Whatshername?, chapter 3
Back to that morning
Adie . . .
"Billie? . . . What's happened?"
Oh God. I feel my heart in my throat. I fell numb, inside and out. My mouth is so dry, I can't speak.
"Billie? . . . Are you there?" Each syllable stabs me in my stomach with a cold blade.
"I . . . I've . . ." What the fuck do I say?! Should I lie? I couldn't lie to her. But I can't tell her the truth either. Which would hurt her more?
"I'm so sorry," I whisper.
"Oh Billie, you haven't?!" Shit! She knows. I drop down to my knees. I can't lose her.
"Adie, please just hear me out - " I begin.
"No, save it, Billie," she interrupts, "I've told you that I can't take much more of this," she sighs through tears. This is killing me. I feel a burning tear run down my cheek. "I should've guessed. You can't just have one can, can you?! You have to get as pissed as possible . . ."
As her words continue I realise. She doesn't know about . . . whatsername. She just thinks that the usual has happened. As I give a sigh of relief I can't help but smile.
". . . I'm right, aren't I?"
"Yeah, sweetie, you're right. I'm so, so sorry. I've treated you, Joey and Jake like shit. But I love you Adie, please forgive me . . . Can you give me another chance?"
There's a pause.
"God, Billie . . . whatever I . . . L-Look," she stammers "I just need some time to think things through today so j-just go to Mike's, clean yourself up and come home this evening . . . sober" she adds.
"Yes! Thank you so much. I will see all of you tonight. I will not let you down."
"I'll believe it when I see it. Bye Billie."
"I-I love you." she hangs up.
Wow maybe this is going to be easier than I thought. As I get a cab to Mike's I decide that the best way for this nightmare to end is not to tell anybody. I get out of the cab, telling the driver to keep the change.
"Woah. What the fuck . . ." I don't let Mike finish his sentence, stepping inside.
I walk into the living room and sit down on the couch.
"Holy crap, you need to take a shower!" says Mike, sitting beside me. "Well? Are you going to tell me what happened last night?"
"There's nothing to tell," I lie, "just the usual, that's all."
"Nothing else? Only you sounded pretty out of it when I called you earlier?" We've been best friends for God knows how long, Mike can tell when I 'm lying. But the less people that know, the better.
"Yeah, that's all." I can't even convince myself, never mind my best friend.
"If you say so. Hey what are all these red patches? Have you got some sort of rash or - "
"Like you said," I interupt, jumping up from the couch, "I really need to take a shower" I quickly leave the room and head for the bathroom.
As I let the warm water run over my face, I smile. I decide that this is going to be a fresh start for me and Adie, I'll tell her that tonight. Mike lends me shirt and some drainpipes. He's taller than me so the drainpipes a kind of big but anything's better than what I was orignally wearing. As I pull on the shirt I see the love bite in the mirror above the sink. It's still there, slightly fainter, like my guilt. Shit. I just want to forget about this. I lean on the sink, staring at my reflection. Can I really do this?
Suddenly I'm there again, last night. I can hear music blasting from the other side of the crowded room. It's Whatsername. As I turn to leave the room I -
The knock at the door makes me jump, "Billie, what are you doing in there? Someone's here and - "
"I need to pee!" squeals Tre from the other side of the door, finishing Mike's sentence. Great, another person to lie to, I think as I walk over to the door.
Remember, whatever
It seems like forever ago
Remember, whatever
It seems like forever ago
The regrets are useless
In my mind
She's in my head
I must confess
The regrets are useless
She's in my head
From so long ago
And in the darkest night
If my memory serves me right
I'll never turn back time
Forgetting you but not the time
Adie . . .
"Billie? . . . What's happened?"
Oh God. I feel my heart in my throat. I fell numb, inside and out. My mouth is so dry, I can't speak.
"Billie? . . . Are you there?" Each syllable stabs me in my stomach with a cold blade.
"I . . . I've . . ." What the fuck do I say?! Should I lie? I couldn't lie to her. But I can't tell her the truth either. Which would hurt her more?
"I'm so sorry," I whisper.
"Oh Billie, you haven't?!" Shit! She knows. I drop down to my knees. I can't lose her.
"Adie, please just hear me out - " I begin.
"No, save it, Billie," she interrupts, "I've told you that I can't take much more of this," she sighs through tears. This is killing me. I feel a burning tear run down my cheek. "I should've guessed. You can't just have one can, can you?! You have to get as pissed as possible . . ."
As her words continue I realise. She doesn't know about . . . whatsername. She just thinks that the usual has happened. As I give a sigh of relief I can't help but smile.
". . . I'm right, aren't I?"
"Yeah, sweetie, you're right. I'm so, so sorry. I've treated you, Joey and Jake like shit. But I love you Adie, please forgive me . . . Can you give me another chance?"
There's a pause.
"God, Billie . . . whatever I . . . L-Look," she stammers "I just need some time to think things through today so j-just go to Mike's, clean yourself up and come home this evening . . . sober" she adds.
"Yes! Thank you so much. I will see all of you tonight. I will not let you down."
"I'll believe it when I see it. Bye Billie."
"I-I love you." she hangs up.
Wow maybe this is going to be easier than I thought. As I get a cab to Mike's I decide that the best way for this nightmare to end is not to tell anybody. I get out of the cab, telling the driver to keep the change.
"Woah. What the fuck . . ." I don't let Mike finish his sentence, stepping inside.
I walk into the living room and sit down on the couch.
"Holy crap, you need to take a shower!" says Mike, sitting beside me. "Well? Are you going to tell me what happened last night?"
"There's nothing to tell," I lie, "just the usual, that's all."
"Nothing else? Only you sounded pretty out of it when I called you earlier?" We've been best friends for God knows how long, Mike can tell when I 'm lying. But the less people that know, the better.
"Yeah, that's all." I can't even convince myself, never mind my best friend.
"If you say so. Hey what are all these red patches? Have you got some sort of rash or - "
"Like you said," I interupt, jumping up from the couch, "I really need to take a shower" I quickly leave the room and head for the bathroom.
As I let the warm water run over my face, I smile. I decide that this is going to be a fresh start for me and Adie, I'll tell her that tonight. Mike lends me shirt and some drainpipes. He's taller than me so the drainpipes a kind of big but anything's better than what I was orignally wearing. As I pull on the shirt I see the love bite in the mirror above the sink. It's still there, slightly fainter, like my guilt. Shit. I just want to forget about this. I lean on the sink, staring at my reflection. Can I really do this?
Suddenly I'm there again, last night. I can hear music blasting from the other side of the crowded room. It's Whatsername. As I turn to leave the room I -
The knock at the door makes me jump, "Billie, what are you doing in there? Someone's here and - "
"I need to pee!" squeals Tre from the other side of the door, finishing Mike's sentence. Great, another person to lie to, I think as I walk over to the door.
Remember, whatever
It seems like forever ago
Remember, whatever
It seems like forever ago
The regrets are useless
In my mind
She's in my head
I must confess
The regrets are useless
She's in my head
From so long ago
And in the darkest night
If my memory serves me right
I'll never turn back time
Forgetting you but not the time
