I Love You, chapter 6

For about a month, Shannen and Billie had not spoken a word to each other which broke Billie's heart. Shannen had been using more and more of the Methamphetamine and was an addict to the meth.

One day Shannen was in the kitchen cooking after she had just taken her regularly dose. She felt klutzy and lightheaded so it wasn't a good idea to cook in her state. Shannen turned on the oven and accidentally poured the oil onto the stove without the pot. The oil sizzled and steamed on the hot surface which triggered the fire alarm to go off.

Billie was up in his room practicing his guitar and soon heard the loud beeping. He immediately jumped up from his bed and ran down the long flight of stairs leading to the kitchen. As he stepped into the kitchen, he saw Shannen just laughing on the floor looking like she was in a dreamland.

"Shit!" Billie yelled running to the stove to turn it off. He rushed around the house and opened all the windows to let the steam out. The alarm was still buzzing but Billie reached up and grabbed it off the wall to make it stop.

After everything was quiet and almost all the smoke had disappeared, Shannen was still laughing as she was sitting in the corner dazed and confused. Billie stormed up to her and picked her up by the arm and began yelling at her.

"What the hell is wrong with you?! You almost set the fucking house on fire!" Billie yelled frustrated.

Shannen smiled at Billie and hugged him. "I'm sorry, can I make it up to you?"

"What?" Billie asked startled by Shannen's sudden change in actions and movements.

Shannen pulled away and began running her hands up and down Billie's chest. She stopped at the top of his shirt and began to undo his shirt buttons. Her dosage of meth she had taken not so long ago was creating strange side effects.

"You heard me... I'll fix it... " Shannen whispered in Billie's ears.

Billie wasn't falling for Shannen's acts. No matter how badly he wanted too, he wasn't going to take advantage of her. He grabbed Shannen's hands that where at his belt and put them at her side.

"Something's wrong with you Shannen... " Billie said.

"I know there is, I'm missing someone... and that's you... " Shannen giggled uncontrollably and lunged for Billie again.

Billie just caught her and just hugged her for a few seconds. "I'm not going to take advantage of you. I know there's something wrong with you and I'm going to find out what it is."

Again, the meth was taking control of Shannen. Right now she was feeling like she needed Billie Joe to make her feel happy again but soon the effects started to take another direction again. It took her a moment to realize where she was and who she was with. She pulled away and glared daggers at Billie Joe.

"Don't fucking touch me ever again!" Shannen yelled.

"Shannen! I was helping you! A few seconds ago you wanted to fuck me!" Billie yelled back.

"Whatever, just... stay away from me," Shannen replied and stormed back up the stairs.

Billie sighed and rubbed his eyes exasperated. He collapsed on the couch and thoughts began to fill his mind... Help her Billie... she needs it... she needs you... But Billie couldn't help think about something else, a different plan. No...stay out of it... it will just make it worse... she has enough pain to deal with right now, she doesn't need anymore... do not interfere...

Billie got frustrated at his thought and stood up from the couch and started smashing everything in sight. He picked up the glass vase that was on the table and threw it across the room so it hit the window. He saw the leftover newspaper and picked it up and started shredding it into tiny pieces in pure fury. He stormed into the kitchen and hit pots, pans, and anything and everything he could find. He desperately opened the wine cellar and whipped out a bottle of vodka and began chugging trying to erase the permanent scar Shannen had left.

***

Shannen opened her eyes to the bright sunlight shining through the room. She had a major migraine and couldn't move her body. Shannen had injected herself with two needles full of Methamphetamine last night. She was lucky she didn't have extreme problems yet for using so much of the drug. Shannen pulled the covers over her and began shivering uncontrollably. She felt so cold and couldn't make it go away. Shannen could feel her body temperature dropping rapidly.

Billie awoke on the ground and remembered how much he drank last night. He rubbed his head and began to get up when he banged his head against the side of the table. He cursed violently and stumbled upstairs to take some Advil. The 34 year old musician reached his bathroom and took out the white bottle and poured three little white tablets into the palm of his hand.

He sat on his bed after he took the Advil and rested his head on his soft, fluffy pillow and just lay there trying to ignore the throbbing pain pounding in his head. After about an hour Billie heard something going on in the room across from his. He sat up and walked slowly to the sound that was coming from the other room.
When he finally reached the door, he immediately knew that it was Shannen that was muttering. He opened the door and peeked inside quietly. There he saw a lump in the bed shivering uncontrollably. Billie just stood there waiting to see if Shannen would acknowledge his presence.

"H... help... I... can't... st... stop... " Shannen muttered quietly with extreme shivering.

"What?" Billie said moving closer to Shannen.

"I... can't... stop... shivering... I'm... so... cold... "

Billie sat on the bed and grabbed her hand that was holding the covers over her body. Her hands felt like ice cubes. The felt like they've been exposed to frostbite in the winter. He jumped a little at the temperature of her hands. He immediately embraced Shannen when she sat up hoping that his warmth would spread to her body.

Billie looked around the room to see what Shannen was doing to herself. At first, he didn't see anything suspicious until his eyes focused on something lying on the bathroom sink. He gently stood up leaving Shannen still shivering. He walked into the bathroom and looked at the long, shiny object reflecting from the light. He picked it up and knew immediately that it was crystal Methamphetamine. He shook his head and walked out with the needle knowing that using the needle again would help Shannen stop her symptoms. He sat down on the bed again and took the shaking women in his arms. He felt her hands and realized that they were even colder then before and that she was shaking more then ever.

Billie began to get nervous and shakily took her arm. He was about to inject her with more of the drug until she stopped shaking. Billie looked at her wide eyed and put the meth on the table knowing that he didn't need it. He could feel that her body temperature was restoring and turning to normal. Billie was so relieved that he pushed her into him and hugged her tighter then he ever had before.

"Thank god your okay... " Billie breathed into Shannen's hair.

The young women wrapped in Billie's arms responded in silence and just rested her head on his shoulder. She was too weak to do anything else and she felt like nothing was left inside her. Just an empty person, with no meaning in life.
Billie kept stroking her hair with his soft hands with his eyes squeezed tightly. Meth? Why did she turn to meth? Was I not supportive enough? Was I not helping her with her past? Was it something I did? I should've helped... I should've done something... I should've been there for her... instead she turned to drugs... stupid Billie... your such an idiot...