So life can get better! (Includes Green Day and Adrienne so no teenie comments), chapter 17
I'm going on. I am scared to death, but I'm going. We walked out of the dressing room and I heard fans yelling "GREEN... DAY... GREEN... DAY... GREEN... DAY! GREEN DAY."
When they screamed Green Day it seemed as though all nervousness left me. I wasn't afraid of anything. I grabbed my guitar and ran out on stage with my dad, Trè and Mike right behind us, and then everyone else. I took my place at the mike as my dad played the opening to American Idiot. We played many more songs until we came to the final song, Good Riddance.
This was a song my dad and I wrote together, about his dad and my friends in Ohio. As we started playing everyone walked off the stage but me. I didn't even notice my dad left, he was supposed to stay on stage with me. I finished and the fire things went off and my dad appeared next to me along with everyone else.
"THANKS FOR COMING OUT TONIGHT, YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN A GREAT AUDIENCE," my dad yelled from the stage. Trè bowed and pretended to start jacking off, I just kind of waved, positive that my face was as red as my dad's tie. We walked back stage and every one exploded in a burst of chatter.
"Rebyl, you were amazing singing Good Riddance, I never heard you sing that well."
"I usually don't get [i]that<i/>into the song, but tonight I just did. Where did you go when you walked off stage?"
"I had to take a piss really bad."
"Oh so leave me all alone on stage will you?" I said sarcastically.
"You did fine."
"Yeah, ok." I looked over and smelt BO. I realized that Trè was waving to someone and I just stuck my nose right into his armpit. I turned around and gagged and everyone started laughing. Trè turned back with an innocent look on his face.
"What are we laughing about?" He saw me gagging and was really confused. I ran into the dressing room and grabbed the coffee to smell it and get the Trè BO smell off of my mind. They walked in and automatically started laughing, except for those who hadn't stopped, just laughed harder.
"Shut up guys," I said. So they told Trè I guess because he was giggling like a mad man.
"Trè would you please go take a shower?"
"Oh fine, I see you don't like my manly smell!" He fake stormed into the men's shower rooms. All the other guys followed and I went to the woman's shower room. I heard someone walk in. It sounded like Paris Hilton giggling. Oh my god, her concert was tonight too. If she is here I'll punch her in her slutty face. I finished my shower and heard her singing to "Stars are blind." I hate that song.
"Shut up would you Paris, goddamn!"
"Who was that?" I decided to toy with her brain.
"God's wife!" I boomed.
"What?"
"Your pound cake has sinned Paris, you will now have to burn in the fiery depths of hello kitty, and the only way to save yourself is to screw George's butt!" I realized that made no sense. It is the author and her friend's insider.
"Oh my gosh God's wife, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me!"
"The only way you can save yourself is to find a man named George and screw him in the butt!"
"Ok, my agent's name is George, I will screw him tonight!"
"That is good, while you are doing that you must yell 'I am a slut, I am a slut!'"
"I will, I promise!" you could hear the nervousness in her voice. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I burst out laughing.
"What is so funny?"
"You dumbfuck! I'm not God's wife, God doesn't have a wife stupid!"
"So who are you then?" she got out of the shower in just her bra and underwear.
"AH I'M BLINDED!"
"Rebyl Jayde Armstrong! You are a bitch, but your dad is sexy. Oh an my dearest daddy will be hearing about this."
"Yeah, okay, whatever, see you Hilton, and good riddance asshole!"
"Good-bye Armstrong." I walked out and into my dressing room where everyone but Trè was seated.
"Guess who I just met."
"Who?"
"Paris Hilton."
"I feel for you."
"No it was funny. I tricked her into think I was God's wife and she found out it was only me and hates my guts. Not that I care."
"DO MY PITS SMELL BETTER NOW?" Trè yelled shoving my head into his armpit.
"The smell like cologne," I said.
"Good." Everyone was smiling and I was just sitting there as if unaware of what just happened.
*2 hours later, on the tour bus. Rebyl's POV*
Yes... they are all asleep. Now for my evil plan. *Insert evil laugh here* I walked over to my cabinet where I put all the stuff I bought for tonight. I walked over to my dad's bed and started to put pink blush on his cheeks, bright red lipstick on his lips and light blue eye shadow on his eyelids. I got this pick hair-dye stuff that stays in for 3 days no matter how many times you wash it. I put some in my dad's hair. I went to my room and fell asleep.
"AGGGHH!" I heard from out side of my room. I could tell it was from my dad. I looked over at the clock on the nightstand and it said 6:00. I walked out and saw the effects from last night and started cracking up.
"WHO DID THIS!?" I was laughing too hard to answer.
"What's going on?" Jason walked down and started cracking up at my dad's face. Everyone else was in the room laughing at him.
"I'M NOT KIDDING, WHO DID THIS?"
"Not me," I said with an innocent look on my face. I was still laughing really hard. Everyone else said not me and my plan was working perfectly. The next night I would do it to myself to make it seem like someone else did it, and then I would strike everyone but Trè. It's so simple, yet so brilliant.
The concert that night went well, other than some guy pissing my dad off, so my dad jumped into the crowd and beat the shit out of him, it was hilarious. Then my dad's hair was still pick, Oh and then there was Mike and I, you see, there is this song an American Idiot called Jesus of Suburbia. Mike and I were bored so we started singing it.
