Deadbeat Holiday., chapter 5
"Morreh, wake up!" Bam said.
"Merf!" I replied. I was up about an hour ago, and got my "alert" that I'm definitely not pregnant.
"Come on!" he said.
"Fuck off! Let me sleep!" I snapped.
"Dude, what's up?" he asked.
"When you're a girl, you'll understand. Now until then, shut the fuck up and let me fucking sleep!" I whined.
"I'll give you a massage?" he cooed.
"Can I die for a small amount of days, then be well?" I asked stupidly.
"No, you're Hannah...or Rebel friend is coming today," he said.
I sat up and slapped my head.
"Fuck! I forgot! When?" I asked shrilly.
"Um, at night, about 9 P.M." he said.
"Okay, can you bring Tré in here?" I asked.
"Yeah, sure," he said.
Bam left the room and returned with a sleep deprived Tré.
"Yeah?" Tré asked.
"Tré, can you please go to the shops and get me Panadol and a shit load of chocolate?" I whined.
"Why?" He asked.
I shot him a look, and he backed away for a second.
"Oh! Okay! Um, see ya in a minute," he said quickly.
"Massage!" I demanded from Bam.
I think I was asleep for most of it, cos I woke up with a glass of water next to me bed, two Panadol pills, and a few packets of Tim-tams.
"Tré?" I asked.
He got up off the floor and sat on my bed.
"You okay?" he asked.
"Blah," I said.
He rubbed my head and kissed my forehead.
"What's the time?" I asked.
"One o' clock in the afternoon," he said, looking at his watch.
"Eight hours..." I whined.
"Eat something," Bam said.
"No, can't be fucked," I objected.
"What. So I got these Tim-tams for nothing?" Tré said.
"I didn't say you couldn't have any!" I snapped.
"Guys, leave her alone," my mum said.
"Thanks, Mum," I sort of snapped.
"It's alright, Morreh, get some food into you, though," she added.
"Yes, Mum," I said.
"How come you do what she says?" Bam whined.
"Because she knows what it's like!" I snarled.
"Okay..." Bam said as he handed me a Tim-tam.
I got ready at 7:30 P.M., I was wearing my skinny-leg, black jeans and black Ramones shirt, by about 8 P.M. I was ready, because of the amount of eyeliner shit I had.
"Eight o' clock, bitches!" I announced.
"But her plane comes in at nine," Tré protested.
"We can go to the airport, get some food, then meet her!" I said.
"Oh, right," Tré said.
I saw him sigh.
"She won't rape you! She's actually a lot like you. I think you might like her too," I said.
"Ya sure?" he asked.
"Pretty much," I said.
"Okay, let's go!" he said, more enthusiastically now.
The drive wasn't actually all that quiet; Tré kept on asking me questions about Rebel, so I threatened him, and he shut up, for about a minute.
"When you meet her, you can ask her yourself." Was my answer to all of his questions.
Bam was smirking quietly, he was trying so hard not to piss me off, which was a good thing.
While Mike and Billie were egging Tré on.
When we arrived at the airport, Bam opened my door and helped me up.
"Suck up," Tré mumbled.
Bam gave him the finger and continued to walk with me.
"You two stay in the car," I commanded.
"Awe!" they both whined.
"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" I yelled as I walked away.
"No bandage shit for you," I said to Tré. Not meaning that I was going to do bondage with Tré, meaning that Tré wouldn't be using any of it.
"Awe," Tré whined.
"Then don't be a meanie pants!" I snapped.
Bam put his arm around me as if to calm me down.
"I'm fine," I said quietly.
He nodded and hugged me.
"What food do you want?" Tré asked.
"Chocolate with chips," I said.
"Alright, what about you, Bam?" Tré asked.
"Um, just a burger or something," Bam replied.
Tré nodded and walked off to get the food, leaving me and Bam alone.
"Finally," Bam mumbled.
"You not like Tré?" I asked.
"I not like never being alone with you," he said.
"Awe! Is someone trying to get in my pants?" I asked.
"Maybe," Bam said.
