Whatsername, chapter 1
He was outrageous yet frail, like that one china doll she's had forever. His little red tie was thrown everywhere as he bounced around, so into the song that it seemed to radiate from within him. And then he stopped, locking eyes with her so intensely she swayed a bit. She nodded to him and he held out his hand, somewhat offering her a chance to touch him like she so wanted to. She took it and he pulled her on the stage and right then it didn't seem to matter that he was a father, a husband, a thirty-two year old man. He dropped his guitar and pulled her close to him, his lips sliding softly across hers. She'd swear a gasp went through the crowd when she kissed him back fiercly, wanting to have every bit of him that moment. But then---
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
May god destroy all alarm clocks that haunt this world. Toni smashed her fist into the top of it and was rewarded with silence, except for the soft sound of Green Day coming from my radio. She switched her alarm clock off and stepped out of bed, shooting a look at her calendar. It was finally the day she had been waiting for for ages. She was going to her very first Green Day concert. She checked the time and then ran for her bathroom. She had a hair appointment in two hours and she needed to go ahead and get ready. When she got out of the shower, she somehow managed to get dressed, do her makeup, and paint her nails, just in time to go. Her dad had a look of utter disbelief on his face as they drove to the salon, like he couldn't believe he was allowing her and a friend to go to a rock concert alone. But for god's sake, she was fifteen now and could truly handle herself. She wanted to tell him this, to remind him yet again she was "grown up", but her throat seemed to stick around the words. This was hard enough for him, and she didn't want to make it worse. They arrived at their destination and out she jumped, rushing in like the world was ending. When her hair was finally done she wanted to cry from joy. Her "hair lady" had put temporary red and black in it, and it was in a high bun, with little spikes surrounding it. The only thing left to do was wait three more hours. They picked up the friend, Kashia, on the way home and the two spent the rest of the time talking and listening to the newly released CD 'American Idiot'. When they were satisfied with how well they knew every single word, they turned it off and waited. It wasn't long before her dad called to them. And then they were off, listening to the CD again on the two hour drive to Nashville. She was so excited she thought she'd pee herself before they got there. But her bladder stayed strong and when the car lurched to a stop, she glanced around. She'd never seen so many punk kids in her life. It was all black, red, and silver. Toni's little pink converse might just stick out a bit, especially with her plaid capris doing nothing to hide them. But she got out and held her head high, determined to have fun. And perhaps rape Mr.Armstrong. Kashia got out as well and they bid the father farewell before running to get in line. This would be an interesting night.
They were finally inside and went right to the stage, getting as close as possible. They didn't care that they'd be trampled. They were going to see fucking Green Day. And if Toni's plan worked, they'd be meeting them as well. The two waited as patiently as they could while everyone piled in and the noise level grew to an almost unbearable level. And then it started. Sugarcult ran out, jumping right into 'Memory'. So predictable. Toni bobbed her head and sat patiently through their show, not even excited for New Found Glory to come out. She came to see one band and one band only. Finally Sugarcult ended and everyone was left with ten minutes to cool down and wait. The two made small talk with those around them, with Toni every now and then making sure her jacket was still zipped up. The lights dimmed once more and the crowd turned to wait for NFG, although Toni was secretly singing random GD songs in her head. And then it was done and they were left with twenty minutes this time. Toni was shaking with excitement and her hand was clasped around the zipper on her jacket. As soon as the lights dimmed she pulled it down and threw her jacket to the side, eyes locked on the stage. This was her moment.
They walked out slowly, heads down, looking like little children who'd been scolded. But then he looked up, the same he who had been haunting every sexual fantasy Toni had had for months and she grabbed Kashia's arm so tight she gasped. He looked like sex and sweat and energy and pure ecstasy. She wanted him more at that moment than she guaranteed Adrienne ever had. She pressed closer to the stage, trembling when he looked right at her and softly chuckled at her shirt. It was her own creation and she loved it. She had received a shirt from this little fan club she had joined and the only original part left on it was the word 'green day' on the middle. The sleeves were shortened and sliced, as were other random parts. She had written song names on every inch available and his name was on the collar, in bright pink. He nodded at her and she nodded back, chancing a small wink at him. When he returned it and tilted his head, she stepped even closer, raising one eyebrow. They were having their own private conversation and it didn't matter that there were thousands of other people here waiting to hear him sing. He finally struck a chord on his guitar, but kept his eyes on her as he launched into 'American Idiot'. She sang along with him, loud enough to make him grin. Her throat was aching but she kept on, putting every amount of emotion she had in the words. Finally the song ended and he spoke, adressing her so straighforward that she took a slight step back.
