Green Hogwarts, chapter 1

Billie Joe:

I want to smash stuff. Seriously, I have to find the perfect place, the recording studio can pay for it later. I'm touring in England, and I know this perfect broken down mansion... It'll be down within the hour! I went to the mansion as soon as the autograph signing was over. Hahaha, I get to break stuff now. I hope Tre doesn't follow. The dumb-a** would ruin it. The place is so old looking, I bet you I could wreck it. I walked over towards the 'moat', which was more of a ditch with water, and threw a rock it. It splashed... I jumped over it to go up to the walls. I took out the hammer I had snuck over in my leather jacket, and started to smash, but actually, the hammer went right through, like a hologram or whatever. I started blindly walking to it, and I went right through. It was like a castle! It was huge, definitely not vacant! I saw a man with black greasy hair in dark robe things walk by with a few kids. Possibly his own? One kid with black hair looked at me weirdly. I hid in a connecting hall. Where the heck am I?

Harry Potter:

I sat down next to Hermione and Ron. The sorting had just finished.

"Where were you Harry?" asked Hermione.

"I was exploring the halls. Where do you think I was Hermione? I was with Snape!" I said sarcastically.

"Why? Was it something to do with the Or-" asked Hermione, but was cut off by Ron, who said: "What did he do to you this time mate?"

"He took about 50 points off Gryffindor because my robes were like 1 inch too short." I said heatedly, "But guess what I saw on my way back here?"

"What?" asked Ron excitedly, grabbing a plate of chicken.

"I saw some guy wearing makeup!"

"What's makeup?" asked Ron over a mouthful of chicken.

"It's something muggle women use to enhance their features. I've never had much use for it," said Hermione before I could answer.

"But that doesn't explain why a dude was wearing it." I said suspiciously, reaching for some chicken for myself.

Billie Joe:

I have never seen a bigger dining room, or so many kids. Ever. It's scary! I want out! I tried to walk back through the walls, but I smacked into them. Let's just say it's good I don't have a nose ring anymore.

I peeked into the dining room thing, all the kids were wearing these robes. There was a row of adults at the front of the room. Maybe I should talk to them...No! I can't. What if they try to kill me or something? I better not get myself worked up. I walked quietly among the halls of this castle. The stairs move! "What the..." I looked at a picture on the wall, and it jumped out at me. "Hello, there. Why aren't you in robes?" It asked me. I'm not drunk, or high, or anything! What's going on? Am I being punk'd? Where's Ashton? I decided to hide. But where?

Harry Potter:

I walked down the hall to Gryffindor Tower. I was about to give the Fat Lady the password, when I saw the same make upped man I had seen before. He was staring at the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Password?!" I heard her ask impatiently.

"Fairy Lights you're annoying!" I heard him yell. Wait a minute, Fairy Lights is the password!

"Nooooo!" I yelled, but the Fat Lady opened for him. I ran in after him.

"Who are you?" I yelled. Then I saw he was standing over an unconscious Hermione. "What did you do!" I screamed frantically. He turned and smiled, showing perfectly white teeth.

"I'm your worst nightmare." He grinned. I fainted.

I woke up in a cold sweat, tangled in my bed sheets. Then I heard the curtains around my bed being pulled open. I looked up and saw the weird guy standing above me.

"Ahhhhhhhh!" I screamed. "How did you get in!"

"I don't know," he answered. "I called myself a basket case and some photo swung open and let me in."

"The password isn't even Basket Case! It's Fairy Lights!"

"Actually," came a girl's voice. "They changed it. Now it's Basket Case." Hermione came in carrying a tray of food. "Here BJ," she said, handing him the tray.

"How do you know me?" he asked, pulling away from her and the food as if it were a poisonous snake. "And where am I?"