I smirked. "Tré would castrate you, you know?" I asked.
"That's a risk I'm willing to take," he said in between placing kisses on my neck.
"Fine," I said.
So there we were, in the middle on the airport terminal, making out.
"Ahem," Tré said. I detected a bit of anger in his voice.
I blushed bright red while Bam grinned stupidly.
"Let's just eat the food," Tré said.
"Okay," I said.
We ate the food in silence with Bam and Tré exchanging looks. I was going to intervene and say nothing happened, but that's kinda bullshit.
"Okay, can we stop with the weird looks, its not like me and Bam were gonna fuck!" I snapped.
Tré looked a bit down. "Sorry, I'm just a bit protective of my daughters," he said.
"Not that that's bad or anything," Bam said.
Tré nodded.
"Look, the plane's coming in!" I announced, changing the subject.
"Oh yeah, come on, let's go to the gate," Tré said.
We walked to the gate, well more like ran to the gate so we didn't miss her.
"Shit, you two go hide!" I said.
"Why?" Bam and Tré asked in unison.
"I didn't tell her that she was being picked up by Green Day and Bam Margera!" I said in a high-pitched voice.
"Just go back to the car," I said.
Tré nodded and walked off. Bam waited for him to go.
"Bam!" I said sternly.
"Just one kiss!" he begged.
"Fine," I said.
Bam gave me a kiss full of passion that made me melt and want more, but I shooed him off before the people started to come off the plane.
I waited for about 10 minutes, and finally, the people started come off of the plane.
I looked around at all of the people, prep, no, old person, no, man, no, little kid, no, little dog...no!
Suddenly I saw a girl a bit shorter and older than me walk off the plane; she had black and blue hair straightened and plenty of black eyeliner on. I poked my head to see properly and ended up hitting somebody's bag...he had reddy brown hair and blue eyes.
Rebel came towards me. "Oh, I see you've met my boyfriend," she said.
I laughed. "Sorry," I said.
"Are you Hannah, or Rebel, by any chance?" I added.
"Why little Morreh, indeed I am," she said with a wink; her boyfriend helped me up, and we went and grabbed a coke at the fucking over-priced airport café.
"So how was the flight over?" I asked while we were walking back to the car with our cokes.
"Cold...do you know how fucking freezing they set the aircon in those things?! Man it got steamy in there," she said, then nudging her boyfriend in the side for wiggling his eyebrows. "Oh, sorry I haven't introduced my boyfriend...Morreh, this is Derek Bloom," she said, stopping for a bit.
"Heyo, Derek Bloom dude, Me is Morreh. Morreh enjoys talking in third person because it pisses people off, is it working on you?" I asked.
"Haha, no, and Hannah Bear told me you played drums...that's great, I play drums too," he said, then getting a pinch.
"Don't call me that in public!" she said, blushing.
I laughed and poked her.
"Haha! Hannah bear! Ooh, Derek dude, I can laugh at you too! You got pinched! HAHA!" I said happily.
"Not you too!" she said, laughing and smiling. Derek grinned.
"He has set himself out to embarrass me as much as possible," she said.
"Bad Derek, dude! Be nice!" I said as I poked him as well.
"She won't give you bondage otherwise," a voice said.
Our heads whipped around to see Bam fucking Margera.
"Ah, Bam mate, how you been?" said Derek, I looked confused, then Rebel took me aside.
"Morreh, I forgot to say that me and Derek met awhile ago, and he's in a band called From First to Last," she whispered.
"Ooh! Schweet!" I knew the name was familiar for some reason, otherwise I was just slow.
"So you two know each other?" I asked.
They nodded.
"She made out with me," Bam said stupidly, motioning to me.
Rebel nudged me. "Score! Bam Margera," she said, laughing. Derek put his arm around Rebel and squeezed her butt. "DEREK!" she yelled and glared at him.
"Somebody got some!" Bam said when we reached the car.
"Uh, there's a surprise kinda thing in the car," I said nervously.
I looked at Rebel and Derek dude and smiled.
