Bam and Me, chapter 10
It had been a month since I had caught Bam with another girl but it still hurt so much, everytime I saw an advert for Viva La Bam on MTV I'd start crying and I couldn't stop, I had already tried to rip out my stitches and die again but Anthony and Flea were on Stella Watch 24/7 and it was starting to piss me off abit.
"Why does it still hurt?" I asked Flea one day.
"Because you stabbed yourself in the leg"
"No, not that, I'm talking about my heart"
Flea sighed and turned towards me, "You loved him and he betrayed you, that kind of pain doesn't heal like physical wounds, It takes much, much more willpower and mind strenght to overcome it"
"I just want it to stop"
"Well maybe you have to forgive him first, forgiving is a step to recovery"
"Forgive him? Fuck off, I'd rather lick toenails"
"That can be arranged" Flea smiled and put his foot up.
"Oh hell no, not your rancid feet" I giggled.
"Then forgive him, You don't have to like him again but you can forgive him"
I sighed deeply, "Fine"
Flea drove me to Bam's house and came to the door with me. Bam answered the door looking worse than he had done last time I'd seen him.
"Stella" he croaked and collapsed in the doorway. Flea darted forward and hoisted him up to support him on his shoulders. Bam had gone unconcious and he looked very weak. I helped Flea carry him to his sofa and I called an ambulance.
"Ape! Are you home?" I called once the Ambo said they'd be there soon.
"No she's got Art today and Phil is at work" Flea said looking at April's art schedule up on the wall. The Ambo arrived and took Bam away.
"Is anyone riding with him?" They asked.
I gritted my teeth, "I will" I said and got in next to him. As I sat next to Bam I could get a good look at how bad he really was. His eyes had gone from piss holes in the snow to sunken back in his head and dead looking, his hair was longish and straggly and hadn't been brushed and his facial hair was starting to look like Ryan's, his arms were skinny looking and I could feel his ribs very clearly. Had April and Phil not noticed the shape their son was in? The first aid people put an oxygen mask on him and he was rushed out in to the ER room. I waited with Flea outside while he tried to contact April and Phil.
April was here first and she was in hysterics when she got here.
"Bam! My baby! Oh my god" she gasped as she saw the doctors swarming around her sons unconcious body.
"Did you not notice how bad he looked?" I asked her.
"Of course I did! But you know Bam, he wont let anyone tell him what to do" April sobbed on my shoulder. The panic in the ER room had subsided and doctors filed out as Bam was rolled out of the room and taken to a recovery ward.
"Whats wrong with him?" I asked a nurse, much to my own surprise I was actually scared I was going to lose him.
"He is suffering from Exhaustion caused by lack of sleep, food and personal hygeine and his brain put him into a coma"
"Oh my god" April kept repeating under her breath.
"Will he survive? Will he wake up?" I asked, I could feel tears coming to my eyes but I fought them back.
"We don't think he'll die in his coma but there is always a chance that his body is too damaged to make a recovery and his brain wont come out of it"
"Can I see him" I asked, the nurse nodded and I took April's hand and we went to Bam's ward. Nurses were hooking up a life support machine to him and IV lines. I held Bam's cold hand.
"Don't you dare die Margera, I'm not finished with you yet" I told him sternly. April had tears coursing down her cheeks as she wrung Bam's other hand. Phil arrived and I decided to leave. Flea was waiting for me outside.
"Is he alright"
"For the moment" I said and Flea took me home.
"What have I done Anthony?" I asked my brother.
"It's not your fault sis" Anthony told me but I didn't believe him. Bam had gotten that way because of me, because I froze him out of my life.
"He is the only guy I ever really cared about and I let him slip away"
"Stop it" Flea told me sternly, I was surprised, Flea doesn't usually talk like that.
"Your starting to wallow in self pity and it's not good, get yourself out of that hole now and get over it, it is NOT your fault Bam is in hospital, none of this has ANYTHING to do with you ok?" he told me and made me repeat it.
