Tripping Over Drum Sets, chapter 28
The next morning when I woke up, it was still dark.
"Still on NY time Saidi," I said to myself as I got out of bed and got dressed. I brushed my hair quickly and left my room. It was 6:30 AM Oakland time. I walked into the kitchen as quietly as I could and turned on the light. I didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't want to help myself to any food, because I was a guest in the house. I sat down on a chair and looked around the room. I decided that looking at pictures on the refrigerator would pass some time. There weren't a lot of pictures on it.
"You can have some food you know," said a voice behind me. I spun around and there was Tre walking towards the refrigerator in his.. what... not boxers... jockey underwear.
"What? No. I'm a guest," I said trying to hide my face which I was sure had gone beat red by the time Tre opened the refrigerator and took out the eggs.
"So? I am too. You're more then welcome. We all take from each other's houses. Go ahead," he said starting to fry some eggs up. "You want some eggs?"
"Sure. But first, why are you up so early?" I asked as I sat down.
"I dunno. I was up around 4 and I couldn't fall asleep and then I heard you get up so I thought I might as well get up and have some one to talk to. Plus, I'll have to get on NY time, for when we go down for the wedding," he said. The last bit sounded cold. Like me getting married was a bad thing.
"You say it like me getting married is bad," I said speaking what I was thinking.
"Well. I didn't mean it like that. But I guess it is for me," he said all of a sudden becoming very interested in what the frying eggs were doing.
"What do you mean?" I asked standing up and walking to his side.
"Nothing. I'll tell you later," he said, putting the eggs on a plate and handing them to me.
"Fine then. Thanks," I said as I sat back down and ate my breakfast.
"So how's NY?" he asked as he picked up Frank. Haha! Frank and Frank! I thought.
"It's good. Busy, but good," I said with a mouthful of eggs.
"That's good."
"How's the band? Come out with any new songs yet?" I asked.
"Yeah. Loads. Our next album will be called 'Insomniac' and we already have a couple songs ready. Like the one at Woodstock, Geek Stink Breath. There are more. Billie Joe mostly writes his songs at night though, because Joey is up all night crying. You've probably noticed the bags under his eyes," he said.
"Yeah. Poor guy. Well it sounds like your next album will be a hit," I said. We kept talking mostly about the albums and music until Billie Joe came out in his boxers at about 8:00.
"I am going to eat and then jump off a bridge I'm so tired," he said as he fell against the refrigerator. Tre and I quickly glanced at each other and then back to Billie Joe who looked like he was going to fall asleep on the floor.
"Here. I'll make you some eggs and you can sit down and try to eat them," I said as I got up and started to make eggs.
"Thanks Saidi," he said as he took my seat.
"No problem," I said walking over to the stove to make him breakfast.
"I... am... so.... tired..." he said smashing his head down on the table.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," said Tre putting the last of his breakfast in his mouth.
"Fuck you!" said Billie Joe lifting his head and squinting at Tre.
"Excuse me?" I said laughing.
"I can't feel it so it doesn't matter. I feel stoned from no sleep!" he said putting his head down again.
"Whatever," said Tre putting the last of his breakfast in his mouth and getting up.
"Where are you going?" I asked.
"To watch the tube," he grumbled. I dropped my head and searched my brain.. the tube... the tube.. OH! The tube! The TV!
"I get it now!" I said out loud. Tre turned around and Billie Joe lifted his head and they both looked at me weird. "I forgot what it meant," I said shrugging and feeling myself blush. Tre screwed up his face and walked into the living room mumbling something about me being odd. I finished cooking the eggs and gave them to Billie Joe. He gave them one look and didn't even bother to pick up a fork when they were gone.
"I was hungry," he said wiping his mouth. I raised my eye brows.
"Yeah! I see that," I said sitting down. "Billie Joe, do you know what's wrong with Tre?"
"What do you mean? There's lots of things wrong with him. He's Tre after all," he said.
"Well, I was talking to him and he didn't sound too happy about me getting married," I said.
"Oh that. God Tre. He will just not stop," said Billie Joe putting his head in his hands.
"What do you mean?" I asked. Billie Joe ran his fingers through his hair.
"That dumbass still loves you Saidi. Even five years after you broke up," he said.
"Yeah I kinda figured that. But the thing is, we didn't officially break it off," I said thinking back to when Tre cheated on me.
