Bleeding Hearts, chapter 8
*No ones POV *
"This way please Mr... Cool," said a confused looking doctor as he gestured through a door and into a ward of the hospital.
Tre stepped in and nodded to the doctor to show that he could leave. He looked over at Jan's barley alive body.
"What happened to you?" he asked in a disgusted but still loving tone. "When you were a little kid and I saw you at the concerts you were so full of hope. Today you ditched school and ended up spending your day in a graveyard. Why did you loose your confidence and optimism?"
Tre ran his hand over Jan's hair.
"Cos you weren't there," A spiteful voice came from behind him. He looked around to see two boys sitting on chairs in the corner.
He looked shocked. "And who... May I ask... Are you?"
The boy who had said something stood up. "I'm Jack. Jan's Boyfriend. And this," he gestured to the other boy who was looking at his lap with the sound of 'You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison' blasting into his ears. "Is Gavin; Jan's best friend."
Tre stood to his full height. Jack was quite small and Tre towered above him but Jack still managed to make him self-look big. "Her mother didn't want me in her life. I wanted to be in her life but I couldn't."
Gavin looked up. He looked from Jack to Tre not saying anything. "Holy fuck," He whispered. "You're Tre Cool from Green Day."
He stood up and walked over to him. He poked him in the chest. "Oh my god. It's real," he squealed and jumped up.
"Are you a Green Day fan?" Tre asked.
Jack knew what was coming. He couldn't help but let out a stifled laugh. "No," Gavin said. "Well I don't mind you but... you have met My Chemical Romance. OH MY GOD THAT IS SO COOL!"
He started running in circles around Tre.
"Have you got anything signed by them? Or can you get something signed by them. Or get me to meet them. I would do anything. Honestly I would."
Jack sat down and started laughing silently. If you didn't know Gavin, his obsession with My Chemical Romance could actually get quite scary.
Tre raised his eyebrows. "No... I haven't got anything signed by them. Gerard and Mikey were coming over my house later too... Well... get drunk and high. But I think they will be coming to the hospital instead now."
Jack started laughing uncontrollably. Gavin looked like he was about to explode... Which he did?
Well... sort of. He started breathing quickly and one of his eyes started twitching. Before anyone knew what was happening he jumped into the air and was hugging Tre. Tre stumble backwards and fell into the arms of Mike who had just entered the room. Mike went tumbling to the floor and slid back out of the door and across the corridor. A nurse had been running down the corridor and was tripped up by a flying Mike. She caught her foot on some wires that were running along the edge of the corridor and the wires pulled the sockets out of the wall. This in turn pulled a row of lamps off of tables at the side of the corridor. They all smashed on the floor and a couple of them let out sparks and exploded... So in conclusion it wasn't Gavin that exploded it was the lamps. But he was the one that made them do this.
Gavin latched himself onto Tres leg and looked at him with puppy dog eyes. "Please please please say that I can meet them."
Tre looked down at him worriedly. "I... Suppose... so."
Gavin screamed and started jumping up and down in the middle of the room.
A nurse appeared in the doorway. "Um... Excuse me... I have some news on her condition," the nurse said.
Instantly Gavin calmed down and sat in a chair next to Jack and Tre sat next to him. The nurse closed the door and pulled up a stool to sit on in front of them.
She held out her hand for Tre to shake. "Well then... I'm nurse Saunders. You can just call me Lilly. I'm a big fan of yours by the way. But that is not what we are here to discuss."
Tre took her hand and shook it. She then shook hands with Gavin and Jack.
She tucked her hair behind her ears and picked up a clipboard. "Now then... I'm afraid that there is no easy way to tell you this. But it seems that Janet... "
But Gavin cut her off. "Jan... " The nurse was looking confused. "Jan not Janet. She hated that."
The nurse nodded understandingly. "Ok. Well... She took quite a bump to the head so we decided to take a look to make sure nothing was wrong. We took some scans and well... Just look at this."