"May I introduce you to a band called--" I got cut off by Billie, Mike, and Tré yelling out "ORGASM COOKIES!"
Rebel just fell over and Derek caught her. "WHAT THE FUCK?!" she yelled. Bam sniggered and helped her up.
"Well, I was expecting a worse reaction than this, but whatever," I said.
"Someone fuck me," Tré said.
Rebel stared at him and went bright red...all the Goddamn crushes on Tré never fully left her. "I WILL!" Derek shouted out, pissing himself laughing.
"Yeah, well I won't fuck you," Tré said.
"I'd rather fuck Rebel," he mumbled.
Later on, everyone was at dinner. I noticed Rebel had been really silent and kept to herself all night.
"Dude, what's up? You've been really quiet; I'm worried," I said to her.
"I think I still have feelings for Tré, and one of my mates still likes me," she said, looking down with teary eyes. "I don't want to have to choose," she mumbled.
"Holy fuck...that's like a love...SQUARE!" I said. "I say wait a while, don't make any decisions that you're gonna regret," I added.
"I know, I know...but I don't want to choose," she said, getting up and walking outside.
I got up and followed her outside, excusing both of us, and lowering curiosity.
I hugged her and said, "Don't choose if it's gonna hurt you. Do you want me to make the guys go or something? I don't like it when you're sad," I said.
"No..no, it's fine I just...I just wanna be alone with you, so we can just talk...c'mon, let's go climb a tree," she said, smiling a bit.
"Okay," I said. "Go the trees!" I cheered.
"Let's bitch about guys," I said.
"Guys, get it easy! No periods, or giving birth, or nothing!" I laughed.
"Yeah, and they don't squeeze out babies!" she laughed, Rebel smiled a bit and lay back.
"True that, and they don't get something shoved up them either!" I said smiling.
She laughed and nodded and came closer. "Derek is a horny little fucker he always wants it," she said laughing more.
I laughed. "Lucky, today was the first time I kissed Bam, but he was pretty suggestive before..."
She laughed, "Better watch out, because I've had some pregnancy scares," she pulled something out of her purse it was a bottle of tablets with two inside. "Here these are just in case there is no protection," she said, winking.
I took the pills from her and put them in my pocket.
"I know you're probably wanna forgot about him, but remember how everyone would say that I'm Tré's daughter? Well, that was no bullshit..." I said.
"Oh, fuck, really?" she said, almost falling, but she managed to pull herself up. "Wow, that would be kick ass."
"Yeah, but I got such a fucking shock. Yesterday it was too much for me; I took the bus to nowhere, went to a bar, got kinky shit, met some people, one who kissed me and gave me his number, then went back home. It's gonna be too much too soon..." I trailed off.
She pulled me in for a hug. "Shh, it's okay, I'm here now, I'll help you straighten out any shit you get into." She kissed the top of my head. "I'll be your second mom."
"Awe, thanks, Mum's getting busy and shit, she came home crying once, and she didn't tell me why. Oh well, I have a second mom! YAY!" I cheered and hugged her back.
"I'm glad I can help," she said. "I'm going through some shit like I told you, so I'll give you the best advice I can."
"Schweet, Morreh and Rebel's advice line!" I cheered.
"I feel like throwing something at Billiam from the tree," I said as they became visible.
"Yeah!" I half yelled and whispered.
So we climbed up into the tree and got some gum nuts. I pegged one at Bam and hit his head.
"What the fuck?!" he said.
We sniggered softly and threw another one at Bam.
"OKAY, NOT FUNNY, WHAT THE FUCK?!" he yelled. We just sat silently, trying not to laugh.
I threw one at Tré and Mike; they looked at Bam and he shrugged.
Rebel sniggered and found a few nuts about half the size of a golf ball and managed to hit Billie right between the eyes.
"Score!" I whispered, and gave her a high-five softly so they didn't hear.
Billie was rubbing his head, and Derek was looking happy because he didn't get hit yet.
