Hand VS. Heart, chapter 1
It started off pure and innocent. A simple day, and what they thought would be a simple night. It ended up being the most meaningful night they were to ever experience.
Nicole sat on the couch anxiously, waiting for her dad to come downstairs. When he finally came down the stairs, Nicole jumped up and pointed out the time. Her dad vacantly nodded, uncaring of whether they were truly late for the show or not, and then drove Nicole over to Jenn's house. Waiting at the end of the driveway, Nicole's dad watched her run up the driveway and then walk into Jenn's house - disappearing.
"Jenn?" Nicole called. Jenn replied from in her room, telling Nicole she would be out in a second, so with that, Nicole went back out to the truck to wait for her. From the distance, Nicole watched Jenn walk outside, close and lock her door, then break into a run towards the truck. As she approached with glee, Nicole moaned in shocked and muttered, "Oh my god."
Both girls were wearing the same outfit. The same black skinny jeans, with matching From First To Last T-shirts. Both girls had the same bright blue eye shadow on, and to top it all off, they were wearing the same bright pink bandana.
As Nicole stepped out to let Jenn in the truck, Jenn stood shocked at Nicole's outfit. "Oh, for the love of God," Jenn cried in rage. The tone in Jenn's voice proved that this was not an uncommon problem. Jenn slowly got into the truck and then Nicole slammed the door and go into the shotgun seat. While driving along the highway, after a silence, Nicole sarcastically pointed out that at least their shoes didn't match. Jenn wasn't very amused, for the shoes were the exact same color, with just a different design.
When they got to Optimist Hall, the center in New Market where most local shows were held, they both thanked Nicole's dad and then got out and into the line. As Nicole's dad drove off and both girls stood embarrassed, they caught a lot of people's attention. They weren't just matching, oh no. They were matching with the most bright and obvious colors.
"Oh, goodie," Jenn said looking ahead of her at the gaping line and ignoring all of the looks. Nicole wasn't paying attention; she was fixing her hair while Jenn chewed on her lip. Eventually, the line began to sizzle out until Nicole and Jenn were at the doors.
After paying and getting checked by security, they walked into the small hall where they approached the mass of people in the open area where the show was to take place.
"Well at least it's dark, which is more unnoticeable," Jenn pointed out and Nicole nodded with happiness. When they got in, they quickly realized that though dark, the entire area had black lights. Both girls looked at each other's hair in horror, only to see a fluorescent hot pink bandana on both of them - making it more noticeable when they were in the light.
"Fabulous," Nicole sighed and Jenn groaned. So now, they were just black blobs walking around with hot pink bandanas.
When the music began, both girls forgot. "Ryan is supposed to be at this show," Nicole whispered to Jenn in an excited tone.
Jenn smiled and said, "Awww." She understood Nicole perfectly, just like Nicole understood why Jenn was lingering right beside the speakers, anxiously staring and waiting. Nicole - had had a deep crush on Ryan for a long time, a boy who lived 138 miles away from her, whom she rarely got to see. Jenn - also had a deep crush, except the boy she liked was named Coady, the base player in a local band. She went to every one of their shows that she could and watched the religiously. Of course, Coady's asshole reputation was a put-off on all hope of Coady giving Jenn the time of day.
But when Coady's band came on, Jenn was completely zoned out, watching every move they made. Nicole, however was distracted by a familiar face she had just seen in the merging crowds - Ryan. Nicole nudged Jenn.
"Jenn, I see Ryan!" Nicole cried, but Jenn didn't even glance at her. She poked Jenn's ribs, which Jenn managed to ignore.
"I'm going over to see him, I'll be back okay?" Nicole said quickly, hoping to not loose him. Jenn muttered a yes, and with that Nicole ran off to chase after Ryan.
Coady had his back to the crowd, as usual. When he slowly turned around, Jenn became in a trance, not being to help her uncontrollable stare. To her amazement Coady not only caught her glare, but he held it, locking eyes with hers. She could feel her cheeks turning crimson as he continued to stare at her, but was unable to break the look. For four solid songs, this continued. As they finished, and Coady broke the glare, Jenn snapped out of it and looked around, as though she'd just woken up from a sleep. She spun around.
"Nicole?" she said, confused. As she scanned the crowds, a firm hand gripped her arm. She spun around quickly, only to be staring at the same blue eyes that had locked hers minutes ago. He looked shocked at his own actions, while Jenn froze, unable to speak.
"Hey um-" Coady said, but was immediately cut off by Trevor, the drummer, who came up from behind him. "We need you to help move the equipment, Coady," he snapped angrily, glancing at Jenn, then walking off. "W-wait, right here," Coady said and then quickly followed Trevor back to the floor.
Nicole searched the crowds for a few minutes, only to recognize the same red plaid shirt, and quickly ran up to Ryan. He stood, facing other people, while she nervously worked up the courage to tap his shoulder.
"R-R-Ryan?" she stuttered, prodding his shoulder. Hyper and wired, he spun around confused, and the gave a wide smile.
