A Student / Teacher Relationship, chapter 14
BJ's POV:
Monday. Today's the day I'm fixing everything. It would be easier if it wasn't stupid homecoming week, each day having its own theme to dress up to. How can I teach this shit when these kids are dressed up as game board-themed idiots? Some take this way too seriously. Well the monopoly guy was amusing 2nd period. Still dumb though.
Sitting at my desk, I surveyed my class of playing cards, repeats of Clue characters, and other colorful pieces. When do they find the time to make such ridiculous costumes? Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Halloween. It's awesome: candy, slasher films, and scaring small children is fun. But homecoming? Oh wait I forgot school spirit! "It's a great day to be a hawk!" Gag me. At least some chose to be themselves. The typical choices you wouldn't expect to give a damn about their school. I don't, but this place does give me a stable income from my other career. Those were the days...too bad they're gone.
With around 15 minutes left and they're all doing the in-class essay I assigned, this is so boring! Suddenly I heard some scuffling outside the door. Through the small side window adjacent to the door, I saw that crotch stuffer Ben. Doesn't this fucker have a class he should be in? Waiting for Becky no doubt. I looked over at her head still down, finishing up. It comforts me to know she is one of the few that could care less about school spirit. Eyes back on Ben. He's leaning against the door from what I can tell until the bell rings and he takes her from me again. Not today. I won't let it happen. Rising up and making my way to the door, I wondered what I was possibly going to do. I gently rotated the handle and could sense the pressure from his body quickly leave the wood surface. I slipped out into the hall and closed the door behind me making sure not to draw any attention to my exit.
"The fuck do you want?" he spat surprised.
"You and I are going to have a little chat." I glanced up and down the hall. No one in sight.
"No, I'm not. I'm waiting for my girlfriend."
"1. yes we are and 2. she's not your girlfriend, because I know for a fact you're still dating that other girl."
"No, I'm not." He shook his head.
"Don't lie I've seen you." I cracked a grin trying to keep my cool.
"Fuck this I'll come back later." He began to trudge down the hall looking like he might as well be dragging his knuckles along against the tile. I'm not going to let you get off that easily. Silently following, gaining distance, I shoved him in through the restroom door causing him to trip over his feet and fall to the ground. Shit no urinals, this must be the girl's room. Nice going Billie. I shrugged it off and locked the door not before I scanned the bottom of each stall and saw no shoes.
"Fuckin' fag." Ben gasped, getting up rubbing the wrist he used to break his fall.
"Can't we have a civilized conversation without such ugly, inappropriate language?"
His face contorted into a scowl.
"This is assault you know." He pointed.
"Sine when is a friendly meeting assault?"
"Not only assault. There's battery, adultery, relations with a minor-" He named each charge, counting down the list with his fingers.
"That's nothing. My word against yours, rapist."
"Hey I am no rapist."
"Spare me from the bullshit." I waved away his denial, comptemplating my actions from this point on. I watched his face heat red taking special notice to the vein pulsing in his forehead. He seemed to grow larger with every deep breath he sucked in like those animals on nature shows. Defense mechanism, intimidation. Not working...ok maybe a little. Come on he's a gigantic motherfucker.
"Move out of the way."
"Not until we're finished with our discussion."
"Speak dammit, what do you want?!" He stepped forward and (out of fear) my legs wobbled a bit. Don't show him you're scared. When it comes to situations such as this, never let him realize him being bigger than you is an advantage. That goes unspoken for the vertically challenged. The acid in his voice was startling in my preparation/ motivation speech. "Not wasting my time on little faggots like you." Ben used one arm to try and push me out of the way. Give me some credit.
"Nope." I punched him low in the stomache forcing a grunt and a hunched nemesis. As soon as he flew down bent over, I watched my own fist swing up landing square under his jaw. Fuck ow, ow. Ben's gasping figure stumbled backwards and fell. Isn't very graceful is he? Clunk! The back of his head smacked into one of the hand dryer units. His body went limp and his eyes rolled to whites. David: 2, Goliath : 0.
