Green Day, Graffiti, Chilli, J, AJ, Bee, Clare, The Mainstreet, and The Underbelly, chapter 5
*Many months later, after tour*<b/>
Chilli looked down at the table she was resting her feet upon before staring around the room. There was a beer bottle in her hand. She lifted it to her mouth. Fuck. Empty. Fuck.
"Anyone want another beer?" she asked the guys, who didn't take their eyes from the TV. Futurama was on. Yay.
"Yeah, sure." Came the distant reply from the three men. Chilli stood and walked into Mike's kitchen.
"She's hot, man." Billie Joe said as soon as Chilli was out of the room. Yeah, the Screwtape thing died down. They're too lazy to remember nicknames longer than six letters. Pathetic, I know. Oh well...
"Too bad dude. You're married," Tré said smugly.
"Ha! And that means you've got a chance with her does it Tré? In your dreams man!" Mike said doubtingly. Chilli walked back into the room with four beer bottles cradled in her arms. She had heard every word from the kitchen...well, they weren't exactly...quiet...about what they were saying.
Chilli quietly snuck up behind Billie Joe, who was sitting on a chair with his back to her. She lifted one of the bottles in one hand, took careful aim, and dropped it into his lap. He smiled at it and muttered his thanks without facing her. She grinned mischievously, placed the other three bottles on the floor and silently ran her arms down the sides of the chair, up his arms, rubbed his shoulders softly for a moment, and stroked her fingers across his warm chest. Mike and Tré were grinning as Billie Joe started to look more and more seduced.
Chilli kissed him softly on the cheek and behind the ear, he moaned and seemed to melt as Chilli leant over, kissed his lips, his neck, his cheek, his neck again, then moved her mouth back up, and murmured softly in his ear as her hands glided up his chest, past his neck and over his cheeks.
"The ponies'll kill you."
Billie shot straight up and stared at Chilli as Tré and Mike burst out laughing.
"You've been watching that 'Haunted' episode I'm in haven't you?" He asked looking totally freaked out as she nodded, handed two bottles to Mike and Tré, who were still laughing at what had just happened, and sat down on the sofa next to the drummer with her own.
They eventually stopped laughing and returned to the TV. Bender was high. No surprises there. Bender and Chilli have a lot in common, like they're obnoxious... very obnoxious! Same with Fry and her: they're both retards. Yay. Heh heh.
Chilli glimpsed over at Tré and saw the look in his ocean-like eyes. She leant over and gave him a massive kiss on the lips. Chilli peeked at Billie Joe and Mike who watching with their jaws dropped.
"What the..?" Billie Joe gaped.
"Merry Christmas," Chilli said randomly.
It's a thing she and her friends do. They always greet, farewell, or answer people with a happy/merry/have a good <insert holiday>. It pisses people off cuz they get confused.
"Whoa. Are you two... ?" Mike began bewildered.
Tré and Chilli nodded slowly with massive grins on their faces. Billie smirked. It looked kinda forced to be honest.
"Cool. You do realize that I'm gonna give you some serious shit for this right?" he said smiling evilly. Chilli nodded and, once again, pretended to look sad. Just then, her phone rang.
"Ah hi, it's your phone," the ring tone said in a patronizing voice, "Um... yeah, kinda, um, kinda ringing here, like, perhaps, well, someone wants to talk to you, or, just thought maybe, I dunno, maybe you might wanna answer it?"
Tré laughed and snorted causing Billie and Mike to crack up. Chilli answered her phone, trying desperately not to die from laughter.
"H-Hello?" she chuckled.
"Hi there dumb-bum!" Shouted the voice through from other end.
"HI BUZZ-BEE!!!" Chilli yelled down the phone at the top of her voice. Bee had been one of her best friends since they were in the sixth grade along with AJ who was also there, and Clare who had joined the gang in the seventh. They are very close.
"Guess what?" Bee said in a high-pitched, excited squeal.
"You're in Oakland?" Chilli asked in the same voice.
"How didja know?" Bee said in her normal tone, sounding sad and puzzled.
"I ALWAYS know, man."
"Dammit!"
"Come over," Chilli said as Tré wrapped his arm around her waist and listened to the conversation. Billie and Mike were also listening in intently.
"Where are you?" Bee asked.
Chilli gave her Mike's address and Bee was over in less than five minutes with a surprise. Chilli opened the door and two people threw themselves onto her, hugging her. She lurched backwards, but didn't fall as a third person yanked her into their arms.
"Hi," Chilli gasped.
"Hi," they all said as they squeezed the air out of Chilli's lungs.
The guys came into view to see Chilli being crushed by the affection of her three best friends in the whole wide world.
"Yeah!" Billie joked with enthusiasm, "Finally some girl on girl action!"
"Help me!" Chilli said in a small voice.
"Place your bets. Place your bets here!" Tré joked, "Chilli's odds are going down!"
Chilli pouted, "That's not very nice."
"Oh. I'm sowwy," he said in a baby voice as he made puppy dog eyes.
"So you should be," Bee said.
Mike stared at her. Bee had medium length dark purple hair with random blonde streaks, and her nose was pierced, so were her ears (I would never be able to do that to my nose. It's my nose. What did it ever do to me?). She was wearing green necklace, bright red jeans with a pair of boxer shorts over the top bearing the pattern of the Australian flag, and a green billabong t-shirt. She seemed relaxed. Definitely not as hyper as Chilli, Tré, or another girl who was also there. That girl had random multicolored streaks with black tips all through her short hair, so you couldn't tell what colour it really was, buckteeth, and her eyebrow pierced. She was dressed in a pink and black t-shirt, a short, black, denim skirt and a pair of long, colorful, knee-high, striped socks, poking over the top of a pair of tall, black, lace-up boots. She was grinning and laughing like a lunatic.
Mike turned his attention back to Bee to admire her some. She was so beautiful.
Billie Joe noticed the third girl in the room. She seemed to be the most relaxed and normal of the lot, but he knew there had to be some sort of catch. She had just longer than shoulder length light brown hair and freckles spread cutely across her nose. She had her ears pierced, and a small scar through her top lip. She was wearing black boots covered by a pair of ripped, baggy, blue jeans and she wore a red t-shirt with a jacket over the top. She looked calm, until the girl in a skirt gave her a huge kiss on the cheek. Then she looked SCARED!
"Ok, guys this is Bee," Chilli said pointing at Bee, "Clare-bear," She continued pointing at the buck-toothed girl, "And AJ." She ended giving the most normal girl a quick peck on the cheek. Clare-bear walked up to Chilli and swung her arm over her shoulder,
"Where's mine?" Clare asked, and Chilli gave her a kiss on the tip of her nose.
Clare grinned, "I brought you your shoes." She said pointing down to her feet. Chilli looked down to see Clare wearing HER boots. CHILLI'S BLACK BOOTS!!!
"Thanks." Chilli said calmly.
"Your welcome," Clare said with another grin.
""You're wearing the BOXERS!!!" Chilli screamed at Bee in delight. Bee smiled and nodded energetically.
"Remember when I bought them?" She asked with a crazy tone in her voice.
"Yeah," Chilli laughed, "We put bubble-bath in the fountain!"
"And glue and cheesy puffs EVERYWHERE!"
"And went through McDonalds' drive-thru in a SHOPPING TROLLEY!"
They both burst out laughing as Tré, Billie and Mike demanded details.
***
[b]Chilli's POV
Billie Joe entered the room with the phone in his hand, talking happily away to Adrienne, who had been out of town for the past few days. He flopped lazily down onto the couch and continued his loving conversation with his wife.
"Ha ha! Phone sex." I said, grinning evilly at Billie Joe as he stuck his tongue out at me.
"What?...Oh... Hey do you want me to come pick you up and bring you over here?" Billie asked, resting his head in his palms.
