All Of This, chapter 5

Esmee woke up the next morning, beside Billie Joe. They were laying on their sides, face to face. His eyes were shut, as he mumbled in his sleep. His curly hair was a mess, and his clothes were wrinkled to a full extent.

She sat up, and rubbed her eyes. Yawning, she leaned back against the bed post as she tried to remember the day before.

When Billie Joe and Esmee went back downstairs, Tre and Mike had come home. They'd noticed the smiles on their faces, and when Mike asked what happened, they didn't answer. Tre had a smile plastered on his face, as he whispered to Mike, who in turn grinned.

The rest of the night they all sat around the livingroom and watched movies. They ate pizza, and drank pop. Well...Esmee drank pop. The guys had alcohol, but that was okay to Ezz. They didn't get drunk or anything. They all knew how much she was against it, and how it scared her.

At the end of the third movie they were watching, Esmee had fallen asleep, and the last thing she remembered was being laid down on her bed, and feeling the spot next to her sink in.

Apparently it was Billie Joe.

She felt the bed move. Esmee glanced down to see Billie looking up at her.

"Hey gorgeous," he sat up.

"Hi," she gave him a lopsided smile.

"How'd you sleep last night?" he asked.

"Good," she nodded, "You?"

"Like a baby," Billie draped an arm over her shoulder.

"Bill?"

"Yesh?"

"Are we... ?" Esmee pointed to him, and then at herself.

"I dunno," Billie shrugged. "Are we?"

"That's kinda why I asked you," she said.

"Okay..." he laid his head in the crook of her neck. "I'll make it easy."

"Like how?"

"Well...I'ma sit like this..." Billie trailed off. "...and ask you a very simple question."

"What's that?" Esmee raised her eyebrow at him.

"Well, Holly...it's a question that most boys ask girls. In other words," he continued. "Would you go out with me?"

"Are you serious?"

"What's not to be serious about?" Billie Joe asked, kissing her cheek.

Esmee shook her head, "I-I don't know, Bill..."

"But we kis-"

"I know we kissed...but relationship wise," she sighed, "I just...I don't know. Can it wait a day or two so I can th--"

"Think about it? Yeah, sure. I'll wait," Billie smiled before getting up and leaving.

She sat there, banging the back of her head against the wooden bed post.

Stupid...idiot...fucking...fuck. You like him, Esmee! You know you do! Why'd you have to say 'I don't know'?! FUCKING DUMBASS!

She laid back down on her stomach and put her face in her pillow. She let out a scream of rage, kicking the end of her bed. After a couple minutes of lying there, Esmee shot up and grabbed her jacket, exiting her room.

She walked through the hallway, passed Billie's room, and into the kitchen, where Mike was.

"If Billie asks, I took a walk," she blurted out before stepping out the door.

* * *

After about three hours, Esmee's head began to clear. But the sky didn't. She had walked to the spot where she first met Tre. It was the city region of Berkeley. Cars drove by, and people rushed out of the stores to get home. She didn't know what time it was, but she knew that supper-time was coming up.

She hated herself for making the mistake of practically telling Billie Joe no. Esmee didn't understand why she did it. She had never had feelings for anyone like this. It was different for her.

I wonder if it's different for him, too...

As she kept walking, Esmee thought about Billie. Did he even know she was gone? Did he ever come out of his room? Had Mike told him anything? Where do they think she went?

Now Esmee wished she never left...

* * *

*Two Hours Earlier/Back At Home*

"Yo, Mike. Where's Holly?" Billie asked as he entered the kitchen.

"Who's Holly?" Mike's brow furrowed.

"Ezz."

"Ooohh..." he said, "She went for a walk."

"To where?"

"She didn't say," Mike stated.

Billie Joe sighed, "When'd she leave?"

"About an hour or so ago."

"Fuck," he muttered. "I'll be back in a little bit."

"Where're you goin'?"

"Out," Billie murmured befor exiting the house.

* * *

It had been another hour. And the clouds were settling in. As it became darker, Esmee started walking back. The regret of leaving in the first place went away. She needed the time alone. And it helped. A lot. Esmee made up her mind. But she still felt like an idiot.

"Fuck you, God," she mumbled. "Fuck you."

Esmee noticed how there were less cars running down the street, and less people scurrying around. She looked up at the now dark sky, feeling a drop of water land on her face.

Damn it.

She heard thunder, and saw lightning in the clouds. It began to pour.

"Fuck. You."

Esmee laughed at the irony of it all. It pissed her off. Apparently God hated her at the moment, almost as much as she hated him.

The rain came down harder, soaking Esmee more every minute she was outside. She purposely kept herself from getting out of the nasty weather. It had been awhile since she stood out below crying clouds. It always felt good for her to do this.

Esmee's greatest wish was to be kissed in the rain. It had forever been a dream of her's. Just be standing in the street, or anywhere, and be romantically kissed under the dark sky.