"You didn't!" said Billie Joe looking right at me now.
"No. I just sorta left with out saying anything," I said. "And we never really, REALLY brought up the subject after that."
"Oh God. That's why he's being a jerk," he said.
"He doesn't think I'm cheating on him does he?" I asked.
"No. He knows it's over, but he's holding on to the fact that nothing 'official' happened. He knows that you are with some one else," said Billie Joe. I gave a sigh of relief.
"Okay. Good," I said. We didn't really talk after that. We just sorta looked at each other and glanced at Tre every now and then.
"Well, I think I'm gonna go join Tre and watch the tube. You know what that is right? The tuuuuube," he said slowly and clearly. "The TV. Tuuube!"
"Yeah, yeah, I get the idea," I said rolling my eyes and punching him in the arm lightly.
"We are going for a drive later today so, I'd get ready if I were you. We're gonna go see 'The Bomb Shelter.' Should be exciting," he said. After he turned around and sat down on the couch with Tre I put my head down on the table.
"Yeah it should be," I said to myself. Why am I talking to myself? Wow, I have a tendency of talking to myself a lot. Oh damn. Okay. I have to shut up. Okay... shutting up in 3... 2... 1..... Rrrrrrr... Damn! I almost did it. But you can't really shut up in your head can you? No I didn't think so. Shit! "Okay, I'm gonna go to my room and... do some stuff..." I said breaking the conversations in my head.
" 'Stuff' eh?" said Tre.
"Not masturbation, Tre. I'll leave that business to you," I said leaving the kitchen. I went into my room. Just before I shut the door, I heard Tre say, "See! I'm allowed to masturbate!" This made me gag a little. I'll get dressed... wait.. I already am. Um... I looked around the room. There wasn't much I could do. Oh! I could feed my dog who had decided to go back to bed. I poured a small bowl of dog food and put it on the bed in front of him. He lifted his head, sniffed it, took a kibble, ate it and went back to bed. I raised my eyebrows.
"Okay then. I'll feed you later," I said putting the food on the floor next to the foot of the bed. I sat down on the bed and stared at the walls, patting Frank on the head. Then the door swung open.
"RISE AND SH-" shouted Mike, his arms stretched out. "Oh, you're already awake. Well, good morning then," I spun around and looked up at Mike.
"Yeah, since 7:00ish," I said. Mike sat down next to me.
"Wow. Early bird are we?" he said. I nodded. "What's up?"
"Nothing," I mumbled. He tilted his head and wrinkled up his face.
"Yes there is. Now tell me god dammit!" he said playfully. I looked up at him.
"Tre... I... I don't know," I said.
"Saidi... you do know. Now tell me what's eatin' you," he said.
"Tre was talking about how he had to get his sleep pattern to NY time 'seeing as the wedding is soon.' And I said, 'You make it sound like it's a bad thing that I'm getting married.' And he just said, 'Well, it's not. Well I guess it's bad for me.' And then he said he would tell me later, and he's being really weird. And now I don't know if getting married is the right thing to do now," I said starting to tear up. Mike wrapped his arms around me.
"It's okay. And getting married is the best thing to do. Don't worry about Tre. You're going to have a wonderful life with Nick okay?" he said rocking me back and forth. I nodded and wiped away my tears.
"Now come on. We are going to go for a drive! It's gonna be fun, fun, fun!" he squeal jumping up and down. I smiled and followed him into the living room to find Billie Joe and Adi playing with the baby and Tre watching TV. Mike ran over to Tre and jumped on him, putting his arms around Tre's neck, pulling him into a hug. "I LOVE YOU TRE! EVEN THOUGH YOU CAN BE A TOTAL DUMB FUCK!" he said. Billie Joe burst out laughing as Tre had dumped Mike onto the ground with a huge thud. Adi just sat there with the baby in her arms shooting evil glares at Mike, Tre and Billie Joe.
"What?" said Billie Joe.
"You know what," said Adi. "No swearing in front of Joey!" she said.
"He doesn't even speak yet!" said Tre.
"But he will be soon. And I don't want his first word to be an F-bomb!" she said. The boys nodded and continued their activities.
"I thought we were going for a drive?" said Mike.
"Yeah we are. Just let Adi and I get dressed and we'll be on our way," said Billie Joe standing up. He ran to the room, got dressed and came out with in a minute.
