Untitled, chapter 4
"OK sure what's up?" I was trying not to show but on the inside I was crapping myself, all I kept thinking was "he's going to break up with me."
I led the way into the living room; we sat beside each other his arm around me.
"We've been going out for a while and... "
Here it comes, its going to be something like "I think we should take things slower" or "I think we'd be better of as just friends" something cliché like that, I thought it would just be easier to drown him out and then the blow won't be so hard.
"... so will you?" Billie Joe asked warily.
"Will I what?"
"Will you move in with me?"
"Oh my god Billie! Of course I will! - when?"
"As soon as you've told the guys you can come if you want. You realise though that everything you just unpacked you'll have to repack."
"Oh crap pants! Let's get started then,"
"What now?"
"Yeah now it could take months otherwise, have you seen the amount of crap I've got?"
"K fair do's race ya there!"
He ended up beating me up the stairs and had me on the bed in a matter of minutes - as you can guess we never got much packing done.
The next day I told the guys that I was moving in with Billie they seemed cool with it and helped me pack, Ben put all of my crap into the van we were planning on using for touring, and we went round to Billie's. I was in and unpacked within a few hours this time with the help of Billie Joe and Ben.
***
The next few months went great the album came out and we went to the VMA's together where The Deadly Sins and Green Day were performing, it was a great night, and we won 2 awards one for Best Rock Video and the other for Best New Group in a Video. Not long after I found out I was pregnant with his baby. We were ecstatic and couldn't wait to become parents. I phoned my mum to tell her the good news and let's just say she wasn't best pleased, I was pregnant at such a young age and with a rock star to her that's what made it worse. I put all that behind me and concentrated on what was important, Billie Joe, the baby and my work.
Everything was fine until one day when I had real bad pains in my stomach; I went to the doctor who told me that everything was fine and not to worry. I went to my bed that night knowing that something wasn't right, and I woke up lying in blood. Billie rushed me to the hospital and they said that their was nothing that they could do and I would be best to abort it. We were distraught but knew that we had to do what was best for our unborn child and aborted it.
Tanya was first round to give her condolences. From then one we decided to look to the future, and after Christmas 1997, we started trying for another baby. Things were never the same between us, we argued over the smallest things and he was never in he was always out partying with the guys. I called a meeting with the rest of The Deadly Sins and explained that mine and Billie's relationship was on the rocks, and that it would probably be better if we moved back to Scotland and got him to transfer our management over to Polydor. Even if it was just for a little while just 'til things cooled down, although we both knew it was over.
He agreed that it was probably for the best and arranged for everything to be done for us for when we moved back to Scotland.
A month later and I was back in Leith sharing a flat with Tanya and although I missed Billie Joe like hell at times I taught myself to remember that when we were together, for the last part of our relationship at least all we did was fight. I knew that we both needed time to come to terms with our loss and to find ourselves again.
A few days after moving into the flat a started to feel really weird and would wake up around the same time every night between 2 and 3AM and be sick, this happened for a while before I finally plucked up the courage to go and take a pregnancy test, it came back positive I was expecting Billie's baby again.
I led the way into the living room; we sat beside each other his arm around me.
"We've been going out for a while and... "
Here it comes, its going to be something like "I think we should take things slower" or "I think we'd be better of as just friends" something cliché like that, I thought it would just be easier to drown him out and then the blow won't be so hard.
"... so will you?" Billie Joe asked warily.
"Will I what?"
"Will you move in with me?"
"Oh my god Billie! Of course I will! - when?"
"As soon as you've told the guys you can come if you want. You realise though that everything you just unpacked you'll have to repack."
"Oh crap pants! Let's get started then,"
"What now?"
"Yeah now it could take months otherwise, have you seen the amount of crap I've got?"
"K fair do's race ya there!"
He ended up beating me up the stairs and had me on the bed in a matter of minutes - as you can guess we never got much packing done.
The next day I told the guys that I was moving in with Billie they seemed cool with it and helped me pack, Ben put all of my crap into the van we were planning on using for touring, and we went round to Billie's. I was in and unpacked within a few hours this time with the help of Billie Joe and Ben.
***
The next few months went great the album came out and we went to the VMA's together where The Deadly Sins and Green Day were performing, it was a great night, and we won 2 awards one for Best Rock Video and the other for Best New Group in a Video. Not long after I found out I was pregnant with his baby. We were ecstatic and couldn't wait to become parents. I phoned my mum to tell her the good news and let's just say she wasn't best pleased, I was pregnant at such a young age and with a rock star to her that's what made it worse. I put all that behind me and concentrated on what was important, Billie Joe, the baby and my work.
Everything was fine until one day when I had real bad pains in my stomach; I went to the doctor who told me that everything was fine and not to worry. I went to my bed that night knowing that something wasn't right, and I woke up lying in blood. Billie rushed me to the hospital and they said that their was nothing that they could do and I would be best to abort it. We were distraught but knew that we had to do what was best for our unborn child and aborted it.
Tanya was first round to give her condolences. From then one we decided to look to the future, and after Christmas 1997, we started trying for another baby. Things were never the same between us, we argued over the smallest things and he was never in he was always out partying with the guys. I called a meeting with the rest of The Deadly Sins and explained that mine and Billie's relationship was on the rocks, and that it would probably be better if we moved back to Scotland and got him to transfer our management over to Polydor. Even if it was just for a little while just 'til things cooled down, although we both knew it was over.
He agreed that it was probably for the best and arranged for everything to be done for us for when we moved back to Scotland.
A month later and I was back in Leith sharing a flat with Tanya and although I missed Billie Joe like hell at times I taught myself to remember that when we were together, for the last part of our relationship at least all we did was fight. I knew that we both needed time to come to terms with our loss and to find ourselves again.
A few days after moving into the flat a started to feel really weird and would wake up around the same time every night between 2 and 3AM and be sick, this happened for a while before I finally plucked up the courage to go and take a pregnancy test, it came back positive I was expecting Billie's baby again.