"Nicole!" He cried happily. "I owe you a hug, don't I?" She nodded happily and numbly. Quickly - almost too quickly for her - he threw his arms around her and squeezed her to himself. "Come outside with me and we'll hangout!" he cried happily.
Nicole quickly looked around, "Actually, I can't. I have to go find Jenn first, I left her alone," she quickly said.
"Gaaayyyyyy," Ryan said and then nodded. "Let's go find her!" He then cried. As they pushed through the crowds, from behind, Ryan cried out, "Don't loose me!" like a helpless child, gripping onto her hand. Then they pushed against the crowd back to the right speaker hand in hand, looking for Jenn.
They searched, until they found Jenn outside, sitting on the grass with Coady, alone. If it hadn't been for their talking, they would've never found them, for they were in the most secluded place possible.
Nicole ran up to Jenn, "There you are!" She cried. Jenn looked up.
"There you are!" Both boys glanced at the girls - the girls who had forgotten they were matching. Nicole quickly glanced at the lawn, to see Coady sprawled out. She dodged her eyes to Jenn, "Your with Coady," she said in between her teeth lowly, so he couldn't here. Jenn nodded excitedly and then nodded towards Ryan and said the same thing.
"I'm sort of hungry," Ryan declared, looking at Nicole, who looked at Jenn, who looked at Coady.
"Yeah, sure, you want to leave and get something to eat?" Coady said casually.
Jenn glanced at him, "Will we be able to get back in?" she asked.
He shrugged. "Who cares. I'm at shows every week - this - I have never done," he said smiling, making Jenn blush. Coady got the van going and then they all got into it, Jenn getting shotgun, and Nicole sitting with Ryan in the very back.
Ryan, already sitting close to Nicole, turned his head to stare at her, being so close that their noses nearly brushed. He widened his eyes like a little child.
"You love me don't you, Nicole?" he said. Nicole laughed, "Yeah, you caught me," she replied smiling. He smiled back and then grabbed her hand tightly, rocking it softly.
"I've seen you at a few shows," Coady said softly. Jenn went a little red, remembering the last show she was at. At the last show, her friend Karli had pulled a prank on Jenn, grabbing Coady's ass and then running away, making it look like Jenn did it. When Coady had spun around, Jenn panicked and make it even worse, and Coady did think it was her. "At the last show.. wasn't it you who grabbed-" Coady started but Jenn quickly cut him off with, "No, it-" which was then cut off by Coady.
"It's okay, I thought it was cute. I never mind it when cute girls grab my ass," he said and Jenn laughed, so happy and relieved. "Well, it is a nice ass," she kidded and he laughed, quickly taking his eyes off the road for a second to glance at her. His eyes were immediately filled with affection. She knew then - he wasn't an asshole. Maybe he was an asshole to certain people, but everyone was. Nervously Coady took his eyes off the road again, bent over and kissed her quickly on the cheek, then, embarrassed, looked back at the road. This wasn't the Coady she knew, the Coady she had imagined. He was sweeter - more real, more perfect.
By the time they arrived at the diner, Ryan had comfortably adjusted to the back seat, his arm stretching over Nicole's shoulders, cupping her into him. He had whispered something in her ear and she burst out into fits of hysteria beside Ryan who was laughing at his own joke - harder than she was.
"Alright, we're here," Coady called and then quickly parked the car and got out. Jenn opened the door for Nicole and Ryan. Nicole came out first, and after stepping three feet onto the ground, Ryan jumped out and onto her back. Coady laughed and slammed the door, then walked ahead and held the door open for Jenn, getting stuck holding it for Ryan and Nicole too.
They all sat down at the back booth. Jenn and Nicole sat opposite to each other, on the insides, then Ryan sat beside Nicole and Coady sat beside Jenn. When they were handed the menus, after Ryan decided, he flipped it down and glanced at them.
"So, are you going to explain the outfits?" he laughed.
"This happens a lot," Jenn said.
"We didn't plan it," Nicole continued.
"We never do," Jenn finished.
"Nobody matches me," Ryan pouted, looking down at his clothing, then hopefully glancing up at Coady with wide eyes.
"Oh, hell no!" Coady cried and they all laughed.
When their food came, Jenn finished first and then stole food from Coady's plate. Coady ended up feeding Jenn, while Jenn laughed hysterically, while Ryan and Nicole had a contest to see who could fit more French fries in her mouth. Ryan started choking, then coughed onto his plate, a clump of mush that had once been chewed French fries. "That's grosssss," Coady said laughing disgustedly while Ryan flung his head back laughing. Nicole, still gagging on fries, was in tears of laughter.
After dinner - and desert, Ryan looked at his clock. "Shit, I have a ride waiting for me back at the show. Gayyyyyy!" he yelled, looking around sadly. Then he gripped Nicole by both shoulders. "Will you come with me? I'm going back home," Ryan asked, Nicole looked at Jenn, who looked at Coady.