"That was fast, and your shirt is inside out," said Adi pointing to Billie Joe. He looked down.
"So it is," he said taking it off and putting it on the right way. Adi handed Joey off to Billie Joe and got dressed herself. When she came out Billie Joe pointed at her.
"Your shirt's inside out too!" he said. She looked down. It wasn't.
"Nice try to get me to take my shirt off Billie Joe," she said rolling her eyes. Every one piled into the car and Billie Joe started it up. I ended up falling asleep for about 15 minutes when Mike shook me awake. We had stopped. I looked out the window and there was a house. A very familiar house. We all got out and I walked up to the house and opened the door. I let out a sigh of amazement.
"It's 'The Bomb Shelter.' Oh my God!" I said. We all walked in. This is where I got loopy off my meds for my ankle! And that's the shower where Tre and I first kissed!"
"You mean first made out and then a bunch of 'other' stuff!" said Mike laughing.
"Yeah. And, is that? Oh no! Hahaha! Billie Joe! It's the same refrigerator as the dare!" I said.
"That was gross. I've never eaten another pepper since that," he said holding his stomach. Adi nodded.
"He hasn't!" she said. We had our tour around the house, seeing if things were still the same or not.
"I still have a key!" said Mike pulling out his key chain. He showed it to us.
"That's wicked sweet!" said Tre excitedly. The key was passed around like an ancient relic, each of us careful to examine it and not to drop it at the same time. When it was returned to Mike I turned to Billie Joe.
"How did you do this?" I asked. He tilted his head. "How did you get a tour of the house?"
"What makes you think I did it?" he said.
"Because it's something you would do Billie Joe. I'm not stupid," I said. He dropped his head.
"Yeah. I know. I dunno. I met the landlord in the grocery store and I asked him if we could go for a tour or whatever. You know," he said. I hugged him.
"This is great!" I said. I hugged Mike and Tre and Adi next. "I've always loved this house," I said trailing off and exploring the rest of the house as did everyone else.
After we left the house we drove over the Golden Gate Bridge and around San Francisco. We stopped at one of the parks and got out. Adi and Billie Joe walked together with Joey in their arms, kissing him lightly on the forehead. Mike and Tre were playing tag and climbing in the trees as I looked on. Billie Joe and Adi had sat down next to the little creek that was running through the park so I sat down next to them. Joey was playing with a leaf and putting it in his mouth.
"I don't think so Joey. You don't know where that's been!" said Adi pulling the leaf out of his mouth and putting it on top of his head. I decided to take my shoes and socks off just to cool down my feet in the creek. I slid down the band and dipped my feet in. It felt so nice. Mike and Tre had come running towards us panting.
"Who won?" asked Billie Joe. Tre put his hands on his hips.
"No one wins in tag you idiot!" he said sitting down next to me. Mike took off his shoes and sock, sat on the other side of me and put his feet in the water next to mine.
"It's cold eh?" he said pulling his feet out and drying them off. I shrugged. I didn't mind it to be honest.
"Adi, I have to go to the bathroom. Want me to take Joey too?" asked Billie Joe standing up.
"Actually, I have to go too. Anyone else?" she said getting up. Mike jumped up right away and raced Billie Joe to the bathroom and Adi walked by herself with Joey in her arms, leaving Tre and me by ourselves by the creek. We sat there and watched them disappear into the bathrooms. I turned to Tre. He was staring at my hair.
"What?" I asked putting my hands in my hair to see if there was anything in it. He snapped out of it.
"Nothing. It's just, you're so beautiful Saidi," he said looking down.
"Tre, can you tell me what you said you were going to later back at the house?" I asked, the thought suddenly coming back to me. He looked back up at me.
"About the wedding thing?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said turning my whole body to face him.
"It's just that... well, you getting married is great and all and I'm really happy for you, that you found someone who can love you and all. But I've never really... I've never really moved on from what we had before. And I still love you, and watching you get married will be the hardest thing I'll ever do, and I don't know if I can come, because it will break my heart over and over again with every word that the priest says. Saidi, not once over the last 5 years have I stopped thinking about you. Even when I'm eating or sleeping. I'd be eating a pizza and thinking to myself, 'I wonder if Saidi would have ordered this.'
