Trouble Comes In Two's (Sequel To "I've Done Twins"), chapter 1

"I can't believe you're throwing your life away," Tre sighed, running his finger around his beer mug.

Mike smiled. "I don't believe that's what I'm doing."

"Are you kidding me?!" Jason scoffed, "Leah's like...cool, and all... but marriage! MARRIAGE! That's the ultimate thing for a guy. You may as well cut your dick off now."

Billie choked, laughing, on his beer. "I'm sure Jason would cut it for you."

Jason smirked. "Tre does it cheaper then I do."

Tre frowned. "I never was good at circumcision."

"And you TRIED?" Gasped Freesey, who remained quiet most of the night.

"Well, when Ramona was born...I had to cut her umbilical cord...and well...now she's a girl."

They all laughed at Tre's (rather stupid) joke.

"I'll tell Mona that one," Jason warned.

Tre poked his tongue out.

"I suppose we should propose a toast?" Ronnie Blake suggested, nodding towards Mike.

"Yes, we should," Billie said, raising his glass. "To the soon dickless Mike!"

"TO DICKLESS MIKE!" Tre hollered, clonking his glass with everyone else.

Mike laughed and his cheeks turned pink. "Gee, thanks guys."

Leah was positioned in the back of her car. Her eyes were covered by a blind fold and she was sitting between Jess and Hayley.

"For the last fucking time, WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE GOING?!"

Courtney, who was driving, rolled her eyes. "Like we're gonna tell you. Now, shut up, wouldja?"

"I feel like I'm being held hostage," she said, a frown forming on her face. "Jessie, were am I going?"

Jess rolled her eyes too. "I'm not going to risk ruining the surprise."

"I'm getting married tomorrow! I demand to know where I'm going!"

"SHUT UP, LEAH!" Courtney shouted.

"BITE ME! NO, BETTER YET, TELL ME WHERE THE HELL I AM!"

"God," Hayley gasped, bringing out a roll of duct tape. "I hoped it didn't have to come to this..."

She pulled a piece out and slapped it across Leah's mouth. The muffled 'mmm!' came out.

Mike knew that his wife to be had practically been kidnapped. He arranged for Ryan to stay with Leah's mother, he also made sure that Leah was dragged into a car, whilst blind folded, totally unaware of where she was going. He grinned at his plan.

Mike, you are a true genius.

Reality finally sunk in. He was getting married, again, tomorrow. All that planning and frustration (and a fight or two) will have paid off.

All those nights they spent wide awake arguing over a reception location - over.
The days they spent running around town finding bits and bobs they needed -gone.

"MIIIIKE!" Tre slurred. "Sh-top thinking...you know that givesh you wrinklesh..."

"On your...on your...p-peeenis!" Billie cracked up laughing at himself.

Gasping for air, he managed to say, "I'm sorry...I'm sorry."

"OH MY GOD! BILLIE! YOUR SHOELACE!" Jason screamed, before crashing tackling Billie to the floor and taking off his shoe.

Mike, only slightly tipsy, shook his head with a big grin. "You guys are so weird."

"Mikey, Mikey my baby, honey, rabbit, golf club..." Tre started, leaning with most of his body weight pressed on Mike. "Let dance! Dance, right now! GRIND YOUR HIPS WITH ME, MIKEY!"

Mike playfully shoved Tre away has he started provocatively dancing with him. "Now is not the time NOR the place, Tre," Mike laughed. "Save it for later."

"But... IT'S BECAUSE I'M UGLY ISN'T IT?!"

There was something about that man and screaming...really loudly...at the wrong time.

"No, Tre," Jason said, coming up off Billie with a shoe in his mouth. "You're beautiful."

"So...you'll dance with me?" Tre said, with the biggest puppy pout.

"HELL YES!" Jason screamed, coping some moves he saw in a Beyonce Knowles video clip.

"Oh, God..." Mike laughed, watching them. Freesey helped Billie up off the floor, with one of his 'Make Me Taller Shoes' missing.

"Was I raped?" he asked, stunned.

"I think so," Mike grinned.

"I don't think my innocence is intact..." Billie gasped, in genuine horror.

"You're thirty-four...and still a virgin?" Ronnie laughed.

"YOU SHUT UP!" Billie sobbed, turning and crying on Mike's shoulder. "Make him STOP! Make him STOP!"

"Surrounded by drunks," Freesey giggled, taking another chug of his beer.
Mike smiled. "It's good, isn't it...?"

Little did Mike know...Good didn't last forever.

'Good' was a periodical thing. And it wasn't there to stay. This happy, fuzzy, lovey feeling in his stomach wasn't going to be there forever.

His happy time was running out...
And he didn't even know it...