After a few seconds I was expecting him to jump up and attack, but nothing. He remained motionless.
"Helllooo?" Approaching his body, I looked out for any suddle hints for a surprise ambush. "Anyone in there? Ben?" I kicked his foot. "Dumbass?"Apart of me wanted to continue hitting him, awake or not, I wanted nothing more than for him to feel the pain Becky must have felt that night for the rest of his life. Why did I have to leave? I was about to kick him in the gut and make him vomit blood and hopefully choke to death on it, but I restrained myself. That would be a coward's move. I knocked him unconscious and now he's just a hunk of flesh and bones in the middle of a girls' restroom while classes are in session. Now who's the dumbass?
Pounding came from the other side of the door. "Hello? Is someone in there? The door's locked." Shit! I froze in my spot. Think Billie! A girls' bathroom so-
"Ye-yes." I answered with the most feminine voice I could muster from my vocal chords.
"Could you open the door?"
"I can't."
"Are you alright? Do you want me to get a dean or a janitor or someone?"
"No, don't do that. Just a minute ok?" I knelt down beside him and lifted him into a slouched position.
"Need any help?" I could sure use some.
"I'm fine!" I dragged his living corpse to the open handicap stall. A streak of brilliant crimson followed our trip.
"Why is the door locked?" Grr this girl's getting on my nerves. Girl problems uhhh...
"I have my uh period! There's blood everywhere!" I was proud of my quick thinking, but grossed myself out at the same time.
"Um never mind. I'll try somewhere else." Without bothering to answer, I resumed my work. I hoisted his dead weight over the toilet leaving his arms and legs dangling from the sides. I stood and marveled at all I had just done. Rubbing my face, I closed the stall door behind me and glanced in the mirror. What the? Faint red was smeared across unsymmetrical areas of my face: my forehead, my cheek, a little on my chin, ew ew on my lip. I rushed to one of the sinks and ran some cool water. What's happening to me? I wondered as I washed off Ben's blood.
Several minutes to spare, I returned to my classroom and acted as if Ben wasn't slumped over a toilet bowl, out cold, in the bathroom down the hall. What would happen when he wakes up, I don't know. I could only hope he'll have amnesia and if I'm lucky, some brain damage. Or perhaps he has too much macho bravado to admit he got his ass kicked at all. Putting the recently turned in pile of essays into a folder. I watched my students compliment each other's costumes and brag about the future victory our school would soon possess on Friday night's football game. We'll lose though. Our team sucks. Optimism always runs high here. It sickens me so.
Anticipation was mounting as the long hand passed the 10, crept up on the 11, and struck the 12 starting the stampede out the door. I stood beside my desk, trying to maintain focus on Becky through the sea of heads, plotting my appending repair. No matter how hard she tries, she always seems to lag behind. A possible insight to her life?
"Rebecca, could you stay after a moment?" I asked, hoping to sound more professional than desperate. She glanced at me between the openings of BHS spirit supporters and then at the door looking for the Ben that would not be there.
"Uh I gotta be somewhere. Maybe tomorrow."
"It's either now or a detention." I shrugged, imitating my old, asshole teachers when they enjoyed what little power they had at abusing it. She immediately stopped at the mentioning of detention as everyone else left and the door closed making the room silent. Yay...I hope.
"So what's with the threats?" She still watched the door for the arrival of Ben.
"No reason. At least you stayed."
"Well... not for long, so what is it?" Her arms crossed.
"Hold on just a minute." I reached over and dug through my bag, pulling out the divorce papers. They still sent chills though me. I've been with Adie for years, and I love her but in a different way from Becky. With Adrienne I have to be the responsible husband and father, be an adult. With Becky I know I can be young, be me. No special title (other than the gruesome word of "teacher"), other than that no pressure. I do have to grow up some time, but I simply don't want to. The complicated mess I submerged myself in was on purpose. I handed her the papers and studied her mannerisms as she looked them over.
"Billie what the hell is this?"
