The Teenie Takeover, chapter 1

I've always been deathly afraid of so-called teenies. They've been around for years. They sit on the computer drooling at pictures of me. They search around the TV stations for shows featuring me. They buy my bands CD's just because they think I'm hott. They practically only like my band because they think I'm hott. And, worst of all, they constantly ramble about how they are my 'future wife'.

I bet you can already tell that I am the one and only Billie Joe Armstrong. Yes, a man of happiness, but with a world of teenies around me, it's hard to stay as happy as I want to be.

It all started around the time that American Idiot came out. Green Day's new transformation occured. We looked better. More clean-cut I guess you can say, but of coarse not too polishy, a little on the rough, crazy side. This image change automatically attracted teenage girls. You know, the one's that say "OMG!!! Look! There's that sexy guy from Green Day!!" when they see me. Now, when that happens, all you gotta do is run. For your fucking life.

I especially despise the fact that a lot of these teenie-boppers think that they are going to marry me!!!

News flash for ya buddy!

I AM HAPPILY MARRIED WITH TWO KIDS.

Enough said right there. I am not going to break up with my beautiful wife and get illegaly married to some 14-year-old, let alone fuck one. And here's another reason I'm not gonna be with someone other than what I've already got, because NO ONE and I repeat NO ONE gives better blow jobs than my lovely Adie. So, one last time, fuck off. You can think I'm hott or sexy all you want, ok huns? Just remember that I'm not gonna be with anyone than Adrienne.

Ok, now that we have that covered, I am going to tell you my story of how a group of teenie's almost destroyed my life...