Whatshername?, chapter 5
Adie's P.O.V.
Oh my God. The only reaction I seem to have. I lean on the sink to steady myself. I'm pregnant... again. If Billie comes home sober tonight then it's fantastic news and I can't wait to tell him... if he doesn't then maybe I won't tell him and... I just don't want another child growing up with a drunk for a dad. Ok, tonight I'll decide whether to keep this baby or not... Billie will decide.
Billie's P.O.V.
I look at the clock. Half an hour to go. I decided that I'd go home at 6. Mike and Tre went to get some pizza about five minutes ago... why is time passing so slowly?! I can't wait to go home and tell Adie how sorry I am and that I'll always love her... I really can't wait. I get up from the couch where I have spent most of the day continuously flicking through different channels and head for the bathroom to make sure that I look as sober as possible.
I study my face in the mirror. It's the face of a liar and a cheater not of a loving husband. I can't do this. Can I really lie to her face after what I've done? She doesn't deserve it. If I told her I wouldn't only lose her I'd lose Joey and Jakob. What am I supposed to do?!
I can hear music blasting from the other side of the crowded room. It's Whatsername. As I turn to leave the room I bump into this girl. I don't recognise her but she's saying something to me. I try to explain that I can't hear and take her hand and lead her outside.
"Honey, we're home!" shouts Tre from the hallway. A cold gust of wind is followed by the warm smell of pizza.
"Hey," I call, coming out of the bathroom. I walk into the kitchen and find Mike and Tre with two large pizzas and a pack of beer
"Help yourself," says Mike through a mouthful of pepperoni pizza, gesturing towards the boxes.
"Actually, I think I'm gonna head off. I... need to see Adie," I'm restless, she's like a drug. I need to see her so badly. I need to see her now.
"Aw, come on! You won't even stay and have a beer with us to make up for abandoning us at the party last night?" whines Tre.
Why does he assume I want a beer? Does he think that's all I care about?! That I'd rather have a beer than be home with my wife and kids?! "No! I don't want a fucking beer!" I yell and storm out of the house.
It's snowing. I look up at the sky; it's pure white. The trees are like large claws ripping through the earth and they're coming to get me. I don't know if I can keep lying. I'm hurting everyone I care about.
"Billie!" Mike comes running out of the house towards me, pulling on a jacket. He turns me towards him and looks at my face. He's lost for words. He shakes his head slowly. "I-I'll drive you home, ok?" I don't answer; I just turn and walk towards his car.
We spend most of the journey in silence. I swear it's colder inside the car than it is outside.
"So," begins Mike, "Are you ever going to tell me what's up?" I hear the annoyance in his voice. I feel like I've let him down.
I try to laugh but it sounds so fake, "Nothing's up," I say unconvincingly, "I just want to be home with my family. Y'know I haven't seen them that much lately."
Mike takes his eyes of the road and looks at me for a second, almost sympathetically. He sighs, "Ok, Bill, but... you know you can talk to me if anything ever is bothering you, don't you?"
Shit. He doesn't believe me. "Yeah... I know."
Adie's P.O.V.
What the hell am I doing? I have been standing by this window for ages, hoping that it'll make him come home earlier. I'm so tense. For God's sake. I move away from the window. I need to find something to do. I hear a car door slam shut. I hear someone running. I run. I run towards the door. I quickly calm myself and open it.
"Hey, Bil-", before I can finish, Billie throws his arms around me and kisses me. I pull away in shock. I pause... then look into his eyes. "You haven't been drinking." He smiles and I kiss him back. Thank you, thank you! I suddenly realise that Mike is sitting in his car looking slightly uncomfortable. I pull away again.
"Thanks Mike!" I call. He looks up and nods uneasily then drives off. I wait until he's out of sight then I turn to face Billie, the clean, white snow catching in his jet black hair. As look at his face, I see the man I married and I see that he has decided.