"They're divorce papers." I nodded. This is it. This is when I get her back. She's going to fall into my arms and everything will be right. Well not necessarily right, but good.
"Get rid of them." She tossed them on the table and headed towards the door.
"What?" I followed and blocked her exit. The smile that usually results from confusion became a fixture on my face. "What do you mean? I did this for you. Isn't this what you wanted?"
"A divorce was never what I wanted." The strands of hair she normally kept tucked behind her ear fell, completing the blockage of the view of her face. "Look I don't want anything from you. Nothing at all. Just don't do that."
"Why? I want to be with you-"
"No, Adrienne is the better choice. Don't divorce her. Does she know about them?"
"Not yet, but it's my decision." What the hell is going on? Whatever happened to 'oh my god really Billie? I love you'? When does that come? She sighed and put the misplaced hair back behind her ear.
"Fine Billie. Do whatever you want. I don't care." She pushed past me and walked out. I want to make this work, but damn. This is borderline hopeless. I might as well give up.
My POV:
Romance, maybe love in general isn't much of a healthy option for me anymore. Too dramatic? Good that's the point. The tragedy life has to offer has consumed me and I desperately wish for it to end. Why did he have to go and do that? I was literally on the very brink of giving in, but the thought of Adrienne unclouded my mind. Was divorce what I wanted? I guess if I ever wanted to be with him, divorce would be the only other correct way... Well there is death, but that's too morbid.
On the way to the lunchroom, I couldn't help but wonder where Ben was. I was planning on bitching him out today. He managed to follow me all this morning and continue to harass me for just about everything I do and yet the bastard just disappears. Better to never see him again and things left unresolved than constant meeting with closure. The passive-aggressive in me.
Heavily distracted by my selfish ideas, I almost headed for my old lunch table, but immediately veered away. Forgot I'm 86ed. Dragging myself to the table of untouchables, I sat in my newly regular seat away from the other rejects. I've always known I'm a loser and I'm pretty good at it too, but now this table makes it seem explicit. Doesn't matter. What can I say? I secretly enjoy being cast away.
Monday. Today's the day I'm fixing everything. It would be easier if it wasn't stupid homecoming week, each day having its own theme to dress up to. How can I teach this shit when these kids are dressed up as game board-themed idiots? Some take this way too seriously. Well the monopoly guy was amusing 2nd period. Still dumb though.
Sitting at my desk, I surveyed my class of playing cards, repeats of Clue characters, and other colorful pieces. When do they find the time to make such ridiculous costumes? Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Halloween. It's awesome: candy, slasher films, and scaring small children is fun. But homecoming? Oh wait I forgot school spirit! "It's a great day to be a hawk!" Gag me. At least some chose to be themselves. The typical choices you wouldn't expect to give a damn about their school. I don't, but this place does give me a stable income from my other career. Those were the days...too bad they're gone.
With around 15 minutes left and they're all doing the in-class essay I assigned, this is so boring! Suddenly I heard some scuffling outside the door. Through the small side window adjacent to the door, I saw that crotch stuffer Ben. Doesn't this fucker have a class he should be in? Waiting for Becky no doubt. I looked over at her head still down, finishing up. It comforts me to know she is one of the few that could care less about school spirit. Eyes back on Ben. He's leaning against the door from what I can tell until the bell rings and he takes her from me again. Not today. I won't let it happen. Rising up and making my way to the door, I wondered what I was possibly going to do. I gently rotated the handle and could sense the pressure from his body quickly leave the wood surface. I slipped out into the hall and closed the door behind me making sure not to draw any attention to my exit.
"The fuck do you want?" he spat surprised.
"You and I are going to have a little chat." I glanced up and down the hall. No one in sight.
"No, I'm not. I'm waiting for my girlfriend."
"1. yes we are and 2. she's not your girlfriend, because I know for a fact you're still dating that other girl."
"No, I'm not." He shook his head.
"Don't lie I've seen you." I cracked a grin trying to keep my cool.