We got to the part where it goes, "To live, and not to breathe, is to die, in tragedy" and when we sang, "To live and not to breathe" Mike said in a small voice "and not to breathe, yo." with his finger in the air doing the little pointy thing that gangsters do. So at the concert he only did the little pointy thing, and we both started cracking up to the point where we were on the floor rolling around. The whole song stopped and people in the crowd were laughing. My dad was yelling at us and Trè held his face in his hands in shame. The concert did continue... eventually.
So now we are back on the tour bus. By 2:00 everyone was asleep. I got my bag with the make-up in it and went into the bathroom and turned the lights on. I did the same thing to myself that I did to my dad, hid the bag, and went back to sleep.
"Who did it?" I said, walking out of my room. The room burst out laughing. I washed the make-up off and looked at my hair. Today was Saturday so there wasn't a concert. I slept in until 11:00 along with pretty much everyone else. I was thinking Ronny would be my next victim, but then I realized we were staying in a hotel tonight and I was sharing one with Mike, Trè, and my dad. Ronny wasn't in my room.
As I was pondering this, the bus stopped in front of a store. We all got off of the bus and walked into the store. People were giving my dad and I weird looks because of the pink hair. I saw a magazine with a picture of last night's concert. It was of Mike and I rolling about the floor and my dad yelling at us. I realized it was a teenie mag.
"Did the Green Day hottie dye his hair to turn on his wife? Or did he do it for his image? Find out from an exclusive interview inside Page 26. Liars, no way could my dad have done an interview, I've been with him all he time since tour. Whatever. I was really craving an apple, which I know sounds weird, but I was. I walked to the back of the store and grabbed one. I started to eat it. I found everyone else and we walked up to the cashier station.
"I'm buying an apple."
"Ok." I threw away the core of the apple and walked out to the bus. Everyone else joined me in a matter of minutes and we were off.
"Dad, we don't have to be there for 3 days, what are we going to do for 3 days?"
"I was thinking we go to the movies!"
"Ok."
"Or go bowling or putt-putting or-"
"Ok, I get your point."
That afternoon we went to a movie and went mini-golfing then we went bowling. I beat everyone's ass in mini-golfing and got 2nd to Jason in bowling. Jason's dad was a pro bowler so there was no way anyone was beating him. That night after everyone was asleep I was going to do the make-up thing to Mike but I didn't want to risk being a suspect, and besides my make-up bag thing was in the bus and the bus was in a parking garage in the middle of downtown, whatever city we're in, Germany.
I couldn't fall asleep that night so I just went into the living room part of the hotel room and watched TV until I heard a high-pitched girly cream from the bedroom. I ran in there to see my dad brushing himself off ferociously and Mike asking what was wrong over and over again and Trè cracking up at the sight.
"Little... Black... bugs! Ah! Get 'em off! Get 'em off!" I walked over and the little bugs looked like lice.
"Dad, it looks like you have body lice!"
"Are you kidding me?"
"Nope, go see a doctor," I ordered. He just stared at me blankly. "STAT!"
"Ok, ok, just let me put on so pants and a shirt." He put on his shirt and pants and walked out of the door with me following him.
"Why does bad stuff ALWAYS happen to me in Germany? First I almost fall off a bridge in 1993 and then I piss in a suitcase without knowing and now this... I hate Germany, and Kentucky."
"Why do you hate Kentucky?"
"I just do."
"O... k." we got the Urgent care center and my dad and I walked in.
"Hello, I seem to have gotten body lice," my dad said.
"Please go sit next to everyone else," the receptionist said as she pointed to a bunch of other people with the same little black bugs that my dad had at the the same time looking at us weird because of the pink hair.
"Um, you don't understand, I have a concert in 2 days time, I have to get some sleep, so I need out of here ASAP."
"Oh, wait, you're that guy in the middle of my son's posters the lead singer of Green Bay."
"It's Green Day, and yes I am."
"Well, my son is going to your concert so why don't you just go ahead in."
"Thanks," my dad said. I nodded my head but right as I was looking down I saw little black bugs. I have body lice!
"I think I just got body lice too..." I told the lady.
"Follow the man with Mr. Armstrong."
"Ok." I ran after my dad like the lady told me to. They led us into a room and we walked in.
"Rebyl, can you please follow Dr. Heiney (pronounced "HIGH- knee." I took the last name from my old pastor... we called him pastor ass haha.) into the other room?"
"Sure." I walked with a pretty lady into another room. There was a tub of weird liquid in it.
"Pretty much all you have to do is strip down and stay in the tub for a half an hour," she said. "I will alert you when you can get out."
"Okay." She walked out of the room and I sat down in the tub. I sat there, bored for a half an hour until she came back.
"You can get out now. Your dad is waiting outside."
"Okay." I stepped out of the tub and got dressed, then walked out of the room with Dr. Heiney. (who I renamed Dr. Ass because Heiney - Butt... yeah...) My dad was waiting out there, lice free. We filled out paperwork and walked back to the hotel.
"How'd it go?" Trè asked.
"We took a bath in this tingly liquid and came out lice free," I said.
"Oh, cool."