"Okay, where's the closet Train Station to your house in London?" Coady asked Ryan, who replied that there was one ten minutes walking distance away from him. "Okay, I'll have Jenn up at that train station for, one AM? Nicole will be there too, and they can catch a train ride home?" Coady said. Everyone was anxious for this plan, and all agreed. Ryan gave Coady directions to the station, and then they split the bill and piled into the van again.
On the way back, Coady drove steadily with one hand on the wheel, the other entwined with Jenn. Neither looked at each other. Jenn looked out of the window, staring at the night. Coady gripped onto her hand tightly, like he was terrified that she'd get taken away from him. Ryan sat up straight in the seat, while Nicole rested her head on his lap. His fingers wrapped around her hair and softly played and twisted them, while Nicole lay with her eyes closed.
When they arrived back at the show, Coady and Jenn didn't leave the van, only Ryan and Nicole, who got out quickly, waved, and then Ryan pointed over to a car waiting in the parking lot and both shadows disappeared until they were both safely in the car. Then Coady backed out and drove away, refusing to tell Jenn where he was going to take her.
Eventually, they pulled off at the side driveway of the beach.
"Are you serious? The water's freezing," Jenn said, shivering at the thought.
"Of course not, but the sand's warm," Coady said softly and she smiled. They both got out and began to walk to the beach, and onto the sand. The lake softly waving along the shore. Coady held onto Jenn's arm and walked ahead, bringing her up onto a pile of deep rocks, overlooking the entire lake. "This is where I come when I want to think," he said softly. She sat comfortably in his arms. "When, you just want to get away from everything. I swore to myself this would be my secret place, and I'd never share it with anyone - ever," he said.
"Then why did you take me?" Jenn enquired.
"Because somehow, I think you can appreciate it. You can see it like I see it," he said. She nodded slowly, looking at the dark water. "The first time I ran away, I came here. Right where we were sitting," he continued.
"The first time I ran away, I went to the park," she said smiling. He laughed.
"You've runaway?" he asked. "More than once," she said and he smiled and softly pushed her hair out of her face. "I suppose it would be terribly corny for me to give you a deep kiss, right?" he asked, a little awkwardly.
"No, it would be sweet. It... It, would... Also be my first kiss," she finally said, deciding she best not keep anything from him, hoping and praying he would understand.
"That's a lot of pressure on me. I'd better make it special, huh?" he asked. "I have a feeling you would anyway," she said and then he slowly lifted her up to him and draped his long arms around her, bringing her forward and nudging her a little closer to him. And then he kissed her. He gave her the kiss she had wished she had received for many years. The sort of kiss that you'd see in a movie. The sort of first kiss that would always be imprinted in her mind.
Ryan and Nicole were lying on a mattress against the wall in Ryan's basement, which was covered with blankets and pillows. She sat partially in his lap, holding the remote control to the Nintendo system. "I don't know how to play," she moaned and laughed.
He smiled, "that's okay, I'll help," he said and then wrapped both arms around her, holding the both ends of the remote, pressing fiercely on different keys while Nicole guided the little character around. She rested her head back on his shoulder, not watching the TV at all, but giggling at his wrinkled up face, which was stressed out at the videogame. She softly dropped the controller, but he didn't notice and lifted her hands up to his face and cupped his chin. He glanced and her and then blushed. "What?" he said, embarrassed.
"You're so cute," she laughed and he dropped the controller down, and wrapped arms around her waist, pulling her up onto his lap.
"I think you should stay with me. I would never mistreat you or anything, Nicole," he said softly and she rubbed noses with him.
"Promise?" she said softly, and he pushed closer and kissed her.
"Promise," he said. As he ran his hands up her back and prodded her closer to him, kissing her a little more roughly, a crack of lightning shot across the sky, and then everything shut down - everything went back.
Lightning crackled in the sky, and the rain came pouring down. Coady quickly whipped off his long sleeved shirt and wrapped it around Jenn, then they ran across the beach, to the nearest form of shelter, which happened to be underneath a huge tree. Out of breath, Jenn shivered, and Coady quickly draped both arms around her, pushing her onto him.
Teenagers are now expected to whip out pills and condoms, followed by a lot of questions like; Do you want to have sex? Do you have any STDS? Are you on the pill? Do you have a condom? Are you a virgin? Are you ready?
But these words seemed to be long forgotten. They tickled the cautious side of you, but evaporated underneath soft touches and pushes. Such questions were abandoned and seemed so unimportant during what would be the most memorable moment in their life. Passion can take vicious control over you, and that was the only excuse they would ever be able to hold onto.
Softly, Coady began to undress her, but before going any further, he looked straight into her eyes and lifted her head up. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he whispered hoarsely. She didn't say Yes and she didn't say No. Instead, she replied in the only way she could, by kissing him, encouraging him, and telling him in the best way that she was ready. And he knew. So they both did what they had always wanted to do, together, underneath an old tree on the beach in the pouring rain. With the thunder crackling above them.