Bam hadn't improved so I went to see him, his eyes still looked sunken in his head and the nurses helped me cut his hair and tidy up his face and he almost looked like the Bam Margera I knew and despite myself, still loved.
One day I was holding his hand and I decided to forgive him properly.
"Bam, I'm not sure if you can hear me but I just wanted to let you know that I forgive you ok?" I told him and brushed a stray peice of hair out of his face. Since then his condition got better.
"Did you hear that Bam? Apparently your getting better" I smiled and squeezed his hand and to my surprise he twitched.
"Oh shit! What does that mean?" I asked the nurse. She checked his vitals again.
"I think he might be waking up, either that or..... Oh no" She whispered as the vitals screen suddenly flat lined. The nurse pushed the buzzer three times and started pushing the bed away. Doctors and nurses started talking in their freaky doctor lingo and I started paniking.
"Whats wrong? Is he going to die?" I asked, I got no answer and I was vaguley aware that I was crying. They used those paddle things on his chest and I had to turn away, the sight of his lifeless body jolting like that was too much for me to handle. I started pacing round and round, not sure what I should do when a nurse came out to tell me how he was.
"Is he ok?" I asked immediatly.
"He's fine, his brain tried to wake up too quickly and it was too much for his body so he flat lined but he should be awake soon" She told me. I wooped and cartwheeled down the hall, I even picked up an old lady and danced with her. I was so happy he was going to live!!
When I went to see him later on he was propped up in bed and awake.
"Hey you" I said as I sat down.
"Hey" he grinned.
"Could you hear what I was saying?" I asked.
Bam nodded, "Thanks"
His eyes were still sunken but I could see the light back in them.
"It's ok, I thought you might want your best friend with you" I shrugged.
"Your still my best friend? Even after what I did to you?" he asked in surprise.
"We did say best friends forever didn't we?" I reminded him.
"Well yea, but I screwed up your life, I hurt you and I don't think I can forgive myself"
I nodded, "You did but best friends do that, and I forgive you" I told him and held his hand in mine. Bam looked down at our intertwined hands and smiled.
"Cool"
April, Phil and Jess arrived to see Bam so I slowly made my exit.
"OI! Where do you think you're going?" Bam asked me.
"I was going to let you have some family time" I shrugged.
"Don't be stupid, you are family" April smiled and beckoned me over.
Bam held out his hand to me and I took it, April smiled at me.
"I'm so happy you two are friends again, it really isn't the same without you Stella" Jess grinned and hugged me. I must admit that I felt pretty happy being Bam's friend again, Flea was right after all, I wouldn't of been able to get over this if I hadn't of forgiven Bam first.
A couple of days later we were aloud to take Bam back home again, we were both itching like mad to go for a decent skate so the first thing we did when we got home was grab our boards and skate round West Chester and make dicks of ourselves. It felt just like the old days when we were kids skating round and annoying the old people. Later on that day we decided we wanted to play baseball so we got a bat and started chucking a ball round. Bam pitched the ball at Ryan and it went straight past him and through the window.
"Oh shit! Do you wanna go get that?" Bam asked.
"Uh lemme think about that....... No" Ryan laughed and ran around.
"Yes and Dunn gets a home run!!" He screamed and slid home.
"Well are you going to get the ball?" I asked Bam he shrugged and grabbed the orange Ape was about to eat.
"Bam! I was going to eat that!" she complained.
"You still can, but we need a ball first" he told her and pitched the ball to me, I swung the bat at the orange and it splattered all over the walls and Rake copped an earful of citrus.
"Oh fuck! I got vitamin C in my earhole!!" Rake cried out, trying to get the orange bits out of his wild hair. Bam laughed and grabbed a bottle of milk.
"Ok, who wants to hit this one?" he asked, grinning from ear to ear.
"Bam, no, don't you dare!" April cried out and tried to wrestle the milk from Bam.