"Who are you?"
She wanted to answer, but before she did, she had to make sure it was her he was talking to. She pointed to herself and he nodded, giving a soft 'duh' that resounded in the stadium.
"Um.. Toni."
"Oh, nice name. I like your shirt. Very original."
"Thank you. I like your tie."
Everyone was looking at her, she could feel it, and she heard people whispering around her. When she looked back up at him, she noticed he was blushing. Fucking blushing because she complimented him. That she could get used to. Then he glanced back at Mike, and he nodded, which had her a little confused.
"Who you here with?"
She pointed to Kashia then, who was staring at her with a very open mouth. She giggled at her and looked back up to see him nod at Mike again.
"Interested in going backstage?"
"Yes!"
She screamed that one word so loud that someone laughed, but she didn't care. Jealous, she'd bet. He held out his hand and she took it, being helped up and onto the stage by those around her. Kashia went through the same thing, except Mike helped her up. Toni was still grasping Billie Joe's hand like it was gold.
"Hi.."
He grinned at her and patted the top of her head gently, almost causing her knees to go weak. And then she was being led just backstage, still able to see the concert perfectly. Kashia remained silent through the whole thing, probably not able to believe what was happening. They listened to the entire "punk rock opera" for the tenth time that day, except it was better this time. Especially with him looking over every few minutes to make sure they were paying attention. And boy were they. Toni was nodding her head and singing, not as loud as she had been in the pit, but loud enough. It almost seemed unrealistic that they were actually here, back-fucking-stage at the greatest concert they'd ever see. But it was over too soon, and they stood silently as the band said their goodbyes and rushed offstage. Except, they were headed right where the girls were standing, and as Billie Joe passed he took Toni's hand and pulled her with him. She glanced back only to see Kashia also being pulled along, but by Mike. Tre was walking slowly behind them all, looking so tired Toni wanted to carry him. But her idol was holding her hand and she couldn't get that out of her mind. They were led to the bus and once inside, Billie Joe sat her down and grilled her about everything from her age to her hobbies, and even what kind of toothpaste she used. It was a little intimidating having someone so interested in her, especially since Tre had gone to bed, and Mike and Kashia were in the back room drinking, making her alone with him. She stared into his eyes for a moment, wondering if in fact this was real. And it was. She knew it was, and knew she'd never get another chance. So she kissed him, shyly at first, until she felt him become comfortable with the fact that he was kissing a very underaged girl, and then she kissed him like she would in her dreams, forcing her tongue past his lips and tasting every inch of his mouth she could. He tasted like sugar and spice, and by god everything nice, and she couldn't seem to get enough of that. The kisses intensified and she knew where this would lead. She could feel it. So she stopped. She stopped him and sat up (when had she even laid down in the first place) and she stroked his cheek gently with one hand. And in that moment she had respect for him, respect for his wife, his children, for everything he was. And she couldn't do this.
"You're married."
"I hate her."
"You're a father."
"They'd understand."
"You're thirty-two!"
"But you still want me."
"Yes. Yes I do. I just.. it feels wrong."
"Then tell me what to do to make it feel right. Please."
She paused them and traced his lips with her fingers, those eyes making her want to just take him right there. But she hesitated in her actions, keeping her fingers on his lips.
"You really hate her?"
"..Yes.. I don't like to admit it, and I rarely do, but she's become so different than she used to be. I mean, she used to be so wonderful, so free. Now she's this rigid, prozac-popping bitch.