I perked up, jumped over Mike who was lying on the floor talking to Bee quietly, and snatched the phone out of Billie's grip, "Yes! Say yes! Adie please say yes! Don't you DARE say no! Please say yes! They've been trying to murder me and-"
Billie Joe took the phone back again, glaring at me as I stomped back over to Tré and Mike, sitting down again.
"Right, ok, I'll come pick you up babe. Bye," Billie hung up and pulled his converses on, heading out the door swinging the car keys to his black SUV around on his index finger of his right hand.
About ten or fifteen minutes later, Adie ran through the door and plopped down next to me on the couch, pushing Tré away and grinning at me, "HI!!!"
"Hola! Can I have some?" I asked, also grinning wildly.
"Some what?" Adie asked with a confused expression.
"Whatever it is that you've been smoking," I said, smirking at Adie as she rolled her eyes and pushed me softly.
"Meanie," she mumbled, smiling as she walked over to Billie and sat in his lap. Billie smiled and hugged her tightly as Mike turned on the TV again.
"Beavis and Butthead!!!" The boys all squealed in delight at the same time, grinning as they become entranced by the TV show.
I smirked and stood up. I walked around to the back of the sofa and fell backwards onto it so that I was upside-down, leaning with my head on Tré's shoulder, as he was sitting on the ground, and picking at my chipped, black nail polish.
Adie shook her head, "And... just what is the point of this show?"
"To entertain mere monkey mortals." I answered with a laugh.
I actually really love this show, but right now, I just don't feel like watching it. Weird huh?
"Can I have some?" Adie mocked.
"No! It's my dope! My drugs! MINE! And you're not worthy to have it!" I said with a crazed expression.
"Bitch," Adie grumbled.
"Bastard," I muttered.
"Ass wipe."
"Fucktard."
"Slut whore!"
"Cunt!"
"Twat!"
"Turd burglar!"
"What the fuck is a 'turd burglar'?" Adie asked puzzled in a quiet voice.
"It is one who burgles turds." AJ said with a somber face as Clare, Bee and herself headed towards the front door. They had 'something important to do'... in other words, they were going to find some pot to smoke.
"Oh," Adie said, "Um... "
"HA! I WIN!" I shook my hands in the air victoriously, "In your FACE!!"
"Billie! Help me out here..." Adie said, poking her husband in the cheek.
Billie Joe shook his head dazedly, and continued to watch TV.
I groaned, rolled backwards off the couch, stood up and turned the TV off.
"How about we all do something different?" I proposed, "Besides having the guys entertain themselves by watching...themselves."
Adie giggled at this and nodded, her hair bouncing around as she stood.
"Ok then. What do you guys suggest?" Mike asked, tearing his eyes away from the blank screen and raising an eyebrow at us.
I smirked and looked over to Adie who grinned evilly.
"Shopping?" Adrienne suggested.
"NO!" The boys and I screamed together, all jolting up.
"Okay...you guys can think then," Adie said huffily, crossing her arms over her chest.
Tré smiled, snatched the remote out of my limp grip, turned the TV back on and continued to watch 'himself'. I rolled my eyes, growled in annoyance, and turned the TV around so it faced the wall.
"Now, let's all decide on something to do," I said, smiling at everyone.
Silence.
"SEX!!!" Mike yelled out suddenly. Billie and Tré and burst out laughing, Mike soon joined in.
I raised an eyebrow.
"Alright Adie... I guess we'll just have to just make ourselves disappear from existence all of a sudden." I said, shrugging as we walked out the door.
"DUDE!!! We were just- and they just- and now- we're just- FUCK!!!" Billie screamed, running out the house after Adie.
"What?! Were we and them and us and them again and us all together forever and...Mike! What did he say?!" Tré asked, completely and utterly confused.
"YOU... WERE... DUMPED," Mike said, loudly, slowly and clearly.
"Ohhhhh! Gotcha!' Tré said, nodding slowly and grinning at him, though still completely clueless. He settled back into the sofa and smiled dopily, watching TV again, even though he couldn't see the screen.
Ten minutes later, it all sunk in...
Tré's mind
(*Clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk, clu-*)
NO!!! Not his brain! His MIND!!!
Tré's ACTUAL mind
Dumped. Weird word. I wonder what it means...heh heh...cunt is a pretty cool word too.
Cunt cunt cunt cunt. Cunt cunt cunt cunt. Cunt cunt cunt cunt. Cunt cunt cunt cunt...CUNT! CUNT! CUNT! CUNT!! CUUUUUUNNNNTTTT!!!
Dumped. Ha ha. That's weird dude, cuz Chilli is my girlfriend and he said...dumped...hmmm... wait a- OH FUCK!!!
Normalness...whatever the fuck that is...
"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUUUUUCK!" Tré shouted, running to the door, crashing into it, jumping up, sprinting outside, and slamming the door shut behind him. Mike blinked.
"Oh...um... okay..." he said, shrugging, turning the TV around again to face him, and going back to Beavis and Butthead.
Meanwhile...
"Mmm...Adie..." Billie Joe moaned as Adrienne kissed his neck softly. Adie smiled slightly, pulling his shirt down a little so that his chest was visible. They were standing in an empty part of the street and Chilli was being grossed out of her mind.
"Oh fuck! EW! SICK! DISGUSTING! BILLIE PARTS!" Chilli whined loudly, covering her eyes and gagging, "How the fuck can you guys make up that fucking fast?!"
"Well...it's kinda easy when you corner your wife and beg her for forgiveness," Billie said, smirking at Chilli as Adie moved her lips around his neck and her hands along his chest. He ran his hands up and down her legs and across her ass with a wide grin on his face as her lips returned to his.
"Does that really work?" Tré asked from behind Chilli as he rested his hands on her shoulders.
"Nope," Chilli said, standing up off the upturned box, "Only on desperate, married sluts."
Adrienne stopped kissing Billie Joe for a moment, turned her head and opened her mouth to say something but then closed it again and giggled as Billie kissed the side of her neck.
Tré frowned as Chilli scowled and rolled her eyes at the PDA (Public Display of Affection), Tré decided to something to end the awkward silence, "What if I go-"
"No."
"How about if-"
"No."
"But I-"
"NO!" Chilli shouted, glaring at him and walking off.
Tré walked after her, sighing deeply.
"Of course... I get the stubborn one...the one with a fucking split personality...the one with a sexy ass and great boobs and amazing legs and- Shut up! You're not desperate!" Tré said, hitting himself in the head with his palm.
"You just keep on thinking that!" Chilli called from ahead of him.
"Hey! How did you-"
"I'm woman...perfect in every way," Chilli said, flipping him off as she walked, but not turning around to face him.
"Do you know everything?" Tré asked with an evil grin.
"Hell yes!" Chilli answered, still not turning as Tré picked up his pace.
"Do you know what I'm about to do?" Tré asked as he got closer.
"Die?" Chilli said sounding hopeful.
"No." Tré said, running and picking Chilli up. He lifted her in his arms, held her in front of him and grinned at her, raising his eyebrows pervertedly a few times at her.
"Put me the fuck down!" Chilli said, giving him an evil look.
"I think you're playing a little game of break-up," Tré said, still smiling as he walked towards his house, and slung her around so that she was on his back.
"No, I'm playing a game of-" Chilli smacked the back of his head and laughed evilly.
Tré grunted, and jumped so that Chilli bit her tongue. She sighed and frowned, trying to throw herself out of his grip and onto the ground as he kissed her hands softly.
"Keep trying!" Tré cooed with a grin. Seeing his house not too far away, he started running, Chilli clinging on for her life.
Kicking his door open, Tré entered the house.
"Ugh..." Chilli grumbled, going completely limp as he slid her around to his face again.
Tré smiled, walking into the living room, he playfully threw Chilli onto the spongy couch, smirking down at her.
