How pathetic, I’m in love with my best friend!, chapter 1
"FREAK!" some preppy girl screamed at me, but frankly I don't care. They can call me what they want, it won't bother me one bit. I'd rather be me than another clone like them. I don't have many friends. It's too hard to trust someone and when you Think you can trust someone? They just shove it back in your face.
So what, I like to wear band t-shirts, black, and wrist bands. I don't wear them just to be called a freak or loser I wear them to be me.
My true friends call me remix, but my really name is Chloe Andrews. I'm 16 years of age and live in Berkley, California. My best friend is a boy called Alex Porter. Oh look, one friend! Go me, but right now he isn't talking to me because I fucked it up again. I don't want to tell him my problem. I can't! What really ticked me off was when I saw what this other girl wrote on her xanga page. She is nothing but a whore. She's 15 and he boyfriend is 21! She asked Alex out and another guy to while she's going out with that guy.
She uses guys, but they don't see it. Well, she went out with Alex before, that's when she was my friend, and I new she was just trying to have sex with him. It makes me sick in the stomach to think about it. He was hopelessly in love with her and she kicked him to the curb. And guess who was there to pick up the pieces! If you guessed me, you're right. No one should do that to him, he doesn't deserve it! Also, if you guessed I'm hopelessly in love with him you're right again.
So since he's mad at me I'm alone well except for my puppy. She's been keeping me company. Okay, now onward with thee story.
6:59 Am, Monday morning
Oh no I couldn't possibly accept this award for being...BEEP BEEP! Eh?
BEEP BEEP
Stupid alarm clock, time for hell. So, I guess I have to get out of bed now. Not really a morning person.
After I finally get out of bed I get a shower and give it a concert. It's the only place I can sing without getting criticized. I know my singing is good, but I'm too shy to sing for anyone. Okay now I'm done so I put on a ramones T-shirt, black jeans, my wristbands, and my red and black chucks. Then it is to school for me...Great.
So I get to my bus stop to wait because I'm too lazy to walk to school. After waiting for about 5 minutes practicing singing the bus finally comes. I get on and go straight to the back where there isn't a lot of people. Once again I'm alone in the seat which is quite comforting. This way I can write my songs without being disturbed.
I'm trying to finish my song 'I don't Wanna' when I feel someone breathing down my neck. It was freaking me out quite a bit. I looked behind me to see a pair of brown eyes looking at me. It was Alex...
"I thought you were pissed at me?"
"It's kind of hard to stay mad at you."
"I don't deserve friends or to live."
"Yes you fucking do!"
"I'm just a fuck up!"
"No you're not, you're anything but that."
"A loser then!"
"Erg, I meant positive things!"
"Be specific next time, mkay?"
"See, this is exactly why I can't stay mad at you, you're just too cool."
"Okay, now try convincing everyone else."
"You don't need them, but listen my cousin just got a job at this club and I was wondering if you wanted to go Friday night?"
"What kind of club?"
"I don't know some punk club called Gilman Street. Just please come! You'll love it!"
"Fine, I'll go but it better be a good club! Now you wanna skip today?"
"You read my mind."
When they got to school they automatically went out to the football field and sat up in the bleachers to talk.
"So why wouldn't you tell me your problem?"
"Because you wouldn't understand."
"Are you sure about that?"
"No, but I just don't wanna tell you."
"Why Not?"
"Because, you'll get mad."
"I got mad because you wouldn't tell me."
"Alex, I just don't okay?" I said while tears started to stream down my cheeks.
"Chloe, please don't cry." he put his arms around me and pulled me into a hug.
"I can't help it!"
"Please, can you just tell me what's wrong?"
"You may find out soon enough."
Alex's point of view
I just want to stay here all day holding remix in my arms. I just want to tell her how much I really do care for her. I've known her since 7th grade and now we're in 11th. Well my second year of 7th grade. Ehh, I want to forget that. I believe it was love at first site, but I could never tell her that. She'd just get angry with me and never talk to me again. Well, the way I acted the other day was uncalled for. I didn't want to get mad at her, but I don't like when she keeps things from me. Like the time I asked her how she got some bruises and she wouldn't tell me. Well, when I found out I wanted to kill someone.
How could her family do that too her? I mean someone as great as her, how could they? She didn't want me to say anything so I didn't, but the day she came to my house, tears streaming down, is the day I took action. She had bruises all over her body and now her father isn't aloud to see her.
Why does she have to be so perfect? So beautiful, but she is too self conscious. She doesn't realize how beautiful she is so she hides herself behind her hair. It's always over her left eye. If only she saw herself the way I see her. In everyway possible she's perfect to me. I just wish I could tell her all of this.