Or, 'I wonder if Saidi likes these toppings or not.' See, even the smallest things reminded me of you. I sold the green mustang because whenever I drove it, I would cry, because I would remember all the good times we had and the fact that I can never have those good times back, or times like those ones in the future. Like the first time I picked you up from your house to come over to 'The Bomb Shelter.'
And every time I woke up, I'd roll over hoping that what happened was a horrible dream, and that you were beside me sleeping silently with your gorgeous brown hair in your face. Saidi, I can't watch you get married and give your love to another man because it will kill me to watch you say, 'I do.' Saidi, I still love you, even more so then I did 5 years ago. And I'll never stop loving you. What I did broke my heart as well as yours. And I'm not saying that I was in more pain then you were, I'm just saying that... that..." he started to tear up. "...that I know I screwed up royally, and that I'll never get you back. And that breaks my heart because I've never had a girlfriend since you. A girl would come up to me and flirt or whatever, but I never accepted anything, because I would be hoping that you were in the room watching me, knowing that I'll never ever, EVER feel that same way about anyone, as I felt about you. Saidi, I'm never going to stop loving you," he finished. I just looked at him. I felt a tear go down my cheek and fall onto the grass. Tre just sat there still looking at me, his eye full of hope that I would take him back.
"Tre..." I said. "I still love you too. But I love Nick too and we're getting married in less then two weeks now... and-"
"I know, I know. And I'm not stopping you. I just had to let you know how I felt," he said looking down. I put my hand on his chin and made him look at me. His eyes were watery and a single tear was trailing down his cheek. His eyes looked down.
"Tre. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, okay? Don't ever think different," I said moving my head closer to him. His eyes looked up and me, but soon closed as our lips met. I hugged him and pulled back, smiling faintly at him.
"WE'RE BAAAAAAAAAAACK!" screamed Mike as he pummeled into me and Tre. I looked over my shoulder and saw Billie Joe and Adi running with Joey towards us.
"Are we ready to go?" asked Adi. I looked at Tre and then back at Adi.'
"Yeah. I think we are," I said getting up. We all piled back into Billie Joe's car and drove back to their house. Tre's speech in the park was running through my mind over and over and over again. Never stopping. I knew that we still loved each other, but I still loved Nick so much. Just as I was sure that I was over Tre, he comes out with this monstrous speech and makes me fall for him a little bit more. But I could recover.... right?
"Still on NY time Saidi," I said to myself as I got out of bed and got dressed. I brushed my hair quickly and left my room. It was 6:30 AM Oakland time. I walked into the kitchen as quietly as I could and turned on the light. I didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't want to help myself to any food, because I was a guest in the house. I sat down on a chair and looked around the room. I decided that looking at pictures on the refrigerator would pass some time. There weren't a lot of pictures on it.
"You can have some food you know," said a voice behind me. I spun around and there was Tre walking towards the refrigerator in his.. what... not boxers... jockey underwear.
"What? No. I'm a guest," I said trying to hide my face which I was sure had gone beat red by the time Tre opened the refrigerator and took out the eggs.
"So? I am too. You're more then welcome. We all take from each other's houses. Go ahead," he said starting to fry some eggs up. "You want some eggs?"
"Sure. But first, why are you up so early?" I asked as I sat down.
"I dunno. I was up around 4 and I couldn't fall asleep and then I heard you get up so I thought I might as well get up and have some one to talk to. Plus, I'll have to get on NY time, for when we go down for the wedding," he said. The last bit sounded cold. Like me getting married was a bad thing.
"You say it like me getting married is bad," I said speaking what I was thinking.
"Well. I didn't mean it like that. But I guess it is for me," he said all of a sudden becoming very interested in what the frying eggs were doing.
"What do you mean?" I asked standing up and walking to his side.
"Nothing. I'll tell you later," he said, putting the eggs on a plate and handing them to me.
"Fine then. Thanks," I said as I sat back down and ate my breakfast.
"So how's NY?" he asked as he picked up Frank. Haha! Frank and Frank! I thought.
"It's good. Busy, but good," I said with a mouthful of eggs.
"That's good."
"How's the band? Come out with any new songs yet?" I asked.
"Yeah. Loads. Our next album will be called 'Insomniac' and we already have a couple songs ready. Like the one at Woodstock, Geek Stink Breath. There are more. Billie Joe mostly writes his songs at night though, because Joey is up all night crying. You've probably noticed the bags under his eyes," he said.