She walked over to a little board on the wall that lit up. She stuck up some brain scans.
"From this angle and this angle there is nothing wrong," she said pointing to two of the pictures. "But on this one you can easily see some abnormalities. Down here you can see some grey splodges. They are nothing serious. But this could result in hallucinations and irrational thinking. It could also mean that she will find it hard to except new things in her life and will feel drowsy and sometimes faint like she did in the cemetery. It has been there for a couple of months. We can't say what bought it on and I'm afraid that the bad thing is that number one. We can't treat it. And number two. It could easily get worse over time. We will have to keep an eye on it and we can try to stop it getting worse. However... This other splodge here is a tumour. And we believe it could be cancerous and perhaps related to what killed her mother. Sorry to tell you in that way but there really is no easy way to tell some one that. And of course this thing that we believe to be cancer could also affect her brain."
They all nodded solemnly. They felt sick. Tre had just had the chance to get to know her and already her life was in danger. Jack had dreamed of her being his for so many years. And now that he had her any thing could happen. And Gavin had never even got to feel the warmth of her body against his. And now he might never be able to have her loving him.
A tear ran down Tre's cheek. "She looks so much like her mother when she is sleeping," he whispered.
Gavin and Jack looked up at him. "Never met her mother," Jack said quietly.
Gavin let tears well up in his eyes. "I met her the night her mum died. My dad drove the ambulance she was in to the hospital. A hole load of use that did."
Tre smiled weekly. "Her mum was an amazing woman. I would of stayed with her. But she got pregnant when I needed to go on tour. She thought it would be easier if I just left. She didn't want me screwing Jan up. But I would of given it all away to be with her. Her mum just didn't let me do that. I gave them money and kept them under a roof. A quarter of my income goes into a bank account for Jan. It was the plan to give it to her on her 16th birthday. And I hope that will be possible."
Gavin looked shocked. "Wow. So... She is a multi-millionaire?" he asked.
Tre nodded. "Yeh. But I hope that makes no difference to you."
They both shook their heads
"Mum?" Jan whispered. "You came back. I thought it would be ages until I saw you."
They all looked over at her. She had sat up in her bed and was sitting with her arms in her lap and looking at her feet. She was wide-awake. She looked up into nothingness. Tears welled in her eyes. "I love you mum," she leaned forward and tried to hug the air but went falling forwards. "Oh yeah. I forgot. I can't touch you."
***
I looked up from the bed. Four people were in the room. Gavin, Jack, a nurse turned away from me and my dad. I knew it was him. So I couldn't look at him. I rested my head back on the pillow. None of them were looking at me. I could here them talking about my mum. I rolled onto my side and there she was. Staring back at me. Just lying there. I smiled and she smiled back. With one swift movement she moved her whole body onto the side of the bed and sat there looking at me. I sat next to her.
"Mum?" I asked quietly. She nodded with a grin on her face.
"You came back. I thought it would be ages until I saw you," she shook her head.
"Jan... I hate to say this," I looked at her worriedly. "I can't see you anymore. You are sick and if I am here you wont get better. I can still watch you but I can't come visit you."
I felt my heart being ripped out. Now that I had seen her I wasn't sure I could live without her. Tears formed in my eyes and clouded my vision. I blinked and one went tumbling down my face.
"I love you mum," I leaned forwards to try and hug her but went falling strait onto the bed. "Oh yeah. I forgot. I can't touch you."
She shook her head. "No. I want to be able to feel you Jan. I love you. I really do. But I am worried for you. I want you to look at your dad. For me. It is my last wish. I will never see you again. Not unless you get better. I love you. Good bye." With that she seemed to just blow away. The window was opened and as a gust of wind came in it just seemed to make her dissolve into the air. And on the wind I just heard her say two words. Words that meant so much but hurt so much because of the fact I might never hear her say them again. "My love."
I closed my eyes and let the sent of her waft through my nostrils. I fell flat on my back with my arms out stretched. "My love," I muttered and blacked out.
