Can't run away forever..., chapter 2
Katie swaggered into the room with cuts everywhere which I assumed were from the window she just came through. She was holding a half full bottle of vodka in her right hand and I joint in her left. HOLY FUCK! WHAT DOES SHE THINK SHE'S DOING!!! I thought in panic as she stumbled towards us.
"You guys fucking suck you know that!" she slurred as she successfully covered everyone in spit. Obviously disgusted everyone started leaving the room which started to fill with mumbles leaving just Katie and me in the room.
"You know, you didn't have to show up at my birthday party, pissed as hell and as high as a kite!" I stated through clenched teeth while trying to suppress my anger.
"You guys just needed to know the truth about your crap music!" My eyes started tearing a she said that.
"Is everything ok?" stated a concerned Tiffany.
"Please make sure Katie gets home safely," I said as I left the room.
"Jay, you ok?" asked Pascale.
"I just don't think I'll be talking to Katie in a while," I said, trying to hold back the tears, trying to look brave for my little cousins that were watching.
I walked into my room and shut the door. I turned on the radio to hear 'Move Along' playing again. Maybe I should? Maybe I should move along to get away from it all?
I had wanted to try running away for years but never thought I could make it but now I seemed almost desperate. I tried working out my plan of where I would go, what I would do, how much money I would take and so on. I decided to sleep on it so that I can think about it first.
*Next day*
I woke up feeling energetic for some reason...it felt really weird...but a sit was a Monday I had to go to school.
I entered the school gates feeling happy and confident. As I approached my friends, I heard them suddenly silence when they heard me coming.
"Hi guys, why the silence?"
"No reason. The conversation just died," said Katie. When I looked at her, I remembered what happened the previous day. The word 'bitch' started burning in my mind.
"Dude, we were just thinking......"
"......about the band" interrupted Pascale. I could feel them studying my face.
"Yeah, about the band, anyway, we were thinking that it's best for the band if you weren't in it," stated Katie.
"Do you even know what the fuck you are saying!?!" I said bursting with rage.
"Do you even know what you did yesterday!?!" I continued.
"Yes, but that's not the point. You've been so moody lately it's been getting everyone down and it's just not what we need right now."
What hurt me the most was that they didn't even have the decency to talk to me about it first, I really would've tried to change. You know when you think you feel really alone even though you kind of still have friends? Well, the real lonely feeling is 10x worse because now you really don't have anyone to turn to anymore...at all...
It was when they just walked away from me that I started to panic. This band means everything to me, what am I supposed to do now? Holy shit.... that was when everything went black and all I could remember was hitting the floor.
*3 days later*
I woke up lying on a hospital bed all alone in a silent room. There were various drips around me and all I could hear were the beeps coming from the machines around me. A nurse with black hair and blue streaks walked in with a clipboard and started ticking.
"Where am I?" I asked.
"Oh, good morning Ms. Kenson. You are in the Sandton Clinic," she said with a smile.
"What time is it? How long have I been here? Has anyone come to see me?"
"Ok, ummmm....its 11:38, you've been here 3 days and your mom comes to visit every day, your dad has come twice, your brother once and.....that's all."
"Ok, thanks"
As she walked out of the room my mom came running in.
"Jeanette! I'm so glad you're ok!" she said as she hugged me.
"I missed you too ,mom" I said as she released me.
"I brought you something that I think might cheer you up!" She left the room and then came back holding my precious guitar.
"I missed you so much!" I said as I held my guitar close because now it was my only friend. I started strumming and soon got lost in the music.
"Ok well. I have to go back to work now so I'll see you later!"
"Ok mom!" I said as she walked out of the door.
The rest of the day flew by pretty fast for a hospital. I found out the nurse's name is Becky and that she is actually a trainee nurse. She likes all the same bands as me so we really had a lot in common.
"Becky, what got me in here?" I eventually asked.
"You're here because you had an anxiety attack." As she said that my mouth dropped open. I thought I just fainted or something.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah, just thought I fainted."
"Well, anxiety attacks are caused by severe pressure, depression, anxiety or stress. I know it's not my business but have you had any of those lately?" This made me think.
"Well, my now ex-friends rejected me. Does that count?"
"It can if you panicked about it."
"I didn't panic. I just started to worry a little, that's all. I mean...I was also kicked out of the band I helped start."
"Sorry to hear..." she said as though some one died but to me that's how it really felt. The feeling that no one wants to be friends with you and as you think about it, it silently kills your mental well-being. But I'm going to take a break because I know I need it...desperately.
*Next day*
Seeming as though I was getting better, they decided to take me off the machines but still keep me on the drip. This made things like going to the bathroom a lot easier.
But since I was still in hospital, I got bored really quickly so I started to compose a song called 'Charlie'. It was about what I used to do with my friends. We'd find a trolley in a parking lot, make one of us get in it and then run with the person in it till we couldn't run anymore. On one occasion we went through McDonalds drive thru, which made the cops suspicious.
The other time we went through a pizzeria which got the security guards following us! Since then all trolleys have been put away and the amount of guards have increased. Those were the good old days. Just then Becky walked into the room.
"And how are we doing today?" she asked cheerfully.
"Uh....I'm fine" I replied.
"Hey, how long do I still have to be in here?"
"Just 2 more days"
"Come on!!! How long could this possibly take!" I asked in frustration.