"Let's get Derek next," she said in a really evil tone; she chucked one, but it rebounded off the back of Derek's head and hit Bam in the balls. We couldn't hold it in, so I yelled, "SCORE DOUBLE POINTS!" We pissed ourselves laughing.
The five guys looked up at us from the ground and looked somewhat pissed; well Bam couldn't, he was on the ground, clutching his balls.
"Bam got OWNED!" I yelled. I did my happy dance in the tree, but fell out.
Rebel fell after me, but we weren't hurt...we were laughing. I stood up and brushed myself off.
We started to dance and chant, "You got owned!" over and over again.
"Shut up!" Bam said.
"Don't tell me to shut up, I'll kick your balls, then they'll feel a lot more worse!" I threatened.
He whimpered a bit, then walked over and hugged me.
"Don't try to suck up either!" I snapped.
Bam looked hurt, and Derek was still rubbing his head, and Rebel walked up to him. "Lose more of those few brain cells left in that head?" she said, laughing. Derek pulled her in for a full on kiss, and I almost vomited.
"Awe, poor Bam, would you like a kiss?" I asked.
He nodded.
"Where?" I asked.
He pointed to his crotch, so I walked over and kissed him on the lips as well.
Derek pulled Rebel up into his arms and started to run off.
"MORREH, SAVE ME, HE'S HORNY!" she yelled, laughing.
"To the Bam mobile!" I proclaimed.
Bam picked me up and ran after them with the three members of Green Day running after us.
"If you fuck my daughter, the shit's gonna hit the fan!" Tré yelled.
I stuck my tongue out at him, then started to kiss Bam again.
"How the fuck do you expect me to run when you do that?!" he demanded.
"What, you don't like it?" I asked.
"I do...but...alright!" He stopped running and began to make out with me on the ground.
Later on that night I heard funny noises in the other room. Oh God, gross, ew...fuck, ew....
"What the fuck...?" I muttered. I woke Bam up and made him come with me into the guest room to see what was up.
I was scared to open the door...that knows what's going on, but...I did anyway.
I walked in after Bam and saw him laugh. Bam was looking at Mike who was looking at Tré who was looking at Billie who had his hands down his pants moaning the name "Adie".
All four of us laughed at the unconscious, yet horney Billie Joe Armstrong wanking on the carpet of my guest room.
"Someone get a camera," I said. Tré got his camera out and took a picture and showed it to us.
We all laughed our heads off.
"This one's going on my bedroom wall!" said Mike, laughing.
"And people call you gay," Tré teased.
"What's going on?" Derek Dude asked.
I motioned to Billie who was still in that position. He laughed and left the room to go and get Rebel.
Rebel came back, half asleep and her top half falling off her...no one realized until I saw this...
"Um, dude, your shirt," I whispered to her.
Her eyes went wide, and she fixed it up before anyone else saw it.
"I just saved you from getting humped by Derek Dude," I laughed.
She leaned closer to me and whispered in my ear, "Just sitting on him makes him horny; it's kinda creepy...well...if i sit on him, anyway," she said, giggling. "Whoa, look at Billie he....ew," she said. I laughed again.
"I was just about to say that. Tré got a picture, and Mike wants it for his wall," I said, grimacing.
I decided to wake up the sleeping wanker.
"BILLIE, YOU FUCK-FACED WANKER!" I yelled.
"WHAT?!" he said immediately waking up. "Morreh...why is my hand in my pants?" he said quickly, taking it out.
"Don't ask me, I didn't put it there. I heard Tré say EW...gross and shit like that, you were moaning 'oooohhhh Adie! oooohhhh Adie!'." I imitated.
"Oh...." he said, blushing like hell, since when does a 34 year old blush! I don't know...I suddenly see horny fucker going for Rebel's boob.
"STOP, DON'T THINK I CAN'T SEE YOU!" I say, pointing to Derek dude.
He blushed as well and turned around.
"Can I kick his ass like in 'on the wagon'?" I asked Rebel.
"Only if you want, but leave his balls in one piece 'cause he wants kids one day," she said, laughing and walked off for a drink.
