Bleeding Hearts, chapter 4
The man pulled away. He shook his head.
"No."
I looked shocked, "What do you mean 'no'?" I asked.
I saw the guy bite his lip in the shadow of his hat.
"Jan. Your dad really wanted to be here. He has been fussing about it for years. But he is very busy. Sometimes he has to do stuff that he can't get out of. He tried but couldn't. He sent me instead. If you want to meet him then come with me."
I sighed, "Ok. But I have a few questions first. Number 1. Who are you? Number 2. Who is my dad? And number 3. Why couldn't my dad be here?"
I saw a slight smile spread across his lips. I wanted to see the rest of his face apart from his lips but it was all shadowed.
"You're so much like him. He is really inquisitive to. I'm called John but people call me al. I am a friend of you dads and he told me not to tell you anything else. He wants to tell you himself."
I rolled my eyes, "Fine. I'm coming with you."
He smirked slightly and took my hand. He led me out of the café and into a car that was waiting out side.
"Do you have any Green Day to put on?" I asked.
He laughed, "Yes I do. Are you a Green Day fan?"
I nodded, "Yes. What is it to you?"
"Oh that's nice," He snapped but in a friendly way, "It means nothing to me. But it might to you."
I looked confused.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"I really don't know."
For the rest of the journey I just sang along to Green Day. Eventually John's car pulled up out side a house. It was big. It was very big. I walked up to the front door. I was amazed.
"Are we still in Berkeley?" I asked in awe.
If we were then I had never been to this neighbourhood before. It was the rich part.
John nodded. His hoodie was still pulled up over his face and he had his hat pulled even further over his face so I couldn't see him at all now. No even his mouth. It was actually quite creepy to look at him.
"Yeah. We're in Berkeley. Different part of it to where you grew up though."
I bit my lip. The house was quite intimidating.
"Oh." Was all I could squeeze out.
He walked up to the front door and pushed it open. He switched on a light and I almost fainted. It was even bigger on the inside. It was truly amazing. I had never seen a house this big and I was going to live in it.
I shook my self out of the trance. I looked over at John who had taken his hoodie down. He still had his hat on so I couldn't see his eyes but it was better. He had a nice face. I recognised him slightly. I had probably seen him walk down the street some time if we had lived in the same place for all of my life. Not very familiar though. Oh well.
He walked up the stairs and I followed. He walked along the large hallway until we got to a room. I walked inside. It was big. Just like everything else in this house. It had black and red stripy walls with a lush, black, shag carpet. A double bed was sat in the middle of the room with space all around it. One of the walls was lined with mirrors and the opposite one with a wardrobe.
I laughed, "Wow," I gasped, "This is mine?"
John nodded, "Check in the wardrobe."
I walked over to one of the doors. It was full of clothes.
"Oh my fucking god," I whispered.
I looked so black and red in the wardrobe. I opened one of the other doors which had shoes lined up on shelves. I was in total bliss. This was amazing. My dad had bought me all this and I didn't even know him.
I opened each door. Be hind each one it was packed full of clothes or shoes. Then. I came to the last door. I placed my hand on the doorknob. I turned it and as it opened I basically melted.
There was a massive pile of CDs on one side and a guitar hung up on the wall on the other. First I looked through the CDs. It was amazing. It was as if my dad could read my mind. There seemed to be something from every good or iconic band there had ever been. Green Day, Ramones, Nirvana, Sex pistols, Aerosmith, Guns 'n' Roses, Rolling Stones, HIM, Metallica, My Chemical Romance, Queen, Bon Jovi, KoRn, Taking Back Sunday, Afi, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Venom... The list went on and on.
Then I turned my attention to the guitar. It was a fender. It was jet black all over and in white on the front it had three names scribbled on. I looked at them. I could just make them out but I recognised them as soon as I saw them they said 'Billie Joe', 'Tre Cool' and 'Mike Dirnt'.
I screamed. I grabbed the guitar and slung the strap around my neck. The strap was black to. I saw the back of the guitar and written on it said.
'I am watching you. I am always with you and I love you. Have fun in your new life.
xXx Mum xXx'.
My heart melted. She had written this before she died and given it to my dad. Silently I sat down on the bed. My eyes looked down at the black and red covers of the bed. I lay down and started playing 'Longview' to myself. I felt a hand on my knee.
"Are you ok to stay here on your own? I need to be off really," John said.
I smiled at him, "Yeah. That is ok. Will you come around again?"
He nodded, "Yeah. I will come see how you settle in."
I nodded, "Good," I gave him a quick hug and he left.
I plopped back down on the bed. I looked down at my wrist. I hadn't cut in a while and I was starting to crave it. I stood up and rested the guitar on the bed.
"I shall call you... Slash." I said to the guitar.
My other one didn't have a name. My mum never named it so I didn't want to give it one.
I left the room and headed down the corridor. Eventually I found the stairs and went down them. I entered the kitchen and went over to the draws. I searched for a while for the sharpest looking knife. I found a nasty looking little one, which had a very sharp point on the end. I put it near my wrist and cut. I lost balance in my legs as I lost concentration because it went flying into one of my veins. It didn't actually break the vein it just caught it. I winced.
After a few seconds the flow of blood was uncontrollable. I went over to the tap and ran my wrist under it. I watched as my blood went pouring down the sink. I breathed in deeply as I held the knife to my wrist again.
I looked up and a little boy with pale skin was standing in the doorway. He was only around 4 or 5. He looked up at me with big blue eyes. He was so adorable. My heart seemed to skip a beat as I saw him.