Ryan had been shockingly scared of the power outage. In fact, he looked terrified, in the moon light. Nicole quickly crawled up to him and cupped his face. "You don't have to worry, Ryan, I'm right here," she said in the softest voice. He put his hands over hers and slowly nodded, looking out the window. "It's okay, It's okay," her voice said, getting more and more faded until it was completely muffled by his kisses and touches.
Not one word was spoken after that. They both looked into each other's eyes and knew that it was what they wanted. So she let it happen, he let it happen, and neither would live to regret it.
Jenn lay against the sand, covered by Coady's shirt. Her clothes were sprawled out beside her. She looked up, unsure of what to say or what to do. People had filled her mind with terrible thoughts of how your first time was going to be a painful and dreadful experience you would hate. What she had just experienced was soft, loving and above all, it was honest. She looked up at Coady, who was now dressed back in his boxers and jeans, sitting up and looking at the lake. Slowly, she grabbed for her clothing, and then began to dress herself. When she was fully dressed, she draped her arms over his back lazily and rested her chin against his shoulder. He glanced at her from the side of his eyes.
"I have to take you down to the station now, Jenn," he said softly and then he paused. "This was the most amazing night of my life," he added truthfully.
She nodded slowly. "It was for me too. Coady, I love you," she said. They both stood up, and hand in hand, they began to walk up the beach and back to the car. As they approached, Jenn and Coady watched a truck pull beside Coady's van and then a girl jumped out from the shotgun seat and glared down the hill they were walking up. "Coady!" she screamed, her voice harsh and shrill. "Coady fucking mccormack!" she screamed louder, her hands on her hips.
"Oh, fuck," Coady moaned as they got up the hill. The girl immediately ran up to him and shoved him with both her hands.
"What the fuck!" she screamed and then slapped him across the face, then she glared over at Jenn who stood shocked and speechless. "What the fuck did you do with my boyfriend?" she screeched, glaring from Coady's guilty face, to Jenn's shocked face.
"Nicole, Nicole, wake up, come on, we have to go to the station," Ryan said, nudging Nicole awake. She immediately woke up and stared up at Ryan. "We're going to be late, we have to walk, common Nicole," he cried. She quickly stood up and got changed. Ryan was already fully changed. The power was back on. "Alright, let's go, come on," he said, pushing her out of the house and onto the sidewalk. They walked at a fast pace. Nicole looked down at her feet, miserably while she walked. Finally, Ryan stopped. "Why do you look so sad?" he asked her.
"It mattered to you, didn't it Ryan? What we did?" she randomly asked. He looked a little stunned.
"Well of course it mattered, Nicole, but-" he stammered but got interrupted.
"But what?" she said quickly. He held both her shoulders in his hands, looking her in the eye.
"We live so far away Nicole. I wouldn't even be able to see you once a month," he said softly.
"Are you saying you don't want to date?" she asked, horrified.
"Nicole, it wouldn't work. I love you, yes, but I live in London, you live in Toronto. The distance is-" he got cut off again.
"It is 138 miles, Ryan. And I know that I'd walk that far just to see you for an hour. And you can't say the same?" she snapped.
"Of course, but Nicole, it's too far," he said flatly, looking terribly sad.
"I can't believe you. If you knew this all along, why ... would you do that with me! Why would you take me to your home and... and, do that!" she cried.
"I love you," he choked. She grabbed his hands and pushed them off her shoulders.
"But not enough to wait. You wouldn't be able to wait a week or two to see me, without fooling around with someone else," she said, heartlessly. He stood, teary and dumb. "I know my way, go home, Ryan," she choked.
"Nicole, please-"
"GO HOME," she said firmly and then he shook his head and practically ran back down the street, his head down. That walk - from the sidewalk to the train station - was the longest, coldest and hardest walk of her life.
Jenn had fled from the scene. She fled after the fight. "You have a girlfriend?" Jenn cried, yelled.
"YES, He has a girlfriend, you dumb child. What? Why do you look like you're the one who just got cheated on? You think he loves you? Cares about you? Darling, the only thing he ever cared about was the one thing he just took from you," the girlfriend screamed at Jenn, who shook with her own sobs. She looked to Coady who was glaring at his girlfriend. That's when Jenn ran. She shoved past Coady, knocking shoulders with him, then broke into a run. She ran along the road, for as long as she could, back to the show. When she approached, she ran and found Karli, where she fell into her arms and cried. Dirty, tired and betrayed, Jenn muttered something of a plea to Karli, begging her for a ride to the West Station in London. Karli dropped her off there. At the seemingly abandoned station, where she drove off, leaving Jenn the most alone she'd ever felt. Crying her pillow about not having a boy seemed like a dream compared to how she felt now.
Jenn found Nicole sobbing on the bench. The sound of Jenn's footsteps alerted her, and they looked at each other - both girls sobbing. Neither had to say a thing to each other. Somehow, they both knew. They didn't need to say. Together, defeated and cold, got onto the empty train, where they pressed their heads against the glass and watched all of the scenery spin past them as the train took them into the night. Back home.