"Yeah..." I looked at the clock and it said 6:23. I might as well catch up on sleep. I lie down on the couch and fell asleep.
*Knock, Knock*
I woke up and answered the door to see a fully dressed Freezer standing on the other side.
"Hey, do you guys want to go to breakfast?"
"What time is it?" he looked at his watch and told me it was 7:00.
"Ah what the hell, I have nothing else to do. Is anyone else going?"
"Nobody else unless any of your roomies want to go."
"Most likely not. I'm not even going to ask."
"Ok. Go get ready and I'll meet you at the free buffet thing."
"Ok." I walked in and got dressed and walked downstairs to see Freezer at the buffet. I walked over and grabbed a plate. I filled my plate with pastries, toast, cereal, and a pancake. I sat down next to Freezer (who is Jason Freeze if you haven't figured that out yet.) and started eating.
"I left a note to the guys telling them where I was going, so they might come down."
"Okay." Right after Freezer said that I heard footsteps behind me.
"Speak of the devil," Freezer said. Everyone else sat down except Ronny and Jason, who didn't come down.
"Hey..." I said.
"Hello, so any sight of the little black bugs?"
"What?" Ronny asked.
"We woke up this morning with body lice and we had to go to the hospital blah, blah, blah you get my point," my dad explained.
"Oh, nice job."
"Yesh, it werz furny wartching biwwie danshing" Trè said with a mouth full of food.
"Eat with your mouth closed please!" Mike said.
"Make me! Aaaaaaa!" He opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue to reveal that he was eating toast and eggs.
"Ew," Mike said simply.
*On the tour bus 2 days later... Rebyl's POV*
I was just walking about the bus aimlessly when I heard soft singing. I walked towards it and I saw my dad doing dishes, shaking his butt singing sexy back.
"I'm bringing sexy back YEAH, them other fuckers don't know how to act. YEAH. I think your special what's behind your back so turn around and I'll pick up the slack.
Take em' to the bridge."
I started singing next. "Dirty babe, you see these shackles baby. I'm your slave, I'll let you whip me if I misbehave, it's just no one makes me feel this way." My dad turned around and started singing with me then we heard another voice start singing.
"Come here girl
Go ahead, be gone with it
Come to the back
Go ahead, be gone with it
VIP
Go ahead, be gone with it
Drinks on me
Go ahead, be gone with it
Let me see what you're working with
Go ahead, be gone with it
Look at those hips
Go ahead, be gone with it
You make me smile
Go ahead, be gone with it
Go ahead child
Go ahead, be gone with it
And get your sexy on
Go ahead, be gone with it
Get your sexy on
Go ahead, be gone with it." My dad, Trè and I kept singing and shaking our asses when Mike came in.
"I think I'll come back later."
"Suit yourself," my dad said.
"Um, we have a problem," I said.
"What?"
"I don't know the rest of the song... "
"Oh, me either."
"LET'S SING RIDIN' DIRTY!"
"LET'S SING THE WEIRD AL VERSION YAY!" (Once again, we'll just pretend it was invented)
"They see me mowing, my front lawn, they all think that I'm just to white and nerdy!"
"SHUT UP I'M TRYING TO TALK TO ROB ON THE PHONE!" Mike yelled from downstairs. He usually handles everything with Reprise but my dad does a lot too.
"FINE!" Trè yelled back. We all walked over to the sink where the dished were and started helping my dad wash them. There were a lot since this is the first time we actually washed dishes since tour started. Damn, we're slobs!
"What d'ya say we just have McDonalds or go out to eat the rest of tour?" I asked.
"Sounds good to me. I'm gonna go tell Rick to take us there now. I'm hungry." My dad inquired.
"Sounds good to me."
"Ok" He walked downstairs.
"So Trè, what's up?"
"Not, much. Can't wait to get back to the US, I'm afraid I'm gonna get body lice now."
"It's not that bad, just itchy, but the bath tingles."
"Haha, wow, tingles,"
"You're weird"
"Yes I am!" he said, puffing out his chest proudly. I just rolled my eyes.
"Do NOT roll your eye at me missy!" I just rolled my eyes again. "Do you hear me?" Those words went through my head over and over again. Those are the words I heard all the time from Rodger.
"Do you hear me bitch?" or "Do you hear me slut?" was all I ever heard from him. All I could think about was life with him. What's if he finds me? He would kill my dad and everything. What am I gonna do? My breathing became heavy.
"Rebyl, are you okay?" Trè asked. I couldn't respond. What is with Trè and finding me in these positions? I tried to take deep breaths but it wasn't working. I sank to the floor and my vision left me but I was still aware of everything going on. I still kept thinking about everything with Rodger. I'm scared. What if he finds me?
"BILLIE, COME HERE QUICK!" I heard my dad rushing up the stairs with Mike and Freezer. My dad sank to his knees whispering something about a panic attack. Goddamn, why cant I just talk and tell him I'm fine.
"Rebyl wake up, come on."
"I'm fine," I said.
"Really?" slowly my vision returned and I could stand up. I stood up and hugged my dad, but I tried not to cry so I bit my lip.
"Rebyl, did I say something?" Trè asked.
"Yeah, when you said 'do you hear me?' it reminded me of Rodger. He said that to me all the time. I just got to thinking about what will happen if he finds me that I just kind of had a panic attack," I said with a slight giggle at the end.