"Yeah. Poor guy. Well it sounds like your next album will be a hit," I said. We kept talking mostly about the albums and music until Billie Joe came out in his boxers at about 8:00.
"I am going to eat and then jump off a bridge I'm so tired," he said as he fell against the refrigerator. Tre and I quickly glanced at each other and then back to Billie Joe who looked like he was going to fall asleep on the floor.
"Here. I'll make you some eggs and you can sit down and try to eat them," I said as I got up and started to make eggs.
"Thanks Saidi," he said as he took my seat.
"No problem," I said walking over to the stove to make him breakfast.
"I... am... so.... tired..." he said smashing his head down on the table.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," said Tre putting the last of his breakfast in his mouth.
"Fuck you!" said Billie Joe lifting his head and squinting at Tre.
"Excuse me?" I said laughing.
"I can't feel it so it doesn't matter. I feel stoned from no sleep!" he said putting his head down again.
"Whatever," said Tre putting the last of his breakfast in his mouth and getting up.
"Where are you going?" I asked.
"To watch the tube," he grumbled. I dropped my head and searched my brain.. the tube... the tube.. OH! The tube! The TV!
"I get it now!" I said out loud. Tre turned around and Billie Joe lifted his head and they both looked at me weird. "I forgot what it meant," I said shrugging and feeling myself blush. Tre screwed up his face and walked into the living room mumbling something about me being odd. I finished cooking the eggs and gave them to Billie Joe. He gave them one look and didn't even bother to pick up a fork when they were gone.
"I was hungry," he said wiping his mouth. I raised my eye brows.
"Yeah! I see that," I said sitting down. "Billie Joe, do you know what's wrong with Tre?"
"What do you mean? There's lots of things wrong with him. He's Tre after all," he said.
"Well, I was talking to him and he didn't sound too happy about me getting married," I said.
"Oh that. God Tre. He will just not stop," said Billie Joe putting his head in his hands.
"What do you mean?" I asked. Billie Joe ran his fingers through his hair.
"That dumbass still loves you Saidi. Even five years after you broke up," he said.
"Yeah I kinda figured that. But the thing is, we didn't officially break it off," I said thinking back to when Tre cheated on me.
"You didn't!" said Billie Joe looking right at me now.
"No. I just sorta left with out saying anything," I said. "And we never really, REALLY brought up the subject after that."
"Oh God. That's why he's being a jerk," he said.
"He doesn't think I'm cheating on him does he?" I asked.
"No. He knows it's over, but he's holding on to the fact that nothing 'official' happened. He knows that you are with some one else," said Billie Joe. I gave a sigh of relief.
"Okay. Good," I said. We didn't really talk after that. We just sorta looked at each other and glanced at Tre every now and then.
"Well, I think I'm gonna go join Tre and watch the tube. You know what that is right? The tuuuuube," he said slowly and clearly. "The TV. Tuuube!"
"Yeah, yeah, I get the idea," I said rolling my eyes and punching him in the arm lightly.
"We are going for a drive later today so, I'd get ready if I were you. We're gonna go see 'The Bomb Shelter.' Should be exciting," he said. After he turned around and sat down on the couch with Tre I put my head down on the table.
"Yeah it should be," I said to myself. Why am I talking to myself? Wow, I have a tendency of talking to myself a lot. Oh damn. Okay. I have to shut up. Okay... shutting up in 3... 2... 1..... Rrrrrrr... Damn! I almost did it. But you can't really shut up in your head can you? No I didn't think so. Shit! "Okay, I'm gonna go to my room and... do some stuff..." I said breaking the conversations in my head.
" 'Stuff' eh?" said Tre.
"Not masturbation, Tre. I'll leave that business to you," I said leaving the kitchen. I went into my room. Just before I shut the door, I heard Tre say, "See! I'm allowed to masturbate!" This made me gag a little. I'll get dressed... wait.. I already am. Um... I looked around the room. There wasn't much I could do. Oh! I could feed my dog who had decided to go back to bed. I poured a small bowl of dog food and put it on the bed in front of him. He lifted his head, sniffed it, took a kibble, ate it and went back to bed. I raised my eyebrows.
"Okay then. I'll feed you later," I said putting the food on the floor next to the foot of the bed. I sat down on the bed and stared at the walls, patting Frank on the head. Then the door swung open.
"RISE AND SH-" shouted Mike, his arms stretched out. "Oh, you're already awake. Well, good morning then," I spun around and looked up at Mike.