Nicole sat on the couch anxiously, waiting for her dad to come downstairs. When he finally came down the stairs, Nicole jumped up and pointed out the time. Her dad vacantly nodded, uncaring of whether they were truly late for the show or not, and then drove Nicole over to Jenn's house. Waiting at the end of the driveway, Nicole's dad watched her run up the driveway and then walk into Jenn's house - disappearing.
"Jenn?" Nicole called. Jenn replied from in her room, telling Nicole she would be out in a second, so with that, Nicole went back out to the truck to wait for her. From the distance, Nicole watched Jenn walk outside, close and lock her door, then break into a run towards the truck. As she approached with glee, Nicole moaned in shocked and muttered, "Oh my god."
Both girls were wearing the same outfit. The same black skinny jeans, with matching From First To Last T-shirts. Both girls had the same bright blue eye shadow on, and to top it all off, they were wearing the same bright pink bandana.
As Nicole stepped out to let Jenn in the truck, Jenn stood shocked at Nicole's outfit. "Oh, for the love of God," Jenn cried in rage. The tone in Jenn's voice proved that this was not an uncommon problem. Jenn slowly got into the truck and then Nicole slammed the door and go into the shotgun seat. While driving along the highway, after a silence, Nicole sarcastically pointed out that at least their shoes didn't match. Jenn wasn't very amused, for the shoes were the exact same color, with just a different design.
When they got to Optimist Hall, the center in New Market where most local shows were held, they both thanked Nicole's dad and then got out and into the line. As Nicole's dad drove off and both girls stood embarrassed, they caught a lot of people's attention. They weren't just matching, oh no. They were matching with the most bright and obvious colors.
"Oh, goodie," Jenn said looking ahead of her at the gaping line and ignoring all of the looks. Nicole wasn't paying attention; she was fixing her hair while Jenn chewed on her lip. Eventually, the line began to sizzle out until Nicole and Jenn were at the doors.
After paying and getting checked by security, they walked into the small hall where they approached the mass of people in the open area where the show was to take place.
"Well at least it's dark, which is more unnoticeable," Jenn pointed out and Nicole nodded with happiness. When they got in, they quickly realized that though dark, the entire area had black lights. Both girls looked at each other's hair in horror, only to see a fluorescent hot pink bandana on both of them - making it more noticeable when they were in the light.
"Fabulous," Nicole sighed and Jenn groaned. So now, they were just black blobs walking around with hot pink bandanas.
When the music began, both girls forgot. "Ryan is supposed to be at this show," Nicole whispered to Jenn in an excited tone.
Jenn smiled and said, "Awww." She understood Nicole perfectly, just like Nicole understood why Jenn was lingering right beside the speakers, anxiously staring and waiting. Nicole - had had a deep crush on Ryan for a long time, a boy who lived 138 miles away from her, whom she rarely got to see. Jenn - also had a deep crush, except the boy she liked was named Coady, the base player in a local band. She went to every one of their shows that she could and watched the religiously. Of course, Coady's asshole reputation was a put-off on all hope of Coady giving Jenn the time of day.
But when Coady's band came on, Jenn was completely zoned out, watching every move they made. Nicole, however was distracted by a familiar face she had just seen in the merging crowds - Ryan. Nicole nudged Jenn.
"Jenn, I see Ryan!" Nicole cried, but Jenn didn't even glance at her. She poked Jenn's ribs, which Jenn managed to ignore.
"I'm going over to see him, I'll be back okay?" Nicole said quickly, hoping to not loose him. Jenn muttered a yes, and with that Nicole ran off to chase after Ryan.
Coady had his back to the crowd, as usual. When he slowly turned around, Jenn became in a trance, not being to help her uncontrollable stare. To her amazement Coady not only caught her glare, but he held it, locking eyes with hers. She could feel her cheeks turning crimson as he continued to stare at her, but was unable to break the look. For four solid songs, this continued. As they finished, and Coady broke the glare, Jenn snapped out of it and looked around, as though she'd just woken up from a sleep. She spun around.
"Nicole?" she said, confused. As she scanned the crowds, a firm hand gripped her arm. She spun around quickly, only to be staring at the same blue eyes that had locked hers minutes ago. He looked shocked at his own actions, while Jenn froze, unable to speak.
"Hey um-" Coady said, but was immediately cut off by Trevor, the drummer, who came up from behind him. "We need you to help move the equipment, Coady," he snapped angrily, glancing at Jenn, then walking off. "W-wait, right here," Coady said and then quickly followed Trevor back to the floor.
Nicole searched the crowds for a few minutes, only to recognize the same red plaid shirt, and quickly ran up to Ryan. He stood, facing other people, while she nervously worked up the courage to tap his shoulder.
"R-R-Ryan?" she stuttered, prodding his shoulder. Hyper and wired, he spun around confused, and the gave a wide smile.