What girl doesn't want that to happen?

The sky grew much darker as she kept walking. She didn't care. Esmee just wanted to get home. Even if it meant wandering around until midnight. She passed by an alley that was between two brick apartments. It was narrow and isolated. She was debating whether or not to use it as shelter from the rain, but she decided not to.

As she moved on her way, Esmee felt someone grab her shoulder and pull her back, with a hand clamped over her mouth. She yelped, now being dragged into the alley. She tried jerking away so she could run, but Esmee was in too much of a strong hold.

Pushing her down, she felt the hot, angry breath on her face of the person getting on top of her. Iced over blue eyes of her father glared downward at his daughter.

"You made a really bad mistake," he hissed. "and now you're paying for it."

"No," she whimpered, trying her hardest to push him off.

"Your friends aren't here to help you now," her dad whispered before smacking Esmee across the face.

She cried out in pain, which only caused another slap coming from her father.

"I'm gonna kill ya', Esmee," he said. "I'm gonna beat your heart out of your body. I told you I'd do it. And guess what?"

She kept sobbing and kicking around.

"You're gonna die before you can do anything about it," he grabbed Esmee's throat, still holding her down. "But, I should get pleasure out of this first... "

"No..." she muttered.

"Yes," he smiled evilly as he clutched her belt buckle.

She looked at him, "I...said...NO!"

He jerked backwards after Esmee punched him in the forehead. "You little bitch."

Her dad began beating on Esmee harder than before. He tightened his grip around her neck with one hand as he hit her over and over in the same place.

"H-help!" she cried. "BILLIE!"

"Don't even try calling for your little boyfriend," Esmee's father sneered. "He won't come."

The rain came down even harder, making Esmee's clothes heavy so she could barely move. She kept fighting back. She'd kick as much as she could. But nothing helped.

"BILLIE!" Esmee screamed. "PLEASE HELP ME!"

"Shut up!" Dad scolded. "He's not coming!"

"BILLIE!"

"I SAID SHUT UP!" he hit her in the cheek.

The repititive punches and slaps were making Esmee weak. She didn't know how much longer she would last. She called out Billie Joe's name one more time.

He's not coming...

She felt rough hands wrap around her throat, groping tighter and tighter. Esmee couldn't save herself. And no one would, because no one else was around. The storm had everyone inside. She stopped kicking, she stopped screaming. She just laid there and stared into her father's raging eyes. She gave up. She was awaiting her death.


"HOLLY?"

Her eyes widened, That wasn't...

"HOLLY?!"

"BILLIE!" Esmee yelled.

Her dad loosened his grip around her neck, looking about with scared eyes. "Sonuvabitch."

She saw Billie Joe's shadowed figure outside of the alley. He started running towards her and her father. Esmee could hear the squishy noises of Billie's Vans against the concrete.

"Get off of her, you fucking mook!" he commanded, jumping on her dad's back.

She felt him being pulled off of her body. She crawled back as she watched Billie Joe clog him in the face, causing Esmee's father to fall backwards. He laid there on the wet concrete, passed out. Billie grabbed her hand and picked her up.

"Hurry, let's go," he said.

They sprinted out of the alley and through the rain. Their soaked clothes slowed them down. But they were still able to run almost twelve and a half blocks.

Billie and Esmee stopped in the middle of a large park. Thunder still clashed and lightning still struck. But they had no where to go. Everything had closed.

He leaned against a maple tree as he tried to catch his breath. His damp, curly hair stuck to his face. Esmee held her badly bruised stomach and rubbed her neck, feeling the imprints of her dad's calloused hands.

"H-how'd you find me?" she asked.

Billie shrugged, pushing himself off the tree. "I just kind of thought about the last place I would look for you."

"But it turned out not to be your last," she chuckled, lifting up her sticky shirt above her belly button. Esmee gasped at how dark the bruises on her skin were as she traced over them.

Billie gazed at her stomach with a worried expression on his face, "You okay?"

"Yeah..." she said. "I'm fine."

Esmee pulled down her shirt and sighed before attaching herself to Billie. Their bodies stuck together as he hugged her back.

"Thank you," she muttered into his chest. "I thought you wouldn't show up. I was scared. I...I gave up fighting back...thinking I was gonna die either way. But you came. Thank you."

He set his chin on the top of Esmee's head, "No problem...I'm just glad you're okay. God...I don't know what I'd do if you died..."

She glanced up at his face. The rain fell on him, dripping off his nose. Billie blinked the water from his eyelashes and smiled at her. Esmee opened her mouth to say something, but instead took his face in her hands and kissed his soft, wet lips. He kissed back, slightly holding onto her hips.

They both pulled away at the same time, and smiled at each other.

"So, do you have an answer?" Billie Joe enquired, showing off his brilliant green eyes.

"Yeah," Esmee nodded before pressing her lips against his once again.