"SWEET!" I yelled, and then kicked his ass.
"Merf!" I replied. I was up about an hour ago, and got my "alert" that I'm definitely not pregnant.
"Come on!" he said.
"Fuck off! Let me sleep!" I snapped.
"Dude, what's up?" he asked.
"When you're a girl, you'll understand. Now until then, shut the fuck up and let me fucking sleep!" I whined.
"I'll give you a massage?" he cooed.
"Can I die for a small amount of days, then be well?" I asked stupidly.
"No, you're Hannah...or Rebel friend is coming today," he said.
I sat up and slapped my head.
"Fuck! I forgot! When?" I asked shrilly.
"Um, at night, about 9 P.M." he said.
"Okay, can you bring Tré in here?" I asked.
"Yeah, sure," he said.
Bam left the room and returned with a sleep deprived Tré.
"Yeah?" Tré asked.
"Tré, can you please go to the shops and get me Panadol and a shit load of chocolate?" I whined.
"Why?" He asked.
I shot him a look, and he backed away for a second.
"Oh! Okay! Um, see ya in a minute," he said quickly.
"Massage!" I demanded from Bam.
I think I was asleep for most of it, cos I woke up with a glass of water next to me bed, two Panadol pills, and a few packets of Tim-tams.
"Tré?" I asked.
He got up off the floor and sat on my bed.
"You okay?" he asked.
"Blah," I said.
He rubbed my head and kissed my forehead.
"What's the time?" I asked.
"One o' clock in the afternoon," he said, looking at his watch.
"Eight hours..." I whined.
"Eat something," Bam said.
"No, can't be fucked," I objected.
"What. So I got these Tim-tams for nothing?" Tré said.
"I didn't say you couldn't have any!" I snapped.
"Guys, leave her alone," my mum said.
"Thanks, Mum," I sort of snapped.
"It's alright, Morreh, get some food into you, though," she added.
"Yes, Mum," I said.
"How come you do what she says?" Bam whined.
"Because she knows what it's like!" I snarled.
"Okay..." Bam said as he handed me a Tim-tam.
I got ready at 7:30 P.M., I was wearing my skinny-leg, black jeans and black Ramones shirt, by about 8 P.M. I was ready, because of the amount of eyeliner shit I had.
"Eight o' clock, bitches!" I announced.
"But her plane comes in at nine," Tré protested.
"We can go to the airport, get some food, then meet her!" I said.
"Oh, right," Tré said.
I saw him sigh.
"She won't rape you! She's actually a lot like you. I think you might like her too," I said.
"Ya sure?" he asked.
"Pretty much," I said.
"Okay, let's go!" he said, more enthusiastically now.
The drive wasn't actually all that quiet; Tré kept on asking me questions about Rebel, so I threatened him, and he shut up, for about a minute.
"When you meet her, you can ask her yourself." Was my answer to all of his questions.
Bam was smirking quietly, he was trying so hard not to piss me off, which was a good thing.
While Mike and Billie were egging Tré on.
When we arrived at the airport, Bam opened my door and helped me up.
"Suck up," Tré mumbled.
Bam gave him the finger and continued to walk with me.
"You two stay in the car," I commanded.
"Awe!" they both whined.
"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" I yelled as I walked away.
"No bandage shit for you," I said to Tré. Not meaning that I was going to do bondage with Tré, meaning that Tré wouldn't be using any of it.
"Awe," Tré whined.
"Then don't be a meanie pants!" I snapped.
Bam put his arm around me as if to calm me down.
"I'm fine," I said quietly.
He nodded and hugged me.
"What food do you want?" Tré asked.
"Chocolate with chips," I said.
"Alright, what about you, Bam?" Tré asked.
"Um, just a burger or something," Bam replied.
Tré nodded and walked off to get the food, leaving me and Bam alone.
"Finally," Bam mumbled.
"You not like Tré?" I asked.
"I not like never being alone with you," he said.
"Awe! Is someone trying to get in my pants?" I asked.
"Maybe," Bam said.