"Nicole!" He cried happily. "I owe you a hug, don't I?" She nodded happily and numbly. Quickly - almost too quickly for her - he threw his arms around her and squeezed her to himself. "Come outside with me and we'll hangout!" he cried happily.
Nicole quickly looked around, "Actually, I can't. I have to go find Jenn first, I left her alone," she quickly said.
"Gaaayyyyyy," Ryan said and then nodded. "Let's go find her!" He then cried. As they pushed through the crowds, from behind, Ryan cried out, "Don't loose me!" like a helpless child, gripping onto her hand. Then they pushed against the crowd back to the right speaker hand in hand, looking for Jenn.
They searched, until they found Jenn outside, sitting on the grass with Coady, alone. If it hadn't been for their talking, they would've never found them, for they were in the most secluded place possible.
Nicole ran up to Jenn, "There you are!" She cried. Jenn looked up.
"There you are!" Both boys glanced at the girls - the girls who had forgotten they were matching. Nicole quickly glanced at the lawn, to see Coady sprawled out. She dodged her eyes to Jenn, "Your with Coady," she said in between her teeth lowly, so he couldn't here. Jenn nodded excitedly and then nodded towards Ryan and said the same thing.
"I'm sort of hungry," Ryan declared, looking at Nicole, who looked at Jenn, who looked at Coady.
"Yeah, sure, you want to leave and get something to eat?" Coady said casually.
Jenn glanced at him, "Will we be able to get back in?" she asked.
He shrugged. "Who cares. I'm at shows every week - this - I have never done," he said smiling, making Jenn blush. Coady got the van going and then they all got into it, Jenn getting shotgun, and Nicole sitting with Ryan in the very back.
Ryan, already sitting close to Nicole, turned his head to stare at her, being so close that their noses nearly brushed. He widened his eyes like a little child.
"You love me don't you, Nicole?" he said. Nicole laughed, "Yeah, you caught me," she replied smiling. He smiled back and then grabbed her hand tightly, rocking it softly.
"I've seen you at a few shows," Coady said softly. Jenn went a little red, remembering the last show she was at. At the last show, her friend Karli had pulled a prank on Jenn, grabbing Coady's ass and then running away, making it look like Jenn did it. When Coady had spun around, Jenn panicked and make it even worse, and Coady did think it was her. "At the last show.. wasn't it you who grabbed-" Coady started but Jenn quickly cut him off with, "No, it-" which was then cut off by Coady.
"It's okay, I thought it was cute. I never mind it when cute girls grab my ass," he said and Jenn laughed, so happy and relieved. "Well, it is a nice ass," she kidded and he laughed, quickly taking his eyes off the road for a second to glance at her. His eyes were immediately filled with affection. She knew then - he wasn't an asshole. Maybe he was an asshole to certain people, but everyone was. Nervously Coady took his eyes off the road again, bent over and kissed her quickly on the cheek, then, embarrassed, looked back at the road. This wasn't the Coady she knew, the Coady she had imagined. He was sweeter - more real, more perfect.
By the time they arrived at the diner, Ryan had comfortably adjusted to the back seat, his arm stretching over Nicole's shoulders, cupping her into him. He had whispered something in her ear and she burst out into fits of hysteria beside Ryan who was laughing at his own joke - harder than she was.
"Alright, we're here," Coady called and then quickly parked the car and got out. Jenn opened the door for Nicole and Ryan. Nicole came out first, and after stepping three feet onto the ground, Ryan jumped out and onto her back. Coady laughed and slammed the door, then walked ahead and held the door open for Jenn, getting stuck holding it for Ryan and Nicole too.
They all sat down at the back booth. Jenn and Nicole sat opposite to each other, on the insides, then Ryan sat beside Nicole and Coady sat beside Jenn. When they were handed the menus, after Ryan decided, he flipped it down and glanced at them.
"So, are you going to explain the outfits?" he laughed.
"This happens a lot," Jenn said.
"We didn't plan it," Nicole continued.
"We never do," Jenn finished.
"Nobody matches me," Ryan pouted, looking down at his clothing, then hopefully glancing up at Coady with wide eyes.
"Oh, hell no!" Coady cried and they all laughed.
When their food came, Jenn finished first and then stole food from Coady's plate. Coady ended up feeding Jenn, while Jenn laughed hysterically, while Ryan and Nicole had a contest to see who could fit more French fries in her mouth. Ryan started choking, then coughed onto his plate, a clump of mush that had once been chewed French fries. "That's grosssss," Coady said laughing disgustedly while Ryan flung his head back laughing. Nicole, still gagging on fries, was in tears of laughter.
After dinner - and desert, Ryan looked at his clock. "Shit, I have a ride waiting for me back at the show. Gayyyyyy!" he yelled, looking around sadly. Then he gripped Nicole by both shoulders. "Will you come with me? I'm going back home," Ryan asked, Nicole looked at Jenn, who looked at Coady.
