And Like A Blade You'll Stain, chapter 1
Summer has come and passed.
The innocent can never last
Wake me up,
When September ends.
Like my father's come to pass, seven years has gone so fast.
Wake me up,
When September ends.
Here comes the rain again,
Falling from the stars;
Drenched in my pain again,
Becoming who we are.
As my memory rests,
But never forgets what I lost.
Wake me up,
When September ends.
Summer has come and passed.
The innocent can never last.
Wake me up,
When September ends.
Ring out the bells again.
Like we did when spring began.
Wake me up,
When September ends.
Here comes the rain again,
Falling from the stars;
Drenched in my pain again,
Becoming who we are.
As my memory rest,
But never forgets what I lost.
Wake me up,
When September ends.
Summer has come and passed.
The innocent can never last.
Wake me up,
When September ends.
Like my father's come to pass.
Twenty years has gone so fast.
Wake me up,
When September ends.
Wake me up,
When September ends.
Wake me up,
When September ends...
I looked out over the town, further back, way out to the miserable looking hills. I sighed and switched my gaze to my converse clad feet. I didn't think much of it- September was always like this. I was being selfish, really. There were people in the world starving and here I was getting worked up about a long, hard, and excruitiatingly painful month.
I knew I'd have to go home soon but I kept making excuses for myself- home didn't feel like home in September. Although I had my family and friends behind me every step of the way, I was alone. I had so many people who said they loved me but I was alone.
A single tear dripped down my face, but I didn't bother to wipe it away- I knew that before long many more would follow it. It was like a ritual- every year I'd come here, every year I'd stare at the hills, every year I'd cry my heart out for the man who showed me the way.
I looked up at the darkening sky and closed my watering eyes.
Why aren't you here?
I closed them tighter, wishing harder and harder....
Come back...come back...come back...
...And harder, and harder, and harder still...
Come back...come back...please...just come back...
And then I stopped, furious with myself.
I'd learnt a long time ago that wishing for something you know is impossible...will get you nowhere.
-
"Billie? Is that you?"
I walked through to the dark bedroom and undressed quietly. I slid into bed next to her and wrapped my arms around her waist. I leaned in and softly kissed her neck. She turned around and returned the favour.
"I love you," I murmered. She smiled weakly.
"I love you too."
I lay there in her arms, wishing that being in love always felt this amazing.
-
The next morning I woke up with an even deeper sense of regret than usual. Something was going to go wrong, or get better today. And I hardly think that the sunshine would come out, the day after the marking of my fathers death. So I was voting for the downside- as usual.
I kissed Adie softly and got up to shower. I dressed quickly and looked at my reflection in the mirror. Black shirt, studded belt, black converse, tight black pants and the typical red tie. I was like a stereotype- of myself.
I cursed under my breath. I was always an emotional git in september. Always depressed, always miserable, always wishing I was somewhere else, someone else.
There was a soft knocking at the door. I pulled it open slowly.
"Billie? You okay?" Adie said quietly. I took her in my arms and hels her, hoping that she, of all people, would never leave me. Everyone else had, and those who hadn't didn't seem to be there.
It was like I could be surrounding by a sea of people, and still feel all alone. Because I was alone. I was clinging to Adie like a baby because even the music seemed to have left me. Writing Wake Me Up When September Ends put thigs into perspective for me. Too much perspective- I thought about things too much, I was turning into something I didn't want to be.
I let Adie go and she kissed my cheek.
"I'm here Billie," She whispered.
And she is- I know she is, and thats what hurts most. Knowing that hurting myself is hurting her more and more.
Her, Joey, Jakey, and the band are all I have left, but somehow the band is slipping away, I'm not commited enough, there are too many other things on my mind.
Too many things tearing me up from the inside out, biting at my soul and spitting me back out, because no matter what, I'm just not good enough.
The innocent can never last
Wake me up,
When September ends.
Like my father's come to pass, seven years has gone so fast.
Wake me up,
When September ends.
Here comes the rain again,
Falling from the stars;
Drenched in my pain again,
Becoming who we are.
As my memory rests,
But never forgets what I lost.
Wake me up,
When September ends.
Summer has come and passed.
The innocent can never last.
Wake me up,
When September ends.
Ring out the bells again.
Like we did when spring began.
Wake me up,
When September ends.
Here comes the rain again,
Falling from the stars;
Drenched in my pain again,
Becoming who we are.
As my memory rest,
But never forgets what I lost.
Wake me up,
When September ends.
Summer has come and passed.
The innocent can never last.
Wake me up,
When September ends.
Like my father's come to pass.
Twenty years has gone so fast.
Wake me up,
When September ends.
Wake me up,
When September ends.
Wake me up,
When September ends...
I looked out over the town, further back, way out to the miserable looking hills. I sighed and switched my gaze to my converse clad feet. I didn't think much of it- September was always like this. I was being selfish, really. There were people in the world starving and here I was getting worked up about a long, hard, and excruitiatingly painful month.
I knew I'd have to go home soon but I kept making excuses for myself- home didn't feel like home in September. Although I had my family and friends behind me every step of the way, I was alone. I had so many people who said they loved me but I was alone.
A single tear dripped down my face, but I didn't bother to wipe it away- I knew that before long many more would follow it. It was like a ritual- every year I'd come here, every year I'd stare at the hills, every year I'd cry my heart out for the man who showed me the way.
I looked up at the darkening sky and closed my watering eyes.
Why aren't you here?
I closed them tighter, wishing harder and harder....
Come back...come back...come back...
...And harder, and harder, and harder still...
Come back...come back...please...just come back...
And then I stopped, furious with myself.
I'd learnt a long time ago that wishing for something you know is impossible...will get you nowhere.
-
"Billie? Is that you?"
I walked through to the dark bedroom and undressed quietly. I slid into bed next to her and wrapped my arms around her waist. I leaned in and softly kissed her neck. She turned around and returned the favour.
"I love you," I murmered. She smiled weakly.
"I love you too."
I lay there in her arms, wishing that being in love always felt this amazing.
-
The next morning I woke up with an even deeper sense of regret than usual. Something was going to go wrong, or get better today. And I hardly think that the sunshine would come out, the day after the marking of my fathers death. So I was voting for the downside- as usual.
I kissed Adie softly and got up to shower. I dressed quickly and looked at my reflection in the mirror. Black shirt, studded belt, black converse, tight black pants and the typical red tie. I was like a stereotype- of myself.
I cursed under my breath. I was always an emotional git in september. Always depressed, always miserable, always wishing I was somewhere else, someone else.
There was a soft knocking at the door. I pulled it open slowly.
"Billie? You okay?" Adie said quietly. I took her in my arms and hels her, hoping that she, of all people, would never leave me. Everyone else had, and those who hadn't didn't seem to be there.
It was like I could be surrounding by a sea of people, and still feel all alone. Because I was alone. I was clinging to Adie like a baby because even the music seemed to have left me. Writing Wake Me Up When September Ends put thigs into perspective for me. Too much perspective- I thought about things too much, I was turning into something I didn't want to be.
I let Adie go and she kissed my cheek.
"I'm here Billie," She whispered.
And she is- I know she is, and thats what hurts most. Knowing that hurting myself is hurting her more and more.
Her, Joey, Jakey, and the band are all I have left, but somehow the band is slipping away, I'm not commited enough, there are too many other things on my mind.
Too many things tearing me up from the inside out, biting at my soul and spitting me back out, because no matter what, I'm just not good enough.
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