"Yeah, since 7:00ish," I said. Mike sat down next to me.
"Wow. Early bird are we?" he said. I nodded. "What's up?"
"Nothing," I mumbled. He tilted his head and wrinkled up his face.
"Yes there is. Now tell me god dammit!" he said playfully. I looked up at him.
"Tre... I... I don't know," I said.
"Saidi... you do know. Now tell me what's eatin' you," he said.
"Tre was talking about how he had to get his sleep pattern to NY time 'seeing as the wedding is soon.' And I said, 'You make it sound like it's a bad thing that I'm getting married.' And he just said, 'Well, it's not. Well I guess it's bad for me.' And then he said he would tell me later, and he's being really weird. And now I don't know if getting married is the right thing to do now," I said starting to tear up. Mike wrapped his arms around me.
"It's okay. And getting married is the best thing to do. Don't worry about Tre. You're going to have a wonderful life with Nick okay?" he said rocking me back and forth. I nodded and wiped away my tears.
"Now come on. We are going to go for a drive! It's gonna be fun, fun, fun!" he squeal jumping up and down. I smiled and followed him into the living room to find Billie Joe and Adi playing with the baby and Tre watching TV. Mike ran over to Tre and jumped on him, putting his arms around Tre's neck, pulling him into a hug. "I LOVE YOU TRE! EVEN THOUGH YOU CAN BE A TOTAL DUMB FUCK!" he said. Billie Joe burst out laughing as Tre had dumped Mike onto the ground with a huge thud. Adi just sat there with the baby in her arms shooting evil glares at Mike, Tre and Billie Joe.
"What?" said Billie Joe.
"You know what," said Adi. "No swearing in front of Joey!" she said.
"He doesn't even speak yet!" said Tre.
"But he will be soon. And I don't want his first word to be an F-bomb!" she said. The boys nodded and continued their activities.
"I thought we were going for a drive?" said Mike.
"Yeah we are. Just let Adi and I get dressed and we'll be on our way," said Billie Joe standing up. He ran to the room, got dressed and came out with in a minute.
"That was fast, and your shirt is inside out," said Adi pointing to Billie Joe. He looked down.
"So it is," he said taking it off and putting it on the right way. Adi handed Joey off to Billie Joe and got dressed herself. When she came out Billie Joe pointed at her.
"Your shirt's inside out too!" he said. She looked down. It wasn't.
"Nice try to get me to take my shirt off Billie Joe," she said rolling her eyes. Every one piled into the car and Billie Joe started it up. I ended up falling asleep for about 15 minutes when Mike shook me awake. We had stopped. I looked out the window and there was a house. A very familiar house. We all got out and I walked up to the house and opened the door. I let out a sigh of amazement.
"It's 'The Bomb Shelter.' Oh my God!" I said. We all walked in. This is where I got loopy off my meds for my ankle! And that's the shower where Tre and I first kissed!"
"You mean first made out and then a bunch of 'other' stuff!" said Mike laughing.
"Yeah. And, is that? Oh no! Hahaha! Billie Joe! It's the same refrigerator as the dare!" I said.
"That was gross. I've never eaten another pepper since that," he said holding his stomach. Adi nodded.
"He hasn't!" she said. We had our tour around the house, seeing if things were still the same or not.
"I still have a key!" said Mike pulling out his key chain. He showed it to us.
"That's wicked sweet!" said Tre excitedly. The key was passed around like an ancient relic, each of us careful to examine it and not to drop it at the same time. When it was returned to Mike I turned to Billie Joe.
"How did you do this?" I asked. He tilted his head. "How did you get a tour of the house?"
"What makes you think I did it?" he said.
"Because it's something you would do Billie Joe. I'm not stupid," I said. He dropped his head.
"Yeah. I know. I dunno. I met the landlord in the grocery store and I asked him if we could go for a tour or whatever. You know," he said. I hugged him.
"This is great!" I said. I hugged Mike and Tre and Adi next. "I've always loved this house," I said trailing off and exploring the rest of the house as did everyone else.
After we left the house we drove over the Golden Gate Bridge and around San Francisco. We stopped at one of the parks and got out. Adi and Billie Joe walked together with Joey in their arms, kissing him lightly on the forehead. Mike and Tre were playing tag and climbing in the trees as I looked on. Billie Joe and Adi had sat down next to the little creek that was running through the park so I sat down next to them. Joey was playing with a leaf and putting it in his mouth.