"Okay, where's the closet Train Station to your house in London?" Coady asked Ryan, who replied that there was one ten minutes walking distance away from him. "Okay, I'll have Jenn up at that train station for, one AM? Nicole will be there too, and they can catch a train ride home?" Coady said. Everyone was anxious for this plan, and all agreed. Ryan gave Coady directions to the station, and then they split the bill and piled into the van again.
On the way back, Coady drove steadily with one hand on the wheel, the other entwined with Jenn. Neither looked at each other. Jenn looked out of the window, staring at the night. Coady gripped onto her hand tightly, like he was terrified that she'd get taken away from him. Ryan sat up straight in the seat, while Nicole rested her head on his lap. His fingers wrapped around her hair and softly played and twisted them, while Nicole lay with her eyes closed.
When they arrived back at the show, Coady and Jenn didn't leave the van, only Ryan and Nicole, who got out quickly, waved, and then Ryan pointed over to a car waiting in the parking lot and both shadows disappeared until they were both safely in the car. Then Coady backed out and drove away, refusing to tell Jenn where he was going to take her.
Eventually, they pulled off at the side driveway of the beach.
"Are you serious? The water's freezing," Jenn said, shivering at the thought.
"Of course not, but the sand's warm," Coady said softly and she smiled. They both got out and began to walk to the beach, and onto the sand. The lake softly waving along the shore. Coady held onto Jenn's arm and walked ahead, bringing her up onto a pile of deep rocks, overlooking the entire lake. "This is where I come when I want to think," he said softly. She sat comfortably in his arms. "When, you just want to get away from everything. I swore to myself this would be my secret place, and I'd never share it with anyone - ever," he said.
"Then why did you take me?" Jenn enquired.
"Because somehow, I think you can appreciate it. You can see it like I see it," he said. She nodded slowly, looking at the dark water. "The first time I ran away, I came here. Right where we were sitting," he continued.
"The first time I ran away, I went to the park," she said smiling. He laughed.
"You've runaway?" he asked. "More than once," she said and he smiled and softly pushed her hair out of her face. "I suppose it would be terribly corny for me to give you a deep kiss, right?" he asked, a little awkwardly.
"No, it would be sweet. It... It, would... Also be my first kiss," she finally said, deciding she best not keep anything from him, hoping and praying he would understand.
"That's a lot of pressure on me. I'd better make it special, huh?" he asked. "I have a feeling you would anyway," she said and then he slowly lifted her up to him and draped his long arms around her, bringing her forward and nudging her a little closer to him. And then he kissed her. He gave her the kiss she had wished she had received for many years. The sort of kiss that you'd see in a movie. The sort of first kiss that would always be imprinted in her mind.
Ryan and Nicole were lying on a mattress against the wall in Ryan's basement, which was covered with blankets and pillows. She sat partially in his lap, holding the remote control to the Nintendo system. "I don't know how to play," she moaned and laughed.
He smiled, "that's okay, I'll help," he said and then wrapped both arms around her, holding the both ends of the remote, pressing fiercely on different keys while Nicole guided the little character around. She rested her head back on his shoulder, not watching the TV at all, but giggling at his wrinkled up face, which was stressed out at the videogame. She softly dropped the controller, but he didn't notice and lifted her hands up to his face and cupped his chin. He glanced and her and then blushed. "What?" he said, embarrassed.
"You're so cute," she laughed and he dropped the controller down, and wrapped arms around her waist, pulling her up onto his lap.
"I think you should stay with me. I would never mistreat you or anything, Nicole," he said softly and she rubbed noses with him.
"Promise?" she said softly, and he pushed closer and kissed her.
"Promise," he said. As he ran his hands up her back and prodded her closer to him, kissing her a little more roughly, a crack of lightning shot across the sky, and then everything shut down - everything went back.
Lightning crackled in the sky, and the rain came pouring down. Coady quickly whipped off his long sleeved shirt and wrapped it around Jenn, then they ran across the beach, to the nearest form of shelter, which happened to be underneath a huge tree. Out of breath, Jenn shivered, and Coady quickly draped both arms around her, pushing her onto him.
Teenagers are now expected to whip out pills and condoms, followed by a lot of questions like; Do you want to have sex? Do you have any STDS? Are you on the pill? Do you have a condom? Are you a virgin? Are you ready?
But these words seemed to be long forgotten. They tickled the cautious side of you, but evaporated underneath soft touches and pushes. Such questions were abandoned and seemed so unimportant during what would be the most memorable moment in their life. Passion can take vicious control over you, and that was the only excuse they would ever be able to hold onto.
Softly, Coady began to undress her, but before going any further, he looked straight into her eyes and lifted her head up. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he whispered hoarsely. She didn't say Yes and she didn't say No. Instead, she replied in the only way she could, by kissing him, encouraging him, and telling him in the best way that she was ready. And he knew. So they both did what they had always wanted to do, together, underneath an old tree on the beach in the pouring rain. With the thunder crackling above them.
