Billie's Goldfish, chapter 9
Billie now has the most awkward pet ever thought of, Scooter Libby, ex someone who worked for the Bush Administration, which is now, in this story, the Clinton Administration, because of Good ol' Hilary is prez now, and everyone is happy and life is good. Except for the Republican Party, the all shot and killed themselves.
Billie led a weird looking Scooter Libby on his pink leash, and walking on all fours, around Central Park in New York City.
"You know what I think?" Billie said to Tre, who was walking besides him.
"Huh?" Tre replied.
"Scooter is boring, and he shits too much," Billie said.
"I agree, since I'm the one who has to pick up his shit," Tre said.
Scooter was banging his head on a tree.
Billie unhooked Scooter's collar, and Scooter ran away.
"Bye Scooter, we won't miss you!!!" Tre and Billie exclaimed in unison.
"Now that that useless part is over, we can move on with the story and find me a new pet!!!" Billie said, skipping to another pet store across the street. Tre tried to skip, but tripped and fell in the middle in the street, and almost got ran over by a Pink Hummer, carrying Lindsay Lohan.
"SON OF A BITCH! FIND FOOD! ITS LINDSAY LOHAN!!" Tre screamed, and everyone around them ran into McDonald's and bought everything on the dollar menu.
Lindsay screamed and ran, but two Raiders football players, who also happened to be walking along Broadway Street, ran after the very unfit Lindsay and tackled her, and forced food into her mouth. After about half an hour, and a squealing and giggling Tre and Billie, who were lying in the middle of the crowd in the middle of the road, Lindsay became a fat American. Sadly, she also lost her job. And everyone was so happy cause she was a sucky actress and singer and all of her movies were shit. She then became a junkie addict and lived at McDonalds. She spent the rest of her millions on buying one McDonald's restaurant, and becoming fatter and fatter...and drum roll please...exploded.
Billie was the happiest man alive.
As Tre, Mike and Billie entered the pet store, Billie bent over to tie his shoes.
"Why are you tying your shoes?" Tre asked, like the moron he was.
"Cause I said so, so shut up man-bitch!" Billie laughed.
Mike poked a llama. "Why not get a llama?"
"Too Big," Billie said. "I'm stumped..."
"LE GASP!!! GET A FERRET! A FERRET!" Tre yelled, pointing at a pure black ferret in a cage.
Billie picked out that ferret, and also collected a duck. A ferret and a duck, what a nice mix.
Bob the ferret, and Mocha the duck, were carried out by Billie and Tre, with Mike carrying all their supplies. They were SURE that these were the perfect, most normal pets. Ok, so not so normal, but better than Scooter Libby ever was.
Billie led a weird looking Scooter Libby on his pink leash, and walking on all fours, around Central Park in New York City.
"You know what I think?" Billie said to Tre, who was walking besides him.
"Huh?" Tre replied.
"Scooter is boring, and he shits too much," Billie said.
"I agree, since I'm the one who has to pick up his shit," Tre said.
Scooter was banging his head on a tree.
Billie unhooked Scooter's collar, and Scooter ran away.
"Bye Scooter, we won't miss you!!!" Tre and Billie exclaimed in unison.
"Now that that useless part is over, we can move on with the story and find me a new pet!!!" Billie said, skipping to another pet store across the street. Tre tried to skip, but tripped and fell in the middle in the street, and almost got ran over by a Pink Hummer, carrying Lindsay Lohan.
"SON OF A BITCH! FIND FOOD! ITS LINDSAY LOHAN!!" Tre screamed, and everyone around them ran into McDonald's and bought everything on the dollar menu.
Lindsay screamed and ran, but two Raiders football players, who also happened to be walking along Broadway Street, ran after the very unfit Lindsay and tackled her, and forced food into her mouth. After about half an hour, and a squealing and giggling Tre and Billie, who were lying in the middle of the crowd in the middle of the road, Lindsay became a fat American. Sadly, she also lost her job. And everyone was so happy cause she was a sucky actress and singer and all of her movies were shit. She then became a junkie addict and lived at McDonalds. She spent the rest of her millions on buying one McDonald's restaurant, and becoming fatter and fatter...and drum roll please...exploded.
Billie was the happiest man alive.
As Tre, Mike and Billie entered the pet store, Billie bent over to tie his shoes.
"Why are you tying your shoes?" Tre asked, like the moron he was.
"Cause I said so, so shut up man-bitch!" Billie laughed.
Mike poked a llama. "Why not get a llama?"
"Too Big," Billie said. "I'm stumped..."
"LE GASP!!! GET A FERRET! A FERRET!" Tre yelled, pointing at a pure black ferret in a cage.
Billie picked out that ferret, and also collected a duck. A ferret and a duck, what a nice mix.
Bob the ferret, and Mocha the duck, were carried out by Billie and Tre, with Mike carrying all their supplies. They were SURE that these were the perfect, most normal pets. Ok, so not so normal, but better than Scooter Libby ever was.
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