I smirked. "Tré would castrate you, you know?" I asked.
"That's a risk I'm willing to take," he said in between placing kisses on my neck.
"Fine," I said.
So there we were, in the middle on the airport terminal, making out.
"Ahem," Tré said. I detected a bit of anger in his voice.
I blushed bright red while Bam grinned stupidly.
"Let's just eat the food," Tré said.
"Okay," I said.
We ate the food in silence with Bam and Tré exchanging looks. I was going to intervene and say nothing happened, but that's kinda bullshit.
"Okay, can we stop with the weird looks, its not like me and Bam were gonna fuck!" I snapped.
Tré looked a bit down. "Sorry, I'm just a bit protective of my daughters," he said.
"Not that that's bad or anything," Bam said.
Tré nodded.
"Look, the plane's coming in!" I announced, changing the subject.
"Oh yeah, come on, let's go to the gate," Tré said.
We walked to the gate, well more like ran to the gate so we didn't miss her.
"Shit, you two go hide!" I said.
"Why?" Bam and Tré asked in unison.
"I didn't tell her that she was being picked up by Green Day and Bam Margera!" I said in a high-pitched voice.
"Just go back to the car," I said.
Tré nodded and walked off. Bam waited for him to go.
"Bam!" I said sternly.
"Just one kiss!" he begged.
"Fine," I said.
Bam gave me a kiss full of passion that made me melt and want more, but I shooed him off before the people started to come off the plane.
I waited for about 10 minutes, and finally, the people started come off of the plane.
I looked around at all of the people, prep, no, old person, no, man, no, little kid, no, little dog...no!
Suddenly I saw a girl a bit shorter and older than me walk off the plane; she had black and blue hair straightened and plenty of black eyeliner on. I poked my head to see properly and ended up hitting somebody's bag...he had reddy brown hair and blue eyes.
Rebel came towards me. "Oh, I see you've met my boyfriend," she said.
I laughed. "Sorry," I said.
"Are you Hannah, or Rebel, by any chance?" I added.
"Why little Morreh, indeed I am," she said with a wink; her boyfriend helped me up, and we went and grabbed a coke at the fucking over-priced airport café.
"So how was the flight over?" I asked while we were walking back to the car with our cokes.
"Cold...do you know how fucking freezing they set the aircon in those things?! Man it got steamy in there," she said, then nudging her boyfriend in the side for wiggling his eyebrows. "Oh, sorry I haven't introduced my boyfriend...Morreh, this is Derek Bloom," she said, stopping for a bit.
"Heyo, Derek Bloom dude, Me is Morreh. Morreh enjoys talking in third person because it pisses people off, is it working on you?" I asked.
"Haha, no, and Hannah Bear told me you played drums...that's great, I play drums too," he said, then getting a pinch.
"Don't call me that in public!" she said, blushing.
I laughed and poked her.
"Haha! Hannah bear! Ooh, Derek dude, I can laugh at you too! You got pinched! HAHA!" I said happily.
"Not you too!" she said, laughing and smiling. Derek grinned.
"He has set himself out to embarrass me as much as possible," she said.
"Bad Derek, dude! Be nice!" I said as I poked him as well.
"She won't give you bondage otherwise," a voice said.
Our heads whipped around to see Bam fucking Margera.
"Ah, Bam mate, how you been?" said Derek, I looked confused, then Rebel took me aside.
"Morreh, I forgot to say that me and Derek met awhile ago, and he's in a band called From First to Last," she whispered.
"Ooh! Schweet!" I knew the name was familiar for some reason, otherwise I was just slow.
"So you two know each other?" I asked.
They nodded.
"She made out with me," Bam said stupidly, motioning to me.
Rebel nudged me. "Score! Bam Margera," she said, laughing. Derek put his arm around Rebel and squeezed her butt. "DEREK!" she yelled and glared at him.
"Somebody got some!" Bam said when we reached the car.
"Uh, there's a surprise kinda thing in the car," I said nervously.
I looked at Rebel and Derek dude and smiled.