She trembled as his lips carressed her fingers and she leaned forward, kissing him once more softly. This time, she wouldn't hold back. She'd do whatever the hell she wanted to do, with no guilt weighting down her heart. She grabbed the hem of his shirt tightly and yanked it off, sighing softly at the site of his pale chest. She ran her hands down it slowly, then attacked it, biting, sucking, and licking until it was covered in mainly large, bright red "love bites". She sat back and admired her work, relishing in the fact that he was practically panting. He reached for her own shirt and was careful in removing it, not wanting to damage it in any way. She grinned at his gentleness and bit into his bottom lip, the cold steel of her lip ring making him shiver. Her hands found their way to his waist and she worked on his belt with blind eyes, nothing entering her mind but pure want. The belt was quickly slipped out of his belt loops and thrown aside and she went to working on the buttons and zipper, her teeth tearing into his neck and causing him to almost scream out. When that annoying garment was unfastened she pushed him on his back and slid them down his legs, her eyes sparkling as she realized that a certain rumor she had heard was completely untrue. He tried to sit up and she slammed her hand in the middle of his chest, climbing back up his body and straddling his hips. She leaned down and brushed her lips over his gently, giggling when he muttered 'tease'. She knew he wouldn't care a week from now anyways, so why not make him wait? When he reached up to unclasp her bra she captured his hands and pinned them above his head, choosing instead to kiss him slowly, moving from his lips down to his neck. Adrienne would have no doubts of his infidelity when Toni was done with him, although she was sure she wouldn't care. He'd probably done this so many times before now that it was no wonder she'd turned into what he'd described her. He was probably the sexiest man she'd ever seen and it would kill her if he had affairs with other woman, having no care what age they were. Rushing back into reality she scratched her nails down his chest, leaving deep trenches.
"What do you want, Billie? Hmm?"
He looked up at her with eyes clouded with lust and she snorted, tracing a finger down a recent scratch mark.
"You. Very badly."
She nodded and lifted herself off of him, off of the couch, and stood beside him, hands resting on her hips. She wasn't sure what to do now. She could leave him like that, grab Kashia, call her dad and get the fuck out of there in a Dodge. Literally. Or she could fuck the hell out of that sexy little rock star. She chose the latter and slowly pulled his last remaing garment off, taking in a deep, slow breath.
"Oh.."
She couldn't think of anything more to say than that. After staring so long that he sat up on his elbows and grinned at her, she finally removed her own remaining clothes and motioned for him to stand up. He stood quickly and she found it funny that he was only a tad taller than her.
"There's one more thing you need. And I think you know just what it is."
"Oh yeah.. Be right back. Swear it."
He grabbed a small blanket from the couch and tied it loosely around his waist, leaving hardly anything to the imagination. And then he headed for the room Kashia and Mike were in and she grabbed the only thing left on the couch, a large pillow. She sat down and covered herself with it, waiting while Billie Joe went in the room, came back out, disappeared into the bathroom, and then finally made it back to where she was sitting. Right as he was about to drop the blanket, the door to the bus opened and the guys of Sugarcult piled in, then stopped at the site of the two. There were several soft snorts and they all went back to the other room, all of them whispering amongst themselves. The guys of NFG followed quickly after and as soon as they were gone, he dropped the blanket and she tossed the pillow side. The last thing that seemed to drift through her mind was the sound of a door creaking before she lost herself in Mr.Armstrong.
It was over, and she felt something she'd never felt before. It wasn't regret, wasn't guilt. It was attachment. She held onto him as long as she could before he said something about needing sleep. She watched him pad back into his little bunk, clad only in boxers. She could smell him as she got dressed, all the while thinking of an excuse for her father. She could still taste him as she walked back to rescue Kashia from all the little punk rockers. She could still hear his soft moans as Kashia tore herself away from the booze and guys. She glanced at his bunk as she passed it and jerked the curtain back, amazed to find him holding onto her armband, which had been discarded at some point. Her lower lip trembled and unshed tears gathered in her eyes, as his eyes locked with hers.
"I'm sorry.."
He sounded so helpless, so pitiful. She wanted to console, but she didn't move, just watched him.
"Don't be. You are married. I'm illegal. I'm just another quick fuck. No big deal."
The unshed tears were falling now, staining her cheeks and falling to the floor.
"Please don't. Please. Look, stay here tonight. I'll call whoever I need to call. We can talk."
She shook her head. Sympathy wasn't her thing. She wasn't crying for attention. She was crying because she didn't want to let go of him. Never. She wanted to lock him in a glass cage and save him forever.
But he wasn't hers to keep. He was Adrienne's. She could do what she wanted with him, and Toni couldn't. She could simply remember this night and keep it in her memory forever.
"No. We need to go. My dad'll be pissed if we don't come home. Goodbye Billie.."
She headed for the door and he followed, taking her arm gently.
"Toni, please. Don't say goodbye. Please."