"What?" Chilli asked, sitting up and crossing her arms over her chest with an angry look spread across her face.
Tré smiled cheekily as he sat down next to her, sliding his hands around her waist and stroking the tip his nose against hers, gazing into the soft, smooth violet of her eyes, "We haven't played this before, have we?"
Chilli glared and pulled away from Tré, "This isn't a game Tré."
"Oh, I think it is," Tré said, pressing his lips against Chilli's to silence her, as she was about to open her mouth to retort.
At first, Chilli was going to wrap her arms around him, but instead, pushed him away and glared.
"You think everything is a game Tré," she said grumpily, scooting away from him.
"Nu-uh!" Tré protested, crawling on top of her and pressing her down onto the couch.
"Uh-huh," Chilli said, trying to push him off.
Tré flopped down on top of her and smirked, "Nope."
"Music and sex Tré... they're the only things that you take seriously," Chilli mumbled, still trying to wriggle her way out from beneath him, "And even then you always fuck around."
"No! Well... maybe. Y'see, sex is a game, everything else is life," Tré said, running his hands up the front of Chilli's t-shirt.
Chilli rapped her knuckles sharply across his face (not very hard though, but still hard enough to hurt and leave a reddened mark) and Tré removed his hands.
"Touché," Tré said sitting up and rubbing his cheek.
"No 'touché'..." Chilli said, scooting farther away from him still, "I fucking hate French!"
Even though Chilli can speak almost every language in the world, and the Mainstreet's made-up one, she prefers English...or Spanish. Spanish is cool.
Tré rolled his eyes, pulling her firmly against his chest and kissing her forcefully.
Chilli smirked as she had a nasty idea for a trick, and pretended to burst out crying. Tré pulled away from her lips in an instant, hugging her tightly.
"No! Chilli...babe... I wasn't gonna rape you," Tré said quietly, holding Chilli close to his chest.
Chilli continued 'crying', but smiled evilly as she buried her face into his shoulder and 'sobbed'.
Tré frowned, now panicking, "Chilli... please... Hun, I wasn't gonna hurt you," he said softly, stroking her green and black hair.
"Fucker." Chilli muttered, laughing softly as she ran her fingers through his hair and down his slightly reddened cheek.
"Bitch!" Tré said, pushing her off as he realized that he had been tricked.
"Okay then. Bye bye." Chilli said, waving as she walked towards the door.
"No, no, no!!! Come back!" Tré said desperately, jumping up and running after Chilli and holding her back by wrapping his arms around her waist and dragging her towards the couch once more. He sat down, pulling Chilli into his lap again.
Chilli smiled, sighing deeply as she closed her eyes and laid her head against his chest, relaxing as she listened to the beat of his heart, he placed his hands on her hips and her head moved with the soft rise and fall of his steady breathing. The front door burst open. AJ, Clare, Bee, Mike and Billie entered the house.
"Hola Chill!" Clare said as Chilli fell to the floor in a pile of cheesy puffs and stared up at the ceiling.
"Forget it dudes," Chilli said as her friends looked at her expectantly, "I ain't got no more booze, and I'm not giving you ANY of my pot."
AJ pretended to cry as Billie, Adie and Mike laughed. AJ, Clare and Bee looked incredibly disappointed.
"Oi, Tré?" Chilli said, as she lay unmoving on the ground.
"What?" he asked staring at her.
"Why the fuck am I on the fucking floor and why are there fucking cheesy puffs fucking everywhere? WHAT THE FUCK!!!"
***
"Do you have any brothers or sisters or something or anything?" Billie Joe asked after he, Mike and Tré had heard some of the great pranks that had been pulled by AJ, Bee, Clare and Chilli, including the time that they broke into someone's house, wearing banana suits, and did the peanut butter jelly time dance.
"You mean family?" Tré said with a grin.
"That's the word!" Billie exclaimed with a proud expression.
"I've got a brother," Clare said looking sad, "He's not very well... calls a lot."
Her brother is in a hospital with 3rd degree burns after a fire at his work where their little brother and mother, who had been helping him out around the shop, had died. Clare's father died in a car crash. The surviving one's name is Charlie; he is extremely paranoid and calls her a lot with his many problems and frets.
"I used to have a brother. But he died. Just after my dad and before my mum." Added Bee, who Mike had just noticed, had the most amazing, vivid blue eyes, "Dad was crushed by the shearing shed; it collapsed on him. My brother died in the same crash as Clare's dad, and my mum was caught in a house fire." Bee said then laughed as Chilli slid off the couch and landed on the floor again.
She swore loudly as her head hit Mike's who was lying on the floor also. Mike grinned, and whispered in her ear as AJ told them about how she had a sister in England, but she died in a car accident involving a train, along with her mother and father. AJ was the only survivor.
"Is Bee The Jesus Of Suburbia?" Mike whispered.
Chilli looked at him and whispered back "You know?"
"I guessed." Mike explained.
Chilli smiled and told them all about her own family, "Three brothers, Nick, Michael and Fraser. I have no idea where they are or what they have been doing with their lives. Michael died six months after my mum. I haven't seen the other two since I was fourteen."
"What!?! Why?!" Billie asked sounding stunned. Chilli hadn't told them yet.
"My father... gave up on my life when I turned thirteen, then on Christmas Eve when I was fourteen, said he was going 'to the store'" Chilli made the little quotation marks with her fingers, "And never came back. My mum died on Boxing Day and I never saw my brothers after her funeral the next day. When Michael died at sea with his friends and sank with the boat. I lived on the streets, got depressed, turned to drugs, booze and theft to try and stop my pain... didn't really work... then Bee started her fighting clubby thingumabobby, of which I am proud to say I am the unbeaten champion!"
Bee grinned and gave Chilli a strong hug. Tré, Billie Joe and Mike sniggered. They still don't believe Chilli about the boxing thing.
"Then I started skateboarding, and surfing, and snowboarding and... shit," Chilli continued, "Then we started the whole Underbelly thing."
AJ smirked and said, "Tunny."
"Whatsername," came Clare-bear's voice from behind the couch as she searched for a packet of cheesy puffs.
"And I am Jebus. The greatest of EVERYONE!!!" Bee shouted proudly, deliberately mispronouncing the name.
"With one ring to rule them all!" AJ added dramatically. Everyone laughed.
"Oh, Bee, I probably should have asked earlier. How did that thing with Kayla turn out?" Chilli asked Bee as they stopped laughing and Clare pulled out a big packet of cheesy puffs from behind the sofa with a wide grin on her face.
"Kayla?" Mike muttered in a questioning tone.
"It was alright, but not really working, so we kinda decided to break it off." Bee explained.
"Break it off?" He repeated her, confused.
"Oh." Bee blushed, "I'm... er... bi."
"What!?!" Mike exclaimed in shock.
"AJ, Clare and Chilli are too!" she added desperately.
"Dude," Chilli said sounding very solemn, "I seriously hope that wasn't an attempt to sound normal." Everyone laughed again.
"You four are seriously weird." Billie said through laughs.
"That's cuz were Scottish." Chilli said proudly.
Tré stopped laughing, "I thought you were Australian."
"We are... but were Scottish too," Chilli explained, "I'm Scottish, Australian, Irish and Cornish."
"Wow." Is all that Billie could say.
"I'm Sri Lankan and English and... Scottish I think," AJ said.
"Don't get on her wrong side," Clare added.
"She's English royaltym," Bee explained.
"Or was a long time ago until her family fucked up and split," Chilli muttered.
AJ slapped Chilli around the back of the head.
Chilli gasped, "Oh your GOD! You idiot! You just hit me in the HEAD!"
AJ looked confused, "Wha?"