"Fuck this I'll come back later." He began to trudge down the hall looking like he might as well be dragging his knuckles along against the tile. I'm not going to let you get off that easily. Silently following, gaining distance, I shoved him in through the restroom door causing him to trip over his feet and fall to the ground. Shit no urinals, this must be the girl's room. Nice going Billie. I shrugged it off and locked the door not before I scanned the bottom of each stall and saw no shoes.
"Fuckin' fag." Ben gasped, getting up rubbing the wrist he used to break his fall.
"Can't we have a civilized conversation without such ugly, inappropriate language?"
His face contorted into a scowl.
"This is assault you know." He pointed.
"Sine when is a friendly meeting assault?"
"Not only assault. There's battery, adultery, relations with a minor-" He named each charge, counting down the list with his fingers.
"That's nothing. My word against yours, rapist."
"Hey I am no rapist."
"Spare me from the bullshit." I waved away his denial, comptemplating my actions from this point on. I watched his face heat red taking special notice to the vein pulsing in his forehead. He seemed to grow larger with every deep breath he sucked in like those animals on nature shows. Defense mechanism, intimidation. Not working...ok maybe a little. Come on he's a gigantic motherfucker.
"Move out of the way."
"Not until we're finished with our discussion."
"Speak dammit, what do you want?!" He stepped forward and (out of fear) my legs wobbled a bit. Don't show him you're scared. When it comes to situations such as this, never let him realize him being bigger than you is an advantage. That goes unspoken for the vertically challenged. The acid in his voice was startling in my preparation/ motivation speech. "Not wasting my time on little faggots like you." Ben used one arm to try and push me out of the way. Give me some credit.
"Nope." I punched him low in the stomache forcing a grunt and a hunched nemesis. As soon as he flew down bent over, I watched my own fist swing up landing square under his jaw. Fuck ow, ow. Ben's gasping figure stumbled backwards and fell. Isn't very graceful is he? Clunk! The back of his head smacked into one of the hand dryer units. His body went limp and his eyes rolled to whites. David: 2, Goliath : 0.
After a few seconds I was expecting him to jump up and attack, but nothing. He remained motionless.
"Helllooo?" Approaching his body, I looked out for any suddle hints for a surprise ambush. "Anyone in there? Ben?" I kicked his foot. "Dumbass?"Apart of me wanted to continue hitting him, awake or not, I wanted nothing more than for him to feel the pain Becky must have felt that night for the rest of his life. Why did I have to leave? I was about to kick him in the gut and make him vomit blood and hopefully choke to death on it, but I restrained myself. That would be a coward's move. I knocked him unconscious and now he's just a hunk of flesh and bones in the middle of a girls' restroom while classes are in session. Now who's the dumbass?
Pounding came from the other side of the door. "Hello? Is someone in there? The door's locked." Shit! I froze in my spot. Think Billie! A girls' bathroom so-
"Ye-yes." I answered with the most feminine voice I could muster from my vocal chords.
"Could you open the door?"
"I can't."
"Are you alright? Do you want me to get a dean or a janitor or someone?"
"No, don't do that. Just a minute ok?" I knelt down beside him and lifted him into a slouched position.
"Need any help?" I could sure use some.
"I'm fine!" I dragged his living corpse to the open handicap stall. A streak of brilliant crimson followed our trip.
"Why is the door locked?" Grr this girl's getting on my nerves. Girl problems uhhh...
"I have my uh period! There's blood everywhere!" I was proud of my quick thinking, but grossed myself out at the same time.
"Um never mind. I'll try somewhere else." Without bothering to answer, I resumed my work. I hoisted his dead weight over the toilet leaving his arms and legs dangling from the sides. I stood and marveled at all I had just done. Rubbing my face, I closed the stall door behind me and glanced in the mirror. What the? Faint red was smeared across unsymmetrical areas of my face: my forehead, my cheek, a little on my chin, ew ew on my lip. I rushed to one of the sinks and ran some cool water. What's happening to me? I wondered as I washed off Ben's blood.
