up out side Billie Joe's house and he went and knocked on the door. I was still in the car. I saw Adrienne come to the door and open it. The policeman said something to her and She called Billie Joe. He appeared and the man explained everything to him. Billie Joe gave Adrienne a kiss and walked to the car with out a fuss.
***
It was eleven o'clock and I had just had the time of my life with Rose. She was amazing in bed. Apparently it was her first time but I'm not sure I believe her. Her face was so perfect. The way she talked was amazing. In fact everything about her was just right. She was so similar to Greta. Maybe that was why I did all this. Because I could imagine it was Greta and I wanted her back so much. Rose rolled over and looked at me. "That was amazing." she admitted.
"You were perfect."
"You were better."
"If that really was your first time then I am very, very impressed."
She smiled and kissed me. "You're so kind."
She sat in my arms for a few minuets when suddenly she sat up and started pacing around the room.
"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck," she whispered. "Did you have protection?"
I shook my head. Her eyes widened as she fell to the floor and started pulling at her hair in frustration. "Damn it damn it Damn it," she said angrily.
"You probably aren't pregnant."
She gave me an evil stare. "What is there to prevent it? Did you have an erection?"
I nodded my head. "Well yeah... of course I did."
She threw her arms up in the air. "There you go then. Your sperm left you and went into me. Nothing to stop anything from happening. And then... you're a daddy again and I'm a mum at 14. Oh joy of joys."
I put my arms around her. "Abortion?" I asked.
She pushed away and hit me in the chest. "No! I'm not gunna kill it."
"Well it is either that of you have it. Besides. It doesn't always make you pregnant. We'll take you to the doctors in a few days and take some tests ok?"
She nodded and fell back into my arms. "That's right. And if you are I promise to be more help than I was with Jan. I'm so sorry about all this shit. I knew it was a bad idea from the start."
She tightened her hug and let tears roll down her face. "I hate my life," she whispered.
"I hate my life to but I try to look on the bright side of it."
She smiled weakly. "Sometimes that feels impossible."
I rolled my eyes. "I'm going to see Zack now," I mimicked and as I turned the corner I put the cheesiest grin possible on. I stuck my hands out strait at my back and kissed each of her cheeks with an over the top 'Mwah'. "Now I want you back by midnight. Here is your whip and here are you fluffy pink handcuffs. Have you got the whipped cream?"
She gave me and evil look and tutted. "Why are you so unsupportive of me?"
"Because you're a slut," I said in a very matter of fact voice.
She stepped out of the door and as she walked down the corridor she called, "I love you to darling." back at me.
"Oh well." I slammed the door and turned around to see Tre staring back at me from the sofa. He made me jump slightly then I went to sit next to him.
I lent down to the table and sniffed up some of the white powder on the table. It made me feel much better about my self. I knew that basically every one else in my family self harmed and I refused to go down that path but drugs didn't really bother me. In my opinion cocaine, cannabis and all those illegal drugs were no worse than tobacco or alcohol. I could feel Tre looking at me. "What?" I asked.
"Do you like your life?" he asked.
I looked at him with a bored look on my face. "I hate my life. It is worthless and pointless."
He looked at me even harder. He stared right into my eyes as if he was trying to find something. "Would you ever kill yourself?"
I shook my head. "No. I am too curious to find out what is going to happen. Why do you ask?"
"Well Jan did and you're related to her. Your mum self harms. I saw the scars and I know from experience that Greta did. So you might take it from them."
"I don't self harm. It is stupid. I hate it when I find my mum blacked out from cutting to much."
He smiled. "So you do love her really. Otherwise you wouldn't mind."
I shrugged. "Of course I love her. She is my mum. If she weren't here I would have no one. She just annoys me so much."
He put his arm on my shoulder. I looked at his eyes. He was quite good looking... who am I kidding? He was fucking gorgeous but I was 14 he was 33 or something like that. It would never bother my mum. She had slept with 15 years olds and she was 34. It kind of disgusted me. She had stolen my old boyfriend. I felt my sluttish genes coming out in me. Normal I would just act like a normal girl but because I had lived with my mum all my life I had always had her as a roll model and when I took drugs I could rarely control myself.
"She may annoy you but she is still your mum."
I leaned in and kissed him gently on the lips. We kissed for about three seconds then I pulled away. "Sorry," I whispered.
He didn't seem to mind. "I don't mind. Number one. You are your mother's daughter. Of course you are going to do that sort of thing and number two. All of the women in you family seem to like me."
I smiled. "Well I am still sorry."
"It doesn't matter," he said quietly and cupped my face in his hand. He closed his eyes and kissed me softly. "You know that I have been taking drugs to so I'm not thinking straight and this is probably a really bad idea," he said as he broke away for a moment.
I shrugged. "Oh well. It'll be good while it lasts."
He nodded. "True." I leaned my head back and let him climb on top of me.
***
I sat in the back of the police car listening to the man ramble on about how bad my situation is and all that crap. Eventually we pulled up out side Billie Joe's house and he went and knocked on the door. I was still in the car. I saw Adrienne come to the door and open it. The policeman said something to her and She called Billie Joe. He appeared and the man explained everything to him. Billie Joe gave Adrienne a kiss and walked to the car with out a fuss.
***
It was eleven o'clock and I had just had the time of my life with Rose. She was amazing in bed. Apparently it was her first time but I'm not sure I believe her. Her face was so perfect. The way she talked was amazing. In fact everything about her was just right. She was so similar to Greta. Maybe that was why I did all this. Because I could imagine it was Greta and I wanted her back so much. Rose rolled over and looked at me. "That was amazing." she admitted.
"You were perfect."
"You were better."
"If that really was your first time then I am very, very impressed."
She smiled and kissed me. "You're so kind."
She sat in my arms for a few minuets when suddenly she sat up and started pacing around the room.
"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck," she whispered. "Did you have protection?"
I shook my head. Her eyes widened as she fell to the floor and started pulling at her hair in frustration. "Damn it damn it Damn it," she said angrily.
"You probably aren't pregnant."
She gave me an evil stare. "What is there to prevent it? Did you have an erection?"
I nodded my head. "Well yeah... of course I did."
She threw her arms up in the air. "There you go then. Your sperm left you and went into me. Nothing to stop anything from happening. And then... you're a daddy again and I'm a mum at 14. Oh joy of joys."
I put my arms around her. "Abortion?" I asked.
She pushed away and hit me in the chest. "No! I'm not gunna kill it."
"Well it is either that of you have it. Besides. It doesn't always make you pregnant. We'll take you to the doctors in a few days and take some tests ok?"
She nodded and fell back into my arms. "That's right. And if you are I promise to be more help than I was with Jan. I'm so sorry about all this shit. I knew it was a bad idea from the start."
She tightened her hug and let tears roll down her face. "I hate my life," she whispered.
"I hate my life to but I try to look on the bright side of it."
She smiled weakly. "Sometimes that feels impossible."
