Another kind of Idiot. (Sequel to Loser. Weirdo. Faggot.), chapter 7
The two boys walked home together. Billie still felt a little weak, and had the strong idea he would continue to for the rest of the day. The walk seemed longer than normal. Billie put it to the fact that he had a massive hangover. But he also felt something else. Something was up with Tre. He was normally loud. Mischievous. Perverted. And a tad bit annoying. But all of that was gone today. Quiet. Calm. Saintly. Every word that Tre wasn't, seemed to fit him now.
"Tre," Billie asked, taking a gasping breath to sit down on the sidewalk, "What's up with you?" Tre released his arm supporting Billie. He didn't seem sad. Or did he? Tre silently sat down on the curb next to Billie.
"It's nothing man. I'm not supposed to tell." Billie cocked his head to one side, face twisting in confusion. He shrugged. This was the first time Tre blatantly hid something from him. What was happening?
Billie slowly thought of everything that had happened within the past two months. Graduation. Band Try outs. Partying. Hangovers. It seemed life was starting to go downhill again. Billie shook the thought out of his head. He wasn't going into a panic attack here.
Tre began pulling him upwards. He accepted the help, and they started walking again. "You think you can make it to your house?"
"Yeah, I think I'll manage."
* * *
Rain began to fleck the rooftops when they arrived at Billie's. For Oakland, it sure rained a lot. Tre fumbled with the locks on the door, still trying to support Billie, and scooted him inside. Mike, Casey, and sure enough John, was there. Billie collapsed on to the couch. Hangovers and fresh tattoos didn't mix. An odd silence hung over them.
John spoke first, his face lit up by the glow of the TV. All the lights had been off. The dark was much more likable to them. "Bill, hey. They told me what happened. Are you okay, man?" Billie glared in response. "Oh, come on. I can tell you're hurt. Don't play the tough guy card on me." He laughed a little.
Billie shrugged, pulling his legs close to him to help numb the pain. "Why should it matter? You're not part of my life. You're not in the band." His voice was getting louder. "Do you know what kind of position that put me and Mike in? No, you don't. The band was my life. You killed me inside, John. You really fucking did."
For the first time Billie had seen, John looked legitimately hurt. He sat there, lips parted slightly, taking it all in. He swore John's eyes looked glassy, but it could have been the light.
"Billie..." He trailed off, trying to figure out what to say. "I love you. You're like my brother. I've always looked out for you. Didn't you ever think I quit the band for your personal good?" Billie's eyes looked over the floor, trying to ignore John's boring gaze into him.
He lifted up his head, looking at everyone in the room. They were silent. All eyes were looking at him. Mike was hugging Casey close, looking like he wanted to be somewhere else. Tre, on the other hand, he couldn't see from the doorway. But he knew he was being stared at by him, too.
John continued. "I was dragging you down. I can't explain it. I needed to escape. And I didn't want to put you through the pain of me just being gone one day. I'm leaving this town, Bill." It was the first time Billie had looked up at him in the eyes. He was shocked. He couldn't stand the thought of John never coming back.
"I'm going to college. I'm meeting a girl. I'm settling down. You can't be everyone's 16-year-old punk older brother for your entire life. You have to know when to quit. And I wore out my welcome a long time ago." He reached into his coat pocket, and pulled out an envelope.
"It's not much, but take it. It'll buy you guys some new stuff. Really Billie, you need a fucking jacket." He smiled, but it wasn't real. He was going to cry. And Billie would be right there with him. "Mail me something. A new album. A T-shirt. Surprise me. But don't forget about one thing." He slung his arm around Tre, giving him a fake headlock. "I was before this asshole." Tre laughed.
He shoved his car keys into his pocket, handing the envelope over. "Bye, guys," He said, his voice sounding weary. "I would have loved to stick around longer. Casey's a babe." Mike's eyes narrowed. "Ah, come on, don't sweat it Mikey." Casey gave make a soft nudge on the arm. "Oh, and Bill?" He looked heartbroken. Scratch that earlier statement. Hangovers, fresh tattoos, and best friends leaving didn't mix. "Get yourself that jacket."
"Tre," Billie asked, taking a gasping breath to sit down on the sidewalk, "What's up with you?" Tre released his arm supporting Billie. He didn't seem sad. Or did he? Tre silently sat down on the curb next to Billie.
"It's nothing man. I'm not supposed to tell." Billie cocked his head to one side, face twisting in confusion. He shrugged. This was the first time Tre blatantly hid something from him. What was happening?
Billie slowly thought of everything that had happened within the past two months. Graduation. Band Try outs. Partying. Hangovers. It seemed life was starting to go downhill again. Billie shook the thought out of his head. He wasn't going into a panic attack here.
Tre began pulling him upwards. He accepted the help, and they started walking again. "You think you can make it to your house?"
"Yeah, I think I'll manage."
* * *
Rain began to fleck the rooftops when they arrived at Billie's. For Oakland, it sure rained a lot. Tre fumbled with the locks on the door, still trying to support Billie, and scooted him inside. Mike, Casey, and sure enough John, was there. Billie collapsed on to the couch. Hangovers and fresh tattoos didn't mix. An odd silence hung over them.
John spoke first, his face lit up by the glow of the TV. All the lights had been off. The dark was much more likable to them. "Bill, hey. They told me what happened. Are you okay, man?" Billie glared in response. "Oh, come on. I can tell you're hurt. Don't play the tough guy card on me." He laughed a little.
Billie shrugged, pulling his legs close to him to help numb the pain. "Why should it matter? You're not part of my life. You're not in the band." His voice was getting louder. "Do you know what kind of position that put me and Mike in? No, you don't. The band was my life. You killed me inside, John. You really fucking did."
For the first time Billie had seen, John looked legitimately hurt. He sat there, lips parted slightly, taking it all in. He swore John's eyes looked glassy, but it could have been the light.
"Billie..." He trailed off, trying to figure out what to say. "I love you. You're like my brother. I've always looked out for you. Didn't you ever think I quit the band for your personal good?" Billie's eyes looked over the floor, trying to ignore John's boring gaze into him.
He lifted up his head, looking at everyone in the room. They were silent. All eyes were looking at him. Mike was hugging Casey close, looking like he wanted to be somewhere else. Tre, on the other hand, he couldn't see from the doorway. But he knew he was being stared at by him, too.
John continued. "I was dragging you down. I can't explain it. I needed to escape. And I didn't want to put you through the pain of me just being gone one day. I'm leaving this town, Bill." It was the first time Billie had looked up at him in the eyes. He was shocked. He couldn't stand the thought of John never coming back.
"I'm going to college. I'm meeting a girl. I'm settling down. You can't be everyone's 16-year-old punk older brother for your entire life. You have to know when to quit. And I wore out my welcome a long time ago." He reached into his coat pocket, and pulled out an envelope.
"It's not much, but take it. It'll buy you guys some new stuff. Really Billie, you need a fucking jacket." He smiled, but it wasn't real. He was going to cry. And Billie would be right there with him. "Mail me something. A new album. A T-shirt. Surprise me. But don't forget about one thing." He slung his arm around Tre, giving him a fake headlock. "I was before this asshole." Tre laughed.
He shoved his car keys into his pocket, handing the envelope over. "Bye, guys," He said, his voice sounding weary. "I would have loved to stick around longer. Casey's a babe." Mike's eyes narrowed. "Ah, come on, don't sweat it Mikey." Casey gave make a soft nudge on the arm. "Oh, and Bill?" He looked heartbroken. Scratch that earlier statement. Hangovers, fresh tattoos, and best friends leaving didn't mix. "Get yourself that jacket."