I had finally calmed her down to the point where she wasn't crying anymore. I hate to see her cry like this. Something must really be bothering her, but I won't ask her again. I don't want to make her cry.
It was second period already so we just talked about random things like music, clothes, and plans for this week.
Then it was lunch time! Yay! So we went inside. No one really cares that we were skipping, they're all used to it by now. So I got some lunch, Chloe didn't she's trying to save her money for a bass guitar. I hate to see her not eating, so I share my food with her.
Before you know it the day is done and over and it's time to go home. So Chloe and I decided to walk home together.
Chloe's point of view
Well today was fun, skipping class with Alex. I really liked when he calmed me down earlier. I feel so save in his arms. I'm hopeless; I need to find some guy to take him off my mind. Wow, that wasn't like me at all, but I can't keep going like this. I'll end up killing myself over him. I just hope he doesn't find out I cut myself because I can't tell him how I feel. Well, time to go home to another hell.
2 hours later still, Chloe's point of view.
I'm just going to sit here in my room and think about song lyrics. God, I suck at writing. I don't know why I didn't give up already.
I heard my mom coming up the stairs. Most likely to yell at me for something I didn't do.
"Hey, I have something to tell you!"
"What is it mom?"
"Get out of my house."
"What?!"
"You heard me, pack your shit and get out, now. You're the reason your father isn't here."
"Fine, whore. I don't care!"
"You have 10 minutes or I'm calling the cops!"
So I pack my things as quickly as I can. Clothes, CD's, two pairs of shoes, and anything else I'll need. I don't really care she kicked me out. But where will I go? Erg, I didn't think of that. ALEX!
So I run down the road, well more like jog because this bag is weighing me down. Luckily it isn't all that far maybe like a mile. All that running in hockey did help.
Okay about 10 minutes later I'm at Alex's door and I'm exhausted. I shouldn't have put so much in this bag. So I knock on the door and Alex's mother answered.
"Hey Mrs. Porter is Alex here? I really need to talk to him."
"Yes honey, come right in. I don't even know why you still knock!"
"Thanks."
"Alex come down here. Chloe wants to see you!"
About a minute later Alex comes down the stairs with his game boy in his hand. We're just that cool that we still play video games!
"Hey Chloe, what's wrong?"
"Can we go to your room? We really need to talk."
"Of course!"
In Alex's room
"So what's up?"
"The whore kicked me out. Do you think I could stay with you? I mean I don't want to be a problem or anything."
"Chloe, you're never a problem. I don't mind and I'm sure my parents won't. They love you!"
"I know."
"Well, I'll just go ask my mom but I'm sure she'll say yes."
"Mkay, I'll just wait here."
"I won't be long."
"And Alex?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you for being an awesome friend."
"You're welcome."
After Alex left the room I got bored so I went to the stand beside his bed and took out his journal. I like reading his songs. I start looking through them when I come across a page that's taped to more the next one. He probably doesn't want anyone to see that, but when I turn to the next page I see spots of red that must have bled through. Fucking no! I have to get those pages apart! Before I can, Alex comes back into the room.
"CHLOE NO!"
"Why Alex? What's written there?"
"Nothing, just please don't look at them."
"Why did you cut yourself?"
"Because!"
"Because why?"
"I just had a reason okay?"
"Tell me!"
"No, you'll get mad!"
"I'll get mad if you don't tell me!"
"Chloe, I just can't okay? You'll find out soon enough!"
"Fine, so what did your mom say?"
"She said of course you can, and to stay as long as you want."
"YaY! Now where am I going to sleep?"
"You can sleep in my bed and I'll take the couch or floor."
"Alex, no it's your bed and I want you to have it."
"But I want you to be comfy!"
"But it's your house and I want you to sleep in your bed."
"I won't sleep in it unless you do!"
"Fine then we'll both sleep in it!"
"Fine! Wanna play video games?"
"Mkayyy!" We're so immature.
"I know that Chloe loves Donkey Kong!"
"Yes she does!"
The hours pass and it's time to go to sleep. YaY! I get to sleep in the same bed as Alex! Okay, that makes me really happy, but it's hopeless. I just remembered I talk in my sleep. I must make sure Alex falls asleep first, but by the looks of it that isn't going to work.
Alex's point of view
I'm happy that I get to sleep in a bed with Chloe, but it's hopeless, she'll never like me. I'm just glad I stopped her before she saw that poem I wrote. It's about my love for her and the red stuff, that's my blood. I can't tell her how I feel because she's my best friend. God, I'm in love with my best friend. It looks like she's asleep. It wouldn't hurt to put my arms around her would it? No, I just want her to feel safe.
Chloe's point of view
How pathetic am I? I'm lying here, thinking about Alex. What the hell? He put his arms around me? God that scared me. So I turn around to face him.