Or perhaps he couldn't let go. Perhaps he needed her to stay. She sighed and dialed her father's number on Kashia's cell phone, then handed it to him. He spoke to her father for a few minutes, and she did as well, and he seemed a lot calmer than she believed he'd be. He was either drunk or stoned. Maybe both. She didn't really care. She headed back to his bunk they both climbed in, and as soon as he was asleep she was up and on the couch, quickly falling asleep. The next day she'd be another notch. He didn't wanna "talk". He wanted her to stay long enough to make her feel better, then push her away. Not that she cared. She fucked Billie Joe. Any regrets were useless and she'd eventually forget him, but never the time.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
May god destroy all alarm clocks that haunt this world. Toni smashed her fist into the top of it and was rewarded with silence, except for the soft sound of Green Day coming from my radio. She switched her alarm clock off and stepped out of bed, shooting a look at her calendar. It was finally the day she had been waiting for for ages. She was going to her very first Green Day concert. She checked the time and then ran for her bathroom. She had a hair appointment in two hours and she needed to go ahead and get ready. When she got out of the shower, she somehow managed to get dressed, do her makeup, and paint her nails, just in time to go. Her dad had a look of utter disbelief on his face as they drove to the salon, like he couldn't believe he was allowing her and a friend to go to a rock concert alone. But for god's sake, she was fifteen now and could truly handle herself. She wanted to tell him this, to remind him yet again she was "grown up", but her throat seemed to stick around the words. This was hard enough for him, and she didn't want to make it worse. They arrived at their destination and out she jumped, rushing in like the world was ending. When her hair was finally done she wanted to cry from joy. Her "hair lady" had put temporary red and black in it, and it was in a high bun, with little spikes surrounding it. The only thing left to do was wait three more hours. They picked up the friend, Kashia, on the way home and the two spent the rest of the time talking and listening to the newly released CD 'American Idiot'. When they were satisfied with how well they knew every single word, they turned it off and waited. It wasn't long before her dad called to them. And then they were off, listening to the CD again on the two hour drive to Nashville. She was so excited she thought she'd pee herself before they got there. But her bladder stayed strong and when the car lurched to a stop, she glanced around. She'd never seen so many punk kids in her life. It was all black, red, and silver. Toni's little pink converse might just stick out a bit, especially with her plaid capris doing nothing to hide them. But she got out and held her head high, determined to have fun. And perhaps rape Mr.Armstrong. Kashia got out as well and they bid the father farewell before running to get in line. This would be an interesting night.
They were finally inside and went right to the stage, getting as close as possible. They didn't care that they'd be trampled. They were going to see fucking Green Day. And if Toni's plan worked, they'd be meeting them as well. The two waited as patiently as they could while everyone piled in and the noise level grew to an almost unbearable level. And then it started. Sugarcult ran out, jumping right into 'Memory'. So predictable. Toni bobbed her head and sat patiently through their show, not even excited for New Found Glory to come out. She came to see one band and one band only. Finally Sugarcult ended and everyone was left with ten minutes to cool down and wait. The two made small talk with those around them, with Toni every now and then making sure her jacket was still zipped up. The lights dimmed once more and the crowd turned to wait for NFG, although Toni was secretly singing random GD songs in her head. And then it was done and they were left with twenty minutes this time. Toni was shaking with excitement and her hand was clasped around the zipper on her jacket. As soon as the lights dimmed she pulled it down and threw her jacket to the side, eyes locked on the stage. This was her moment.
They walked out slowly, heads down, looking like little children who'd been scolded. But then he looked up, the same he who had been haunting every sexual fantasy Toni had had for months and she grabbed Kashia's arm so tight she gasped. He looked like sex and sweat and energy and pure ecstasy. She wanted him more at that moment than she guaranteed Adrienne ever had. She pressed closer to the stage, trembling when he looked right at her and softly chuckled at her shirt. It was her own creation and she loved it. She had received a shirt from this little fan club she had joined and the only original part left on it was the word 'green day' on the middle. The sleeves were shortened and sliced, as were other random parts. She had written song names on every inch available and his name was on the collar, in bright pink. He nodded at her and she nodded back, chancing a small wink at him. When he returned it and tilted his head, she stepped even closer, raising one eyebrow. They were having their own private conversation and it didn't matter that there were thousands of other people here waiting to hear him sing. He finally struck a chord on his guitar, but kept his eyes on her as he launched into 'American Idiot'. She sang along with him, loud enough to make him grin. Her throat was aching but she kept on, putting every amount of emotion she had in the words. Finally the song ended and he spoke, adressing her so straighforward that she took a slight step back.
"Who are you?"
She wanted to answer, but before she did, she had to make sure it was her he was talking to. She pointed to herself and he nodded, giving a soft 'duh' that resounded in the stadium.