"Oh well if that's all it is... " my dad said sarcastically. "Now, downstairs to your bed, you know what happens after a panic attack and I would rather you pass out on your bed than, with your luck, fall and get a concussion."
"Yeah, okay." I walked down the steps and into mine and Mike's room I lay down on the bed and picked up my mobile and called Stella.
*Ring, ring, ring, ring*
"Hello?"
"Hey Stella what's up?"
"Homework, I would give anything to be you right now."
"I feel for you."
"So how's tour going? These stupid detectives are following all of us around everywhere. It's pretty annoying."
"I'm sorry but it's better than being 6 feet under the ground right?"
"True. So has there been any sign of the dipwad?"
"Dipwad, that's new, and nope not yet, thank God."
"Really, let's just hope he never turns up."
"Well, maybe if he's turned up behind bars... or in a straight jacket. Haha, Rodger in a straight jacket, that would be fun to watch."
"I've never even met the guy and that sounds funny."
"Trust me, it would be hilarious."
"I believe you."
"So, has Frankie been behaving?"
"Yes, except he got expelled for destroying school property. Trè still doesn't know."
"Oh! Can I tell him?"
"Sure."
"HEY TRE COME HERE!"
"What?" he asked rushing into my room.
"Frankie got expelled."
"Really? Are you talking to him?"
"No this is Stella."
"Oh. I'm gonna go call him and congratulate him."
"You do that Trè."
"Oh, Stella I have another call, can I call you back later?"
"Yeah, talk to you soon."
"Ok. Bye!"
"Bye." I beeped over to the other call.
"Hello?"
"Hey honey."
"Hey Mom, what's up?"
"Nothing, just called to see how tour's going."
"Not too bad. Very tiring and some of it is stressful."
"Yeah, don't worry Rebyl, they'll catch him. Those detectives follow us everywhere though. How about you?"
"Just in the FBI truck thing. They're also the security guards at the concert."
"I see."
"LET ME TALK TO HER!" I heard Joey in the background.
"Ok, here Joey."
"REBYL!"
"Hey Joey, how are you?"
"I'm good. We went to the zoo yesterday and there were BABY gorillas! I got to hold one! It was SO cool!" You could just see the excitement in his deep brown eyes.
"WHOA! Baby gorillas!"
"Yeah! Have you ever petted a gorilla?"
"Well I held one once."
"Really? Do you remember his name?"
"Yeah, his name is Joey Armstrong and he lives at 326 Riggsby Rd. Oakland, California."
"A BABY GORILLA LIVES AT OUR HOUSE... wait... I'm not a gorilla!" I love that kid. I giggled a little bit.
"Yeah, you are!"
"MOM, REBYL CALLED ME A GORILLA!"
"I don't want to know." I heard my mom yell.
"I'm just kidding Joey, you're not a gorilla."
"No, I am but only if you're a... um... llama."
"Fine then."
"Cool." I swear, he is just like me.
"So, when are you coming home?"
"In 6 months."
"How many is that?"
"Hold up 5 fingers."
"Okay."
"And then put another one up."
"Okay. Whoa! That's a lot of months! How many days?" I grabbed my dad's calculator off of the side table in the living room and walked back into my room.
"About 180 days."
"Whoa! That's a lot of days!"
"Yeah, I know."
"Me talk! Me talk!" I heard Jakob in the back round.
"Let me talk to Jake."
"Ok."
"Hewwo Webby!"
"Hey Jake, your talking better!"
"Uh-huh! Tanks for da ting from Eggand dat you sended me."
"No problem." I chuckled. I sent him a Big Ben snow globe thing from England. I also got him a stuffed dog from the England Build-A-Bear and named it Jakob. I love Build-a-Bear, so fun... I have 3 in my collection now haha. I'm trying to collect them all. Stella got me into it.
"Well, mommy wants ta talk ta ya."
"Ok, bye-bye Jake."
"Buhbye."
"They miss you so much Rebyl. I can tell, well I got to go. We have a daytime concert tomorrow so that means I have to get some sleep. I have to wake up at 4:00 tomorrow morning, exciting."
"Ok sweetie, goodnight, even though it would be good morning here, but, yeah."
"Alright mom, g'night."
"Bye." I hung up the phone and set my alarm... I really didn't feel like waking up to my dad hitting the pan so I set my alarm for 3:50. Well, I get a whole 5 hours of sleep, yeah!" I tossed and turned for the next maybe 3 hours, trying to get a comfortable position until finally, sleep overtook me and I was engulfed in my dreams.
*BEEP, BEEP, BEEP*
I picked up my alarm and threw it at the wall. It busted and Mike screamed like a little girl.
"FUCK, Rebyl, you just scared the living shit out of me!"
"Sorry, I get mad at alarm clocks."
"Well, your dad could almost be an alarm clock and I don't see you throwing him at the wall!" Mike snarled. He obviously hadn't had his coffee yet.
*BANG, BANG, BANG*
"Oh, you're already awake, well get up!"
"Ok Dad." I walked over and turned on the light. I walked into the bathroom and stepped into the shower and started to wash my hair. I got out and dressed. We all walked off the tour bus and I walked behind my dad in the back of the line. All of a sudden I felt a pair of arms grab me.