"Don't you know you should never hit a person...in the HEAD!?" AJ started to look very guilty as Chilli lectured her about how you shouldn't hit a person in the head, finishing very loudly with, "BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE YOUR BRAIN IS!!"
AJ smirked nastily, "So... nothing much for you then?"
Chilli stuck her tongue out and rested her chin on Tré's shoulder, searching for sympathy.
"So what about you Bee?" Mike asked.
"I don't even know anymore!... I think I'm the same as Chilli... except without the Cornish. And Clare's the same as me cuz we're second cousins."
"OW!!! FUCK!!!" A voice yelled unexpectedly.
Everyone stared at the source of the sudden cry. It was Tré who was rubbing his shoulder, "What the fuck was that for?" he asked Chilli in distress.
"I was hungry," Chilli said, looking very guilty, but pleased with herself.
"You didn't have to bite me!" Tré shouted.
He pulled up the sleeve of his t-shirt and stared in shock at the teeth-marks embedded in his skin. Billie Joe and Mike started laughing. Chilli flashed a trademark guilty grin and Tré laughed, before he went back to being angry, shocked and upset.
"And that is what you get from the Scottish," Bee said proudly as she handed Chilli a five dollar note and patted her head.
"Yeah! We're Scottish and proud!" Clare said as she grinned at Chilli, who was now receiving evil glares from Tré, who was rubbing his shoulder and scowling.
"That's why we don't tan very well." AJ said.
Chilli pulled up her shirt sleeve, Clare, AJ and Bee all did the same.
"See that?" Bee said pointing to their arms.
"That is our natural skin-tone," AJ said.
The men laughed.
"We're a sorta pale blue colour," Chilli added.
They laughed harder.
"It takes us at least a week of tanning to get white," Clare finished.
By this point the men were in hysterics. The girls couldn't figure out why... then they realized that they were all talking in Scottish accents.
Chilli suddenly suggested, "Why don't we go to Billie's house?" Cuz Billie's house was just across the road from Mike, and down the street from Tré, "C'mon dudes, we're outta beer and I'm not sharing my drugs with anyone."
Because of that, they agreed and wandered across the road. Chilli looked back as Tré but his arm around her. Billie Joe was talking to AJ and Mike was deep in serious conversation with Bee about coffee.
"Hey," Tré's voice came as he and Chilli entered Billie's house, which is pretty big cuz Joey wanted, and I quote, 'to live in a place where he could have personal space'... or in other words to show off.
Chilli's thoughts
Joey's a little brat... he's like his father. I hope I'll NEVER be like mine. I'd rather die!... I'd rather die anyway.
My life is fucked up and so is my mind. That's why I do the things I do, that's why I try to kill myself. My spirit is broken and there's nothing I can do to fix it. I've got abandonment issues and kleptomania too, so that REALLY doesn't help. Y'see, all my life, I've been considered a 'problem child'. I got kicked out of schools, abused, abandoned, jailed, raped, the list goes on, and when these things happen to someone, they can't just shake it off, forget it. These events and emotions leave scars on you for eternity, even if they may not be plain at a first glance, they are still there, and sometimes, they are still open and bleeding.
Normalness... or something...
"Hey." Chilli replied quietly, her mind adrift with thought.
"Whatcha thinking 'bout?" Tré asked kissing her on the cheek.
"Life." Chilli said slowly.
"That's boring, let's smoke lettuce." Tré suggested.
Chilli laughed, "Alright then."
Chilli and Tré headed into the kitchen and opened the fridge door.
"Lettuce, lettuce, where the fuck is the goddamn fucking lettuce?" Tré said moving things around the shelves.
Chilli sighed, shoved him out of the way, and opened the vegetable crisper.
"Oh." Tré said quietly.
They got some foil and made two pipes, stuffing lettuce inside both.
"You got any matches?" Tré asked Chilli hopefully.
Chilli pulled a lighter out of her pocket. It's got the American flag on it, but it's torn and a murky green and got a BIG skull on it instead. She always carries that lighter. She got it from Michael before he died. Chilli likes to burn things. She's special... heh heh... special... heh heh... special brownies...
Mike and Bee were making out on the couch when Chilli and Tré entered.
"Oh my, look look look look LOOOOK!!" Clare said excitedly in a retarded voice as she too walked into the room with Adie, Billie and AJ. Mike looked around guiltily and Bee blushed.
"God! Get a room you two!" AJ said with a laugh.
"We're in a room," Bee's responded feeling slightly humiliated that her friends had caught her getting close with someone so soon after she had rushed into things, and fallen out, with-
"Oh." Chilli said with a crestfallen look on her face, then quickly brightened up and added with a laugh, "Then lose some weight!"
*5 minutes later*
Clare and Billie Joe are rolling on the floor laughing at, and I quote, in their exact words, 'That dog has somebody's ham!'. AJ and Adie are giggling uncontrollably because Billie just whacked his head against Clare's and they both started swearing and fighting about what kind of jellybeans are the best (it's the black ones... OK?!), Joey is screaming as Jakob chases him with an armful of frogs, and Mike and Bee have gone 'out'.
Tré and Chilli are smoking their lettuce on the balcony, and something is troubling him.
"What's wrong?" Chilli asks the bothered drummer.
"Will you move in with me?!" He says hastily.
"What?"
"Will you move in with me?" He repeats slower.
"Hell yeah!"
At these words he grins and pulls Chilli onto his lap, nuzzling into her neck, "I love you."
"Oooh," Clare grins from the doorway, "How long has this been going on then Chilli-Jim?"
"Shut up Clarely Bearely!" Chilli says as Tré kisses the side of her neck.
"NEVER!!!" Clare shouts loudly.
"Please?" Chilli asks in a small tone. Clare laughs and gives Chilli a kiss on the cheek.
"Why do you do that?" Asks Tré, confused at their strange affection as 'just friends'.
"We're SPECIAL!" Chilli declares in a retarded voice.
"We love each other!" Adds Clare. She's not really helping.
"We're WEIRD!" Yells AJ from inside (thank you), "It's our thang!"
"Ok then." Tré takes his pipe from his mouth and kisses Chilli on the nose.
"I love you." She tells him, "Let me explain how this works. I am Lord of the Pimps! Clare is my girlfriend," Clare grinned proudly, "AJ is my Make-Out Queen," AJ shouts 'Yay!' from inside, "And Bee is my Sex-Slave." Tré laughs, "Wait," Chilli stopped smiling and yelled at AJ, who's now stumbling towards Clare with a half empty (or maybe it's half full?... meh) beer bottle in her hands, "Did you just say 'thang'?"
*3 hours later*
Mike's POV
I snuck through the door, desperate not to be noticed.
"Hey there Mikey!"
Fuck. I turned around. Billie, Chilli and Tré were all standing there, grinning like lunatics.
"How did the date go?" Billie asked amused.
"Er... Fine, good. Hey! It was NOT a date!" I stuttered.
"Didja get laid?" Tré asked interested. Not really. Tré was just being Tré.
"Did you kiss her?" Billie asked, teasing me.
"Oooh, Mikey! What's all this?" Chilli said. Fuck, "You never blush." She grinned evilly. Ok. Shit. I'm doomed.
"I'm not blushing!" I retorted pathetically and turned away. I can hear Billie sniggering.
"Miiiiiiiiiiiike, why are you smiling?" Tré asked.
"I'm not smiling... " I said, struggling to keep a straight face.
"You love her!" Chilli suddenly said with an evil laugh.
"Mikey's in love, Mikey's in love... " They chanted over and over again. Bastards.
"I WIN!" Chilli shouted suddenly.
Billie and Tré stopped singing, sighed, and handed her two, crisp, fifty-dollar bills.
"You were betting on me?" I ask astounded.
"I could see it coming." Chilli retorts as she stuffs the notes into her wallet, and shoves it in her back pocket, "Come on man! You were practically drooling over her!"