Ryan had been shockingly scared of the power outage. In fact, he looked terrified, in the moon light. Nicole quickly crawled up to him and cupped his face. "You don't have to worry, Ryan, I'm right here," she said in the softest voice. He put his hands over hers and slowly nodded, looking out the window. "It's okay, It's okay," her voice said, getting more and more faded until it was completely muffled by his kisses and touches.
Not one word was spoken after that. They both looked into each other's eyes and knew that it was what they wanted. So she let it happen, he let it happen, and neither would live to regret it.
Jenn lay against the sand, covered by Coady's shirt. Her clothes were sprawled out beside her. She looked up, unsure of what to say or what to do. People had filled her mind with terrible thoughts of how your first time was going to be a painful and dreadful experience you would hate. What she had just experienced was soft, loving and above all, it was honest. She looked up at Coady, who was now dressed back in his boxers and jeans, sitting up and looking at the lake. Slowly, she grabbed for her clothing, and then began to dress herself. When she was fully dressed, she draped her arms over his back lazily and rested her chin against his shoulder. He glanced at her from the side of his eyes.
"I have to take you down to the station now, Jenn," he said softly and then he paused. "This was the most amazing night of my life," he added truthfully.
She nodded slowly. "It was for me too. Coady, I love you," she said. They both stood up, and hand in hand, they began to walk up the beach and back to the car. As they approached, Jenn and Coady watched a truck pull beside Coady's van and then a girl jumped out from the shotgun seat and glared down the hill they were walking up. "Coady!" she screamed, her voice harsh and shrill. "Coady fucking mccormack!" she screamed louder, her hands on her hips.
"Oh, fuck," Coady moaned as they got up the hill. The girl immediately ran up to him and shoved him with both her hands.
"What the fuck!" she screamed and then slapped him across the face, then she glared over at Jenn who stood shocked and speechless. "What the fuck did you do with my boyfriend?" she screeched, glaring from Coady's guilty face, to Jenn's shocked face.
"Nicole, Nicole, wake up, come on, we have to go to the station," Ryan said, nudging Nicole awake. She immediately woke up and stared up at Ryan. "We're going to be late, we have to walk, common Nicole," he cried. She quickly stood up and got changed. Ryan was already fully changed. The power was back on. "Alright, let's go, come on," he said, pushing her out of the house and onto the sidewalk. They walked at a fast pace. Nicole looked down at her feet, miserably while she walked. Finally, Ryan stopped. "Why do you look so sad?" he asked her.
"It mattered to you, didn't it Ryan? What we did?" she randomly asked. He looked a little stunned.
"Well of course it mattered, Nicole, but-" he stammered but got interrupted.
"But what?" she said quickly. He held both her shoulders in his hands, looking her in the eye.
"We live so far away Nicole. I wouldn't even be able to see you once a month," he said softly.
"Are you saying you don't want to date?" she asked, horrified.
"Nicole, it wouldn't work. I love you, yes, but I live in London, you live in Toronto. The distance is-" he got cut off again.
"It is 138 miles, Ryan. And I know that I'd walk that far just to see you for an hour. And you can't say the same?" she snapped.
"Of course, but Nicole, it's too far," he said flatly, looking terribly sad.
"I can't believe you. If you knew this all along, why ... would you do that with me! Why would you take me to your home and... and, do that!" she cried.
"I love you," he choked. She grabbed his hands and pushed them off her shoulders.
"But not enough to wait. You wouldn't be able to wait a week or two to see me, without fooling around with someone else," she said, heartlessly. He stood, teary and dumb. "I know my way, go home, Ryan," she choked.
"Nicole, please-"
"GO HOME," she said firmly and then he shook his head and practically ran back down the street, his head down. That walk - from the sidewalk to the train station - was the longest, coldest and hardest walk of her life.
Jenn had fled from the scene. She fled after the fight. "You have a girlfriend?" Jenn cried, yelled.
"YES, He has a girlfriend, you dumb child. What? Why do you look like you're the one who just got cheated on? You think he loves you? Cares about you? Darling, the only thing he ever cared about was the one thing he just took from you," the girlfriend screamed at Jenn, who shook with her own sobs. She looked to Coady who was glaring at his girlfriend. That's when Jenn ran. She shoved past Coady, knocking shoulders with him, then broke into a run. She ran along the road, for as long as she could, back to the show. When she approached, she ran and found Karli, where she fell into her arms and cried. Dirty, tired and betrayed, Jenn muttered something of a plea to Karli, begging her for a ride to the West Station in London. Karli dropped her off there. At the seemingly abandoned station, where she drove off, leaving Jenn the most alone she'd ever felt. Crying her pillow about not having a boy seemed like a dream compared to how she felt now.
Jenn found Nicole sobbing on the bench. The sound of Jenn's footsteps alerted her, and they looked at each other - both girls sobbing. Neither had to say a thing to each other. Somehow, they both knew. They didn't need to say. Together, defeated and cold, got onto the empty train, where they pressed their heads against the glass and watched all of the scenery spin past them as the train took them into the night. Back home.
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