Several minutes to spare, I returned to my classroom and acted as if Ben wasn't slumped over a toilet bowl, out cold, in the bathroom down the hall. What would happen when he wakes up, I don't know. I could only hope he'll have amnesia and if I'm lucky, some brain damage. Or perhaps he has too much macho bravado to admit he got his ass kicked at all. Putting the recently turned in pile of essays into a folder. I watched my students compliment each other's costumes and brag about the future victory our school would soon possess on Friday night's football game. We'll lose though. Our team sucks. Optimism always runs high here. It sickens me so.
Anticipation was mounting as the long hand passed the 10, crept up on the 11, and struck the 12 starting the stampede out the door. I stood beside my desk, trying to maintain focus on Becky through the sea of heads, plotting my appending repair. No matter how hard she tries, she always seems to lag behind. A possible insight to her life?
"Rebecca, could you stay after a moment?" I asked, hoping to sound more professional than desperate. She glanced at me between the openings of BHS spirit supporters and then at the door looking for the Ben that would not be there.
"Uh I gotta be somewhere. Maybe tomorrow."
"It's either now or a detention." I shrugged, imitating my old, asshole teachers when they enjoyed what little power they had at abusing it. She immediately stopped at the mentioning of detention as everyone else left and the door closed making the room silent. Yay...I hope.
"So what's with the threats?" She still watched the door for the arrival of Ben.
"No reason. At least you stayed."
"Well... not for long, so what is it?" Her arms crossed.
"Hold on just a minute." I reached over and dug through my bag, pulling out the divorce papers. They still sent chills though me. I've been with Adie for years, and I love her but in a different way from Becky. With Adrienne I have to be the responsible husband and father, be an adult. With Becky I know I can be young, be me. No special title (other than the gruesome word of "teacher"), other than that no pressure. I do have to grow up some time, but I simply don't want to. The complicated mess I submerged myself in was on purpose. I handed her the papers and studied her mannerisms as she looked them over.
"Billie what the hell is this?"
"They're divorce papers." I nodded. This is it. This is when I get her back. She's going to fall into my arms and everything will be right. Well not necessarily right, but good.
"Get rid of them." She tossed them on the table and headed towards the door.
"What?" I followed and blocked her exit. The smile that usually results from confusion became a fixture on my face. "What do you mean? I did this for you. Isn't this what you wanted?"
"A divorce was never what I wanted." The strands of hair she normally kept tucked behind her ear fell, completing the blockage of the view of her face. "Look I don't want anything from you. Nothing at all. Just don't do that."
"Why? I want to be with you-"
"No, Adrienne is the better choice. Don't divorce her. Does she know about them?"
"Not yet, but it's my decision." What the hell is going on? Whatever happened to 'oh my god really Billie? I love you'? When does that come? She sighed and put the misplaced hair back behind her ear.
"Fine Billie. Do whatever you want. I don't care." She pushed past me and walked out. I want to make this work, but damn. This is borderline hopeless. I might as well give up.
My POV:
Romance, maybe love in general isn't much of a healthy option for me anymore. Too dramatic? Good that's the point. The tragedy life has to offer has consumed me and I desperately wish for it to end. Why did he have to go and do that? I was literally on the very brink of giving in, but the thought of Adrienne unclouded my mind. Was divorce what I wanted? I guess if I ever wanted to be with him, divorce would be the only other correct way... Well there is death, but that's too morbid.
On the way to the lunchroom, I couldn't help but wonder where Ben was. I was planning on bitching him out today. He managed to follow me all this morning and continue to harass me for just about everything I do and yet the bastard just disappears. Better to never see him again and things left unresolved than constant meeting with closure. The passive-aggressive in me.
Heavily distracted by my selfish ideas, I almost headed for my old lunch table, but immediately veered away. Forgot I'm 86ed. Dragging myself to the table of untouchables, I sat in my newly regular seat away from the other rejects. I've always known I'm a loser and I'm pretty good at it too, but now this table makes it seem explicit. Doesn't matter. What can I say? I secretly enjoy being cast away.