"Ahh, no Ape! Come on, it's my house"
"Yes but you'll make me clean it up!" April shrieked as Bam hiffed the milk at his dad and it exploded everywhere. April was absolutly shocked, you think she would of been used to the mayhem of living with a bunch of misfits but surprisingly it still shocked her.
"Why does it still hurt?" I asked Flea one day.
"Because you stabbed yourself in the leg"
"No, not that, I'm talking about my heart"
Flea sighed and turned towards me, "You loved him and he betrayed you, that kind of pain doesn't heal like physical wounds, It takes much, much more willpower and mind strenght to overcome it"
"I just want it to stop"
"Well maybe you have to forgive him first, forgiving is a step to recovery"
"Forgive him? Fuck off, I'd rather lick toenails"
"That can be arranged" Flea smiled and put his foot up.
"Oh hell no, not your rancid feet" I giggled.
"Then forgive him, You don't have to like him again but you can forgive him"
I sighed deeply, "Fine"
Flea drove me to Bam's house and came to the door with me. Bam answered the door looking worse than he had done last time I'd seen him.
"Stella" he croaked and collapsed in the doorway. Flea darted forward and hoisted him up to support him on his shoulders. Bam had gone unconcious and he looked very weak. I helped Flea carry him to his sofa and I called an ambulance.
"Ape! Are you home?" I called once the Ambo said they'd be there soon.
"No she's got Art today and Phil is at work" Flea said looking at April's art schedule up on the wall. The Ambo arrived and took Bam away.
"Is anyone riding with him?" They asked.
I gritted my teeth, "I will" I said and got in next to him. As I sat next to Bam I could get a good look at how bad he really was. His eyes had gone from piss holes in the snow to sunken back in his head and dead looking, his hair was longish and straggly and hadn't been brushed and his facial hair was starting to look like Ryan's, his arms were skinny looking and I could feel his ribs very clearly. Had April and Phil not noticed the shape their son was in? The first aid people put an oxygen mask on him and he was rushed out in to the ER room. I waited with Flea outside while he tried to contact April and Phil.
April was here first and she was in hysterics when she got here.
"Bam! My baby! Oh my god" she gasped as she saw the doctors swarming around her sons unconcious body.
"Did you not notice how bad he looked?" I asked her.
"Of course I did! But you know Bam, he wont let anyone tell him what to do" April sobbed on my shoulder. The panic in the ER room had subsided and doctors filed out as Bam was rolled out of the room and taken to a recovery ward.
"Whats wrong with him?" I asked a nurse, much to my own surprise I was actually scared I was going to lose him.
"He is suffering from Exhaustion caused by lack of sleep, food and personal hygeine and his brain put him into a coma"
"Oh my god" April kept repeating under her breath.
"Will he survive? Will he wake up?" I asked, I could feel tears coming to my eyes but I fought them back.
"We don't think he'll die in his coma but there is always a chance that his body is too damaged to make a recovery and his brain wont come out of it"
"Can I see him" I asked, the nurse nodded and I took April's hand and we went to Bam's ward. Nurses were hooking up a life support machine to him and IV lines. I held Bam's cold hand.
"Don't you dare die Margera, I'm not finished with you yet" I told him sternly. April had tears coursing down her cheeks as she wrung Bam's other hand. Phil arrived and I decided to leave. Flea was waiting for me outside.
"Is he alright"
"For the moment" I said and Flea took me home.
"What have I done Anthony?" I asked my brother.
"It's not your fault sis" Anthony told me but I didn't believe him. Bam had gotten that way because of me, because I froze him out of my life.
"He is the only guy I ever really cared about and I let him slip away"
"Stop it" Flea told me sternly, I was surprised, Flea doesn't usually talk like that.
"Your starting to wallow in self pity and it's not good, get yourself out of that hole now and get over it, it is NOT your fault Bam is in hospital, none of this has ANYTHING to do with you ok?" he told me and made me repeat it.
Bam hadn't improved so I went to see him, his eyes still looked sunken in his head and the nurses helped me cut his hair and tidy up his face and he almost looked like the Bam Margera I knew and despite myself, still loved.
