The Shattered Man, chapter 1
I wiped my tears from my cheeks. My heart had fallen at least twelve thousand stories and it continued to plummet. "How could you DO this to me!?" I screamed, and shook my head as she stared out the window. I released a loud sob. "You told me you'd never leave me!" I shouted through my tears. "God, Adie! Why!?!" She started to leave. "Adie! You promised me that we'd be together forever!" I threw a picture of us at our marriage. "You took an oath! You can't leave me!" I wailed, and turned away as she calmly picked up the picture.
"Bill, we can't be together. Gerard is the person for me, and I can't be with you anymore," she murmured, and placed the picture on the table. I shook my head, and ripped the picture from the table. I stared down at it, tears streaming from my eyes. I screamed, and I threw it out the door.
"Why? Why not? Why do you love him more than me?!" I shouted, my vocal chords tight with tears. She slowly slid her hands onto her stomach, and stared up at me. "He...no. No, he didn't," She nodded calmly. Rage filled my body.
"Aaaarggghhh!" I screamed, and threw her bag out the door. "GET OUT! GET OUT!" I screamed, crying. After she left, I slouched onto the couch, my head in my hands. What just happened there? I wondered, tears slipping down my forearms and falling onto the carpet. Why? I couldn't think about it anymore. I started sobbing again, and closed my fingers around my hair, pulling it and twisting it through them.
I shook my head, not wanting to believe what had just happened. "Adie...I still love you!" I screamed over and over in my skull. It was just too much for me to handle. I sulked into the backroom, and slammed the door behind me. I knocked all the pictures of Adie and I off of all the shelves, and I didn't stop; stomping on one picture until the glass was so finely ground it was a simple powder. It was a copy of the picture of us on our wedding day. I sat again, blood pounding at my temples. My head spun so quickly it hurt. I shakily reached out for the phone. I slowly dialed Mike's number, and waited for him to answer.
"Hello?" Mikes voice rang in my ear. My heart rose silghtly.
"Mikey?" I asked. My voice was hoarse from screaming and crying at the same time.
"Yeah, who's this?" he asked. He...he didn't recognize my voice?
"Billie," I replied quietly, and picked up my keys, running my fingers over them. I heard him gasp.
"Billie? What's wrong? You sound like shit, man!" he exclaimed, and I nodded, and shrugged.
"Yeah, oh well. Look, can...can I come over?" I asked slowly, my head pounding, and my heart shattered. I heard him scratch his head.
"Uh, sure. What's goin' on?" he asked, concerned. I sighed quietly.
"I...I'll tell you when I get there. I'll go insane if I tell you over the phone," I murmured, and I stared at my silvery keys.
"Oh. Alrighty. C'mon over now if you want. See you in a bit," I nodded, and I opened my mouth to say goodbye, but nothing came out. I struggled to speak.
"Yeah. See you in a bit," I hung up, and sat back in my chair. God...Mikey was always there for me, through everything I had ever gone through; my anxiety attacks, when Joey and Jakob were born, at the wedding...I sighed deeply. "Oh, God help me get there," I pulled myself out of my chair. I ripped the door open and walked out of the house. I slowly pulled the door open, and slumped in the seat.
I slid the keys into the key slot, and backed out from the driveway. I drove silently down the road. Sure, I only lived three miles from his house, but it felt like it was three million. I pushed harder on the pedal, the car jerking forward. Eventually the pedal was on the floor, and I was ready for anything. It happened in slow motion. I was driving faster and faster, the only thing I could hear was my heartbeat. Suddenly a huge eighteen wheeler appeared in front of my car. It was too late, nothing that I could do. Not to mention that I didn't care. Car, meet truck. Truck, meet car. I felt my body jerk forward, and felt my head slam off of the steering wheel.
"Bill, we can't be together. Gerard is the person for me, and I can't be with you anymore," she murmured, and placed the picture on the table. I shook my head, and ripped the picture from the table. I stared down at it, tears streaming from my eyes. I screamed, and I threw it out the door.
"Why? Why not? Why do you love him more than me?!" I shouted, my vocal chords tight with tears. She slowly slid her hands onto her stomach, and stared up at me. "He...no. No, he didn't," She nodded calmly. Rage filled my body.
"Aaaarggghhh!" I screamed, and threw her bag out the door. "GET OUT! GET OUT!" I screamed, crying. After she left, I slouched onto the couch, my head in my hands. What just happened there? I wondered, tears slipping down my forearms and falling onto the carpet. Why? I couldn't think about it anymore. I started sobbing again, and closed my fingers around my hair, pulling it and twisting it through them.
I shook my head, not wanting to believe what had just happened. "Adie...I still love you!" I screamed over and over in my skull. It was just too much for me to handle. I sulked into the backroom, and slammed the door behind me. I knocked all the pictures of Adie and I off of all the shelves, and I didn't stop; stomping on one picture until the glass was so finely ground it was a simple powder. It was a copy of the picture of us on our wedding day. I sat again, blood pounding at my temples. My head spun so quickly it hurt. I shakily reached out for the phone. I slowly dialed Mike's number, and waited for him to answer.
"Hello?" Mikes voice rang in my ear. My heart rose silghtly.
"Mikey?" I asked. My voice was hoarse from screaming and crying at the same time.
"Yeah, who's this?" he asked. He...he didn't recognize my voice?
"Billie," I replied quietly, and picked up my keys, running my fingers over them. I heard him gasp.
"Billie? What's wrong? You sound like shit, man!" he exclaimed, and I nodded, and shrugged.
"Yeah, oh well. Look, can...can I come over?" I asked slowly, my head pounding, and my heart shattered. I heard him scratch his head.
"Uh, sure. What's goin' on?" he asked, concerned. I sighed quietly.
"I...I'll tell you when I get there. I'll go insane if I tell you over the phone," I murmured, and I stared at my silvery keys.
"Oh. Alrighty. C'mon over now if you want. See you in a bit," I nodded, and I opened my mouth to say goodbye, but nothing came out. I struggled to speak.
"Yeah. See you in a bit," I hung up, and sat back in my chair. God...Mikey was always there for me, through everything I had ever gone through; my anxiety attacks, when Joey and Jakob were born, at the wedding...I sighed deeply. "Oh, God help me get there," I pulled myself out of my chair. I ripped the door open and walked out of the house. I slowly pulled the door open, and slumped in the seat.
I slid the keys into the key slot, and backed out from the driveway. I drove silently down the road. Sure, I only lived three miles from his house, but it felt like it was three million. I pushed harder on the pedal, the car jerking forward. Eventually the pedal was on the floor, and I was ready for anything. It happened in slow motion. I was driving faster and faster, the only thing I could hear was my heartbeat. Suddenly a huge eighteen wheeler appeared in front of my car. It was too late, nothing that I could do. Not to mention that I didn't care. Car, meet truck. Truck, meet car. I felt my body jerk forward, and felt my head slam off of the steering wheel.
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