"Um.. Toni."
"Oh, nice name. I like your shirt. Very original."
"Thank you. I like your tie."
Everyone was looking at her, she could feel it, and she heard people whispering around her. When she looked back up at him, she noticed he was blushing. Fucking blushing because she complimented him. That she could get used to. Then he glanced back at Mike, and he nodded, which had her a little confused.
"Who you here with?"
She pointed to Kashia then, who was staring at her with a very open mouth. She giggled at her and looked back up to see him nod at Mike again.
"Interested in going backstage?"
"Yes!"
She screamed that one word so loud that someone laughed, but she didn't care. Jealous, she'd bet. He held out his hand and she took it, being helped up and onto the stage by those around her. Kashia went through the same thing, except Mike helped her up. Toni was still grasping Billie Joe's hand like it was gold.
"Hi.."
He grinned at her and patted the top of her head gently, almost causing her knees to go weak. And then she was being led just backstage, still able to see the concert perfectly. Kashia remained silent through the whole thing, probably not able to believe what was happening. They listened to the entire "punk rock opera" for the tenth time that day, except it was better this time. Especially with him looking over every few minutes to make sure they were paying attention. And boy were they. Toni was nodding her head and singing, not as loud as she had been in the pit, but loud enough. It almost seemed unrealistic that they were actually here, back-fucking-stage at the greatest concert they'd ever see. But it was over too soon, and they stood silently as the band said their goodbyes and rushed offstage. Except, they were headed right where the girls were standing, and as Billie Joe passed he took Toni's hand and pulled her with him. She glanced back only to see Kashia also being pulled along, but by Mike. Tre was walking slowly behind them all, looking so tired Toni wanted to carry him. But her idol was holding her hand and she couldn't get that out of her mind. They were led to the bus and once inside, Billie Joe sat her down and grilled her about everything from her age to her hobbies, and even what kind of toothpaste she used. It was a little intimidating having someone so interested in her, especially since Tre had gone to bed, and Mike and Kashia were in the back room drinking, making her alone with him. She stared into his eyes for a moment, wondering if in fact this was real. And it was. She knew it was, and knew she'd never get another chance. So she kissed him, shyly at first, until she felt him become comfortable with the fact that he was kissing a very underaged girl, and then she kissed him like she would in her dreams, forcing her tongue past his lips and tasting every inch of his mouth she could. He tasted like sugar and spice, and by god everything nice, and she couldn't seem to get enough of that. The kisses intensified and she knew where this would lead. She could feel it. So she stopped. She stopped him and sat up (when had she even laid down in the first place) and she stroked his cheek gently with one hand. And in that moment she had respect for him, respect for his wife, his children, for everything he was. And she couldn't do this.
"You're married."
"I hate her."
"You're a father."
"They'd understand."
"You're thirty-two!"
"But you still want me."
"Yes. Yes I do. I just.. it feels wrong."
"Then tell me what to do to make it feel right. Please."
She paused them and traced his lips with her fingers, those eyes making her want to just take him right there. But she hesitated in her actions, keeping her fingers on his lips.
"You really hate her?"
"..Yes.. I don't like to admit it, and I rarely do, but she's become so different than she used to be. I mean, she used to be so wonderful, so free. Now she's this rigid, prozac-popping bitch.
She trembled as his lips carressed her fingers and she leaned forward, kissing him once more softly. This time, she wouldn't hold back. She'd do whatever the hell she wanted to do, with no guilt weighting down her heart. She grabbed the hem of his shirt tightly and yanked it off, sighing softly at the site of his pale chest. She ran her hands down it slowly, then attacked it, biting, sucking, and licking until it was covered in mainly large, bright red "love bites". She sat back and admired her work, relishing in the fact that he was practically panting. He reached for her own shirt and was careful in removing it, not wanting to damage it in any way. She grinned at his gentleness and bit into his bottom lip, the cold steel of her lip ring making him shiver. Her hands found their way to his waist and she worked on his belt with blind eyes, nothing entering her mind but pure want. The belt was quickly slipped out of his belt loops and thrown aside and she went to working on the buttons and zipper, her teeth tearing into his neck and causing him to almost scream out. When that annoying garment was unfastened she pushed him on his back and slid them down his legs, her eyes sparkling as she realized that a certain rumor she had heard was completely untrue. He tried to sit up and she slammed her hand in the middle of his chest, climbing back up his body and straddling his hips. She leaned down and brushed her lips over his gently, giggling when he muttered 'tease'. She knew he wouldn't care a week from now anyways, so why not make him wait? When he reached up to unclasp her bra she captured his hands and pinned them above his head, choosing instead to kiss him slowly, moving from his lips down to his neck. Adrienne would have no doubts of his infidelity when Toni was done with him, although she was sure she wouldn't care. He'd probably done this so many times before now that it was no wonder she'd turned into what he'd described her. He was probably the sexiest man she'd ever seen and it would kill her if he had affairs with other woman, having no care what age they were. Rushing back into reality she scratched her nails down his chest, leaving deep trenches.
