Bleeding Hearts, chapter 6
I threw on some chucks from the wardrobe and some clothes that I liked. I admired myself in the mirror then headed out of the room. I saw Ramona on the computer. I walked over to her and out my hand on her shoulder. "Hey. What ya doing?" I asked as I looked on the screen
She laughed slightly and pointed to the screen. "It is this Green Day fan site. I love reading some off the stuff on here. It is hilarious. I just go on here when I am bored. Some of these people are so wrong in their stories. But I still love it. I'm reading one about Billie Joe and Adie at the moment. It is hilarious."
I smiled slightly. "Ok. Fair enough I suppose." I walked off down the corridor and went into the kitchen. I walked over to the fridge to see what they had. Hmm. What to eat what to eat? Toast? No. To boring. They have sausage rolls. Nope. They have meat in. I have been a strict vegetarian for all my life. I don't even know what meat tastes like. What to have? What to have? Eventually I just took out an apple and sat at the table chewing at that.
I heard footsteps behind me and I started to turn around to look who it was.
"Hey," The person said. It was my dad.
Instantly my head, shot back towards the apple and I didn't look up. He sat down opposite me. I could see his chest but I refused to look at his face. I wanted to. God knows I did. But I couldn't. My brain wouldn't let me.
"Heya," I said back. I ate my apple in silence then stood up and grabbed my school bag. "See ya later." I said and left the house. I had a hoodie on and as I walked down he driveway I pulled it over my face like John had been doing the night before. I had large baggy jeans and a black tatty bag slung over one shoulder. I was walking out of some posh house and I probably looked like I had just robbed the place.
I looked around me and there were very prim looking people everywhere. They all were dressed nicely and didn't have a speck of dirt on them. It made me feel very inferior. I looked around for some damp little corner where I could just sit down. I saw one at the end of an alley way and I placed myself in it. It was a small alley. The walls were grey and had graffiti on them everywhere. I could smell cannabis and other various drugs in the air and the corner I was in had water dripping from the wall just to the right of my head. I breathed in the stale air and opened my bag. I pulled out a knife.
I rolled up my sleeve and took out a penknife that was lying at the bottom of the bag. It wasn't very sharp but that was part of the fun. I just kept hacking away at it until it was red and swollen and couldn't actually feel my wrist anymore.
Through a rip in my jeans I carved a large heart onto my thigh. It hurt so much but the pain just gave me an adrenalin rush and I needed more. I looked at my poor wrist. It couldn't take much more. A drop of blood fell onto the floor and I looked up to make sure no one was around. I checked to my right and then to my left. No one was there. I then quickly checked to my right again and some one was staring strait back at me.
"Hey Jan," they said.
I was gob smacked. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't say anything.
"Are you going to say anything?" The person asked.
I looked into there eyes. Their big brown eye that stared back at me. The eyes that hadn't looked at me for so many years. "Mum?" I asked.
She laughed slightly and pointed to the screen. "It is this Green Day fan site. I love reading some off the stuff on here. It is hilarious. I just go on here when I am bored. Some of these people are so wrong in their stories. But I still love it. I'm reading one about Billie Joe and Adie at the moment. It is hilarious."
I smiled slightly. "Ok. Fair enough I suppose." I walked off down the corridor and went into the kitchen. I walked over to the fridge to see what they had. Hmm. What to eat what to eat? Toast? No. To boring. They have sausage rolls. Nope. They have meat in. I have been a strict vegetarian for all my life. I don't even know what meat tastes like. What to have? What to have? Eventually I just took out an apple and sat at the table chewing at that.
I heard footsteps behind me and I started to turn around to look who it was.
"Hey," The person said. It was my dad.
Instantly my head, shot back towards the apple and I didn't look up. He sat down opposite me. I could see his chest but I refused to look at his face. I wanted to. God knows I did. But I couldn't. My brain wouldn't let me.
"Heya," I said back. I ate my apple in silence then stood up and grabbed my school bag. "See ya later." I said and left the house. I had a hoodie on and as I walked down he driveway I pulled it over my face like John had been doing the night before. I had large baggy jeans and a black tatty bag slung over one shoulder. I was walking out of some posh house and I probably looked like I had just robbed the place.
I looked around me and there were very prim looking people everywhere. They all were dressed nicely and didn't have a speck of dirt on them. It made me feel very inferior. I looked around for some damp little corner where I could just sit down. I saw one at the end of an alley way and I placed myself in it. It was a small alley. The walls were grey and had graffiti on them everywhere. I could smell cannabis and other various drugs in the air and the corner I was in had water dripping from the wall just to the right of my head. I breathed in the stale air and opened my bag. I pulled out a knife.
I rolled up my sleeve and took out a penknife that was lying at the bottom of the bag. It wasn't very sharp but that was part of the fun. I just kept hacking away at it until it was red and swollen and couldn't actually feel my wrist anymore.
Through a rip in my jeans I carved a large heart onto my thigh. It hurt so much but the pain just gave me an adrenalin rush and I needed more. I looked at my poor wrist. It couldn't take much more. A drop of blood fell onto the floor and I looked up to make sure no one was around. I checked to my right and then to my left. No one was there. I then quickly checked to my right again and some one was staring strait back at me.
"Hey Jan," they said.
I was gob smacked. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't say anything.
"Are you going to say anything?" The person asked.
I looked into there eyes. Their big brown eye that stared back at me. The eyes that hadn't looked at me for so many years. "Mum?" I asked.