"I don't think so Joey. You don't know where that's been!" said Adi pulling the leaf out of his mouth and putting it on top of his head. I decided to take my shoes and socks off just to cool down my feet in the creek. I slid down the band and dipped my feet in. It felt so nice. Mike and Tre had come running towards us panting.
"Who won?" asked Billie Joe. Tre put his hands on his hips.
"No one wins in tag you idiot!" he said sitting down next to me. Mike took off his shoes and sock, sat on the other side of me and put his feet in the water next to mine.
"It's cold eh?" he said pulling his feet out and drying them off. I shrugged. I didn't mind it to be honest.
"Adi, I have to go to the bathroom. Want me to take Joey too?" asked Billie Joe standing up.
"Actually, I have to go too. Anyone else?" she said getting up. Mike jumped up right away and raced Billie Joe to the bathroom and Adi walked by herself with Joey in her arms, leaving Tre and me by ourselves by the creek. We sat there and watched them disappear into the bathrooms. I turned to Tre. He was staring at my hair.
"What?" I asked putting my hands in my hair to see if there was anything in it. He snapped out of it.
"Nothing. It's just, you're so beautiful Saidi," he said looking down.
"Tre, can you tell me what you said you were going to later back at the house?" I asked, the thought suddenly coming back to me. He looked back up at me.
"About the wedding thing?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said turning my whole body to face him.
"It's just that... well, you getting married is great and all and I'm really happy for you, that you found someone who can love you and all. But I've never really... I've never really moved on from what we had before. And I still love you, and watching you get married will be the hardest thing I'll ever do, and I don't know if I can come, because it will break my heart over and over again with every word that the priest says. Saidi, not once over the last 5 years have I stopped thinking about you. Even when I'm eating or sleeping. I'd be eating a pizza and thinking to myself, 'I wonder if Saidi would have ordered this.'
Or, 'I wonder if Saidi likes these toppings or not.' See, even the smallest things reminded me of you. I sold the green mustang because whenever I drove it, I would cry, because I would remember all the good times we had and the fact that I can never have those good times back, or times like those ones in the future. Like the first time I picked you up from your house to come over to 'The Bomb Shelter.'
And every time I woke up, I'd roll over hoping that what happened was a horrible dream, and that you were beside me sleeping silently with your gorgeous brown hair in your face. Saidi, I can't watch you get married and give your love to another man because it will kill me to watch you say, 'I do.' Saidi, I still love you, even more so then I did 5 years ago. And I'll never stop loving you. What I did broke my heart as well as yours. And I'm not saying that I was in more pain then you were, I'm just saying that... that..." he started to tear up. "...that I know I screwed up royally, and that I'll never get you back. And that breaks my heart because I've never had a girlfriend since you. A girl would come up to me and flirt or whatever, but I never accepted anything, because I would be hoping that you were in the room watching me, knowing that I'll never ever, EVER feel that same way about anyone, as I felt about you. Saidi, I'm never going to stop loving you," he finished. I just looked at him. I felt a tear go down my cheek and fall onto the grass. Tre just sat there still looking at me, his eye full of hope that I would take him back.
"Tre..." I said. "I still love you too. But I love Nick too and we're getting married in less then two weeks now... and-"
"I know, I know. And I'm not stopping you. I just had to let you know how I felt," he said looking down. I put my hand on his chin and made him look at me. His eyes were watery and a single tear was trailing down his cheek. His eyes looked down.
"Tre. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, okay? Don't ever think different," I said moving my head closer to him. His eyes looked up and me, but soon closed as our lips met. I hugged him and pulled back, smiling faintly at him.
"WE'RE BAAAAAAAAAAACK!" screamed Mike as he pummeled into me and Tre. I looked over my shoulder and saw Billie Joe and Adi running with Joey towards us.
"Are we ready to go?" asked Adi. I looked at Tre and then back at Adi.'
"Yeah. I think we are," I said getting up. We all piled back into Billie Joe's car and drove back to their house. Tre's speech in the park was running through my mind over and over and over again. Never stopping. I knew that we still loved each other, but I still loved Nick so much. Just as I was sure that I was over Tre, he comes out with this monstrous speech and makes me fall for him a little bit more. But I could recover.... right?