She does an impression. Billie and Tré laugh hysterically.
Bastards.
Chilli looked down at the table she was resting her feet upon before staring around the room. There was a beer bottle in her hand. She lifted it to her mouth. Fuck. Empty. Fuck.
"Anyone want another beer?" she asked the guys, who didn't take their eyes from the TV. Futurama was on. Yay.
"Yeah, sure." Came the distant reply from the three men. Chilli stood and walked into Mike's kitchen.
"She's hot, man." Billie Joe said as soon as Chilli was out of the room. Yeah, the Screwtape thing died down. They're too lazy to remember nicknames longer than six letters. Pathetic, I know. Oh well...
"Too bad dude. You're married," Tré said smugly.
"Ha! And that means you've got a chance with her does it Tré? In your dreams man!" Mike said doubtingly. Chilli walked back into the room with four beer bottles cradled in her arms. She had heard every word from the kitchen...well, they weren't exactly...quiet...about what they were saying.
Chilli quietly snuck up behind Billie Joe, who was sitting on a chair with his back to her. She lifted one of the bottles in one hand, took careful aim, and dropped it into his lap. He smiled at it and muttered his thanks without facing her. She grinned mischievously, placed the other three bottles on the floor and silently ran her arms down the sides of the chair, up his arms, rubbed his shoulders softly for a moment, and stroked her fingers across his warm chest. Mike and Tré were grinning as Billie Joe started to look more and more seduced.
Chilli kissed him softly on the cheek and behind the ear, he moaned and seemed to melt as Chilli leant over, kissed his lips, his neck, his cheek, his neck again, then moved her mouth back up, and murmured softly in his ear as her hands glided up his chest, past his neck and over his cheeks.
"The ponies'll kill you."
Billie shot straight up and stared at Chilli as Tré and Mike burst out laughing.
"You've been watching that 'Haunted' episode I'm in haven't you?" He asked looking totally freaked out as she nodded, handed two bottles to Mike and Tré, who were still laughing at what had just happened, and sat down on the sofa next to the drummer with her own.
They eventually stopped laughing and returned to the TV. Bender was high. No surprises there. Bender and Chilli have a lot in common, like they're obnoxious... very obnoxious! Same with Fry and her: they're both retards. Yay. Heh heh.
Chilli glimpsed over at Tré and saw the look in his ocean-like eyes. She leant over and gave him a massive kiss on the lips. Chilli peeked at Billie Joe and Mike who watching with their jaws dropped.
"What the..?" Billie Joe gaped.
"Merry Christmas," Chilli said randomly.
It's a thing she and her friends do. They always greet, farewell, or answer people with a happy/merry/have a good <insert holiday>. It pisses people off cuz they get confused.
"Whoa. Are you two... ?" Mike began bewildered.
Tré and Chilli nodded slowly with massive grins on their faces. Billie smirked. It looked kinda forced to be honest.
"Cool. You do realize that I'm gonna give you some serious shit for this right?" he said smiling evilly. Chilli nodded and, once again, pretended to look sad. Just then, her phone rang.
"Ah hi, it's your phone," the ring tone said in a patronizing voice, "Um... yeah, kinda, um, kinda ringing here, like, perhaps, well, someone wants to talk to you, or, just thought maybe, I dunno, maybe you might wanna answer it?"
Tré laughed and snorted causing Billie and Mike to crack up. Chilli answered her phone, trying desperately not to die from laughter.
"H-Hello?" she chuckled.
"Hi there dumb-bum!" Shouted the voice through from other end.
"HI BUZZ-BEE!!!" Chilli yelled down the phone at the top of her voice. Bee had been one of her best friends since they were in the sixth grade along with AJ who was also there, and Clare who had joined the gang in the seventh. They are very close.
"Guess what?" Bee said in a high-pitched, excited squeal.
"You're in Oakland?" Chilli asked in the same voice.
"How didja know?" Bee said in her normal tone, sounding sad and puzzled.
"I ALWAYS know, man."
"Dammit!"
"Come over," Chilli said as Tré wrapped his arm around her waist and listened to the conversation. Billie and Mike were also listening in intently.
"Where are you?" Bee asked.
Chilli gave her Mike's address and Bee was over in less than five minutes with a surprise. Chilli opened the door and two people threw themselves onto her, hugging her. She lurched backwards, but didn't fall as a third person yanked her into their arms.
"Hi," Chilli gasped.
"Hi," they all said as they squeezed the air out of Chilli's lungs.
The guys came into view to see Chilli being crushed by the affection of her three best friends in the whole wide world.
"Yeah!" Billie joked with enthusiasm, "Finally some girl on girl action!"
"Help me!" Chilli said in a small voice.
"Place your bets. Place your bets here!" Tré joked, "Chilli's odds are going down!"
Chilli pouted, "That's not very nice."
"Oh. I'm sowwy," he said in a baby voice as he made puppy dog eyes.
"So you should be," Bee said.
Mike stared at her. Bee had medium length dark purple hair with random blonde streaks, and her nose was pierced, so were her ears (I would never be able to do that to my nose. It's my nose. What did it ever do to me?). She was wearing green necklace, bright red jeans with a pair of boxer shorts over the top bearing the pattern of the Australian flag, and a green billabong t-shirt. She seemed relaxed. Definitely not as hyper as Chilli, Tré, or another girl who was also there. That girl had random multicolored streaks with black tips all through her short hair, so you couldn't tell what colour it really was, buckteeth, and her eyebrow pierced. She was dressed in a pink and black t-shirt, a short, black, denim skirt and a pair of long, colorful, knee-high, striped socks, poking over the top of a pair of tall, black, lace-up boots. She was grinning and laughing like a lunatic.
Mike turned his attention back to Bee to admire her some. She was so beautiful.
Billie Joe noticed the third girl in the room. She seemed to be the most relaxed and normal of the lot, but he knew there had to be some sort of catch. She had just longer than shoulder length light brown hair and freckles spread cutely across her nose. She had her ears pierced, and a small scar through her top lip. She was wearing black boots covered by a pair of ripped, baggy, blue jeans and she wore a red t-shirt with a jacket over the top. She looked calm, until the girl in a skirt gave her a huge kiss on the cheek. Then she looked SCARED!
"Ok, guys this is Bee," Chilli said pointing at Bee, "Clare-bear," She continued pointing at the buck-toothed girl, "And AJ." She ended giving the most normal girl a quick peck on the cheek. Clare-bear walked up to Chilli and swung her arm over her shoulder,
"Where's mine?" Clare asked, and Chilli gave her a kiss on the tip of her nose.
Clare grinned, "I brought you your shoes." She said pointing down to her feet. Chilli looked down to see Clare wearing HER boots. CHILLI'S BLACK BOOTS!!!
"Thanks." Chilli said calmly.
"Your welcome," Clare said with another grin.
""You're wearing the BOXERS!!!" Chilli screamed at Bee in delight. Bee smiled and nodded energetically.
"Remember when I bought them?" She asked with a crazy tone in her voice.
"Yeah," Chilli laughed, "We put bubble-bath in the fountain!"
"And glue and cheesy puffs EVERYWHERE!"
"And went through McDonalds' drive-thru in a SHOPPING TROLLEY!"
They both burst out laughing as Tré, Billie and Mike demanded details.
***
[b]Chilli's POV
Billie Joe entered the room with the phone in his hand, talking happily away to Adrienne, who had been out of town for the past few days. He flopped lazily down onto the couch and continued his loving conversation with his wife.
"Ha ha! Phone sex." I said, grinning evilly at Billie Joe as he stuck his tongue out at me.
"What?...Oh... Hey do you want me to come pick you up and bring you over here?" Billie asked, resting his head in his palms.
