Butterflies and Steel, chapter 21
I came time for Tre to go back into the studio to record quicker than I expected. And to make things considerably worse, they were going to New York. I had no idea why, but I didn't question it either. This is what they needed to do.
I had spent the night with Tre so I could see him in the morning when he left. He woke me up at about 5 AM, smiling just as happily as normal people would at 2 PM. It always amazed me how he got up so early with no trouble at all, but I didn't question it.
He laid down beside me, smelling extremely good from having just taken a shower. "Morning baby," he said as I tried to pry my eyes open. I snuggled against him and wanted nothing more than to burrow back into the bed.
"Ugh," I answered, seeing the 5 AM on the clock. I hated mornings, especially early mornings, but I knew that I had to drag my ass out of bed. Tre just seemed to find it amusing, which was a little irritating and motivating at the same time.
"You don't have to get up," he replied softly. I managed to lift my head and look at him through half lidded eyes.
"I want to, just give me a minute," I said. I rubbed my face and attempted to sit up. "Shit. Why do you have to leave so early?"
"It's the flight to New York," he answered with a shrug, sitting up and pulling me to him. "I love you," he whispered in my ear, biting the lobe. I laughed and pushed him playfully off of me.
"It's 5 AM," I gestured, trying to sound amused. "How can you be like that at 5 AM?"
"Because," he said, grabbing me again, "I have a sexy woman in my bed that I won't get to see for a while." I laughed, pulling him into a kiss.
"I love you too," I replied.
***
I was sitting at The Shop, already pining. It was sad how attached I had become to him, and how much I wanted his company all the time. Of course Seth couldn't help but harp on this fact with extreme amusement. I just glared at him.
"Don't give me that look Care Bear," Seth said, throwing his arm around me. "You and I both know that if you get too lonely, you can come over to my place--" I laughed and pushed him away from me.
"You need a girlfriend," I pointed out as a customer came it. I felt a little better when I started tattooing, because it helped me zone out and focus on one thing. The more I thought about it, the easier it was to deal with the fact that I wouldn't get to see Tre for a while. I just had to go back doing the things that I had been doing before. Tattooing and writing--
Writing made me think of Joey, and how I hadn't spent much time with him lately. I decided that I would stop by Billie's after work and see if Joey wanted to get something to eat, just me and him. I missed the kid like crazy, and I wondered if he had written anything new lately.
Work ended up flying by because we had a pretty busy day. I'd zone out and do the best possible work I could, concentrating with a vengeance. Soon I had found that it was five o'clock, and I made the drive to see Joey. He was outside, sitting on the trampoline.
"Hey Joey!" I greeted, hoisting myself on the side. Being short proved making this a difficult task that Joey seemed to enjoy greatly. He never offered to help; he just sat in the middle of the trampoline, writing in his notebook. "I'm glad you found that funny," I mused.
"It was very funny," he agreed. He shut his little notebook, and I was delighted to see the Queen sticker that I had given him firmly affixed to the front--perfectly straight.
"Nice," I smiled, running my hand over it. "So, have you written anything new?"
"A little," he said. He flipped through some pages and showed me some lyrics, and we spent the better part of an hour outside, reading over them and trying to see if either of us could add more. I couldn't wait to see what he was going to do later in life, but I guessed that it would have something to do with music. And from what I understood it was something that ran in the family.
Adrienne walked outside a little later, probably seeing my car in the driveway. "When did you get here?" she asked.
"About an hour ago," I replied. "Mind if I take him to get something to eat."
"Go ahead," Adrienne said. A look passed over her face, and it was something that strongly resembled pity. I felt al those emotions come back that had stayed away so long. Absentmindedly my hand went to my stomach where a scar was from the wreck that had rendered me unable to have children. A wistful look came onto my face as a sudden wave of depression hit me.
"Carrie?" Joey asked, putting his small hand on my arm. I blinked away tears that wanted to come up and looked down at him with a sad smile.