"This way please Mr... Cool," said a confused looking doctor as he gestured through a door and into a ward of the hospital.
Tre stepped in and nodded to the doctor to show that he could leave. He looked over at Jan's barley alive body.
"What happened to you?" he asked in a disgusted but still loving tone. "When you were a little kid and I saw you at the concerts you were so full of hope. Today you ditched school and ended up spending your day in a graveyard. Why did you loose your confidence and optimism?"
Tre ran his hand over Jan's hair.
"Cos you weren't there," A spiteful voice came from behind him. He looked around to see two boys sitting on chairs in the corner.
He looked shocked. "And who... May I ask... Are you?"
The boy who had said something stood up. "I'm Jack. Jan's Boyfriend. And this," he gestured to the other boy who was looking at his lap with the sound of 'You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison' blasting into his ears. "Is Gavin; Jan's best friend."
Tre stood to his full height. Jack was quite small and Tre towered above him but Jack still managed to make him self-look big. "Her mother didn't want me in her life. I wanted to be in her life but I couldn't."
Gavin looked up. He looked from Jack to Tre not saying anything. "Holy fuck," He whispered. "You're Tre Cool from Green Day."
He stood up and walked over to him. He poked him in the chest. "Oh my god. It's real," he squealed and jumped up.
"Are you a Green Day fan?" Tre asked.
Jack knew what was coming. He couldn't help but let out a stifled laugh. "No," Gavin said. "Well I don't mind you but... you have met My Chemical Romance. OH MY GOD THAT IS SO COOL!"
He started running in circles around Tre.
"Have you got anything signed by them? Or can you get something signed by them. Or get me to meet them. I would do anything. Honestly I would."
Jack sat down and started laughing silently. If you didn't know Gavin, his obsession with My Chemical Romance could actually get quite scary.
Tre raised his eyebrows. "No... I haven't got anything signed by them. Gerard and Mikey were coming over my house later too... Well... get drunk and high. But I think they will be coming to the hospital instead now."
Jack started laughing uncontrollably. Gavin looked like he was about to explode... Which he did?
Well... sort of. He started breathing quickly and one of his eyes started twitching. Before anyone knew what was happening he jumped into the air and was hugging Tre. Tre stumble backwards and fell into the arms of Mike who had just entered the room. Mike went tumbling to the floor and slid back out of the door and across the corridor. A nurse had been running down the corridor and was tripped up by a flying Mike. She caught her foot on some wires that were running along the edge of the corridor and the wires pulled the sockets out of the wall. This in turn pulled a row of lamps off of tables at the side of the corridor. They all smashed on the floor and a couple of them let out sparks and exploded... So in conclusion it wasn't Gavin that exploded it was the lamps. But he was the one that made them do this.
Gavin latched himself onto Tres leg and looked at him with puppy dog eyes. "Please please please say that I can meet them."
Tre looked down at him worriedly. "I... Suppose... so."
Gavin screamed and started jumping up and down in the middle of the room.
A nurse appeared in the doorway. "Um... Excuse me... I have some news on her condition," the nurse said.
Instantly Gavin calmed down and sat in a chair next to Jack and Tre sat next to him. The nurse closed the door and pulled up a stool to sit on in front of them.
She held out her hand for Tre to shake. "Well then... I'm nurse Saunders. You can just call me Lilly. I'm a big fan of yours by the way. But that is not what we are here to discuss."
Tre took her hand and shook it. She then shook hands with Gavin and Jack.
She tucked her hair behind her ears and picked up a clipboard. "Now then... I'm afraid that there is no easy way to tell you this. But it seems that Janet... "
But Gavin cut her off. "Jan... " The nurse was looking confused. "Jan not Janet. She hated that."
The nurse nodded understandingly. "Ok. Well... She took quite a bump to the head so we decided to take a look to make sure nothing was wrong. We took some scans and well... Just look at this."
