Decemberunderground, chapter 4

I woke up early the next day and I rolled over on my bed and checked the time on my clock.

It was 8:30 in the morning and I only had a half an hour left to get ready for my physiatrist meeting. I can just imagine all the dumb questions she's going to ask me. First she's going to ask me on what my opinion is on why A.F.I canceled their show, then she's going to ask me how I would like to start the session, then she's going to ask me about some false gay crap about A.F.I

I can't see why she would bother asking me all this stuff when the only answer she gets is a nod or a shake of a head or a shrug of the shoulders. I sighed and shook all the thoughts out of my head and got up from my bed and tied my black hair back in a tight ponytail.

I walked over to my closet and picked out my clothes for the day, they were almost the same type of clothes I wear everyday. The only thing I liked wearing was my A.F.I Miss Murder shirt with a black mini skirt and black leggings with skulls on them. That was my outfit that I wore everyday. My mother hates it, but it's not that I would change for her.

Once I was dressed I walked downstairs to the kitchen to find my mum already dressed and making breakfast. I rolled my eyes; this is very last minute mum. We don't have time. I sighed and sat down at the table I hated eating in the morning it made me feel nauseas but my mother didn't know that because I obviously never was able to tell her that.

My mum cam up behind me and placed a plate of eggs and bacon in front of me, and I could have threw up right that moment. The smell of the eggs and bacon made me very nauseous and I felt a headache coming on.

I pushed the plate away from me and placed my head on the kitchen table, I closed my eyes and started breathing in. and out. Very slowly, that's what I did when I ever feel nauseas. My mother furrowed her brow in confusion and sat next to me.

"What's wrong? You love eating breakfast in the morning!" my mother asked me in confusion. I just shook my head and rubbed my eyes, they felt like they were burning. My mother sighed ad rubbed my back up and down, she always did that when ever I was crying or when ever I felt sick.

"Well, we have to go we're going to be late for that physiatrist meeting," my mother replied and grabbed my plate and placed it in the Fridge. I got up and grabbed my book bag and I walked up to our car and got in the passengers seat. My mother started up the car and the song: Sliver and Cold started to play.

I pressed my head against the side window and stared at the people walking in the side walk. One boy was skateboarding and doing tricks at the skate park with his other friends, I used to skate board with my guy friends, I still do but I mostly skate board with Ryan. I watched as a woman was pushing her baby in her stroller, I wonder if I am ever going to have children. I mentally kicked my self when I thought of it, who would ever want to have children with me?

I noticed that we started to pull in to the physiatrist's parking lot and I sighed, another day of hell for me. When will I ever get a break from all this mental crap? I'm not going crazy nor am I crazy. I'm just the girl who has nothing to say.

My mum dropped me off to the physiatrist's waiting room and left. I sat on one of the chairs and grabbed an A.F.I magazine and started reading about the section that talked about why they canceled their show in Berkeley, California. My eyes started to widen as I started to read more and more of the article.

DAVEY HAVOK-MENTAL PROBLEMS.

I rolled my eyes. LIES ALL LIES.

Davey Havok Age 30 had to cancel his up coming show in Berkeley because he had kept having nervous break downs, says Jade Puget guitarist of A.F.I, he is now attending a Berkeley Physiatrist office and is being treated for his anxiety and break downs.

I started to giggle; I couldn't control myself it was the funniest thing on earth! Davey Havok has never had any mental break downs or any anxiety attacks that I know of. But the next thing that happened wasn't funny at all.