"Scream and I kill you." I heard the dreaded voice of Rodger.
When they screamed Green Day it seemed as though all nervousness left me. I wasn't afraid of anything. I grabbed my guitar and ran out on stage with my dad, Trè and Mike right behind us, and then everyone else. I took my place at the mike as my dad played the opening to American Idiot. We played many more songs until we came to the final song, Good Riddance.
This was a song my dad and I wrote together, about his dad and my friends in Ohio. As we started playing everyone walked off the stage but me. I didn't even notice my dad left, he was supposed to stay on stage with me. I finished and the fire things went off and my dad appeared next to me along with everyone else.
"THANKS FOR COMING OUT TONIGHT, YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN A GREAT AUDIENCE," my dad yelled from the stage. Trè bowed and pretended to start jacking off, I just kind of waved, positive that my face was as red as my dad's tie. We walked back stage and every one exploded in a burst of chatter.
"Rebyl, you were amazing singing Good Riddance, I never heard you sing that well."
"I usually don't get [i]that<i/>into the song, but tonight I just did. Where did you go when you walked off stage?"
"I had to take a piss really bad."
"Oh so leave me all alone on stage will you?" I said sarcastically.
"You did fine."
"Yeah, ok." I looked over and smelt BO. I realized that Trè was waving to someone and I just stuck my nose right into his armpit. I turned around and gagged and everyone started laughing. Trè turned back with an innocent look on his face.
"What are we laughing about?" He saw me gagging and was really confused. I ran into the dressing room and grabbed the coffee to smell it and get the Trè BO smell off of my mind. They walked in and automatically started laughing, except for those who hadn't stopped, just laughed harder.
"Shut up guys," I said. So they told Trè I guess because he was giggling like a mad man.
"Trè would you please go take a shower?"
"Oh fine, I see you don't like my manly smell!" He fake stormed into the men's shower rooms. All the other guys followed and I went to the woman's shower room. I heard someone walk in. It sounded like Paris Hilton giggling. Oh my god, her concert was tonight too. If she is here I'll punch her in her slutty face. I finished my shower and heard her singing to "Stars are blind." I hate that song.
"Shut up would you Paris, goddamn!"
"Who was that?" I decided to toy with her brain.
"God's wife!" I boomed.
"What?"
"Your pound cake has sinned Paris, you will now have to burn in the fiery depths of hello kitty, and the only way to save yourself is to screw George's butt!" I realized that made no sense. It is the author and her friend's insider.
"Oh my gosh God's wife, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me!"
"The only way you can save yourself is to find a man named George and screw him in the butt!"
"Ok, my agent's name is George, I will screw him tonight!"
"That is good, while you are doing that you must yell 'I am a slut, I am a slut!'"
"I will, I promise!" you could hear the nervousness in her voice. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I burst out laughing.
"What is so funny?"
"You dumbfuck! I'm not God's wife, God doesn't have a wife stupid!"
"So who are you then?" she got out of the shower in just her bra and underwear.
"AH I'M BLINDED!"
"Rebyl Jayde Armstrong! You are a bitch, but your dad is sexy. Oh an my dearest daddy will be hearing about this."
"Yeah, okay, whatever, see you Hilton, and good riddance asshole!"
"Good-bye Armstrong." I walked out and into my dressing room where everyone but Trè was seated.
"Guess who I just met."
"Who?"
"Paris Hilton."
"I feel for you."
"No it was funny. I tricked her into think I was God's wife and she found out it was only me and hates my guts. Not that I care."
"DO MY PITS SMELL BETTER NOW?" Trè yelled shoving my head into his armpit.
"The smell like cologne," I said.
"Good." Everyone was smiling and I was just sitting there as if unaware of what just happened.
*2 hours later, on the tour bus. Rebyl's POV*
Yes... they are all asleep. Now for my evil plan. *Insert evil laugh here* I walked over to my cabinet where I put all the stuff I bought for tonight. I walked over to my dad's bed and started to put pink blush on his cheeks, bright red lipstick on his lips and light blue eye shadow on his eyelids. I got this pick hair-dye stuff that stays in for 3 days no matter how many times you wash it. I put some in my dad's hair. I went to my room and fell asleep.
"AGGGHH!" I heard from out side of my room. I could tell it was from my dad. I looked over at the clock on the nightstand and it said 6:00. I walked out and saw the effects from last night and started cracking up.
"WHO DID THIS!?" I was laughing too hard to answer.
"What's going on?" Jason walked down and started cracking up at my dad's face. Everyone else was in the room laughing at him.
"I'M NOT KIDDING, WHO DID THIS?"
"Not me," I said with an innocent look on my face. I was still laughing really hard. Everyone else said not me and my plan was working perfectly. The next night I would do it to myself to make it seem like someone else did it, and then I would strike everyone but Trè. It's so simple, yet so brilliant.
The concert that night went well, other than some guy pissing my dad off, so my dad jumped into the crowd and beat the shit out of him, it was hilarious. Then my dad's hair was still pick, Oh and then there was Mike and I, you see, there is this song an American Idiot called Jesus of Suburbia. Mike and I were bored so we started singing it.