I perked up, jumped over Mike who was lying on the floor talking to Bee quietly, and snatched the phone out of Billie's grip, "Yes! Say yes! Adie please say yes! Don't you DARE say no! Please say yes! They've been trying to murder me and-"
Billie Joe took the phone back again, glaring at me as I stomped back over to Tré and Mike, sitting down again.
"Right, ok, I'll come pick you up babe. Bye," Billie hung up and pulled his converses on, heading out the door swinging the car keys to his black SUV around on his index finger of his right hand.
About ten or fifteen minutes later, Adie ran through the door and plopped down next to me on the couch, pushing Tré away and grinning at me, "HI!!!"
"Hola! Can I have some?" I asked, also grinning wildly.
"Some what?" Adie asked with a confused expression.
"Whatever it is that you've been smoking," I said, smirking at Adie as she rolled her eyes and pushed me softly.
"Meanie," she mumbled, smiling as she walked over to Billie and sat in his lap. Billie smiled and hugged her tightly as Mike turned on the TV again.
"Beavis and Butthead!!!" The boys all squealed in delight at the same time, grinning as they become entranced by the TV show.
I smirked and stood up. I walked around to the back of the sofa and fell backwards onto it so that I was upside-down, leaning with my head on Tré's shoulder, as he was sitting on the ground, and picking at my chipped, black nail polish.
Adie shook her head, "And... just what is the point of this show?"
"To entertain mere monkey mortals." I answered with a laugh.
I actually really love this show, but right now, I just don't feel like watching it. Weird huh?
"Can I have some?" Adie mocked.
"No! It's my dope! My drugs! MINE! And you're not worthy to have it!" I said with a crazed expression.
"Bitch," Adie grumbled.
"Bastard," I muttered.
"Ass wipe."
"Fucktard."
"Slut whore!"
"Cunt!"
"Twat!"
"Turd burglar!"
"What the fuck is a 'turd burglar'?" Adie asked puzzled in a quiet voice.
"It is one who burgles turds." AJ said with a somber face as Clare, Bee and herself headed towards the front door. They had 'something important to do'... in other words, they were going to find some pot to smoke.
"Oh," Adie said, "Um... "
"HA! I WIN!" I shook my hands in the air victoriously, "In your FACE!!"
"Billie! Help me out here..." Adie said, poking her husband in the cheek.
Billie Joe shook his head dazedly, and continued to watch TV.
I groaned, rolled backwards off the couch, stood up and turned the TV off.
"How about we all do something different?" I proposed, "Besides having the guys entertain themselves by watching...themselves."
Adie giggled at this and nodded, her hair bouncing around as she stood.
"Ok then. What do you guys suggest?" Mike asked, tearing his eyes away from the blank screen and raising an eyebrow at us.
I smirked and looked over to Adie who grinned evilly.
"Shopping?" Adrienne suggested.
"NO!" The boys and I screamed together, all jolting up.
"Okay...you guys can think then," Adie said huffily, crossing her arms over her chest.
Tré smiled, snatched the remote out of my limp grip, turned the TV back on and continued to watch 'himself'. I rolled my eyes, growled in annoyance, and turned the TV around so it faced the wall.
"Now, let's all decide on something to do," I said, smiling at everyone.
Silence.
"SEX!!!" Mike yelled out suddenly. Billie and Tré and burst out laughing, Mike soon joined in.
I raised an eyebrow.
"Alright Adie... I guess we'll just have to just make ourselves disappear from existence all of a sudden." I said, shrugging as we walked out the door.
"DUDE!!! We were just- and they just- and now- we're just- FUCK!!!" Billie screamed, running out the house after Adie.
"What?! Were we and them and us and them again and us all together forever and...Mike! What did he say?!" Tré asked, completely and utterly confused.
"YOU... WERE... DUMPED," Mike said, loudly, slowly and clearly.
"Ohhhhh! Gotcha!' Tré said, nodding slowly and grinning at him, though still completely clueless. He settled back into the sofa and smiled dopily, watching TV again, even though he couldn't see the screen.
Ten minutes later, it all sunk in...
Tré's mind
(*Clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk, clu-*)
NO!!! Not his brain! His MIND!!!
Tré's ACTUAL mind
Dumped. Weird word. I wonder what it means...heh heh...cunt is a pretty cool word too.
Cunt cunt cunt cunt. Cunt cunt cunt cunt. Cunt cunt cunt cunt. Cunt cunt cunt cunt...CUNT! CUNT! CUNT! CUNT!! CUUUUUUNNNNTTTT!!!
Dumped. Ha ha. That's weird dude, cuz Chilli is my girlfriend and he said...dumped...hmmm... wait a- OH FUCK!!!
Normalness...whatever the fuck that is...
"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUUUUUCK!" Tré shouted, running to the door, crashing into it, jumping up, sprinting outside, and slamming the door shut behind him. Mike blinked.
"Oh...um... okay..." he said, shrugging, turning the TV around again to face him, and going back to Beavis and Butthead.
Meanwhile...
"Mmm...Adie..." Billie Joe moaned as Adrienne kissed his neck softly. Adie smiled slightly, pulling his shirt down a little so that his chest was visible. They were standing in an empty part of the street and Chilli was being grossed out of her mind.
"Oh fuck! EW! SICK! DISGUSTING! BILLIE PARTS!" Chilli whined loudly, covering her eyes and gagging, "How the fuck can you guys make up that fucking fast?!"
"Well...it's kinda easy when you corner your wife and beg her for forgiveness," Billie said, smirking at Chilli as Adie moved her lips around his neck and her hands along his chest. He ran his hands up and down her legs and across her ass with a wide grin on his face as her lips returned to his.
"Does that really work?" Tré asked from behind Chilli as he rested his hands on her shoulders.
"Nope," Chilli said, standing up off the upturned box, "Only on desperate, married sluts."
Adrienne stopped kissing Billie Joe for a moment, turned her head and opened her mouth to say something but then closed it again and giggled as Billie kissed the side of her neck.
Tré frowned as Chilli scowled and rolled her eyes at the PDA (Public Display of Affection), Tré decided to something to end the awkward silence, "What if I go-"
"No."
"How about if-"
"No."
"But I-"
"NO!" Chilli shouted, glaring at him and walking off.
Tré walked after her, sighing deeply.
"Of course... I get the stubborn one...the one with a fucking split personality...the one with a sexy ass and great boobs and amazing legs and- Shut up! You're not desperate!" Tré said, hitting himself in the head with his palm.
"You just keep on thinking that!" Chilli called from ahead of him.
"Hey! How did you-"
"I'm woman...perfect in every way," Chilli said, flipping him off as she walked, but not turning around to face him.
"Do you know everything?" Tré asked with an evil grin.
"Hell yes!" Chilli answered, still not turning as Tré picked up his pace.
"Do you know what I'm about to do?" Tré asked as he got closer.
"Die?" Chilli said sounding hopeful.
"No." Tré said, running and picking Chilli up. He lifted her in his arms, held her in front of him and grinned at her, raising his eyebrows pervertedly a few times at her.
"Put me the fuck down!" Chilli said, giving him an evil look.
"I think you're playing a little game of break-up," Tré said, still smiling as he walked towards his house, and slung her around so that she was on his back.
"No, I'm playing a game of-" Chilli smacked the back of his head and laughed evilly.
Tré grunted, and jumped so that Chilli bit her tongue. She sighed and frowned, trying to throw herself out of his grip and onto the ground as he kissed her hands softly.
"Keep trying!" Tré cooed with a grin. Seeing his house not too far away, he started running, Chilli clinging on for her life.
Kicking his door open, Tré entered the house.
"Ugh..." Chilli grumbled, going completely limp as he slid her around to his face again.
Tré smiled, walking into the living room, he playfully threw Chilli onto the spongy couch, smirking down at her.
