Walking Alone, chapter 1
Chapter 1-- The Meeting With St. Jimmy
A steady rain fell from the starry night sky. The street around me was--surprisingly--completely deserted as I hurried down the slick pavement. I yanked my baseball cap lower on my head, shielding my face. How I'd managed to slip out of the bar unnoticed, I didn't know myself. The Boulevard was completely dark, except for the occasional glow of an overhead streetlamp.
I reached the alley and walked to the end of it, dodging garbage cans and other trash. I stood in front of the door, hesitating. Its faded red paint was now peeling off. Finally, I knocked three times, just as the phone call had directed. "Come in," I heard a weary voice from behind the door call.
Slowly, I pushed open the door and walked inside the abandoned building. Even though in here it was darker than on the street, the surroundings were suprisingly familiar. I could barely see the silhouette of a man by a window on the far side of the building, and the faint orange glow of a ciggarette. As I made my way closer to him, he became more and more recognizable.
"Jimmy," I whispered his name. His sky-blue eyes pierced mine as images of my past with him flashed before my eyes. I suddenly felt weak and sat down in the chair opposite him.
"I saw your new CD." Jimmy's voice was raspy. His eyes drifted to the window, and he gazed outside with somewhat of a longing. I'd always loved this building because it had a perfect view of the ocean. "Your songs...were about me..." His gaze shifted towards me again. "And you."
I nodded. Yes, me, I had been the Jesus of Suburbia. I hadn't wanted to tell Jimmy my real name...so I made one up. Now I wondered if he did know my name.
"Does anyone else know?" Jimmy said suddenly. He had his way of always randomly changing the subject. "Know...what?" I asked.
"About...you," Jimmy clarified. He leaned back in his chair calmly and took a long drag on his ciggarette. A puff of smoke drifted out of his mouth and into the air.
"No," I said, honestly. No one knew. Not even Adrienne. Not even Mike or Tre. Nobody. "And why didn't you tell them?" Jimmy asked. He stared at me, waiting for an answer. I swallowed.
"Because I didn't want them to know." I replied, staring at the floor. Jimmy nodded. Now I wanted to ask him a question. "How'd you know I'm with Green Day?" I asked. Jimmy smiled cockily and rasped, "I have my ways." Something about him always creeped me out.
"You have a family now," St. Jimmy said, changing the subject again. "I admire that." I nodded and thought about Adi, and Joey and Jakob, back at home. I missed them a lot, now that I'd been on tour for a while. Somewhere in the back of my mind, though, I'd always had that fear that I'd screw up as a parent and Joseph and Jakob would end up like me-- with someone like St. Jimmy.
As if he could read my mind, Jimmy said, "They won't screw up." I looked at him and nodded, though I didn't honestly take his word for it. Though I'd been through a lot with Jimmy, he was the type of guy you somehow couldn't fully trust.
I stood suddenly. "I...have to go." Jimmy just nodded. "Bye, Jesus," He said. I made my way to the front of the building and was almost out the door when I heard his voice one more time.
"Hey, Jesus," He called. "Did you ever find Whatsername?" I cringed at the thought of her. "No," I replied, sighing. Then I hurried out the door and back onto the street, leaving Jimmy behind.
A steady rain fell from the starry night sky. The street around me was--surprisingly--completely deserted as I hurried down the slick pavement. I yanked my baseball cap lower on my head, shielding my face. How I'd managed to slip out of the bar unnoticed, I didn't know myself. The Boulevard was completely dark, except for the occasional glow of an overhead streetlamp.
I reached the alley and walked to the end of it, dodging garbage cans and other trash. I stood in front of the door, hesitating. Its faded red paint was now peeling off. Finally, I knocked three times, just as the phone call had directed. "Come in," I heard a weary voice from behind the door call.
Slowly, I pushed open the door and walked inside the abandoned building. Even though in here it was darker than on the street, the surroundings were suprisingly familiar. I could barely see the silhouette of a man by a window on the far side of the building, and the faint orange glow of a ciggarette. As I made my way closer to him, he became more and more recognizable.
"Jimmy," I whispered his name. His sky-blue eyes pierced mine as images of my past with him flashed before my eyes. I suddenly felt weak and sat down in the chair opposite him.
"I saw your new CD." Jimmy's voice was raspy. His eyes drifted to the window, and he gazed outside with somewhat of a longing. I'd always loved this building because it had a perfect view of the ocean. "Your songs...were about me..." His gaze shifted towards me again. "And you."
I nodded. Yes, me, I had been the Jesus of Suburbia. I hadn't wanted to tell Jimmy my real name...so I made one up. Now I wondered if he did know my name.
"Does anyone else know?" Jimmy said suddenly. He had his way of always randomly changing the subject. "Know...what?" I asked.
"About...you," Jimmy clarified. He leaned back in his chair calmly and took a long drag on his ciggarette. A puff of smoke drifted out of his mouth and into the air.
"No," I said, honestly. No one knew. Not even Adrienne. Not even Mike or Tre. Nobody. "And why didn't you tell them?" Jimmy asked. He stared at me, waiting for an answer. I swallowed.
"Because I didn't want them to know." I replied, staring at the floor. Jimmy nodded. Now I wanted to ask him a question. "How'd you know I'm with Green Day?" I asked. Jimmy smiled cockily and rasped, "I have my ways." Something about him always creeped me out.
"You have a family now," St. Jimmy said, changing the subject again. "I admire that." I nodded and thought about Adi, and Joey and Jakob, back at home. I missed them a lot, now that I'd been on tour for a while. Somewhere in the back of my mind, though, I'd always had that fear that I'd screw up as a parent and Joseph and Jakob would end up like me-- with someone like St. Jimmy.
As if he could read my mind, Jimmy said, "They won't screw up." I looked at him and nodded, though I didn't honestly take his word for it. Though I'd been through a lot with Jimmy, he was the type of guy you somehow couldn't fully trust.
I stood suddenly. "I...have to go." Jimmy just nodded. "Bye, Jesus," He said. I made my way to the front of the building and was almost out the door when I heard his voice one more time.
"Hey, Jesus," He called. "Did you ever find Whatsername?" I cringed at the thought of her. "No," I replied, sighing. Then I hurried out the door and back onto the street, leaving Jimmy behind.
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