It Doesn't Remind Me of Anything, chapter 2

I don't know what I'm going to say to her... to both of them. I wonder if they'll understand. I sure hope they do. It would make it so much easier...I can't give in. I need to tell Shannon first, then Amanda.
I can't be with Shannon and Amanda. Yes, I do love them both with every ounce of my heart, but I'm not ready to have a family right now. I know I'm going to sound selfish when I tell them, but I'm doing what I think is right...

As Tre was in his bed, wide awake and thinking important thoughts, his girlfriend Shannon was sleeping like a baby. As if life is and always would be as good as she had it. She even was smiling in her sleep. Which made Tre smile.

TRE'S POV

I stopped thinking and sat up to look at Shannon. God, she's so beautiful. Her dark brown hair was everywhere as the moonlight shined on her slightly freckled face. Watching her sleep is making it harder for me to think about leaving her and Amanda. But I have to do it.
"Shannon... " I said softly, while lightly shaking her. "Shannon... wake up... I need to talk to you."
"Now?" she groaned. "Tre... it's five o'clock in the morning."
"Yeah... I know. But I really need to talk to you," I quietly stated while I continued softly shaking her.
"Oookay, if it's that important.," she said as she wiped her eyes. "What do you need to say, Tre?"
"Well... " I started "I've been thinking a lot lately about my future, and your future... and Amanda's too. And... well..I-I," I paused. "I think I need to leave you and Amanda," I said... afraid of what her reaction would be.
"Wh-what? W-why?" she questioned, not really knowing what to say. Well, I guess that really woke her up.
"It's nothing you did. I-I want to be with you and Amanda, but I think it would be best for me. We both know that Green Day has been very busy right now. And I still feel as though I'm not ready to have a family," I explained, hoping she'd understand. "I love you, Shannon. I hope you understand what I'm saying," I added. Shannon just shook her head and sighed.
"What about Amanda??" I took a deep breath.
"Well, uhh. I'm going to tell her in later, when she wakes up. I'm hoping I'll be packed by then," Shannon's eyes widened.
"You're leaving today?!" She said in a loud whisper voice.
"Yeah," I nodded. "I'm going to stay with Mike until I find a house."
She just stared at me. "Tre, that doesn't make any sense. You can still live here until you find a house."
"But I'm afraid I'd change my mind by then."
Shannon stared at my once again. I could tell she was hurt and a little confused.
"I... I don't understand, Tre," she sighed. "We fell in love, and had a baby... .and now you just want to leave because you're not ready. You should have thought of all of this before you got me pregnant. And... and why now? Amanda is four years old. And you're just now thinking about how you're not ready. Why not four years ago, when our daughter was born??" I could tell she was getting more and more angry the more she thought about the idea of me leaving.
"I... uhh." While I was continuing with my no response, Shannon threw out more hard to answer questions.
"You said you were thinking about mine and Amanda's future? Well, what's going to happen to us?? Huh? I didn't go to college. I don't have a good job. How am I supposed to support our daughter?? Hmmm?" I was once again... speechless. I felt kind of bad not giving her any answers, but there wasn't any way for me to answer them, really. So since I didn't give Shannon her answers, we sat in silence.
"I'm...sorry, Shannon," I said in a whisper. Shannon rolled her eyes and got out of bed.
"I can't believe you're doing this to me and mostly, Amanda. How dare you leave your daughter." She said angrily while pointing a finger at me. I sat there as she walked swiftly out of the room. I was left alone to think about what I had just done.

"What am I doing?"