What the Hell Are You Doing?, chapter 2
Hey guys, thanks so much for your comments--they really do mean the world to me. Updating is getting hectic considering I'm balancing School, competitive state Volleyball—which requires 3 hours of practice DAILY (ughity ugh ugh), and ya know... that little thing called a social life. But I'm fitting it in, cause I genuinely enjoy writing. I'm an idiot and forgot to post the last few sentences on the last chapter so here ya go:
Adrienne raised an eyebrow as Billie persisted to kneel on one knee, keeping a tight grip on her hand.
"Adrienne Ilene Armstrong, will you go on a first date with me?" Billie asked romantically, staring up at her with his growing green eyes.
"Hmm" Adrienne grinned, caressing his cheek momentarily "Only if you wear that sexy tie, you fashion genius"
__________________________NOW CHAPTER TWA___________________________
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Billie asked for the second time that evening, his back hunched, arms hanging loosely at his side.
Adrienne looked up from her lounging position on the couch with an innocent air, her left hand twirling through her hair. "Watching Oprah," She stated the obvious.
Billie slummed over to stand in front of the TV, crossing his arms in exaggeration. "I thought we had a date." He pretended to act hurt, his eyes brows lowering.
"Oh," Adrienne sighed, not actually paying attention to Billie Joe as she peered around his small backside at the weeping couple at the mercy of Oprah's integrating. "I thought this was just one of your fanatical antics of succeeding in persuading me to have sex."
Billie put on a face of up most shock "How dare...why would... when have I ever done anything like that?"
Adrienne muted Oprah and looked up at Billie Joe with a credible expression on her face. "You really want me to answer that?"
"Yes," Billie scoffed, shifting his weight to one foot as he watched his wife in transgression.
"Hide and go seek to rejoin ourselves with the child inside of us so we can better understand the ongoing trials of Jakob's terrible twos," Adrienne said blandly.
Billie raised his eye brows in expectancy.
"Resulted in having sex in the laundry room," Adrienne finished smiling slightly when her husband twitched.
"That was not what was intended," Billie defended himself, "It was just an added bonus."
Adrienne chuckled, "That's not the only incident. May I remind you the field trip to our back yard? We were going to sleep outside under the stars to better appreciate the homeless and have a rational understanding of why we should donate hundreds of dollars at a time to them."
Billie sighed at this one and avoided eye contact with his wife.
"Resulting in, once more, sex in a tent."
"Okay, shut up," Billie snapped "Just because you're a pervert and make everything about sex does not give you the right to blame me for our serious lack of innocence."
Adrienne let out a hearty laugh as she sat up suddenly, astounded at such an accusation from this man in particular.
"Me? The pervert? Billie, you were hiding in the laundry room NAKED."
"Well my clothes were dirty, and that's what you do in a laundry room! You wash clothes! It's not my fault you couldn't hold in your lustful urges! It's not my fault you tackled my poor defenseless body for your own pleasurable deeds," Billie shouted using obscene hand gestures to greater depict the "pleasurable deeds".
"Billie," Adrienne said quietly in amusement. "You attacked me."
Billie opened his mouth to argue but was interrupted as Adrienne continued to prove her point.
"And the whole homeless back yard thing?" Adrienne started.
"Yea! Tell me how that one was my fault. Just try."
"You exclaimed how cold it was and how you needed heating up. You said you learned in boy scout camp with Joey that the fastest way to warm up is to strip naked and crawl into a sleeping back with an already naked person."
"Well it's TRUE!" Billie shrieked.
Adrienne silently arched an eyebrow at him, obviously knowing this man too well to believe something that guiltless.
Billie's eyes darted around the room in annoyance as he folded his hands on top of his head. "If you're going to call me a perverted, charmless, user who uses playful antics to get his own wife in bed just because of certain suspicious incidents which resulted in, might I add, fucking amazing sex, then I just won't sleep with you at all." He crossed his arms.
Adrienne scoffed "We'll see how long that lasts."
Billie, not particularly wanting to loose his satisfying sex life, gave up and sat next to his wife as she unmuted Oprah with interest.He watched in silent amazement at how completely absorbed Adrienne was in this Oprah story when her herself has been deprived of a serious becoming of age event.
"I promise," Billie said staring at the annoying crying woman next to Oprah. "I will not do anything that will lead to sex. We will not have sex tonight. If that's what makes you happy. I just wanted to give you a taste of a first date, since we kind of skipped the whole traditional dating thing."
Adrienne clapped her hands together and hugged Billie happily "You mean it? You really mean it?"
Billie smiled, obviously impressed at how easily he could please his wife "I really mean it."
Adrienne kissed his cheek before her face fell in suspicion. "Wait....you're not going to drug my drink or something are you?"
Billie looked at her in disclosure "Adie, you're the most fucking paranoid woman I have ever met. You need to be on this show," Billie gestured at the now sobbing woman who was hanging off half the couch in self pity.
"Don't be heartless" Adie scolded, turning up the volume. "Her husband left her for a 70 year old millionaire after raping her, leaving her with a mentally retarded kid who is now in trial for murder."
Billie dismissed the woman's drama's and stood up from the couch "Whatever. Meet me in the dinning room around 9. Then the date will start."
