Of Saints And Fallen Angels, chapter 3
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I Must Be Dreaming
March 16th, 2002
Sophia rolled over, looking at the clock. It read 9 am. She groaned, it being a Saturday, and wished to sleep in longer. Hanging her arm over the edge of the bed, she let out a sigh, hearing her brother, Stephen, making his way down the hallway and down the stairs. Sophia hated waking up before at least 10 am on the weekends. She then fumbled for the television remote, and turned it on.
"Ugh," She groaned slowly, looking up at her Green Day poster and staring dreamily at the bassist, then slumping back down, and focusing her attention on the music channel she had it set to.
Grumbling at the commercials that were on a the moment, Sophia waited patiently for them to end, to see the next video. She looked at the wall, tracing her finger over it in circles. Sophia sighed, and the commercial that was on ended, but she didn't pull her gaze from the wall. At least until she heard the first notes of the song 'Warning,' by Green Day, coming from her television. She smiled and sat up, watching the video, and giggling at all the things the main guy in the video, did wrong.
"What a moron, ha ha," She laughed more, and the video broke towards the middle.
She watched the television eagerly, as it showed the bassist, wearing a white t-shirt and black pants. Embarassed, she squealed like a little fan girl, upon seeing him. She'd had a thing for Mike Dirnt, the bassist, since she was about twelve years old. No one understood why she didn't like Billie Joe, or even Tré. She preferred it that way, actually taking a liking to being different for a change.
"Aww, I did wanna see Welcome to Paradise though," Sophia commented, curling up with the covers, making sure she could still see the television. "Not that Mike doesn't look good in that white shirt."
Welcome to Paradise was the video that had gotten her liking Green Day. Though it wasn't even an actual, official video, she loved it anyway. Sophia had first seen it when she was six years old. She recalled watching it, and seeing Mike for the first time. At this time, she wasn't old enough to know what thinking a guy was cute, really was. Something about him had just made her cling to him. She began to try and jump about like Mike did in the video, but failed miserably, and fell directly on her backside.
Sophia smiled at the memory, though it was one of her earliest ones. She couldn't ever figure out why she was unable to remember things from earlier, like others were. Shrugging, she decided to crawl out of bed as the video ended, to find herself something to eat. She pulled an old T-shirt on over her thin tank top, and opened her bedroom door, looking out to see if anyone else had been awake. She saw her brother's door open and naturally assumed he was awake and downstairs with their mother.
"Sophia? You up?" Her mother's voice rang from the downstairs.
"Yeah," She groaned in reply, making her way down the stairs.
Steadily, she made her way down the stairs, grasping onto both rails to keep from tumbling forward. She mumbled indistinctly, and walked into the kitchen, completely ignoring her family members, who were smoking pot. Sophia coughed and batted away the smoke with her hand as she stepped into the kitchen. She leaned down and opened the refrigerator, having a peek inside for something to eat that would classify as breakfast. Sophia smiled upon finding the leftover cheesecake from her brother's birthday, just two days ago.
The young girl pulled the case out with the cake in it, and set it on the table. She then began to fish around for a plate, and a fork. She found them, and let out an 'ah' of satisfaction at her now grumbling stomach. She served herself up a piece of cheesecake on the plate, put the leftovers back in the refrigerator and took it back upstairs with her, to avoid any further contact with the smoke.
* * *
"Sophia! Get your butt down here!" The sound of her mother's voice rang through the hallway. "Joan's here!"
"Okay, okay, hang on!" Sophia replied, darting out of her room and down the stairs to greet her friend at the front door.
"Hey Sophie," Joan said, gesturing to her best friend.
"Did ya wanna go upstairs and hang out? They're actually playing decent music videos for a change," Sophia offered, pointing upstairs.
"Yeah, sure, I'm bored anyway," Joan shrugged and followed Sophia up the stairs.
Neither of them said anything for a while, as they both plopped down onto Sophia's bed. They couldn't think of much to say, though it being early to teenagers might have had something to do with that. Sophia gazed off at her poster again, as she had when she first woke up. She let off a sigh, observing the bassist once more, before looking at Joan, who already had her attention directed to Sophia.
"Looking at him again, huh?" Joan ask softly, knowing Sophia would know what she meant.
"...yeah," She replied, with her head hung down.