"Come on," I said, hopping off of the trampoline, "let's go."
***
"Surprise?" Darryl asked curiously. She shifted the phone to the other ear. She had been on the phone with Mike for twenty minutes, all the while him torturing her with news of a surprise.
"Yes," Mike said nonchalantly. He knew that the anticipation would kill her.
"What kind?"
"Guess."
"I can't guess!" Darryl whined. "Just tell me, please... "
"It wouldn't be a surprise if I did that," he teased.
"You are aggravating," Darryl purred. Mike grinned on the other end.
"I like it when you're aggravated," Mike admitted. "And plus I'm bored."
"Well, when do I get this surprise?"
"Whenever you choose to take it," he said. Darryl was never good with cryptic answers. "I have a phone number for you to call. You'll see what it is when you do."
"Okay," Darryl said slowly, completely confused. Mike gave her the number and told her that he had to go. "Alright, alright. Tell everyone I said hi, and I talk to you later."
"Okay," Mike said. "See you soon." Darryl sighed and looked down at the number, contemplating when to call it. She really wanted to know what it was for. He had told her specifically to ask for Ryan, and she had a suspicious feeling that she knew what the surprise was.
There was a knock on the door that seemed urgent, so she got up and answered it quickly. As soon as she did, Carrie rushed in with a paper in her hand and tears streaming down her face. Darryl tried to ask her what was wrong, but Carrie only thrust the paper into Darryl's hand.
"I want you to do something for me," Carrie said, sounding almost defiantly upset. "I want you to sing this song, and make it the best damn song you'll ever perform."
Darryl didn't question this, but looked down at the song helplessly. It was extremely old by the date--October 20, 1997. The title of the song was Butterflies and Steel, and the lyrics left Darryl speechless. Carrie had told her a long time ago about her inability to have children, and she had also mentioned writing a song about. Of course Darryl had expressed interest, but Carrie had told her that no one would ever see that song except her.
She was looking at it now, feeling every emotion that leaked out from in between the lines of the lyrics. She looked at Carrie, who had stopped crying and was looking expectantly at her. "Are you sure?" Darryl asked. She made Carrie sit down.
"I need this," Carrie said, her voice wavering. "I-I need you to do it. If you don't, I'll never be able to let it go."
Darryl nodded, understanding. She would sing the song for Carrie, and she would make sure she did it complete justice. Darryl set the song reverently down on the coffee table and pulled Carrie into a hug. "I'll do it," Darryl promised. "And it will be the best damn song I'll ever perform."
***
Darryl fidgeted with the number, contemplating whether or not she wanted to call today or not. She knew Mike was probably having a good laugh over this, knowing that she was impatient and yet sometimes a little cautious. Finally, she picked up the phone and dialed.
"Blindside Records*," a woman answered, almost making Darryl yelp in excitement.
"I need to speak to Ryan, please," Darryl stammered out, thinking about how stupid she probably sounded.
"Name?"
"Darryl Richardson."
"One moment please," the woman said, almost like she had been expecting her to call. A few seconds later a male voice answered.
"Darryl," Ryan greeted, "Mike's told me a lot about you."
"Oh really?"
"Yes," Ryan agreed. "He said you were quite the musician. And better yet, he said you aren't signed to a label."
"I--no."
"Well, why don't you come down to the studio with your band and a demo, and let's see how good you are. Mike said you were an excellent bassist, and coming from him that's a high compliment."
Darryl chatted with him a few more minutes before hanging up, an appointment for a label required. She loved and hated Mike at the same time. She loved him for giving her a direct contact, but she hated him for glorifying her. She had no idea how to feel, so she picked up the phone to call the drummer and guitarist that played for her to tell them the news.
***
"I miss you already," Carrie said, talking on the phone to Tre.
"I know," he said, "I miss you too. Hope you're finding ways to keep yourself busy."
"Yeah," Carrie said, letting out a heavy sigh.