"May I introduce you to a band called--" I got cut off by Billie, Mike, and Tré yelling out "ORGASM COOKIES!"
Rebel just fell over and Derek caught her. "WHAT THE FUCK?!" she yelled. Bam sniggered and helped her up.
"Well, I was expecting a worse reaction than this, but whatever," I said.
"Someone fuck me," Tré said.
Rebel stared at him and went bright red...all the Goddamn crushes on Tré never fully left her. "I WILL!" Derek shouted out, pissing himself laughing.
"Yeah, well I won't fuck you," Tré said.
"I'd rather fuck Rebel," he mumbled.
Later on, everyone was at dinner. I noticed Rebel had been really silent and kept to herself all night.
"Dude, what's up? You've been really quiet; I'm worried," I said to her.
"I think I still have feelings for Tré, and one of my mates still likes me," she said, looking down with teary eyes. "I don't want to have to choose," she mumbled.
"Holy fuck...that's like a love...SQUARE!" I said. "I say wait a while, don't make any decisions that you're gonna regret," I added.
"I know, I know...but I don't want to choose," she said, getting up and walking outside.
I got up and followed her outside, excusing both of us, and lowering curiosity.
I hugged her and said, "Don't choose if it's gonna hurt you. Do you want me to make the guys go or something? I don't like it when you're sad," I said.
"No..no, it's fine I just...I just wanna be alone with you, so we can just talk...c'mon, let's go climb a tree," she said, smiling a bit.
"Okay," I said. "Go the trees!" I cheered.
"Let's bitch about guys," I said.
"Guys, get it easy! No periods, or giving birth, or nothing!" I laughed.
"Yeah, and they don't squeeze out babies!" she laughed, Rebel smiled a bit and lay back.
"True that, and they don't get something shoved up them either!" I said smiling.
She laughed and nodded and came closer. "Derek is a horny little fucker he always wants it," she said laughing more.
I laughed. "Lucky, today was the first time I kissed Bam, but he was pretty suggestive before..."
She laughed, "Better watch out, because I've had some pregnancy scares," she pulled something out of her purse it was a bottle of tablets with two inside. "Here these are just in case there is no protection," she said, winking.
I took the pills from her and put them in my pocket.
"I know you're probably wanna forgot about him, but remember how everyone would say that I'm Tré's daughter? Well, that was no bullshit..." I said.
"Oh, fuck, really?" she said, almost falling, but she managed to pull herself up. "Wow, that would be kick ass."
"Yeah, but I got such a fucking shock. Yesterday it was too much for me; I took the bus to nowhere, went to a bar, got kinky shit, met some people, one who kissed me and gave me his number, then went back home. It's gonna be too much too soon..." I trailed off.
She pulled me in for a hug. "Shh, it's okay, I'm here now, I'll help you straighten out any shit you get into." She kissed the top of my head. "I'll be your second mom."
"Awe, thanks, Mum's getting busy and shit, she came home crying once, and she didn't tell me why. Oh well, I have a second mom! YAY!" I cheered and hugged her back.
"I'm glad I can help," she said. "I'm going through some shit like I told you, so I'll give you the best advice I can."
"Schweet, Morreh and Rebel's advice line!" I cheered.
"I feel like throwing something at Billiam from the tree," I said as they became visible.
"Yeah!" I half yelled and whispered.
So we climbed up into the tree and got some gum nuts. I pegged one at Bam and hit his head.
"What the fuck?!" he said.
We sniggered softly and threw another one at Bam.
"OKAY, NOT FUNNY, WHAT THE FUCK?!" he yelled. We just sat silently, trying not to laugh.
I threw one at Tré and Mike; they looked at Bam and he shrugged.
Rebel sniggered and found a few nuts about half the size of a golf ball and managed to hit Billie right between the eyes.
"Score!" I whispered, and gave her a high-five softly so they didn't hear.
Billie was rubbing his head, and Derek was looking happy because he didn't get hit yet.
