My happy endings (A My Chemical Romance story), chapter 3
"I'm gunna go get ready." I said getting up and walking upstairs.
I got into my room and sat down in the front of the door. I can't tell him that I'm not ready for them to come over because its his house. I'm so scared. I went to my draw and opened it. I looked in and saw the sharp blade glisten in the sunlight. Should I? I reached in the drawer and picked up the knife. I walked to the bathroom quickly with it and shut the door. I held my left hand over the sink and put the blade in it. I closed my hand. Tightening my grasp every second as the sharp pain made me relax. The sensation made me cry with pain and pleasure.
Although earlier I seemed happy, I wasn't. I spent most of the night up with Gerard because I was so sad. Depression had took over. I opened up my hand and dropped the knife in the sink. Blood poured from my hand into the sink, down the drain. Tears fled from my eyes as there was a knock at the door. Damn.
"Hurry up in there!" Gerard said.
"Yeah, I'm nearly done." I sobbed.
The bleeding was now slowing down. "You don't sound to good."
"Don't worry. I'm fine," I cried.
I wasn't. The bleeding stopped and I washed the blood out if the sink and off my hand. My hand stung from the cut. Gerard was still at the door. I walked out of the bathroom.
"Are you okay? You've been crying. Your face is tearstained," Gerard said concerned.
"I know. I'm fine."
Gerard pulled me into a hug. He grabbed hold of my left hand for reasurrance. Oh no. Why this hand?
"Shit!" I said and jumped back.
Gerard turned my hand over to reveal the thing cut accross my hand.
"You haven't - this isn't - did you- do this yourself?" He asked me.
"I'm so sorry Gerard," I cried looking at the floor losing eye contact with him.
"Why?"
"I can't tell you, it'll upset you." I said as Gerard's eyes began to swell up with tears.
"You can tell me anything,"
"I know."
Gerard lead me into my room and we both sat on the bed. He put his arm around me waist and pulled my head to his chest.
"Gerard." I said looking up at his crying eyes.
"Yes," He said.
"I did it because I was nervous."
"About what?"
"About meeting the guys, I don't think I'm ready. It was hard enough meeting you and I'm still not over it yet."
"I understand, I'll cancel it."
"Don't. Maybe I needed a little push in the right direction."
"Okay, but if it gets awkward I'll send them off."
"I didn't mean to hurt you," I cried.
"You didn't. It just came a bit of a shock. I used to do that and it's abit weird seeing that on someone eles. Promise me that will be your last," Gerard said.
"I promise."
Gerard wrapped both arms around me and laid down on the bed pulling me with him.
"I love you Gerard."
"Love you too Steph.
*5 minutes later*
There was a sudden vibration in the bed. I felt Gerard figet around. He pulled his phone out from his pocket and answered it.
"Hello... yes... I'm ready... How long until you'll be over... Okay.... we'll be ready.... See ya Mikey," He said, hanging up.
"Steph, they'll be over in 5 minutes." Gerard said giving me a peck on the cheek, "You need to get dressed," He left the room.
I got up from my bed and got ready. I pulled on a Green Day T-shirt and a pair of skinny drain pipe jeans. I went over to the mirror and applyed some thin red eye shadow under my eyes and some eyeliner on. Just then I relised that the cut from earlier had affected me. My skin was really pale and I realized I wasn't thinking straight. My head pounded and I had no idea what to do. All coursed from the sudden loss of blood. I decided to tell Gerard. He said he used to. I opened the door and went downstairs. Gerard was sat on the couch.
"Gerard, after you - you - you know, did you go real pale and not be able to think straight after?"
"What? And get thise real bad headaches?" Gerard asked
"Yeah," I replied.
"All the time. Why, is it affecting you?"
"Kinda... Badly."
Gerard went to the kitchen and pulled out a small pill of paracetamol from the cupbored. He gave it to me and a glass of water. I quickly swallowed the pill. I walked over to Gerard who was randomly stood around in the kitchen and gave him a hug. Suddenly, the doorbell ran and the door crashed open and 4 guys, who seemed to have a bit too much energy, came running into the room.