"What?" Chilli asked, sitting up and crossing her arms over her chest with an angry look spread across her face.
Tré smiled cheekily as he sat down next to her, sliding his hands around her waist and stroking the tip his nose against hers, gazing into the soft, smooth violet of her eyes, "We haven't played this before, have we?"
Chilli glared and pulled away from Tré, "This isn't a game Tré."
"Oh, I think it is," Tré said, pressing his lips against Chilli's to silence her, as she was about to open her mouth to retort.
At first, Chilli was going to wrap her arms around him, but instead, pushed him away and glared.
"You think everything is a game Tré," she said grumpily, scooting away from him.
"Nu-uh!" Tré protested, crawling on top of her and pressing her down onto the couch.
"Uh-huh," Chilli said, trying to push him off.
Tré flopped down on top of her and smirked, "Nope."
"Music and sex Tré... they're the only things that you take seriously," Chilli mumbled, still trying to wriggle her way out from beneath him, "And even then you always fuck around."
"No! Well... maybe. Y'see, sex is a game, everything else is life," Tré said, running his hands up the front of Chilli's t-shirt.
Chilli rapped her knuckles sharply across his face (not very hard though, but still hard enough to hurt and leave a reddened mark) and Tré removed his hands.
"Touché," Tré said sitting up and rubbing his cheek.
"No 'touché'..." Chilli said, scooting farther away from him still, "I fucking hate French!"
Even though Chilli can speak almost every language in the world, and the Mainstreet's made-up one, she prefers English...or Spanish. Spanish is cool.
Tré rolled his eyes, pulling her firmly against his chest and kissing her forcefully.
Chilli smirked as she had a nasty idea for a trick, and pretended to burst out crying. Tré pulled away from her lips in an instant, hugging her tightly.
"No! Chilli...babe... I wasn't gonna rape you," Tré said quietly, holding Chilli close to his chest.
Chilli continued 'crying', but smiled evilly as she buried her face into his shoulder and 'sobbed'.
Tré frowned, now panicking, "Chilli... please... Hun, I wasn't gonna hurt you," he said softly, stroking her green and black hair.
"Fucker." Chilli muttered, laughing softly as she ran her fingers through his hair and down his slightly reddened cheek.
"Bitch!" Tré said, pushing her off as he realized that he had been tricked.
"Okay then. Bye bye." Chilli said, waving as she walked towards the door.
"No, no, no!!! Come back!" Tré said desperately, jumping up and running after Chilli and holding her back by wrapping his arms around her waist and dragging her towards the couch once more. He sat down, pulling Chilli into his lap again.
Chilli smiled, sighing deeply as she closed her eyes and laid her head against his chest, relaxing as she listened to the beat of his heart, he placed his hands on her hips and her head moved with the soft rise and fall of his steady breathing. The front door burst open. AJ, Clare, Bee, Mike and Billie entered the house.
"Hola Chill!" Clare said as Chilli fell to the floor in a pile of cheesy puffs and stared up at the ceiling.
"Forget it dudes," Chilli said as her friends looked at her expectantly, "I ain't got no more booze, and I'm not giving you ANY of my pot."
AJ pretended to cry as Billie, Adie and Mike laughed. AJ, Clare and Bee looked incredibly disappointed.
"Oi, Tré?" Chilli said, as she lay unmoving on the ground.
"What?" he asked staring at her.
"Why the fuck am I on the fucking floor and why are there fucking cheesy puffs fucking everywhere? WHAT THE FUCK!!!"
***
"Do you have any brothers or sisters or something or anything?" Billie Joe asked after he, Mike and Tré had heard some of the great pranks that had been pulled by AJ, Bee, Clare and Chilli, including the time that they broke into someone's house, wearing banana suits, and did the peanut butter jelly time dance.
"You mean family?" Tré said with a grin.
"That's the word!" Billie exclaimed with a proud expression.
"I've got a brother," Clare said looking sad, "He's not very well... calls a lot."
Her brother is in a hospital with 3rd degree burns after a fire at his work where their little brother and mother, who had been helping him out around the shop, had died. Clare's father died in a car crash. The surviving one's name is Charlie; he is extremely paranoid and calls her a lot with his many problems and frets.
"I used to have a brother. But he died. Just after my dad and before my mum." Added Bee, who Mike had just noticed, had the most amazing, vivid blue eyes, "Dad was crushed by the shearing shed; it collapsed on him. My brother died in the same crash as Clare's dad, and my mum was caught in a house fire." Bee said then laughed as Chilli slid off the couch and landed on the floor again.
She swore loudly as her head hit Mike's who was lying on the floor also. Mike grinned, and whispered in her ear as AJ told them about how she had a sister in England, but she died in a car accident involving a train, along with her mother and father. AJ was the only survivor.
"Is Bee The Jesus Of Suburbia?" Mike whispered.
Chilli looked at him and whispered back "You know?"
"I guessed." Mike explained.
Chilli smiled and told them all about her own family, "Three brothers, Nick, Michael and Fraser. I have no idea where they are or what they have been doing with their lives. Michael died six months after my mum. I haven't seen the other two since I was fourteen."
"What!?! Why?!" Billie asked sounding stunned. Chilli hadn't told them yet.
"My father... gave up on my life when I turned thirteen, then on Christmas Eve when I was fourteen, said he was going 'to the store'" Chilli made the little quotation marks with her fingers, "And never came back. My mum died on Boxing Day and I never saw my brothers after her funeral the next day. When Michael died at sea with his friends and sank with the boat. I lived on the streets, got depressed, turned to drugs, booze and theft to try and stop my pain... didn't really work... then Bee started her fighting clubby thingumabobby, of which I am proud to say I am the unbeaten champion!"
Bee grinned and gave Chilli a strong hug. Tré, Billie Joe and Mike sniggered. They still don't believe Chilli about the boxing thing.
"Then I started skateboarding, and surfing, and snowboarding and... shit," Chilli continued, "Then we started the whole Underbelly thing."
AJ smirked and said, "Tunny."
"Whatsername," came Clare-bear's voice from behind the couch as she searched for a packet of cheesy puffs.
"And I am Jebus. The greatest of EVERYONE!!!" Bee shouted proudly, deliberately mispronouncing the name.
"With one ring to rule them all!" AJ added dramatically. Everyone laughed.
"Oh, Bee, I probably should have asked earlier. How did that thing with Kayla turn out?" Chilli asked Bee as they stopped laughing and Clare pulled out a big packet of cheesy puffs from behind the sofa with a wide grin on her face.
"Kayla?" Mike muttered in a questioning tone.
"It was alright, but not really working, so we kinda decided to break it off." Bee explained.
"Break it off?" He repeated her, confused.
"Oh." Bee blushed, "I'm... er... bi."
"What!?!" Mike exclaimed in shock.
"AJ, Clare and Chilli are too!" she added desperately.
"Dude," Chilli said sounding very solemn, "I seriously hope that wasn't an attempt to sound normal." Everyone laughed again.
"You four are seriously weird." Billie said through laughs.
"That's cuz were Scottish." Chilli said proudly.
Tré stopped laughing, "I thought you were Australian."
"We are... but were Scottish too," Chilli explained, "I'm Scottish, Australian, Irish and Cornish."
"Wow." Is all that Billie could say.
"I'm Sri Lankan and English and... Scottish I think," AJ said.
"Don't get on her wrong side," Clare added.
"She's English royaltym," Bee explained.
"Or was a long time ago until her family fucked up and split," Chilli muttered.
AJ slapped Chilli around the back of the head.
Chilli gasped, "Oh your GOD! You idiot! You just hit me in the HEAD!"
AJ looked confused, "Wha?"
"Don't you know you should never hit a person...in the HEAD!?" AJ started to look very guilty as Chilli lectured her about how you shouldn't hit a person in the head, finishing very loudly with, "BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE YOUR BRAIN IS!!"