"Let's get Derek next," she said in a really evil tone; she chucked one, but it rebounded off the back of Derek's head and hit Bam in the balls. We couldn't hold it in, so I yelled, "SCORE DOUBLE POINTS!" We pissed ourselves laughing.
The five guys looked up at us from the ground and looked somewhat pissed; well Bam couldn't, he was on the ground, clutching his balls.
"Bam got OWNED!" I yelled. I did my happy dance in the tree, but fell out.
Rebel fell after me, but we weren't hurt...we were laughing. I stood up and brushed myself off.
We started to dance and chant, "You got owned!" over and over again.
"Shut up!" Bam said.
"Don't tell me to shut up, I'll kick your balls, then they'll feel a lot more worse!" I threatened.
He whimpered a bit, then walked over and hugged me.
"Don't try to suck up either!" I snapped.
Bam looked hurt, and Derek was still rubbing his head, and Rebel walked up to him. "Lose more of those few brain cells left in that head?" she said, laughing. Derek pulled her in for a full on kiss, and I almost vomited.
"Awe, poor Bam, would you like a kiss?" I asked.
He nodded.
"Where?" I asked.
He pointed to his crotch, so I walked over and kissed him on the lips as well.
Derek pulled Rebel up into his arms and started to run off.
"MORREH, SAVE ME, HE'S HORNY!" she yelled, laughing.
"To the Bam mobile!" I proclaimed.
Bam picked me up and ran after them with the three members of Green Day running after us.
"If you fuck my daughter, the shit's gonna hit the fan!" Tré yelled.
I stuck my tongue out at him, then started to kiss Bam again.
"How the fuck do you expect me to run when you do that?!" he demanded.
"What, you don't like it?" I asked.
"I do...but...alright!" He stopped running and began to make out with me on the ground.
Later on that night I heard funny noises in the other room. Oh God, gross, ew...fuck, ew....
"What the fuck...?" I muttered. I woke Bam up and made him come with me into the guest room to see what was up.
I was scared to open the door...that knows what's going on, but...I did anyway.
I walked in after Bam and saw him laugh. Bam was looking at Mike who was looking at Tré who was looking at Billie who had his hands down his pants moaning the name "Adie".
All four of us laughed at the unconscious, yet horney Billie Joe Armstrong wanking on the carpet of my guest room.
"Someone get a camera," I said. Tré got his camera out and took a picture and showed it to us.
We all laughed our heads off.
"This one's going on my bedroom wall!" said Mike, laughing.
"And people call you gay," Tré teased.
"What's going on?" Derek Dude asked.
I motioned to Billie who was still in that position. He laughed and left the room to go and get Rebel.
Rebel came back, half asleep and her top half falling off her...no one realized until I saw this...
"Um, dude, your shirt," I whispered to her.
Her eyes went wide, and she fixed it up before anyone else saw it.
"I just saved you from getting humped by Derek Dude," I laughed.
She leaned closer to me and whispered in my ear, "Just sitting on him makes him horny; it's kinda creepy...well...if i sit on him, anyway," she said, giggling. "Whoa, look at Billie he....ew," she said. I laughed again.
"I was just about to say that. Tré got a picture, and Mike wants it for his wall," I said, grimacing.
I decided to wake up the sleeping wanker.
"BILLIE, YOU FUCK-FACED WANKER!" I yelled.
"WHAT?!" he said immediately waking up. "Morreh...why is my hand in my pants?" he said quickly, taking it out.
"Don't ask me, I didn't put it there. I heard Tré say EW...gross and shit like that, you were moaning 'oooohhhh Adie! oooohhhh Adie!'." I imitated.
"Oh...." he said, blushing like hell, since when does a 34 year old blush! I don't know...I suddenly see horny fucker going for Rebel's boob.
"STOP, DON'T THINK I CAN'T SEE YOU!" I say, pointing to Derek dude.
He blushed as well and turned around.
"Can I kick his ass like in 'on the wagon'?" I asked Rebel.
"Only if you want, but leave his balls in one piece 'cause he wants kids one day," she said, laughing and walked off for a drink.
"SWEET!" I yelled, and then kicked his ass.