I got into my room and sat down in the front of the door. I can't tell him that I'm not ready for them to come over because its his house. I'm so scared. I went to my draw and opened it. I looked in and saw the sharp blade glisten in the sunlight. Should I? I reached in the drawer and picked up the knife. I walked to the bathroom quickly with it and shut the door. I held my left hand over the sink and put the blade in it. I closed my hand. Tightening my grasp every second as the sharp pain made me relax. The sensation made me cry with pain and pleasure.
Although earlier I seemed happy, I wasn't. I spent most of the night up with Gerard because I was so sad. Depression had took over. I opened up my hand and dropped the knife in the sink. Blood poured from my hand into the sink, down the drain. Tears fled from my eyes as there was a knock at the door. Damn.
"Hurry up in there!" Gerard said.
"Yeah, I'm nearly done." I sobbed.
The bleeding was now slowing down. "You don't sound to good."
"Don't worry. I'm fine," I cried.
I wasn't. The bleeding stopped and I washed the blood out if the sink and off my hand. My hand stung from the cut. Gerard was still at the door. I walked out of the bathroom.
"Are you okay? You've been crying. Your face is tearstained," Gerard said concerned.
"I know. I'm fine."
Gerard pulled me into a hug. He grabbed hold of my left hand for reasurrance. Oh no. Why this hand?
"Shit!" I said and jumped back.
Gerard turned my hand over to reveal the thing cut accross my hand.
"You haven't - this isn't - did you- do this yourself?" He asked me.
"I'm so sorry Gerard," I cried looking at the floor losing eye contact with him.
"Why?"
"I can't tell you, it'll upset you." I said as Gerard's eyes began to swell up with tears.
"You can tell me anything,"
"I know."
Gerard lead me into my room and we both sat on the bed. He put his arm around me waist and pulled my head to his chest.
"Gerard." I said looking up at his crying eyes.
"Yes," He said.
"I did it because I was nervous."
"About what?"
"About meeting the guys, I don't think I'm ready. It was hard enough meeting you and I'm still not over it yet."
"I understand, I'll cancel it."
"Don't. Maybe I needed a little push in the right direction."
"Okay, but if it gets awkward I'll send them off."
"I didn't mean to hurt you," I cried.
"You didn't. It just came a bit of a shock. I used to do that and it's abit weird seeing that on someone eles. Promise me that will be your last," Gerard said.
"I promise."
Gerard wrapped both arms around me and laid down on the bed pulling me with him.
"I love you Gerard."
"Love you too Steph.
*5 minutes later*
There was a sudden vibration in the bed. I felt Gerard figet around. He pulled his phone out from his pocket and answered it.
"Hello... yes... I'm ready... How long until you'll be over... Okay.... we'll be ready.... See ya Mikey," He said, hanging up.
"Steph, they'll be over in 5 minutes." Gerard said giving me a peck on the cheek, "You need to get dressed," He left the room.
I got up from my bed and got ready. I pulled on a Green Day T-shirt and a pair of skinny drain pipe jeans. I went over to the mirror and applyed some thin red eye shadow under my eyes and some eyeliner on. Just then I relised that the cut from earlier had affected me. My skin was really pale and I realized I wasn't thinking straight. My head pounded and I had no idea what to do. All coursed from the sudden loss of blood. I decided to tell Gerard. He said he used to. I opened the door and went downstairs. Gerard was sat on the couch.
"Gerard, after you - you - you know, did you go real pale and not be able to think straight after?"
"What? And get thise real bad headaches?" Gerard asked
"Yeah," I replied.
"All the time. Why, is it affecting you?"
"Kinda... Badly."
Gerard went to the kitchen and pulled out a small pill of paracetamol from the cupbored. He gave it to me and a glass of water. I quickly swallowed the pill. I walked over to Gerard who was randomly stood around in the kitchen and gave him a hug. Suddenly, the doorbell ran and the door crashed open and 4 guys, who seemed to have a bit too much energy, came running into the room.
