Please Don't Make This Harder., chapter 2
I followed Billie into the room where the others were. He let go of my hand and sat down on the couch, next to Rachel. I sat on the single couch and watched everyone enjoying a random conversation. It was just really nice...I don't know why. Just to see all my friends get along with out fighting. It just felt...normal.
"What do you think Imogen?" I looked over to see Paige looking at me.
"Huh?" I asked, giving her a confused look.
"We are all bored, so we are voting. Another movie or a game?"
"Hmmm, let's play a game," I said.
"WOOO!!! Alright what are we going to play?" Tre said, getting up and doing a little victory dance.
"I have no idea, but promise me you will never do that dance again," Billie asked, laughing but also giving him a "why in god's name am I friends with an idiot like you" kind of look.
I laughed when Rachel piped up
"Let's play spin the bottle."
Oh god. I didn't want to play but I didn't want the others to think that something is wrong.
"Umm... okay," I said uneasily. I got up from the couch and sat down with the others on the floor. Tre came into the room with a plastic bottle and spun it.
It landed on Rachel.
"Dude, I'm not even going to go there," Tre said as he spun the bottle again. This time it landed on Billie. I laughed as Tre got up and walked over to Billie. I didn't think he was actually going to do it but he leant down and full pashed him. That definatly shut me up.
Billie saw me giving me a queer look, so he pointed at Tre then himself and mouthed the words bi. I didn't really give it a second thought, as I am also bi. Next it was Paige's turn and to her delight, it landed on Tre. She looked away, embarrassed, but Tre went over to her and gave her a passionate kiss.
"Will you two go have sex already, we all know you want to." Billie laughed as Paige and Tre pulled away from each other, smiling and looking satisfied.
Rachel rolled her eyes kind off disgusted and grabbed the bottle, which landed on Billie. Rachel got up and kissed Billie with out a second thought. For some reason, I felt a little jealous. Stop it, I thought. You're just jealous that no one has landed on you.
I grabbed the bottle and spun it and it landed on Billie. Oh fuck. This was really awkward.
"Umm, I'll be right back" I got up and ran into the kitchen. Why did I just do that? Now they think I'm a retard. I leant against the door so I was able to hear what they were saying.
"Wow, I guess she really didn't want to kiss you." Tre laughed.
"Dude, shut up," was Billie's reply.
"Oh is someone mad that they didn't want to be kissed?" Tre asked, making fun of Billie.
"I wouldn't have kissed her anyway, so get over it!" I heard Billie yell at Tre.
At that moment, I stopped listening. I don't know why I was so upset. It's not like I wanted to be kissed by him...or did I?
Either way it was clear he didn't like me at all. I didn't even want to be here any more. Nobody wants me here and nobody wants me at home. I knew I was being paranoid but I didn't care. I felt so alone at that moment.
I walked into the room and looked around for stuff that I had brought over for that night.
"Hey guys, I'm not feeling to well so I'm going to head home okay?" I asked, feeling everyone's eyes on me.
"Aww don't leave." Rachel pouted.
"I-I have to go, see you guys at school." I grabbed my remaining stuff and walked out the door. Great, now where do I go? I can't go home otherwise I'll get another beating. I sat down at the front steps and thought about my options. I was thinking about it when a blonde haired teenager walked up to me.
"Hey, are you okay?" He asked, stepping more towards me. When he came into the light, I saw he was quite tall, with sparkling blue eyes.
"Yeah I'm fine, I'm just uhh...waiting for someone to pick me up, but I do know the people in this house, I'm not some random sitting on their porch." I said, smiling at the man.
"Well I'm Mike by the way."
"Imogen." I grinned up at him, not feeling so bad any more. "So are you here to see Tre and Billie?" I asked him.
"Yeah, were you here with Rachel and Paige?"
"Yeah I was, but I'm not feeling so hot right now, so I'm going home." I shivered at the word "home".
"Oh okay well I'm going to go see the guys, so I guess...see ya around?" He asked.
"Yeah, sure," I replied, watching him go inside.
A few minutes later I was still thinking about where I should go and I decided to go home and take whatever's coming to me. I got up and walked a few steps when I heard the front door swing open and a figure come out.
"Imogen?"
Oh great. It's Billie.
I spun around and saw Billie coming towards me. "I thought you were leaving?" He asked with a confused look on his face.
"Don't worry, I am." I turned around and started walking home until I felt him grab my arm. I flinched, as the part of my arm was tender.
"Why are you leaving?" He asked, still holding onto my arm. I closed my eyes and tried to take the pain I was feeling.
"Please...let go," I whispered, not opening my eyes. I felt him let go for a sec, but then grabbing hold of it once again. But this time, I felt him pull up the sleeve of my jumper, revealing deep cuts running down my arm. I heard him gasp and run his fingers over them. I pulled away and tugged my sleeve down. There was an awkward silence until I heard Billie whisper, "Why?"
"You wouldn't understand, no one does. You shouldn't get involved with people like me. I'll ruin your life. I'll always be depending on you for help. Just ask anyone at school. Or even better, ask Daniel, my ex boyfriend. He was the only person that I had told that my step dad raped me and he broke up with me because he thought I was a dirty whore. He told everybody not to get to close to me otherwise I will need you 24/7 and you wont have a life," I spilled out before I realised what I was saying.
"Wait, your step dad raped you?"
I felt a warm tear run down my face. I just let out my darkest secret to somebody that I don't even know. He stepped forwards and held him arm out, about to wipe the tears from my face, but I stepped back.
"Please, please don't tell anyone."
"Imogen, I won't. I would never do that."
I looked down and realised that we were standing in the street.
"I-I have to go."
"You can't go home, I won't let you. You don't deserve to be hit by your step dad."
