I'm Lost For Words, chapter 3
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In front of him was a sky blue Fender Starcoaster guitar. It was the guitar he'd showed his father. "Dad! You bought it for me? Thank you so so much dad! You are the greatest," Billie said. He picked up the guitar and started to strum on it.
Andy started to cough and breath heavily. He was happy to see his son so happy, but something was happening. Billie noticed that something was very wrong.
"Dad, are you okay? Dad, do you want me to get the nurse?" The younge boy asked franticaly as his father's coughing became worse. He set the guitar back up against the wall were he had found it. He ran to his father's side, "Dad, do you want me to get the nurse?"
Andy shook his head in protest. He knew that it was no use to get the nurse. It was over. "Son, I want you to know how much I love you. Tell your mother I'm sorry. The guitar, it's name is Blue, that is what I want you to call it. I'm sorry..." Andy's voice trailed off, "I love you." He said finally. His breathing grew quiet, and then it seemed to stop.
"Dad! DAD! No, come on Dad, say something. Dad! Please," Billie said, shaking at his father furiously." DAD PLEASE!" He cried, as tears started to fill his eyes. He had been the only one in the room when his father died. He pounded his fists into the side of the hospital bed. "DAD! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT LAST? Why!" He said through his sobs. He put his head down next to his father's body and cried. He sobbed uncontrollably. His father had died in front of him, his hero. The one person that had really meant something to him, had left him, and in front of him. How could he do that to him.
***
It must have been at least an hour before the nurse came into the room and found Billie crying at his father's side. "Billie swwetheart, is everything okay? Maybe you should go home now, you can come back tomorrow, when you feel better," She said, not realizing what had happened. He looked up at her with tears running down his face. The expression he gave her shocked her. It was a look of hate. A mean, hurtful stare.
"Why would I ever come back to this fucking place? He's dead! He died in front of me, and you stupid people didn't come to find me! He died!" Billie screamed. It hurt so bad to watch that, he felt nothing. He was numb inside, the only thing he could feel was the trobbing in his head. The migraine pounding away at what he had left, in a bittersweet pattern. He wanted to scream. The nurse came to him and put a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't realize that he had passed away, but don't worry. At least he won't suffer anymore. He's with God now."
"Don't talk to me about God! God took my Dad away from me!" Billie Joe snapped, pulling his arm away from the nurse.
"Billie, darling, don't be so harsh. Just stay put, I'll call your mother. She needs to come pick you up. I can't send you alone in this state of mind. I can't take the chance of letting you run off."
She left the room. Billie stood up and went to the guitar his father had bought him. He found a black leather case along with it. He set the guitar his father had named Blue into the case and took it and walked out of the room. He left the hospital to find that it was practically dark outside and he had no real place to go. He couldn't go home to his family. He didn't want to be around them when they learned. What was he supposed to do. He was alone. He decided to go to the park, but ended up at Mike's place.
Mike had been his only life line for the last few months. Mike was his only real friend, the only one that cared. The window to Mike's bed room was on the first floor of the house he lived in with his adoptive mother and his sister. Billie through little rocks at the window until it opened.
"B. J., is that you? What the hell are you doing here? It's late, shouldn't you be home?" Mike said, sticking his head out the window.
"Hey Pritchard! Let me in! I can't go home. I have too much shit to think about," Billie said.
"I don't know man, I mean, you know how my mom is. She'll kill me if I let you in through the window."
"So let me in through the door. Just let me in, I need to stay here tonight."
"What do you have with you?"
"It's a guitar. I'll show it to you, if you let me in."
Suddenly in the backround, Billie heard Mike's mom's voice. "Michael Ryan Pritchard, who are you talking to? And don't you dare say nobody, because I hear two voices."
"Uhh, just..." Billie Joe shook his head furiously, as if to say "Don't tell her."
"Just Billie Joe." Mike said. Billie shot him a look of anger.
"Billie Joe? What is that boy doing outside in the cold?" Mike's mother said.
"I don't know, talking to me," Mike answerd.
"Don't just stand there, go let that boy in the house. It's too late for him to be outside alone."
"Alright mom," Mike said and ran from the window. Billie didn't move. Mike's adoptive mother stuck her head out the window.