Adrienne sighed but nodded, grabbing a tissue from her pocket and dabbing her eyes as the woman persisted to explain how her earlier daughter was abducted by aliens where her left arm was surgically removed and replaced with an octopus tentacle.
Adrienne raised an eyebrow as Billie persisted to kneel on one knee, keeping a tight grip on her hand.
"Adrienne Ilene Armstrong, will you go on a first date with me?" Billie asked romantically, staring up at her with his growing green eyes.
"Hmm" Adrienne grinned, caressing his cheek momentarily "Only if you wear that sexy tie, you fashion genius"
__________________________NOW CHAPTER TWA___________________________
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Billie asked for the second time that evening, his back hunched, arms hanging loosely at his side.
Adrienne looked up from her lounging position on the couch with an innocent air, her left hand twirling through her hair. "Watching Oprah," She stated the obvious.
Billie slummed over to stand in front of the TV, crossing his arms in exaggeration. "I thought we had a date." He pretended to act hurt, his eyes brows lowering.
"Oh," Adrienne sighed, not actually paying attention to Billie Joe as she peered around his small backside at the weeping couple at the mercy of Oprah's integrating. "I thought this was just one of your fanatical antics of succeeding in persuading me to have sex."
Billie put on a face of up most shock "How dare...why would... when have I ever done anything like that?"
Adrienne muted Oprah and looked up at Billie Joe with a credible expression on her face. "You really want me to answer that?"
"Yes," Billie scoffed, shifting his weight to one foot as he watched his wife in transgression.
"Hide and go seek to rejoin ourselves with the child inside of us so we can better understand the ongoing trials of Jakob's terrible twos," Adrienne said blandly.
Billie raised his eye brows in expectancy.
"Resulted in having sex in the laundry room," Adrienne finished smiling slightly when her husband twitched.
"That was not what was intended," Billie defended himself, "It was just an added bonus."
Adrienne chuckled, "That's not the only incident. May I remind you the field trip to our back yard? We were going to sleep outside under the stars to better appreciate the homeless and have a rational understanding of why we should donate hundreds of dollars at a time to them."
Billie sighed at this one and avoided eye contact with his wife.
"Resulting in, once more, sex in a tent."
"Okay, shut up," Billie snapped "Just because you're a pervert and make everything about sex does not give you the right to blame me for our serious lack of innocence."
Adrienne let out a hearty laugh as she sat up suddenly, astounded at such an accusation from this man in particular.
"Me? The pervert? Billie, you were hiding in the laundry room NAKED."
"Well my clothes were dirty, and that's what you do in a laundry room! You wash clothes! It's not my fault you couldn't hold in your lustful urges! It's not my fault you tackled my poor defenseless body for your own pleasurable deeds," Billie shouted using obscene hand gestures to greater depict the "pleasurable deeds".
"Billie," Adrienne said quietly in amusement. "You attacked me."
Billie opened his mouth to argue but was interrupted as Adrienne continued to prove her point.
"And the whole homeless back yard thing?" Adrienne started.
"Yea! Tell me how that one was my fault. Just try."
"You exclaimed how cold it was and how you needed heating up. You said you learned in boy scout camp with Joey that the fastest way to warm up is to strip naked and crawl into a sleeping back with an already naked person."
"Well it's TRUE!" Billie shrieked.
Adrienne silently arched an eyebrow at him, obviously knowing this man too well to believe something that guiltless.
Billie's eyes darted around the room in annoyance as he folded his hands on top of his head. "If you're going to call me a perverted, charmless, user who uses playful antics to get his own wife in bed just because of certain suspicious incidents which resulted in, might I add, fucking amazing sex, then I just won't sleep with you at all." He crossed his arms.
Adrienne scoffed "We'll see how long that lasts."
Billie, not particularly wanting to loose his satisfying sex life, gave up and sat next to his wife as she unmuted Oprah with interest.He watched in silent amazement at how completely absorbed Adrienne was in this Oprah story when her herself has been deprived of a serious becoming of age event.
"I promise," Billie said staring at the annoying crying woman next to Oprah. "I will not do anything that will lead to sex. We will not have sex tonight. If that's what makes you happy. I just wanted to give you a taste of a first date, since we kind of skipped the whole traditional dating thing."
Adrienne clapped her hands together and hugged Billie happily "You mean it? You really mean it?"
Billie smiled, obviously impressed at how easily he could please his wife "I really mean it."
Adrienne kissed his cheek before her face fell in suspicion. "Wait....you're not going to drug my drink or something are you?"
Billie looked at her in disclosure "Adie, you're the most fucking paranoid woman I have ever met. You need to be on this show," Billie gestured at the now sobbing woman who was hanging off half the couch in self pity.
"Don't be heartless" Adie scolded, turning up the volume. "Her husband left her for a 70 year old millionaire after raping her, leaving her with a mentally retarded kid who is now in trial for murder."
Billie dismissed the woman's drama's and stood up from the couch "Whatever. Meet me in the dinning room around 9. Then the date will start."
Adrienne sighed but nodded, grabbing a tissue from her pocket and dabbing her eyes as the woman persisted to explain how her earlier daughter was abducted by aliens where her left arm was surgically removed and replaced with an octopus tentacle.