"What do you want, Billie? Hmm?"
He looked up at her with eyes clouded with lust and she snorted, tracing a finger down a recent scratch mark.
"You. Very badly."
She nodded and lifted herself off of him, off of the couch, and stood beside him, hands resting on her hips. She wasn't sure what to do now. She could leave him like that, grab Kashia, call her dad and get the fuck out of there in a Dodge. Literally. Or she could fuck the hell out of that sexy little rock star. She chose the latter and slowly pulled his last remaing garment off, taking in a deep, slow breath.
"Oh.."
She couldn't think of anything more to say than that. After staring so long that he sat up on his elbows and grinned at her, she finally removed her own remaining clothes and motioned for him to stand up. He stood quickly and she found it funny that he was only a tad taller than her.
"There's one more thing you need. And I think you know just what it is."
"Oh yeah.. Be right back. Swear it."
He grabbed a small blanket from the couch and tied it loosely around his waist, leaving hardly anything to the imagination. And then he headed for the room Kashia and Mike were in and she grabbed the only thing left on the couch, a large pillow. She sat down and covered herself with it, waiting while Billie Joe went in the room, came back out, disappeared into the bathroom, and then finally made it back to where she was sitting. Right as he was about to drop the blanket, the door to the bus opened and the guys of Sugarcult piled in, then stopped at the site of the two. There were several soft snorts and they all went back to the other room, all of them whispering amongst themselves. The guys of NFG followed quickly after and as soon as they were gone, he dropped the blanket and she tossed the pillow side. The last thing that seemed to drift through her mind was the sound of a door creaking before she lost herself in Mr.Armstrong.
It was over, and she felt something she'd never felt before. It wasn't regret, wasn't guilt. It was attachment. She held onto him as long as she could before he said something about needing sleep. She watched him pad back into his little bunk, clad only in boxers. She could smell him as she got dressed, all the while thinking of an excuse for her father. She could still taste him as she walked back to rescue Kashia from all the little punk rockers. She could still hear his soft moans as Kashia tore herself away from the booze and guys. She glanced at his bunk as she passed it and jerked the curtain back, amazed to find him holding onto her armband, which had been discarded at some point. Her lower lip trembled and unshed tears gathered in her eyes, as his eyes locked with hers.
"I'm sorry.."
He sounded so helpless, so pitiful. She wanted to console, but she didn't move, just watched him.
"Don't be. You are married. I'm illegal. I'm just another quick fuck. No big deal."
The unshed tears were falling now, staining her cheeks and falling to the floor.
"Please don't. Please. Look, stay here tonight. I'll call whoever I need to call. We can talk."
She shook her head. Sympathy wasn't her thing. She wasn't crying for attention. She was crying because she didn't want to let go of him. Never. She wanted to lock him in a glass cage and save him forever.
But he wasn't hers to keep. He was Adrienne's. She could do what she wanted with him, and Toni couldn't. She could simply remember this night and keep it in her memory forever.
"No. We need to go. My dad'll be pissed if we don't come home. Goodbye Billie.."
She headed for the door and he followed, taking her arm gently.
"Toni, please. Don't say goodbye. Please."
Or perhaps he couldn't let go. Perhaps he needed her to stay. She sighed and dialed her father's number on Kashia's cell phone, then handed it to him. He spoke to her father for a few minutes, and she did as well, and he seemed a lot calmer than she believed he'd be. He was either drunk or stoned. Maybe both. She didn't really care. She headed back to his bunk they both climbed in, and as soon as he was asleep she was up and on the couch, quickly falling asleep. The next day she'd be another notch. He didn't wanna "talk". He wanted her to stay long enough to make her feel better, then push her away. Not that she cared. She fucked Billie Joe. Any regrets were useless and she'd eventually forget him, but never the time.