We got to the part where it goes, "To live, and not to breathe, is to die, in tragedy" and when we sang, "To live and not to breathe" Mike said in a small voice "and not to breathe, yo." with his finger in the air doing the little pointy thing that gangsters do. So at the concert he only did the little pointy thing, and we both started cracking up to the point where we were on the floor rolling around. The whole song stopped and people in the crowd were laughing. My dad was yelling at us and Trè held his face in his hands in shame. The concert did continue... eventually.
So now we are back on the tour bus. By 2:00 everyone was asleep. I got my bag with the make-up in it and went into the bathroom and turned the lights on. I did the same thing to myself that I did to my dad, hid the bag, and went back to sleep.
"Who did it?" I said, walking out of my room. The room burst out laughing. I washed the make-up off and looked at my hair. Today was Saturday so there wasn't a concert. I slept in until 11:00 along with pretty much everyone else. I was thinking Ronny would be my next victim, but then I realized we were staying in a hotel tonight and I was sharing one with Mike, Trè, and my dad. Ronny wasn't in my room.
As I was pondering this, the bus stopped in front of a store. We all got off of the bus and walked into the store. People were giving my dad and I weird looks because of the pink hair. I saw a magazine with a picture of last night's concert. It was of Mike and I rolling about the floor and my dad yelling at us. I realized it was a teenie mag.
"Did the Green Day hottie dye his hair to turn on his wife? Or did he do it for his image? Find out from an exclusive interview inside Page 26. Liars, no way could my dad have done an interview, I've been with him all he time since tour. Whatever. I was really craving an apple, which I know sounds weird, but I was. I walked to the back of the store and grabbed one. I started to eat it. I found everyone else and we walked up to the cashier station.
"I'm buying an apple."
"Ok." I threw away the core of the apple and walked out to the bus. Everyone else joined me in a matter of minutes and we were off.
"Dad, we don't have to be there for 3 days, what are we going to do for 3 days?"
"I was thinking we go to the movies!"
"Ok."
"Or go bowling or putt-putting or-"
"Ok, I get your point."
That afternoon we went to a movie and went mini-golfing then we went bowling. I beat everyone's ass in mini-golfing and got 2nd to Jason in bowling. Jason's dad was a pro bowler so there was no way anyone was beating him. That night after everyone was asleep I was going to do the make-up thing to Mike but I didn't want to risk being a suspect, and besides my make-up bag thing was in the bus and the bus was in a parking garage in the middle of downtown, whatever city we're in, Germany.
I couldn't fall asleep that night so I just went into the living room part of the hotel room and watched TV until I heard a high-pitched girly cream from the bedroom. I ran in there to see my dad brushing himself off ferociously and Mike asking what was wrong over and over again and Trè cracking up at the sight.
"Little... Black... bugs! Ah! Get 'em off! Get 'em off!" I walked over and the little bugs looked like lice.
"Dad, it looks like you have body lice!"
"Are you kidding me?"
"Nope, go see a doctor," I ordered. He just stared at me blankly. "STAT!"
"Ok, ok, just let me put on so pants and a shirt." He put on his shirt and pants and walked out of the door with me following him.
"Why does bad stuff ALWAYS happen to me in Germany? First I almost fall off a bridge in 1993 and then I piss in a suitcase without knowing and now this... I hate Germany, and Kentucky."
"Why do you hate Kentucky?"
"I just do."
"O... k." we got the Urgent care center and my dad and I walked in.
"Hello, I seem to have gotten body lice," my dad said.
"Please go sit next to everyone else," the receptionist said as she pointed to a bunch of other people with the same little black bugs that my dad had at the the same time looking at us weird because of the pink hair.
"Um, you don't understand, I have a concert in 2 days time, I have to get some sleep, so I need out of here ASAP."
"Oh, wait, you're that guy in the middle of my son's posters the lead singer of Green Bay."
"It's Green Day, and yes I am."
"Well, my son is going to your concert so why don't you just go ahead in."
"Thanks," my dad said. I nodded my head but right as I was looking down I saw little black bugs. I have body lice!
"I think I just got body lice too..." I told the lady.
"Follow the man with Mr. Armstrong."
"Ok." I ran after my dad like the lady told me to. They led us into a room and we walked in.
"Rebyl, can you please follow Dr. Heiney (pronounced "HIGH- knee." I took the last name from my old pastor... we called him pastor ass haha.) into the other room?"
"Sure." I walked with a pretty lady into another room. There was a tub of weird liquid in it.
"Pretty much all you have to do is strip down and stay in the tub for a half an hour," she said. "I will alert you when you can get out."
"Okay." She walked out of the room and I sat down in the tub. I sat there, bored for a half an hour until she came back.
"You can get out now. Your dad is waiting outside."
"Okay." I stepped out of the tub and got dressed, then walked out of the room with Dr. Heiney. (who I renamed Dr. Ass because Heiney - Butt... yeah...) My dad was waiting out there, lice free. We filled out paperwork and walked back to the hotel.
"How'd it go?" Trè asked.
"We took a bath in this tingly liquid and came out lice free," I said.
"Oh, cool."
"Yeah..." I looked at the clock and it said 6:23. I might as well catch up on sleep. I lie down on the couch and fell asleep.