"Billie, I have something to tell you..."
Oh my God. The only reaction I seem to have. I lean on the sink to steady myself. I'm pregnant... again. If Billie comes home sober tonight then it's fantastic news and I can't wait to tell him... if he doesn't then maybe I won't tell him and... I just don't want another child growing up with a drunk for a dad. Ok, tonight I'll decide whether to keep this baby or not... Billie will decide.
Billie's P.O.V.
I look at the clock. Half an hour to go. I decided that I'd go home at 6. Mike and Tre went to get some pizza about five minutes ago... why is time passing so slowly?! I can't wait to go home and tell Adie how sorry I am and that I'll always love her... I really can't wait. I get up from the couch where I have spent most of the day continuously flicking through different channels and head for the bathroom to make sure that I look as sober as possible.
I study my face in the mirror. It's the face of a liar and a cheater not of a loving husband. I can't do this. Can I really lie to her face after what I've done? She doesn't deserve it. If I told her I wouldn't only lose her I'd lose Joey and Jakob. What am I supposed to do?!
I can hear music blasting from the other side of the crowded room. It's Whatsername. As I turn to leave the room I bump into this girl. I don't recognise her but she's saying something to me. I try to explain that I can't hear and take her hand and lead her outside.
"Honey, we're home!" shouts Tre from the hallway. A cold gust of wind is followed by the warm smell of pizza.
"Hey," I call, coming out of the bathroom. I walk into the kitchen and find Mike and Tre with two large pizzas and a pack of beer
"Help yourself," says Mike through a mouthful of pepperoni pizza, gesturing towards the boxes.
"Actually, I think I'm gonna head off. I... need to see Adie," I'm restless, she's like a drug. I need to see her so badly. I need to see her now.
"Aw, come on! You won't even stay and have a beer with us to make up for abandoning us at the party last night?" whines Tre.
Why does he assume I want a beer? Does he think that's all I care about?! That I'd rather have a beer than be home with my wife and kids?! "No! I don't want a fucking beer!" I yell and storm out of the house.
It's snowing. I look up at the sky; it's pure white. The trees are like large claws ripping through the earth and they're coming to get me. I don't know if I can keep lying. I'm hurting everyone I care about.
"Billie!" Mike comes running out of the house towards me, pulling on a jacket. He turns me towards him and looks at my face. He's lost for words. He shakes his head slowly. "I-I'll drive you home, ok?" I don't answer; I just turn and walk towards his car.
We spend most of the journey in silence. I swear it's colder inside the car than it is outside.
"So," begins Mike, "Are you ever going to tell me what's up?" I hear the annoyance in his voice. I feel like I've let him down.
I try to laugh but it sounds so fake, "Nothing's up," I say unconvincingly, "I just want to be home with my family. Y'know I haven't seen them that much lately."
Mike takes his eyes of the road and looks at me for a second, almost sympathetically. He sighs, "Ok, Bill, but... you know you can talk to me if anything ever is bothering you, don't you?"
Shit. He doesn't believe me. "Yeah... I know."
Adie's P.O.V.
What the hell am I doing? I have been standing by this window for ages, hoping that it'll make him come home earlier. I'm so tense. For God's sake. I move away from the window. I need to find something to do. I hear a car door slam shut. I hear someone running. I run. I run towards the door. I quickly calm myself and open it.
"Hey, Bil-", before I can finish, Billie throws his arms around me and kisses me. I pull away in shock. I pause... then look into his eyes. "You haven't been drinking." He smiles and I kiss him back. Thank you, thank you! I suddenly realise that Mike is sitting in his car looking slightly uncomfortable. I pull away again.
"Thanks Mike!" I call. He looks up and nods uneasily then drives off. I wait until he's out of sight then I turn to face Billie, the clean, white snow catching in his jet black hair. As look at his face, I see the man I married and I see that he has decided.
"Billie, I have something to tell you..."