She walked over to a little board on the wall that lit up. She stuck up some brain scans.
"From this angle and this angle there is nothing wrong," she said pointing to two of the pictures. "But on this one you can easily see some abnormalities. Down here you can see some grey splodges. They are nothing serious. But this could result in hallucinations and irrational thinking. It could also mean that she will find it hard to except new things in her life and will feel drowsy and sometimes faint like she did in the cemetery. It has been there for a couple of months. We can't say what bought it on and I'm afraid that the bad thing is that number one. We can't treat it. And number two. It could easily get worse over time. We will have to keep an eye on it and we can try to stop it getting worse. However... This other splodge here is a tumour. And we believe it could be cancerous and perhaps related to what killed her mother. Sorry to tell you in that way but there really is no easy way to tell some one that. And of course this thing that we believe to be cancer could also affect her brain."
They all nodded solemnly. They felt sick. Tre had just had the chance to get to know her and already her life was in danger. Jack had dreamed of her being his for so many years. And now that he had her any thing could happen. And Gavin had never even got to feel the warmth of her body against his. And now he might never be able to have her loving him.
A tear ran down Tre's cheek. "She looks so much like her mother when she is sleeping," he whispered.
Gavin and Jack looked up at him. "Never met her mother," Jack said quietly.
Gavin let tears well up in his eyes. "I met her the night her mum died. My dad drove the ambulance she was in to the hospital. A hole load of use that did."
Tre smiled weekly. "Her mum was an amazing woman. I would of stayed with her. But she got pregnant when I needed to go on tour. She thought it would be easier if I just left. She didn't want me screwing Jan up. But I would of given it all away to be with her. Her mum just didn't let me do that. I gave them money and kept them under a roof. A quarter of my income goes into a bank account for Jan. It was the plan to give it to her on her 16th birthday. And I hope that will be possible."
Gavin looked shocked. "Wow. So... She is a multi-millionaire?" he asked.
Tre nodded. "Yeh. But I hope that makes no difference to you."
They both shook their heads
"Mum?" Jan whispered. "You came back. I thought it would be ages until I saw you."
They all looked over at her. She had sat up in her bed and was sitting with her arms in her lap and looking at her feet. She was wide-awake. She looked up into nothingness. Tears welled in her eyes. "I love you mum," she leaned forward and tried to hug the air but went falling forwards. "Oh yeah. I forgot. I can't touch you."
***
I looked up from the bed. Four people were in the room. Gavin, Jack, a nurse turned away from me and my dad. I knew it was him. So I couldn't look at him. I rested my head back on the pillow. None of them were looking at me. I could here them talking about my mum. I rolled onto my side and there she was. Staring back at me. Just lying there. I smiled and she smiled back. With one swift movement she moved her whole body onto the side of the bed and sat there looking at me. I sat next to her.
"Mum?" I asked quietly. She nodded with a grin on her face.
"You came back. I thought it would be ages until I saw you," she shook her head.
"Jan... I hate to say this," I looked at her worriedly. "I can't see you anymore. You are sick and if I am here you wont get better. I can still watch you but I can't come visit you."
I felt my heart being ripped out. Now that I had seen her I wasn't sure I could live without her. Tears formed in my eyes and clouded my vision. I blinked and one went tumbling down my face.
"I love you mum," I leaned forwards to try and hug her but went falling strait onto the bed. "Oh yeah. I forgot. I can't touch you."
She shook her head. "No. I want to be able to feel you Jan. I love you. I really do. But I am worried for you. I want you to look at your dad. For me. It is my last wish. I will never see you again. Not unless you get better. I love you. Good bye." With that she seemed to just blow away. The window was opened and as a gust of wind came in it just seemed to make her dissolve into the air. And on the wind I just heard her say two words. Words that meant so much but hurt so much because of the fact I might never hear her say them again. "My love."
I closed my eyes and let the sent of her waft through my nostrils. I fell flat on my back with my arms out stretched. "My love," I muttered and blacked out.