"Chill, you've already been here for 4 days so another 2 won't kill you!" she said as calm as ever.
"How come your so happy today?" I asked.
"You guys fucking suck you know that!" she slurred as she successfully covered everyone in spit. Obviously disgusted everyone started leaving the room which started to fill with mumbles leaving just Katie and me in the room.
"You know, you didn't have to show up at my birthday party, pissed as hell and as high as a kite!" I stated through clenched teeth while trying to suppress my anger.
"You guys just needed to know the truth about your crap music!" My eyes started tearing a she said that.
"Is everything ok?" stated a concerned Tiffany.
"Please make sure Katie gets home safely," I said as I left the room.
"Jay, you ok?" asked Pascale.
"I just don't think I'll be talking to Katie in a while," I said, trying to hold back the tears, trying to look brave for my little cousins that were watching.
I walked into my room and shut the door. I turned on the radio to hear 'Move Along' playing again. Maybe I should? Maybe I should move along to get away from it all?
I had wanted to try running away for years but never thought I could make it but now I seemed almost desperate. I tried working out my plan of where I would go, what I would do, how much money I would take and so on. I decided to sleep on it so that I can think about it first.
*Next day*
I woke up feeling energetic for some reason...it felt really weird...but a sit was a Monday I had to go to school.
I entered the school gates feeling happy and confident. As I approached my friends, I heard them suddenly silence when they heard me coming.
"Hi guys, why the silence?"
"No reason. The conversation just died," said Katie. When I looked at her, I remembered what happened the previous day. The word 'bitch' started burning in my mind.
"Dude, we were just thinking......"
"......about the band" interrupted Pascale. I could feel them studying my face.
"Yeah, about the band, anyway, we were thinking that it's best for the band if you weren't in it," stated Katie.
"Do you even know what the fuck you are saying!?!" I said bursting with rage.
"Do you even know what you did yesterday!?!" I continued.
"Yes, but that's not the point. You've been so moody lately it's been getting everyone down and it's just not what we need right now."
What hurt me the most was that they didn't even have the decency to talk to me about it first, I really would've tried to change. You know when you think you feel really alone even though you kind of still have friends? Well, the real lonely feeling is 10x worse because now you really don't have anyone to turn to anymore...at all...
It was when they just walked away from me that I started to panic. This band means everything to me, what am I supposed to do now? Holy shit.... that was when everything went black and all I could remember was hitting the floor.
*3 days later*
I woke up lying on a hospital bed all alone in a silent room. There were various drips around me and all I could hear were the beeps coming from the machines around me. A nurse with black hair and blue streaks walked in with a clipboard and started ticking.
"Where am I?" I asked.
"Oh, good morning Ms. Kenson. You are in the Sandton Clinic," she said with a smile.
"What time is it? How long have I been here? Has anyone come to see me?"
"Ok, ummmm....its 11:38, you've been here 3 days and your mom comes to visit every day, your dad has come twice, your brother once and.....that's all."
"Ok, thanks"
As she walked out of the room my mom came running in.
"Jeanette! I'm so glad you're ok!" she said as she hugged me.
"I missed you too ,mom" I said as she released me.
"I brought you something that I think might cheer you up!" She left the room and then came back holding my precious guitar.
"I missed you so much!" I said as I held my guitar close because now it was my only friend. I started strumming and soon got lost in the music.
"Ok well. I have to go back to work now so I'll see you later!"
"Ok mom!" I said as she walked out of the door.
The rest of the day flew by pretty fast for a hospital. I found out the nurse's name is Becky and that she is actually a trainee nurse. She likes all the same bands as me so we really had a lot in common.
"Becky, what got me in here?" I eventually asked.
"You're here because you had an anxiety attack." As she said that my mouth dropped open. I thought I just fainted or something.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah, just thought I fainted."
"Well, anxiety attacks are caused by severe pressure, depression, anxiety or stress. I know it's not my business but have you had any of those lately?" This made me think.
"Well, my now ex-friends rejected me. Does that count?"
"It can if you panicked about it."
"I didn't panic. I just started to worry a little, that's all. I mean...I was also kicked out of the band I helped start."
"Sorry to hear..." she said as though some one died but to me that's how it really felt. The feeling that no one wants to be friends with you and as you think about it, it silently kills your mental well-being. But I'm going to take a break because I know I need it...desperately.
*Next day*
Seeming as though I was getting better, they decided to take me off the machines but still keep me on the drip. This made things like going to the bathroom a lot easier.
But since I was still in hospital, I got bored really quickly so I started to compose a song called 'Charlie'. It was about what I used to do with my friends. We'd find a trolley in a parking lot, make one of us get in it and then run with the person in it till we couldn't run anymore. On one occasion we went through McDonalds drive thru, which made the cops suspicious.
The other time we went through a pizzeria which got the security guards following us! Since then all trolleys have been put away and the amount of guards have increased. Those were the good old days. Just then Becky walked into the room.
"And how are we doing today?" she asked cheerfully.
"Uh....I'm fine" I replied.
"Hey, how long do I still have to be in here?"
"Just 2 more days"
"Come on!!! How long could this possibly take!" I asked in frustration.
"Chill, you've already been here for 4 days so another 2 won't kill you!" she said as calm as ever.
"How come your so happy today?" I asked.
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