"You sound upset," he replied, frowning. "I hope it's not because--"
"No," Carrie said, cutting off his assumption. "It's not because you're gone. Not that I'm not sad because you're gone, but... "
"You ramble when you don't want to talk about things," Tre mused lightly. Carrie smiled.
"It works for the most part," she responded. "You know that song that was on the back of the paper I gave you my number on when you first asked me out?"
"Yes," Tre said, suddenly understanding. She had let him read that song, and he knew the full significance of it.
"Well, I gave it to Darryl."
"I thought you weren't ever going to let anyone read it?"
"I needed to," Carrie explained. "I was with Joey earlier, and, I dunno... that kind of depression hits me out of no where. I need some kind of closure on that so I can deal with it."
"I understand," Tre said, feeling bad that he wasn't there. "I got to visit Ramona."
"How is she?" Carrie asked with a large smile.
"Really good," Tre answered happily. "She really likes you." Carrie was surprised at this.
"Does she?" Carrie asked, feeling touched that she had actually achieved some level of friendship with Ramona.
"Yeah," Tre replied contentedly. "And I'm glad. Wouldn't want my two favorite ladies not to get along." He paused and put his had over the phone, and Carrie heard some muffled voices in the background. "Baby, I've got to go. We'll have to save the phone sex for tomorrow."
Carrie giggled and rolled her eyes. "Oh, okay. Well, maybe you can put it on speakerphone so Billie and Mike can get a show." Tre laughed in return.
"Sounds like a plan," Tre said. "I love you."
"I love you too. Bye"
Carrie let out a heavy sigh and leaned back on her couch. She felt better that she had given Darryl her song, and it was only a matter of time before she put music to it. Carrie knew that it would be a knock out. She trusted no one better to get it right than Darryl.
Sighing, Carrie went to bed. She missed Tre even more now that she had just talked about him, but she knew that she would see him soon enough. He was supposed to be in New York for two months before they came back to California, and she had a little plan working itself around in her mind.
[A/N: *I made up the name of the record company, so if there is a Blindside Records...oops.]
I had spent the night with Tre so I could see him in the morning when he left. He woke me up at about 5 AM, smiling just as happily as normal people would at 2 PM. It always amazed me how he got up so early with no trouble at all, but I didn't question it.
He laid down beside me, smelling extremely good from having just taken a shower. "Morning baby," he said as I tried to pry my eyes open. I snuggled against him and wanted nothing more than to burrow back into the bed.
"Ugh," I answered, seeing the 5 AM on the clock. I hated mornings, especially early mornings, but I knew that I had to drag my ass out of bed. Tre just seemed to find it amusing, which was a little irritating and motivating at the same time.
"You don't have to get up," he replied softly. I managed to lift my head and look at him through half lidded eyes.
"I want to, just give me a minute," I said. I rubbed my face and attempted to sit up. "Shit. Why do you have to leave so early?"
"It's the flight to New York," he answered with a shrug, sitting up and pulling me to him. "I love you," he whispered in my ear, biting the lobe. I laughed and pushed him playfully off of me.
"It's 5 AM," I gestured, trying to sound amused. "How can you be like that at 5 AM?"
"Because," he said, grabbing me again, "I have a sexy woman in my bed that I won't get to see for a while." I laughed, pulling him into a kiss.
"I love you too," I replied.
***
I was sitting at The Shop, already pining. It was sad how attached I had become to him, and how much I wanted his company all the time. Of course Seth couldn't help but harp on this fact with extreme amusement. I just glared at him.
"Don't give me that look Care Bear," Seth said, throwing his arm around me. "You and I both know that if you get too lonely, you can come over to my place--" I laughed and pushed him away from me.