"What the hell Alex?"
"I just want you to feel safe, but if you want I'll move my arms."
"No it's okay, I do feel safer."
And with that we both fell asleep.
So what, I like to wear band t-shirts, black, and wrist bands. I don't wear them just to be called a freak or loser I wear them to be me.
My true friends call me remix, but my really name is Chloe Andrews. I'm 16 years of age and live in Berkley, California. My best friend is a boy called Alex Porter. Oh look, one friend! Go me, but right now he isn't talking to me because I fucked it up again. I don't want to tell him my problem. I can't! What really ticked me off was when I saw what this other girl wrote on her xanga page. She is nothing but a whore. She's 15 and he boyfriend is 21! She asked Alex out and another guy to while she's going out with that guy.
She uses guys, but they don't see it. Well, she went out with Alex before, that's when she was my friend, and I new she was just trying to have sex with him. It makes me sick in the stomach to think about it. He was hopelessly in love with her and she kicked him to the curb. And guess who was there to pick up the pieces! If you guessed me, you're right. No one should do that to him, he doesn't deserve it! Also, if you guessed I'm hopelessly in love with him you're right again.
So since he's mad at me I'm alone well except for my puppy. She's been keeping me company. Okay, now onward with thee story.
6:59 Am, Monday morning
Oh no I couldn't possibly accept this award for being...BEEP BEEP! Eh?
BEEP BEEP
Stupid alarm clock, time for hell. So, I guess I have to get out of bed now. Not really a morning person.
After I finally get out of bed I get a shower and give it a concert. It's the only place I can sing without getting criticized. I know my singing is good, but I'm too shy to sing for anyone. Okay now I'm done so I put on a ramones T-shirt, black jeans, my wristbands, and my red and black chucks. Then it is to school for me...Great.
So I get to my bus stop to wait because I'm too lazy to walk to school. After waiting for about 5 minutes practicing singing the bus finally comes. I get on and go straight to the back where there isn't a lot of people. Once again I'm alone in the seat which is quite comforting. This way I can write my songs without being disturbed.
I'm trying to finish my song 'I don't Wanna' when I feel someone breathing down my neck. It was freaking me out quite a bit. I looked behind me to see a pair of brown eyes looking at me. It was Alex...
"I thought you were pissed at me?"
"It's kind of hard to stay mad at you."
"I don't deserve friends or to live."
"Yes you fucking do!"
"I'm just a fuck up!"
"No you're not, you're anything but that."
"A loser then!"
"Erg, I meant positive things!"
"Be specific next time, mkay?"
"See, this is exactly why I can't stay mad at you, you're just too cool."
"Okay, now try convincing everyone else."
"You don't need them, but listen my cousin just got a job at this club and I was wondering if you wanted to go Friday night?"
"What kind of club?"
"I don't know some punk club called Gilman Street. Just please come! You'll love it!"
"Fine, I'll go but it better be a good club! Now you wanna skip today?"
"You read my mind."
When they got to school they automatically went out to the football field and sat up in the bleachers to talk.
"So why wouldn't you tell me your problem?"
"Because you wouldn't understand."
"Are you sure about that?"
"No, but I just don't wanna tell you."
"Why Not?"
"Because, you'll get mad."
"I got mad because you wouldn't tell me."
"Alex, I just don't okay?" I said while tears started to stream down my cheeks.
"Chloe, please don't cry." he put his arms around me and pulled me into a hug.
"I can't help it!"
"Please, can you just tell me what's wrong?"
"You may find out soon enough."
Alex's point of view
I just want to stay here all day holding remix in my arms. I just want to tell her how much I really do care for her. I've known her since 7th grade and now we're in 11th. Well my second year of 7th grade. Ehh, I want to forget that. I believe it was love at first site, but I could never tell her that. She'd just get angry with me and never talk to me again. Well, the way I acted the other day was uncalled for. I didn't want to get mad at her, but I don't like when she keeps things from me. Like the time I asked her how she got some bruises and she wouldn't tell me. Well, when I found out I wanted to kill someone.
How could her family do that too her? I mean someone as great as her, how could they? She didn't want me to say anything so I didn't, but the day she came to my house, tears streaming down, is the day I took action. She had bruises all over her body and now her father isn't aloud to see her.
Why does she have to be so perfect? So beautiful, but she is too self conscious. She doesn't realize how beautiful she is so she hides herself behind her hair. It's always over her left eye. If only she saw herself the way I see her. In everyway possible she's perfect to me. I just wish I could tell her all of this.
I had finally calmed her down to the point where she wasn't crying anymore. I hate to see her cry like this. Something must really be bothering her, but I won't ask her again. I don't want to make her cry.
It was second period already so we just talked about random things like music, clothes, and plans for this week.