*Knock, Knock*
I woke up and answered the door to see a fully dressed Freezer standing on the other side.
"Hey, do you guys want to go to breakfast?"
"What time is it?" he looked at his watch and told me it was 7:00.
"Ah what the hell, I have nothing else to do. Is anyone else going?"
"Nobody else unless any of your roomies want to go."
"Most likely not. I'm not even going to ask."
"Ok. Go get ready and I'll meet you at the free buffet thing."
"Ok." I walked in and got dressed and walked downstairs to see Freezer at the buffet. I walked over and grabbed a plate. I filled my plate with pastries, toast, cereal, and a pancake. I sat down next to Freezer (who is Jason Freeze if you haven't figured that out yet.) and started eating.
"I left a note to the guys telling them where I was going, so they might come down."
"Okay." Right after Freezer said that I heard footsteps behind me.
"Speak of the devil," Freezer said. Everyone else sat down except Ronny and Jason, who didn't come down.
"Hey..." I said.
"Hello, so any sight of the little black bugs?"
"What?" Ronny asked.
"We woke up this morning with body lice and we had to go to the hospital blah, blah, blah you get my point," my dad explained.
"Oh, nice job."
"Yesh, it werz furny wartching biwwie danshing" Trè said with a mouth full of food.
"Eat with your mouth closed please!" Mike said.
"Make me! Aaaaaaa!" He opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue to reveal that he was eating toast and eggs.
"Ew," Mike said simply.
*On the tour bus 2 days later... Rebyl's POV*
I was just walking about the bus aimlessly when I heard soft singing. I walked towards it and I saw my dad doing dishes, shaking his butt singing sexy back.
"I'm bringing sexy back YEAH, them other fuckers don't know how to act. YEAH. I think your special what's behind your back so turn around and I'll pick up the slack.
Take em' to the bridge."
I started singing next. "Dirty babe, you see these shackles baby. I'm your slave, I'll let you whip me if I misbehave, it's just no one makes me feel this way." My dad turned around and started singing with me then we heard another voice start singing.
"Come here girl
Go ahead, be gone with it
Come to the back
Go ahead, be gone with it
VIP
Go ahead, be gone with it
Drinks on me
Go ahead, be gone with it
Let me see what you're working with
Go ahead, be gone with it
Look at those hips
Go ahead, be gone with it
You make me smile
Go ahead, be gone with it
Go ahead child
Go ahead, be gone with it
And get your sexy on
Go ahead, be gone with it
Get your sexy on
Go ahead, be gone with it." My dad, Trè and I kept singing and shaking our asses when Mike came in.
"I think I'll come back later."
"Suit yourself," my dad said.
"Um, we have a problem," I said.
"What?"
"I don't know the rest of the song... "
"Oh, me either."
"LET'S SING RIDIN' DIRTY!"
"LET'S SING THE WEIRD AL VERSION YAY!" (Once again, we'll just pretend it was invented)
"They see me mowing, my front lawn, they all think that I'm just to white and nerdy!"
"SHUT UP I'M TRYING TO TALK TO ROB ON THE PHONE!" Mike yelled from downstairs. He usually handles everything with Reprise but my dad does a lot too.
"FINE!" Trè yelled back. We all walked over to the sink where the dished were and started helping my dad wash them. There were a lot since this is the first time we actually washed dishes since tour started. Damn, we're slobs!
"What d'ya say we just have McDonalds or go out to eat the rest of tour?" I asked.
"Sounds good to me. I'm gonna go tell Rick to take us there now. I'm hungry." My dad inquired.
"Sounds good to me."
"Ok" He walked downstairs.
"So Trè, what's up?"
"Not, much. Can't wait to get back to the US, I'm afraid I'm gonna get body lice now."
"It's not that bad, just itchy, but the bath tingles."
"Haha, wow, tingles,"
"You're weird"
"Yes I am!" he said, puffing out his chest proudly. I just rolled my eyes.
"Do NOT roll your eye at me missy!" I just rolled my eyes again. "Do you hear me?" Those words went through my head over and over again. Those are the words I heard all the time from Rodger.
"Do you hear me bitch?" or "Do you hear me slut?" was all I ever heard from him. All I could think about was life with him. What's if he finds me? He would kill my dad and everything. What am I gonna do? My breathing became heavy.
"Rebyl, are you okay?" Trè asked. I couldn't respond. What is with Trè and finding me in these positions? I tried to take deep breaths but it wasn't working. I sank to the floor and my vision left me but I was still aware of everything going on. I still kept thinking about everything with Rodger. I'm scared. What if he finds me?
"BILLIE, COME HERE QUICK!" I heard my dad rushing up the stairs with Mike and Freezer. My dad sank to his knees whispering something about a panic attack. Goddamn, why cant I just talk and tell him I'm fine.
"Rebyl wake up, come on."
"I'm fine," I said.
"Really?" slowly my vision returned and I could stand up. I stood up and hugged my dad, but I tried not to cry so I bit my lip.
"Rebyl, did I say something?" Trè asked.
"Yeah, when you said 'do you hear me?' it reminded me of Rodger. He said that to me all the time. I just got to thinking about what will happen if he finds me that I just kind of had a panic attack," I said with a slight giggle at the end.