"You need a girlfriend," I pointed out as a customer came it. I felt a little better when I started tattooing, because it helped me zone out and focus on one thing. The more I thought about it, the easier it was to deal with the fact that I wouldn't get to see Tre for a while. I just had to go back doing the things that I had been doing before. Tattooing and writing--
Writing made me think of Joey, and how I hadn't spent much time with him lately. I decided that I would stop by Billie's after work and see if Joey wanted to get something to eat, just me and him. I missed the kid like crazy, and I wondered if he had written anything new lately.
Work ended up flying by because we had a pretty busy day. I'd zone out and do the best possible work I could, concentrating with a vengeance. Soon I had found that it was five o'clock, and I made the drive to see Joey. He was outside, sitting on the trampoline.
"Hey Joey!" I greeted, hoisting myself on the side. Being short proved making this a difficult task that Joey seemed to enjoy greatly. He never offered to help; he just sat in the middle of the trampoline, writing in his notebook. "I'm glad you found that funny," I mused.
"It was very funny," he agreed. He shut his little notebook, and I was delighted to see the Queen sticker that I had given him firmly affixed to the front--perfectly straight.
"Nice," I smiled, running my hand over it. "So, have you written anything new?"
"A little," he said. He flipped through some pages and showed me some lyrics, and we spent the better part of an hour outside, reading over them and trying to see if either of us could add more. I couldn't wait to see what he was going to do later in life, but I guessed that it would have something to do with music. And from what I understood it was something that ran in the family.
Adrienne walked outside a little later, probably seeing my car in the driveway. "When did you get here?" she asked.
"About an hour ago," I replied. "Mind if I take him to get something to eat."
"Go ahead," Adrienne said. A look passed over her face, and it was something that strongly resembled pity. I felt al those emotions come back that had stayed away so long. Absentmindedly my hand went to my stomach where a scar was from the wreck that had rendered me unable to have children. A wistful look came onto my face as a sudden wave of depression hit me.
"Carrie?" Joey asked, putting his small hand on my arm. I blinked away tears that wanted to come up and looked down at him with a sad smile.
"Come on," I said, hopping off of the trampoline, "let's go."
***
"Surprise?" Darryl asked curiously. She shifted the phone to the other ear. She had been on the phone with Mike for twenty minutes, all the while him torturing her with news of a surprise.
"Yes," Mike said nonchalantly. He knew that the anticipation would kill her.
"What kind?"
"Guess."
"I can't guess!" Darryl whined. "Just tell me, please... "
"It wouldn't be a surprise if I did that," he teased.
"You are aggravating," Darryl purred. Mike grinned on the other end.
"I like it when you're aggravated," Mike admitted. "And plus I'm bored."
"Well, when do I get this surprise?"
"Whenever you choose to take it," he said. Darryl was never good with cryptic answers. "I have a phone number for you to call. You'll see what it is when you do."
"Okay," Darryl said slowly, completely confused. Mike gave her the number and told her that he had to go. "Alright, alright. Tell everyone I said hi, and I talk to you later."
"Okay," Mike said. "See you soon." Darryl sighed and looked down at the number, contemplating when to call it. She really wanted to know what it was for. He had told her specifically to ask for Ryan, and she had a suspicious feeling that she knew what the surprise was.
There was a knock on the door that seemed urgent, so she got up and answered it quickly. As soon as she did, Carrie rushed in with a paper in her hand and tears streaming down her face. Darryl tried to ask her what was wrong, but Carrie only thrust the paper into Darryl's hand.
"I want you to do something for me," Carrie said, sounding almost defiantly upset. "I want you to sing this song, and make it the best damn song you'll ever perform."
Darryl didn't question this, but looked down at the song helplessly. It was extremely old by the date--October 20, 1997. The title of the song was Butterflies and Steel, and the lyrics left Darryl speechless. Carrie had told her a long time ago about her inability to have children, and she had also mentioned writing a song about. Of course Darryl had expressed interest, but Carrie had told her that no one would ever see that song except her.
She was looking at it now, feeling every emotion that leaked out from in between the lines of the lyrics. She looked at Carrie, who had stopped crying and was looking expectantly at her. "Are you sure?" Darryl asked. She made Carrie sit down.