Then it was lunch time! Yay! So we went inside. No one really cares that we were skipping, they're all used to it by now. So I got some lunch, Chloe didn't she's trying to save her money for a bass guitar. I hate to see her not eating, so I share my food with her.
Before you know it the day is done and over and it's time to go home. So Chloe and I decided to walk home together.
Chloe's point of view
Well today was fun, skipping class with Alex. I really liked when he calmed me down earlier. I feel so save in his arms. I'm hopeless; I need to find some guy to take him off my mind. Wow, that wasn't like me at all, but I can't keep going like this. I'll end up killing myself over him. I just hope he doesn't find out I cut myself because I can't tell him how I feel. Well, time to go home to another hell.
2 hours later still, Chloe's point of view.
I'm just going to sit here in my room and think about song lyrics. God, I suck at writing. I don't know why I didn't give up already.
I heard my mom coming up the stairs. Most likely to yell at me for something I didn't do.
"Hey, I have something to tell you!"
"What is it mom?"
"Get out of my house."
"What?!"
"You heard me, pack your shit and get out, now. You're the reason your father isn't here."
"Fine, whore. I don't care!"
"You have 10 minutes or I'm calling the cops!"
So I pack my things as quickly as I can. Clothes, CD's, two pairs of shoes, and anything else I'll need. I don't really care she kicked me out. But where will I go? Erg, I didn't think of that. ALEX!
So I run down the road, well more like jog because this bag is weighing me down. Luckily it isn't all that far maybe like a mile. All that running in hockey did help.
Okay about 10 minutes later I'm at Alex's door and I'm exhausted. I shouldn't have put so much in this bag. So I knock on the door and Alex's mother answered.
"Hey Mrs. Porter is Alex here? I really need to talk to him."
"Yes honey, come right in. I don't even know why you still knock!"
"Thanks."
"Alex come down here. Chloe wants to see you!"
About a minute later Alex comes down the stairs with his game boy in his hand. We're just that cool that we still play video games!
"Hey Chloe, what's wrong?"
"Can we go to your room? We really need to talk."
"Of course!"
In Alex's room
"So what's up?"
"The whore kicked me out. Do you think I could stay with you? I mean I don't want to be a problem or anything."
"Chloe, you're never a problem. I don't mind and I'm sure my parents won't. They love you!"
"I know."
"Well, I'll just go ask my mom but I'm sure she'll say yes."
"Mkay, I'll just wait here."
"I won't be long."
"And Alex?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you for being an awesome friend."
"You're welcome."
After Alex left the room I got bored so I went to the stand beside his bed and took out his journal. I like reading his songs. I start looking through them when I come across a page that's taped to more the next one. He probably doesn't want anyone to see that, but when I turn to the next page I see spots of red that must have bled through. Fucking no! I have to get those pages apart! Before I can, Alex comes back into the room.
"CHLOE NO!"
"Why Alex? What's written there?"
"Nothing, just please don't look at them."
"Why did you cut yourself?"
"Because!"
"Because why?"
"I just had a reason okay?"
"Tell me!"
"No, you'll get mad!"
"I'll get mad if you don't tell me!"
"Chloe, I just can't okay? You'll find out soon enough!"
"Fine, so what did your mom say?"
"She said of course you can, and to stay as long as you want."
"YaY! Now where am I going to sleep?"
"You can sleep in my bed and I'll take the couch or floor."
"Alex, no it's your bed and I want you to have it."
"But I want you to be comfy!"
"But it's your house and I want you to sleep in your bed."
"I won't sleep in it unless you do!"
"Fine then we'll both sleep in it!"
"Fine! Wanna play video games?"
"Mkayyy!" We're so immature.
"I know that Chloe loves Donkey Kong!"
"Yes she does!"
The hours pass and it's time to go to sleep. YaY! I get to sleep in the same bed as Alex! Okay, that makes me really happy, but it's hopeless. I just remembered I talk in my sleep. I must make sure Alex falls asleep first, but by the looks of it that isn't going to work.
Alex's point of view
I'm happy that I get to sleep in a bed with Chloe, but it's hopeless, she'll never like me. I'm just glad I stopped her before she saw that poem I wrote. It's about my love for her and the red stuff, that's my blood. I can't tell her how I feel because she's my best friend. God, I'm in love with my best friend. It looks like she's asleep. It wouldn't hurt to put my arms around her would it? No, I just want her to feel safe.
Chloe's point of view
How pathetic am I? I'm lying here, thinking about Alex. What the hell? He put his arms around me? God that scared me. So I turn around to face him.
"What the hell Alex?"
"I just want you to feel safe, but if you want I'll move my arms."
"No it's okay, I do feel safer."
And with that we both fell asleep.