One day I was holding his hand and I decided to forgive him properly.
"Bam, I'm not sure if you can hear me but I just wanted to let you know that I forgive you ok?" I told him and brushed a stray peice of hair out of his face. Since then his condition got better.
"Did you hear that Bam? Apparently your getting better" I smiled and squeezed his hand and to my surprise he twitched.
"Oh shit! What does that mean?" I asked the nurse. She checked his vitals again.
"I think he might be waking up, either that or..... Oh no" She whispered as the vitals screen suddenly flat lined. The nurse pushed the buzzer three times and started pushing the bed away. Doctors and nurses started talking in their freaky doctor lingo and I started paniking.
"Whats wrong? Is he going to die?" I asked, I got no answer and I was vaguley aware that I was crying. They used those paddle things on his chest and I had to turn away, the sight of his lifeless body jolting like that was too much for me to handle. I started pacing round and round, not sure what I should do when a nurse came out to tell me how he was.
"Is he ok?" I asked immediatly.
"He's fine, his brain tried to wake up too quickly and it was too much for his body so he flat lined but he should be awake soon" She told me. I wooped and cartwheeled down the hall, I even picked up an old lady and danced with her. I was so happy he was going to live!!
When I went to see him later on he was propped up in bed and awake.
"Hey you" I said as I sat down.
"Hey" he grinned.
"Could you hear what I was saying?" I asked.
Bam nodded, "Thanks"
His eyes were still sunken but I could see the light back in them.
"It's ok, I thought you might want your best friend with you" I shrugged.
"Your still my best friend? Even after what I did to you?" he asked in surprise.
"We did say best friends forever didn't we?" I reminded him.
"Well yea, but I screwed up your life, I hurt you and I don't think I can forgive myself"
I nodded, "You did but best friends do that, and I forgive you" I told him and held his hand in mine. Bam looked down at our intertwined hands and smiled.
"Cool"
April, Phil and Jess arrived to see Bam so I slowly made my exit.
"OI! Where do you think you're going?" Bam asked me.
"I was going to let you have some family time" I shrugged.
"Don't be stupid, you are family" April smiled and beckoned me over.
Bam held out his hand to me and I took it, April smiled at me.
"I'm so happy you two are friends again, it really isn't the same without you Stella" Jess grinned and hugged me. I must admit that I felt pretty happy being Bam's friend again, Flea was right after all, I wouldn't of been able to get over this if I hadn't of forgiven Bam first.
A couple of days later we were aloud to take Bam back home again, we were both itching like mad to go for a decent skate so the first thing we did when we got home was grab our boards and skate round West Chester and make dicks of ourselves. It felt just like the old days when we were kids skating round and annoying the old people. Later on that day we decided we wanted to play baseball so we got a bat and started chucking a ball round. Bam pitched the ball at Ryan and it went straight past him and through the window.
"Oh shit! Do you wanna go get that?" Bam asked.
"Uh lemme think about that....... No" Ryan laughed and ran around.
"Yes and Dunn gets a home run!!" He screamed and slid home.
"Well are you going to get the ball?" I asked Bam he shrugged and grabbed the orange Ape was about to eat.
"Bam! I was going to eat that!" she complained.
"You still can, but we need a ball first" he told her and pitched the ball to me, I swung the bat at the orange and it splattered all over the walls and Rake copped an earful of citrus.
"Oh fuck! I got vitamin C in my earhole!!" Rake cried out, trying to get the orange bits out of his wild hair. Bam laughed and grabbed a bottle of milk.
"Ok, who wants to hit this one?" he asked, grinning from ear to ear.
"Bam, no, don't you dare!" April cried out and tried to wrestle the milk from Bam.
"Ahh, no Ape! Come on, it's my house"
"Yes but you'll make me clean it up!" April shrieked as Bam hiffed the milk at his dad and it exploded everywhere. April was absolutly shocked, you think she would of been used to the mayhem of living with a bunch of misfits but surprisingly it still shocked her.
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