"Oh well if that's all it is... " my dad said sarcastically. "Now, downstairs to your bed, you know what happens after a panic attack and I would rather you pass out on your bed than, with your luck, fall and get a concussion."
"Yeah, okay." I walked down the steps and into mine and Mike's room I lay down on the bed and picked up my mobile and called Stella.
*Ring, ring, ring, ring*
"Hello?"
"Hey Stella what's up?"
"Homework, I would give anything to be you right now."
"I feel for you."
"So how's tour going? These stupid detectives are following all of us around everywhere. It's pretty annoying."
"I'm sorry but it's better than being 6 feet under the ground right?"
"True. So has there been any sign of the dipwad?"
"Dipwad, that's new, and nope not yet, thank God."
"Really, let's just hope he never turns up."
"Well, maybe if he's turned up behind bars... or in a straight jacket. Haha, Rodger in a straight jacket, that would be fun to watch."
"I've never even met the guy and that sounds funny."
"Trust me, it would be hilarious."
"I believe you."
"So, has Frankie been behaving?"
"Yes, except he got expelled for destroying school property. Trè still doesn't know."
"Oh! Can I tell him?"
"Sure."
"HEY TRE COME HERE!"
"What?" he asked rushing into my room.
"Frankie got expelled."
"Really? Are you talking to him?"
"No this is Stella."
"Oh. I'm gonna go call him and congratulate him."
"You do that Trè."
"Oh, Stella I have another call, can I call you back later?"
"Yeah, talk to you soon."
"Ok. Bye!"
"Bye." I beeped over to the other call.
"Hello?"
"Hey honey."
"Hey Mom, what's up?"
"Nothing, just called to see how tour's going."
"Not too bad. Very tiring and some of it is stressful."
"Yeah, don't worry Rebyl, they'll catch him. Those detectives follow us everywhere though. How about you?"
"Just in the FBI truck thing. They're also the security guards at the concert."
"I see."
"LET ME TALK TO HER!" I heard Joey in the background.
"Ok, here Joey."
"REBYL!"
"Hey Joey, how are you?"
"I'm good. We went to the zoo yesterday and there were BABY gorillas! I got to hold one! It was SO cool!" You could just see the excitement in his deep brown eyes.
"WHOA! Baby gorillas!"
"Yeah! Have you ever petted a gorilla?"
"Well I held one once."
"Really? Do you remember his name?"
"Yeah, his name is Joey Armstrong and he lives at 326 Riggsby Rd. Oakland, California."
"A BABY GORILLA LIVES AT OUR HOUSE... wait... I'm not a gorilla!" I love that kid. I giggled a little bit.
"Yeah, you are!"
"MOM, REBYL CALLED ME A GORILLA!"
"I don't want to know." I heard my mom yell.
"I'm just kidding Joey, you're not a gorilla."
"No, I am but only if you're a... um... llama."
"Fine then."
"Cool." I swear, he is just like me.
"So, when are you coming home?"
"In 6 months."
"How many is that?"
"Hold up 5 fingers."
"Okay."
"And then put another one up."
"Okay. Whoa! That's a lot of months! How many days?" I grabbed my dad's calculator off of the side table in the living room and walked back into my room.
"About 180 days."
"Whoa! That's a lot of days!"
"Yeah, I know."
"Me talk! Me talk!" I heard Jakob in the back round.
"Let me talk to Jake."
"Ok."
"Hewwo Webby!"
"Hey Jake, your talking better!"
"Uh-huh! Tanks for da ting from Eggand dat you sended me."
"No problem." I chuckled. I sent him a Big Ben snow globe thing from England. I also got him a stuffed dog from the England Build-A-Bear and named it Jakob. I love Build-a-Bear, so fun... I have 3 in my collection now haha. I'm trying to collect them all. Stella got me into it.
"Well, mommy wants ta talk ta ya."
"Ok, bye-bye Jake."
"Buhbye."
"They miss you so much Rebyl. I can tell, well I got to go. We have a daytime concert tomorrow so that means I have to get some sleep. I have to wake up at 4:00 tomorrow morning, exciting."
"Ok sweetie, goodnight, even though it would be good morning here, but, yeah."
"Alright mom, g'night."
"Bye." I hung up the phone and set my alarm... I really didn't feel like waking up to my dad hitting the pan so I set my alarm for 3:50. Well, I get a whole 5 hours of sleep, yeah!" I tossed and turned for the next maybe 3 hours, trying to get a comfortable position until finally, sleep overtook me and I was engulfed in my dreams.
*BEEP, BEEP, BEEP*
I picked up my alarm and threw it at the wall. It busted and Mike screamed like a little girl.
"FUCK, Rebyl, you just scared the living shit out of me!"
"Sorry, I get mad at alarm clocks."
"Well, your dad could almost be an alarm clock and I don't see you throwing him at the wall!" Mike snarled. He obviously hadn't had his coffee yet.
*BANG, BANG, BANG*
"Oh, you're already awake, well get up!"
"Ok Dad." I walked over and turned on the light. I walked into the bathroom and stepped into the shower and started to wash my hair. I got out and dressed. We all walked off the tour bus and I walked behind my dad in the back of the line. All of a sudden I felt a pair of arms grab me.
"Scream and I kill you." I heard the dreaded voice of Rodger.