"What are you doing?" He asked me.
"No."
I looked shocked, "What do you mean 'no'?" I asked.
I saw the guy bite his lip in the shadow of his hat.
"Jan. Your dad really wanted to be here. He has been fussing about it for years. But he is very busy. Sometimes he has to do stuff that he can't get out of. He tried but couldn't. He sent me instead. If you want to meet him then come with me."
I sighed, "Ok. But I have a few questions first. Number 1. Who are you? Number 2. Who is my dad? And number 3. Why couldn't my dad be here?"
I saw a slight smile spread across his lips. I wanted to see the rest of his face apart from his lips but it was all shadowed.
"You're so much like him. He is really inquisitive to. I'm called John but people call me al. I am a friend of you dads and he told me not to tell you anything else. He wants to tell you himself."
I rolled my eyes, "Fine. I'm coming with you."
He smirked slightly and took my hand. He led me out of the café and into a car that was waiting out side.
"Do you have any Green Day to put on?" I asked.
He laughed, "Yes I do. Are you a Green Day fan?"
I nodded, "Yes. What is it to you?"
"Oh that's nice," He snapped but in a friendly way, "It means nothing to me. But it might to you."
I looked confused.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"I really don't know."
For the rest of the journey I just sang along to Green Day. Eventually John's car pulled up out side a house. It was big. It was very big. I walked up to the front door. I was amazed.
"Are we still in Berkeley?" I asked in awe.
If we were then I had never been to this neighbourhood before. It was the rich part.
John nodded. His hoodie was still pulled up over his face and he had his hat pulled even further over his face so I couldn't see him at all now. No even his mouth. It was actually quite creepy to look at him.
"Yeah. We're in Berkeley. Different part of it to where you grew up though."
I bit my lip. The house was quite intimidating.
"Oh." Was all I could squeeze out.
He walked up to the front door and pushed it open. He switched on a light and I almost fainted. It was even bigger on the inside. It was truly amazing. I had never seen a house this big and I was going to live in it.
I shook my self out of the trance. I looked over at John who had taken his hoodie down. He still had his hat on so I couldn't see his eyes but it was better. He had a nice face. I recognised him slightly. I had probably seen him walk down the street some time if we had lived in the same place for all of my life. Not very familiar though. Oh well.
He walked up the stairs and I followed. He walked along the large hallway until we got to a room. I walked inside. It was big. Just like everything else in this house. It had black and red stripy walls with a lush, black, shag carpet. A double bed was sat in the middle of the room with space all around it. One of the walls was lined with mirrors and the opposite one with a wardrobe.
I laughed, "Wow," I gasped, "This is mine?"
John nodded, "Check in the wardrobe."
I walked over to one of the doors. It was full of clothes.
"Oh my fucking god," I whispered.
I looked so black and red in the wardrobe. I opened one of the other doors which had shoes lined up on shelves. I was in total bliss. This was amazing. My dad had bought me all this and I didn't even know him.
I opened each door. Be hind each one it was packed full of clothes or shoes. Then. I came to the last door. I placed my hand on the doorknob. I turned it and as it opened I basically melted.
There was a massive pile of CDs on one side and a guitar hung up on the wall on the other. First I looked through the CDs. It was amazing. It was as if my dad could read my mind. There seemed to be something from every good or iconic band there had ever been. Green Day, Ramones, Nirvana, Sex pistols, Aerosmith, Guns 'n' Roses, Rolling Stones, HIM, Metallica, My Chemical Romance, Queen, Bon Jovi, KoRn, Taking Back Sunday, Afi, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Venom... The list went on and on.
Then I turned my attention to the guitar. It was a fender. It was jet black all over and in white on the front it had three names scribbled on. I looked at them. I could just make them out but I recognised them as soon as I saw them they said 'Billie Joe', 'Tre Cool' and 'Mike Dirnt'.
I screamed. I grabbed the guitar and slung the strap around my neck. The strap was black to. I saw the back of the guitar and written on it said.
'I am watching you. I am always with you and I love you. Have fun in your new life.
xXx Mum xXx'.
My heart melted. She had written this before she died and given it to my dad. Silently I sat down on the bed. My eyes looked down at the black and red covers of the bed. I lay down and started playing 'Longview' to myself. I felt a hand on my knee.
"Are you ok to stay here on your own? I need to be off really," John said.
I smiled at him, "Yeah. That is ok. Will you come around again?"
He nodded, "Yeah. I will come see how you settle in."
I nodded, "Good," I gave him a quick hug and he left.
I plopped back down on the bed. I looked down at my wrist. I hadn't cut in a while and I was starting to crave it. I stood up and rested the guitar on the bed.
"I shall call you... Slash." I said to the guitar.
My other one didn't have a name. My mum never named it so I didn't want to give it one.
I left the room and headed down the corridor. Eventually I found the stairs and went down them. I entered the kitchen and went over to the draws. I searched for a while for the sharpest looking knife. I found a nasty looking little one, which had a very sharp point on the end. I put it near my wrist and cut. I lost balance in my legs as I lost concentration because it went flying into one of my veins. It didn't actually break the vein it just caught it. I winced.
After a few seconds the flow of blood was uncontrollable. I went over to the tap and ran my wrist under it. I watched as my blood went pouring down the sink. I breathed in deeply as I held the knife to my wrist again.
I looked up and a little boy with pale skin was standing in the doorway. He was only around 4 or 5. He looked up at me with big blue eyes. He was so adorable. My heart seemed to skip a beat as I saw him.
"What are you doing?" He asked me.