Once again, silence lingered in the air. Joan turned her gaze to the television, which was playing some older music videos. She decided to leave Sophia in her own little dreaming world for the time being. It made her happy, so Joan didn't care, so long as she was happy. Sophia propped her head up on her hand, while her elbow held her up. She looked at him one more time, before looking back to Joan.
"It's okay," Joan nodded to Sophia. "Don't worry about it."
"I guess so," Sophia replied, clearing her throat. "I can't really help it..."
"It's fine, just don't worry about it. Don't need the stress," Her friend said with a shrug.
"Okay, I'll try not to worry about it so much," Sophia started, "I just l-"
"I know you do Sophie," Joan replied and nodded.
Sophia sighed again and laid back on her bed, then pulling the covers over her face. She groaned wanting to go back to sleep, but figured it'd be better to stay up and keep her friend company. She sat back up, and looked at Joan, who just smiled sheepishly. Sophia giggled and looked back at the TV, seeing there was nothing decent to speak of on, at the moment. She shrugged and searched about for a piece of paper and pencil, to draw on, no doubt.
Later in the afternoon, both girls were perched back on the bed, watching TV still. Each of them did their own random little thing every now and then. Joan looked back at Sophia and sighed. She was tired, and it showed. She rested her head down on the pillow and fidgeted a little, not really able to keep herself still. They both remained quiet. Joan looked back to Sophia.
"Hey, is it alright if I take a nap?" Joan asked timidly. Whenever her mother denied her sleep, she'd catch up on it at Sophia's house. Of course, Sophia didn't mind that.
"You know it is," Sophia said with a nod, as she lifted up, and sat down onto the floor. "Go ahead and get some Z's."
"Thanks," Joan nodded, and rolled over, pulling the thick sleeping bag over her.
Sophia sighed, and turned her gaze back to the television. Sighing when she saw nothing of any real worth on there, she picked up her pencil and drawing pad again, and began to sketch out a picture. She'd decided she was going to draw a random picture, but it began to look more like a cartoon character. Grumbling at the thought, Sophia put her pencil down, and huffed, looking back up swiftly at the sounds of the song Welcome to Paradise, by Green Day once again.
"Oh man, it's been so long since I've seen this," Sophia commented, watching the video rather intently.
She giggled at how Mike was such a wire back in the days that performance was done in. He bounced all over the stage with his old gibson, the bass he used up until the Nimrod era. Sophia sprawled out onto the floor, on her stomach, using her hands to hold her head up. She continued to watch and smiled at Mike, whenever he was shown on the screen. Hearing Joan snore a little, Sophia giggled yet again, as the video progressed. She'd never seen two Green Day videos on in one day.
Standing back up, she felt a hand grip her arm, and help her up. Upon looking back she saw nothing, so she shrugged and walked over to her dresser to look at herself in the mirror that was also attached to it. A loud sigh resounded through the air, belonging to Sophia. She gripped the sides of her dresser and leaned forward a little, to look at herself more closely. Once again, that feeling of someone touching her arm returned. Sophia took her left hand, and reached out towards whatever had a hold of her right wrist, and grasped something. A something she couldn't see.
"What the hell?" Sophia grunted, pulling at whatever she had a hold of, and it was not budging. "Who...who are you?"
I must be dreaming
Or we're onto something
I must be dreaming
For I don't fall in love lawlessly
I must be dreaming
Or pinch me to waking
So undeniably yours
As long as I'm losing it so completely
Sophia stared directly forward and up, into what would be the eyes of this figure, were it a person. No answer came from the supposed entity.
* * *
Finally, she sees I am there. I was beginning to wonder when she'd notice. For moments, I just watch her, trying to figure out who I am. Little does she know. Just four more years, four more. I can't believe how fast it's approaching. She stares directly into my eyes. It's almost as though she can see me. And in a way, perhaps I wish she could. Full, well, knowing what this encounter is going to get me, I could care less.
My job, where do I start...my job is to protect this young woman, make sure she remains okay up until the mortal's 34th birthday. That would make Sophia here, 18, going on 19. That's when it is supposed to happen. I'm not sure I will be ready for it, or why it is sought to be done this way. I just know that He was against having it done the exact way as before in some aspects. More...presence I suppose you'd call it.