"Hey you. Go around front and Michael will let you in," She said. Billie went to the front of the house.
Andy started to cough and breath heavily. He was happy to see his son so happy, but something was happening. Billie noticed that something was very wrong.
"Dad, are you okay? Dad, do you want me to get the nurse?" The younge boy asked franticaly as his father's coughing became worse. He set the guitar back up against the wall were he had found it. He ran to his father's side, "Dad, do you want me to get the nurse?"
Andy shook his head in protest. He knew that it was no use to get the nurse. It was over. "Son, I want you to know how much I love you. Tell your mother I'm sorry. The guitar, it's name is Blue, that is what I want you to call it. I'm sorry..." Andy's voice trailed off, "I love you." He said finally. His breathing grew quiet, and then it seemed to stop.
"Dad! DAD! No, come on Dad, say something. Dad! Please," Billie said, shaking at his father furiously." DAD PLEASE!" He cried, as tears started to fill his eyes. He had been the only one in the room when his father died. He pounded his fists into the side of the hospital bed. "DAD! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT LAST? Why!" He said through his sobs. He put his head down next to his father's body and cried. He sobbed uncontrollably. His father had died in front of him, his hero. The one person that had really meant something to him, had left him, and in front of him. How could he do that to him.
***
It must have been at least an hour before the nurse came into the room and found Billie crying at his father's side. "Billie swwetheart, is everything okay? Maybe you should go home now, you can come back tomorrow, when you feel better," She said, not realizing what had happened. He looked up at her with tears running down his face. The expression he gave her shocked her. It was a look of hate. A mean, hurtful stare.
"Why would I ever come back to this fucking place? He's dead! He died in front of me, and you stupid people didn't come to find me! He died!" Billie screamed. It hurt so bad to watch that, he felt nothing. He was numb inside, the only thing he could feel was the trobbing in his head. The migraine pounding away at what he had left, in a bittersweet pattern. He wanted to scream. The nurse came to him and put a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't realize that he had passed away, but don't worry. At least he won't suffer anymore. He's with God now."
"Don't talk to me about God! God took my Dad away from me!" Billie Joe snapped, pulling his arm away from the nurse.
"Billie, darling, don't be so harsh. Just stay put, I'll call your mother. She needs to come pick you up. I can't send you alone in this state of mind. I can't take the chance of letting you run off."
She left the room. Billie stood up and went to the guitar his father had bought him. He found a black leather case along with it. He set the guitar his father had named Blue into the case and took it and walked out of the room. He left the hospital to find that it was practically dark outside and he had no real place to go. He couldn't go home to his family. He didn't want to be around them when they learned. What was he supposed to do. He was alone. He decided to go to the park, but ended up at Mike's place.
Mike had been his only life line for the last few months. Mike was his only real friend, the only one that cared. The window to Mike's bed room was on the first floor of the house he lived in with his adoptive mother and his sister. Billie through little rocks at the window until it opened.
"B. J., is that you? What the hell are you doing here? It's late, shouldn't you be home?" Mike said, sticking his head out the window.
"Hey Pritchard! Let me in! I can't go home. I have too much shit to think about," Billie said.
"I don't know man, I mean, you know how my mom is. She'll kill me if I let you in through the window."
"So let me in through the door. Just let me in, I need to stay here tonight."
"What do you have with you?"
"It's a guitar. I'll show it to you, if you let me in."
Suddenly in the backround, Billie heard Mike's mom's voice. "Michael Ryan Pritchard, who are you talking to? And don't you dare say nobody, because I hear two voices."
"Uhh, just..." Billie Joe shook his head furiously, as if to say "Don't tell her."
"Just Billie Joe." Mike said. Billie shot him a look of anger.
"Billie Joe? What is that boy doing outside in the cold?" Mike's mother said.
"I don't know, talking to me," Mike answerd.
"Don't just stand there, go let that boy in the house. It's too late for him to be outside alone."
"Alright mom," Mike said and ran from the window. Billie didn't move. Mike's adoptive mother stuck her head out the window.
"Hey you. Go around front and Michael will let you in," She said. Billie went to the front of the house.