"I need this," Carrie said, her voice wavering. "I-I need you to do it. If you don't, I'll never be able to let it go."
Darryl nodded, understanding. She would sing the song for Carrie, and she would make sure she did it complete justice. Darryl set the song reverently down on the coffee table and pulled Carrie into a hug. "I'll do it," Darryl promised. "And it will be the best damn song I'll ever perform."
***
Darryl fidgeted with the number, contemplating whether or not she wanted to call today or not. She knew Mike was probably having a good laugh over this, knowing that she was impatient and yet sometimes a little cautious. Finally, she picked up the phone and dialed.
"Blindside Records*," a woman answered, almost making Darryl yelp in excitement.
"I need to speak to Ryan, please," Darryl stammered out, thinking about how stupid she probably sounded.
"Name?"
"Darryl Richardson."
"One moment please," the woman said, almost like she had been expecting her to call. A few seconds later a male voice answered.
"Darryl," Ryan greeted, "Mike's told me a lot about you."
"Oh really?"
"Yes," Ryan agreed. "He said you were quite the musician. And better yet, he said you aren't signed to a label."
"I--no."
"Well, why don't you come down to the studio with your band and a demo, and let's see how good you are. Mike said you were an excellent bassist, and coming from him that's a high compliment."
Darryl chatted with him a few more minutes before hanging up, an appointment for a label required. She loved and hated Mike at the same time. She loved him for giving her a direct contact, but she hated him for glorifying her. She had no idea how to feel, so she picked up the phone to call the drummer and guitarist that played for her to tell them the news.
***
"I miss you already," Carrie said, talking on the phone to Tre.
"I know," he said, "I miss you too. Hope you're finding ways to keep yourself busy."
"Yeah," Carrie said, letting out a heavy sigh.
"You sound upset," he replied, frowning. "I hope it's not because--"
"No," Carrie said, cutting off his assumption. "It's not because you're gone. Not that I'm not sad because you're gone, but... "
"You ramble when you don't want to talk about things," Tre mused lightly. Carrie smiled.
"It works for the most part," she responded. "You know that song that was on the back of the paper I gave you my number on when you first asked me out?"
"Yes," Tre said, suddenly understanding. She had let him read that song, and he knew the full significance of it.
"Well, I gave it to Darryl."
"I thought you weren't ever going to let anyone read it?"
"I needed to," Carrie explained. "I was with Joey earlier, and, I dunno... that kind of depression hits me out of no where. I need some kind of closure on that so I can deal with it."
"I understand," Tre said, feeling bad that he wasn't there. "I got to visit Ramona."
"How is she?" Carrie asked with a large smile.
"Really good," Tre answered happily. "She really likes you." Carrie was surprised at this.
"Does she?" Carrie asked, feeling touched that she had actually achieved some level of friendship with Ramona.
"Yeah," Tre replied contentedly. "And I'm glad. Wouldn't want my two favorite ladies not to get along." He paused and put his had over the phone, and Carrie heard some muffled voices in the background. "Baby, I've got to go. We'll have to save the phone sex for tomorrow."
Carrie giggled and rolled her eyes. "Oh, okay. Well, maybe you can put it on speakerphone so Billie and Mike can get a show." Tre laughed in return.
"Sounds like a plan," Tre said. "I love you."
"I love you too. Bye"
Carrie let out a heavy sigh and leaned back on her couch. She felt better that she had given Darryl her song, and it was only a matter of time before she put music to it. Carrie knew that it would be a knock out. She trusted no one better to get it right than Darryl.
Sighing, Carrie went to bed. She missed Tre even more now that she had just talked about him, but she knew that she would see him soon enough. He was supposed to be in New York for two months before they came back to California, and she had a little plan working itself around in her mind.
[A/N: *I made up the name of the record company, so if there is a Blindside Records...oops.]