When I say 'He' like that, I am referring to the big man, you know, the one they call 'the man upstairs.'
Ah, and the band. Why they were chosen, will always be past my comprehension. The only for sure, solid, reason I can give, is that they are her favorite. As for the rest, I'll just say that it is because of the song lyrics they have, as well as their looks. Each of them have a look to them. It's hard to describe. They fit the...criteria I guess you'd say. The bouncy, wirey one, yes, the one she loves so much. I am a part of him. Whether he realizes that or not, remains unknown. Doubtful, though if he does, he registers these happenings as a dream, and nothing more.
The rules He set for the whole plan, stated she wasn't even supposed to know I am there, at all. I just watch over her until the time is right, and when it is, get it over with, and leave. She isn't to know any of it until the time comes for her to know.
I don't like that. That part of the plan pissed me off. How can I just leave her like that, after what is going to happen? I couldn't. It goes against everything I stand for. I have a few years I suppose, to perhaps sway Him into letting me stick around her afterwards. Chances are, He won't. It is worth a try, granted He is going to punish me for even suggesting it. Hell, I'm going to be punished anyways, if He finds out I touched her. Now she knows I'm there. Even if she's not paying much attention to it yet, she will wisen up to my presence.
After all, I was the one who saved her friend when she couldn't find her inhaler. I even purposely knocked over that piece of paper to get her attention. Sometimes I nudge her slightly, or just give a simple pat to the shoulder. I even made those videos come on for her, I knew it'd make her smile, to see him, the mortal. Anything to get her to know I am there and to make her happy. It sounds pathetic, I know. To want a mortal's attention. I can't help it though. And that alone, is enough to piss Him off. I wasn't supposed to get close at all. Perhaps it will be my downfall. I don't know. It won't change what is meant to be with time.
I guess it will just be harder for me to leave once my job is done. I already fear that even now, were I told to get it over with and leave, I couldn't. I just look into those emerald eyes, still glued to me, and smile. Anything is worth that. The curious look on her face is priceless. How much I want to just make myself visible right now, and I can't. I'd never see her again if I did that.
Whoever says 'angels don't fall in love,' is full of it. I admit it, I love her. Mistake? I think not. Whatever punishment I get, is worth it for her.
March 16th, 2002
Sophia rolled over, looking at the clock. It read 9 am. She groaned, it being a Saturday, and wished to sleep in longer. Hanging her arm over the edge of the bed, she let out a sigh, hearing her brother, Stephen, making his way down the hallway and down the stairs. Sophia hated waking up before at least 10 am on the weekends. She then fumbled for the television remote, and turned it on.
"Ugh," She groaned slowly, looking up at her Green Day poster and staring dreamily at the bassist, then slumping back down, and focusing her attention on the music channel she had it set to.
Grumbling at the commercials that were on a the moment, Sophia waited patiently for them to end, to see the next video. She looked at the wall, tracing her finger over it in circles. Sophia sighed, and the commercial that was on ended, but she didn't pull her gaze from the wall. At least until she heard the first notes of the song 'Warning,' by Green Day, coming from her television. She smiled and sat up, watching the video, and giggling at all the things the main guy in the video, did wrong.
"What a moron, ha ha," She laughed more, and the video broke towards the middle.
She watched the television eagerly, as it showed the bassist, wearing a white t-shirt and black pants. Embarassed, she squealed like a little fan girl, upon seeing him. She'd had a thing for Mike Dirnt, the bassist, since she was about twelve years old. No one understood why she didn't like Billie Joe, or even Tré. She preferred it that way, actually taking a liking to being different for a change.
"Aww, I did wanna see Welcome to Paradise though," Sophia commented, curling up with the covers, making sure she could still see the television. "Not that Mike doesn't look good in that white shirt."
Welcome to Paradise was the video that had gotten her liking Green Day. Though it wasn't even an actual, official video, she loved it anyway. Sophia had first seen it when she was six years old. She recalled watching it, and seeing Mike for the first time. At this time, she wasn't old enough to know what thinking a guy was cute, really was. Something about him had just made her cling to him. She began to try and jump about like Mike did in the video, but failed miserably, and fell directly on her backside.