"I can't stay."
"Why?"
"'Cause no one wants me here."
"Wha-"
But before he could finish I turned around and ran.
Ran to the place I once called home.
"What do you think Imogen?" I looked over to see Paige looking at me.
"Huh?" I asked, giving her a confused look.
"We are all bored, so we are voting. Another movie or a game?"
"Hmmm, let's play a game," I said.
"WOOO!!! Alright what are we going to play?" Tre said, getting up and doing a little victory dance.
"I have no idea, but promise me you will never do that dance again," Billie asked, laughing but also giving him a "why in god's name am I friends with an idiot like you" kind of look.
I laughed when Rachel piped up
"Let's play spin the bottle."
Oh god. I didn't want to play but I didn't want the others to think that something is wrong.
"Umm... okay," I said uneasily. I got up from the couch and sat down with the others on the floor. Tre came into the room with a plastic bottle and spun it.
It landed on Rachel.
"Dude, I'm not even going to go there," Tre said as he spun the bottle again. This time it landed on Billie. I laughed as Tre got up and walked over to Billie. I didn't think he was actually going to do it but he leant down and full pashed him. That definatly shut me up.
Billie saw me giving me a queer look, so he pointed at Tre then himself and mouthed the words bi. I didn't really give it a second thought, as I am also bi. Next it was Paige's turn and to her delight, it landed on Tre. She looked away, embarrassed, but Tre went over to her and gave her a passionate kiss.
"Will you two go have sex already, we all know you want to." Billie laughed as Paige and Tre pulled away from each other, smiling and looking satisfied.
Rachel rolled her eyes kind off disgusted and grabbed the bottle, which landed on Billie. Rachel got up and kissed Billie with out a second thought. For some reason, I felt a little jealous. Stop it, I thought. You're just jealous that no one has landed on you.
I grabbed the bottle and spun it and it landed on Billie. Oh fuck. This was really awkward.
"Umm, I'll be right back" I got up and ran into the kitchen. Why did I just do that? Now they think I'm a retard. I leant against the door so I was able to hear what they were saying.
"Wow, I guess she really didn't want to kiss you." Tre laughed.
"Dude, shut up," was Billie's reply.
"Oh is someone mad that they didn't want to be kissed?" Tre asked, making fun of Billie.
"I wouldn't have kissed her anyway, so get over it!" I heard Billie yell at Tre.
At that moment, I stopped listening. I don't know why I was so upset. It's not like I wanted to be kissed by him...or did I?
Either way it was clear he didn't like me at all. I didn't even want to be here any more. Nobody wants me here and nobody wants me at home. I knew I was being paranoid but I didn't care. I felt so alone at that moment.
I walked into the room and looked around for stuff that I had brought over for that night.
"Hey guys, I'm not feeling to well so I'm going to head home okay?" I asked, feeling everyone's eyes on me.
"Aww don't leave." Rachel pouted.
"I-I have to go, see you guys at school." I grabbed my remaining stuff and walked out the door. Great, now where do I go? I can't go home otherwise I'll get another beating. I sat down at the front steps and thought about my options. I was thinking about it when a blonde haired teenager walked up to me.
"Hey, are you okay?" He asked, stepping more towards me. When he came into the light, I saw he was quite tall, with sparkling blue eyes.
"Yeah I'm fine, I'm just uhh...waiting for someone to pick me up, but I do know the people in this house, I'm not some random sitting on their porch." I said, smiling at the man.
"Well I'm Mike by the way."
"Imogen." I grinned up at him, not feeling so bad any more. "So are you here to see Tre and Billie?" I asked him.
"Yeah, were you here with Rachel and Paige?"
"Yeah I was, but I'm not feeling so hot right now, so I'm going home." I shivered at the word "home".
"Oh okay well I'm going to go see the guys, so I guess...see ya around?" He asked.
"Yeah, sure," I replied, watching him go inside.
A few minutes later I was still thinking about where I should go and I decided to go home and take whatever's coming to me. I got up and walked a few steps when I heard the front door swing open and a figure come out.
"Imogen?"
Oh great. It's Billie.
I spun around and saw Billie coming towards me. "I thought you were leaving?" He asked with a confused look on his face.
"Don't worry, I am." I turned around and started walking home until I felt him grab my arm. I flinched, as the part of my arm was tender.
"Why are you leaving?" He asked, still holding onto my arm. I closed my eyes and tried to take the pain I was feeling.
"Please...let go," I whispered, not opening my eyes. I felt him let go for a sec, but then grabbing hold of it once again. But this time, I felt him pull up the sleeve of my jumper, revealing deep cuts running down my arm. I heard him gasp and run his fingers over them. I pulled away and tugged my sleeve down. There was an awkward silence until I heard Billie whisper, "Why?"
"You wouldn't understand, no one does. You shouldn't get involved with people like me. I'll ruin your life. I'll always be depending on you for help. Just ask anyone at school. Or even better, ask Daniel, my ex boyfriend. He was the only person that I had told that my step dad raped me and he broke up with me because he thought I was a dirty whore. He told everybody not to get to close to me otherwise I will need you 24/7 and you wont have a life," I spilled out before I realised what I was saying.
"Wait, your step dad raped you?"
I felt a warm tear run down my face. I just let out my darkest secret to somebody that I don't even know. He stepped forwards and held him arm out, about to wipe the tears from my face, but I stepped back.
"Please, please don't tell anyone."
"Imogen, I won't. I would never do that."
I looked down and realised that we were standing in the street.
"I-I have to go."
"You can't go home, I won't let you. You don't deserve to be hit by your step dad."
"I can't stay."
"Why?"
"'Cause no one wants me here."
"Wha-"
But before he could finish I turned around and ran.
Ran to the place I once called home.
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