AJ smirked nastily, "So... nothing much for you then?"
Chilli stuck her tongue out and rested her chin on Tré's shoulder, searching for sympathy.
"So what about you Bee?" Mike asked.
"I don't even know anymore!... I think I'm the same as Chilli... except without the Cornish. And Clare's the same as me cuz we're second cousins."
"OW!!! FUCK!!!" A voice yelled unexpectedly.
Everyone stared at the source of the sudden cry. It was Tré who was rubbing his shoulder, "What the fuck was that for?" he asked Chilli in distress.
"I was hungry," Chilli said, looking very guilty, but pleased with herself.
"You didn't have to bite me!" Tré shouted.
He pulled up the sleeve of his t-shirt and stared in shock at the teeth-marks embedded in his skin. Billie Joe and Mike started laughing. Chilli flashed a trademark guilty grin and Tré laughed, before he went back to being angry, shocked and upset.
"And that is what you get from the Scottish," Bee said proudly as she handed Chilli a five dollar note and patted her head.
"Yeah! We're Scottish and proud!" Clare said as she grinned at Chilli, who was now receiving evil glares from Tré, who was rubbing his shoulder and scowling.
"That's why we don't tan very well." AJ said.
Chilli pulled up her shirt sleeve, Clare, AJ and Bee all did the same.
"See that?" Bee said pointing to their arms.
"That is our natural skin-tone," AJ said.
The men laughed.
"We're a sorta pale blue colour," Chilli added.
They laughed harder.
"It takes us at least a week of tanning to get white," Clare finished.
By this point the men were in hysterics. The girls couldn't figure out why... then they realized that they were all talking in Scottish accents.
Chilli suddenly suggested, "Why don't we go to Billie's house?" Cuz Billie's house was just across the road from Mike, and down the street from Tré, "C'mon dudes, we're outta beer and I'm not sharing my drugs with anyone."
Because of that, they agreed and wandered across the road. Chilli looked back as Tré but his arm around her. Billie Joe was talking to AJ and Mike was deep in serious conversation with Bee about coffee.
"Hey," Tré's voice came as he and Chilli entered Billie's house, which is pretty big cuz Joey wanted, and I quote, 'to live in a place where he could have personal space'... or in other words to show off.
Chilli's thoughts
Joey's a little brat... he's like his father. I hope I'll NEVER be like mine. I'd rather die!... I'd rather die anyway.
My life is fucked up and so is my mind. That's why I do the things I do, that's why I try to kill myself. My spirit is broken and there's nothing I can do to fix it. I've got abandonment issues and kleptomania too, so that REALLY doesn't help. Y'see, all my life, I've been considered a 'problem child'. I got kicked out of schools, abused, abandoned, jailed, raped, the list goes on, and when these things happen to someone, they can't just shake it off, forget it. These events and emotions leave scars on you for eternity, even if they may not be plain at a first glance, they are still there, and sometimes, they are still open and bleeding.
Normalness... or something...
"Hey." Chilli replied quietly, her mind adrift with thought.
"Whatcha thinking 'bout?" Tré asked kissing her on the cheek.
"Life." Chilli said slowly.
"That's boring, let's smoke lettuce." Tré suggested.
Chilli laughed, "Alright then."
Chilli and Tré headed into the kitchen and opened the fridge door.
"Lettuce, lettuce, where the fuck is the goddamn fucking lettuce?" Tré said moving things around the shelves.
Chilli sighed, shoved him out of the way, and opened the vegetable crisper.
"Oh." Tré said quietly.
They got some foil and made two pipes, stuffing lettuce inside both.
"You got any matches?" Tré asked Chilli hopefully.
Chilli pulled a lighter out of her pocket. It's got the American flag on it, but it's torn and a murky green and got a BIG skull on it instead. She always carries that lighter. She got it from Michael before he died. Chilli likes to burn things. She's special... heh heh... special... heh heh... special brownies...
Mike and Bee were making out on the couch when Chilli and Tré entered.
"Oh my, look look look look LOOOOK!!" Clare said excitedly in a retarded voice as she too walked into the room with Adie, Billie and AJ. Mike looked around guiltily and Bee blushed.
"God! Get a room you two!" AJ said with a laugh.
"We're in a room," Bee's responded feeling slightly humiliated that her friends had caught her getting close with someone so soon after she had rushed into things, and fallen out, with-
"Oh." Chilli said with a crestfallen look on her face, then quickly brightened up and added with a laugh, "Then lose some weight!"
*5 minutes later*
Clare and Billie Joe are rolling on the floor laughing at, and I quote, in their exact words, 'That dog has somebody's ham!'. AJ and Adie are giggling uncontrollably because Billie just whacked his head against Clare's and they both started swearing and fighting about what kind of jellybeans are the best (it's the black ones... OK?!), Joey is screaming as Jakob chases him with an armful of frogs, and Mike and Bee have gone 'out'.
Tré and Chilli are smoking their lettuce on the balcony, and something is troubling him.
"What's wrong?" Chilli asks the bothered drummer.
"Will you move in with me?!" He says hastily.
"What?"
"Will you move in with me?" He repeats slower.
"Hell yeah!"
At these words he grins and pulls Chilli onto his lap, nuzzling into her neck, "I love you."
"Oooh," Clare grins from the doorway, "How long has this been going on then Chilli-Jim?"
"Shut up Clarely Bearely!" Chilli says as Tré kisses the side of her neck.
"NEVER!!!" Clare shouts loudly.
"Please?" Chilli asks in a small tone. Clare laughs and gives Chilli a kiss on the cheek.
"Why do you do that?" Asks Tré, confused at their strange affection as 'just friends'.
"We're SPECIAL!" Chilli declares in a retarded voice.
"We love each other!" Adds Clare. She's not really helping.
"We're WEIRD!" Yells AJ from inside (thank you), "It's our thang!"
"Ok then." Tré takes his pipe from his mouth and kisses Chilli on the nose.
"I love you." She tells him, "Let me explain how this works. I am Lord of the Pimps! Clare is my girlfriend," Clare grinned proudly, "AJ is my Make-Out Queen," AJ shouts 'Yay!' from inside, "And Bee is my Sex-Slave." Tré laughs, "Wait," Chilli stopped smiling and yelled at AJ, who's now stumbling towards Clare with a half empty (or maybe it's half full?... meh) beer bottle in her hands, "Did you just say 'thang'?"
*3 hours later*
Mike's POV
I snuck through the door, desperate not to be noticed.
"Hey there Mikey!"
Fuck. I turned around. Billie, Chilli and Tré were all standing there, grinning like lunatics.
"How did the date go?" Billie asked amused.
"Er... Fine, good. Hey! It was NOT a date!" I stuttered.
"Didja get laid?" Tré asked interested. Not really. Tré was just being Tré.
"Did you kiss her?" Billie asked, teasing me.
"Oooh, Mikey! What's all this?" Chilli said. Fuck, "You never blush." She grinned evilly. Ok. Shit. I'm doomed.
"I'm not blushing!" I retorted pathetically and turned away. I can hear Billie sniggering.
"Miiiiiiiiiiiike, why are you smiling?" Tré asked.
"I'm not smiling... " I said, struggling to keep a straight face.
"You love her!" Chilli suddenly said with an evil laugh.
"Mikey's in love, Mikey's in love... " They chanted over and over again. Bastards.
"I WIN!" Chilli shouted suddenly.
Billie and Tré stopped singing, sighed, and handed her two, crisp, fifty-dollar bills.
"You were betting on me?" I ask astounded.
"I could see it coming." Chilli retorts as she stuffs the notes into her wallet, and shoves it in her back pocket, "Come on man! You were practically drooling over her!"
She does an impression. Billie and Tré laugh hysterically.
Bastards.