Sophia smiled at the memory, though it was one of her earliest ones. She couldn't ever figure out why she was unable to remember things from earlier, like others were. Shrugging, she decided to crawl out of bed as the video ended, to find herself something to eat. She pulled an old T-shirt on over her thin tank top, and opened her bedroom door, looking out to see if anyone else had been awake. She saw her brother's door open and naturally assumed he was awake and downstairs with their mother.
"Sophia? You up?" Her mother's voice rang from the downstairs.
"Yeah," She groaned in reply, making her way down the stairs.
Steadily, she made her way down the stairs, grasping onto both rails to keep from tumbling forward. She mumbled indistinctly, and walked into the kitchen, completely ignoring her family members, who were smoking pot. Sophia coughed and batted away the smoke with her hand as she stepped into the kitchen. She leaned down and opened the refrigerator, having a peek inside for something to eat that would classify as breakfast. Sophia smiled upon finding the leftover cheesecake from her brother's birthday, just two days ago.
The young girl pulled the case out with the cake in it, and set it on the table. She then began to fish around for a plate, and a fork. She found them, and let out an 'ah' of satisfaction at her now grumbling stomach. She served herself up a piece of cheesecake on the plate, put the leftovers back in the refrigerator and took it back upstairs with her, to avoid any further contact with the smoke.
* * *
"Sophia! Get your butt down here!" The sound of her mother's voice rang through the hallway. "Joan's here!"
"Okay, okay, hang on!" Sophia replied, darting out of her room and down the stairs to greet her friend at the front door.
"Hey Sophie," Joan said, gesturing to her best friend.
"Did ya wanna go upstairs and hang out? They're actually playing decent music videos for a change," Sophia offered, pointing upstairs.
"Yeah, sure, I'm bored anyway," Joan shrugged and followed Sophia up the stairs.
Neither of them said anything for a while, as they both plopped down onto Sophia's bed. They couldn't think of much to say, though it being early to teenagers might have had something to do with that. Sophia gazed off at her poster again, as she had when she first woke up. She let off a sigh, observing the bassist once more, before looking at Joan, who already had her attention directed to Sophia.
"Looking at him again, huh?" Joan ask softly, knowing Sophia would know what she meant.
"...yeah," She replied, with her head hung down.
Once again, silence lingered in the air. Joan turned her gaze to the television, which was playing some older music videos. She decided to leave Sophia in her own little dreaming world for the time being. It made her happy, so Joan didn't care, so long as she was happy. Sophia propped her head up on her hand, while her elbow held her up. She looked at him one more time, before looking back to Joan.
"It's okay," Joan nodded to Sophia. "Don't worry about it."
"I guess so," Sophia replied, clearing her throat. "I can't really help it..."
"It's fine, just don't worry about it. Don't need the stress," Her friend said with a shrug.
"Okay, I'll try not to worry about it so much," Sophia started, "I just l-"
"I know you do Sophie," Joan replied and nodded.
Sophia sighed again and laid back on her bed, then pulling the covers over her face. She groaned wanting to go back to sleep, but figured it'd be better to stay up and keep her friend company. She sat back up, and looked at Joan, who just smiled sheepishly. Sophia giggled and looked back at the TV, seeing there was nothing decent to speak of on, at the moment. She shrugged and searched about for a piece of paper and pencil, to draw on, no doubt.
Later in the afternoon, both girls were perched back on the bed, watching TV still. Each of them did their own random little thing every now and then. Joan looked back at Sophia and sighed. She was tired, and it showed. She rested her head down on the pillow and fidgeted a little, not really able to keep herself still. They both remained quiet. Joan looked back to Sophia.
"Hey, is it alright if I take a nap?" Joan asked timidly. Whenever her mother denied her sleep, she'd catch up on it at Sophia's house. Of course, Sophia didn't mind that.
"You know it is," Sophia said with a nod, as she lifted up, and sat down onto the floor. "Go ahead and get some Z's."
"Thanks," Joan nodded, and rolled over, pulling the thick sleeping bag over her.
Sophia sighed, and turned her gaze back to the television. Sighing when she saw nothing of any real worth on there, she picked up her pencil and drawing pad again, and began to sketch out a picture. She'd decided she was going to draw a random picture, but it began to look more like a cartoon character. Grumbling at the thought, Sophia put her pencil down, and huffed, looking back up swiftly at the sounds of the song Welcome to Paradise, by Green Day once again.
"Oh man, it's been so long since I've seen this," Sophia commented, watching the video rather intently.
She giggled at how Mike was such a wire back in the days that performance was done in. He bounced all over the stage with his old gibson, the bass he used up until the Nimrod era. Sophia sprawled out onto the floor, on her stomach, using her hands to hold her head up. She continued to watch and smiled at Mike, whenever he was shown on the screen. Hearing Joan snore a little, Sophia giggled yet again, as the video progressed. She'd never seen two Green Day videos on in one day.
Standing back up, she felt a hand grip her arm, and help her up. Upon looking back she saw nothing, so she shrugged and walked over to her dresser to look at herself in the mirror that was also attached to it. A loud sigh resounded through the air, belonging to Sophia. She gripped the sides of her dresser and leaned forward a little, to look at herself more closely. Once again, that feeling of someone touching her arm returned. Sophia took her left hand, and reached out towards whatever had a hold of her right wrist, and grasped something. A something she couldn't see.
"What the hell?" Sophia grunted, pulling at whatever she had a hold of, and it was not budging. "Who...who are you?"
I must be dreaming
Or we're onto something
I must be dreaming
For I don't fall in love lawlessly
I must be dreaming
Or pinch me to waking
So undeniably yours
As long as I'm losing it so completely
Sophia stared directly forward and up, into what would be the eyes of this figure, were it a person. No answer came from the supposed entity.
* * *
Finally, she sees I am there. I was beginning to wonder when she'd notice. For moments, I just watch her, trying to figure out who I am. Little does she know. Just four more years, four more. I can't believe how fast it's approaching. She stares directly into my eyes. It's almost as though she can see me. And in a way, perhaps I wish she could. Full, well, knowing what this encounter is going to get me, I could care less.
My job, where do I start...my job is to protect this young woman, make sure she remains okay up until the mortal's 34th birthday. That would make Sophia here, 18, going on 19. That's when it is supposed to happen. I'm not sure I will be ready for it, or why it is sought to be done this way. I just know that He was against having it done the exact way as before in some aspects. More...presence I suppose you'd call it.
When I say 'He' like that, I am referring to the big man, you know, the one they call 'the man upstairs.'
Ah, and the band. Why they were chosen, will always be past my comprehension. The only for sure, solid, reason I can give, is that they are her favorite. As for the rest, I'll just say that it is because of the song lyrics they have, as well as their looks. Each of them have a look to them. It's hard to describe. They fit the...criteria I guess you'd say. The bouncy, wirey one, yes, the one she loves so much. I am a part of him. Whether he realizes that or not, remains unknown. Doubtful, though if he does, he registers these happenings as a dream, and nothing more.
The rules He set for the whole plan, stated she wasn't even supposed to know I am there, at all. I just watch over her until the time is right, and when it is, get it over with, and leave. She isn't to know any of it until the time comes for her to know.
I don't like that. That part of the plan pissed me off. How can I just leave her like that, after what is going to happen? I couldn't. It goes against everything I stand for. I have a few years I suppose, to perhaps sway Him into letting me stick around her afterwards. Chances are, He won't. It is worth a try, granted He is going to punish me for even suggesting it. Hell, I'm going to be punished anyways, if He finds out I touched her. Now she knows I'm there. Even if she's not paying much attention to it yet, she will wisen up to my presence.
After all, I was the one who saved her friend when she couldn't find her inhaler. I even purposely knocked over that piece of paper to get her attention. Sometimes I nudge her slightly, or just give a simple pat to the shoulder. I even made those videos come on for her, I knew it'd make her smile, to see him, the mortal. Anything to get her to know I am there and to make her happy. It sounds pathetic, I know. To want a mortal's attention. I can't help it though. And that alone, is enough to piss Him off. I wasn't supposed to get close at all. Perhaps it will be my downfall. I don't know. It won't change what is meant to be with time.
I guess it will just be harder for me to leave once my job is done. I already fear that even now, were I told to get it over with and leave, I couldn't. I just look into those emerald eyes, still glued to me, and smile. Anything is worth that. The curious look on her face is priceless. How much I want to just make myself visible right now, and I can't. I'd never see her again if I did that.
Whoever says 'angels don't fall in love,' is full of it. I admit it, I love her. Mistake? I think not. Whatever punishment I get, is worth it for her.
