They never knew., chapter 1
The early morning fog curled around her ankles. A far off siren blew, like a distant call. She looked up; her delicate face pale and stunning ice blue eyes framed in ringlets of black eyeliner. Her bondage pants trailed against the cold ground, bringing sticks and pieces of grass along with her. She was, of course, waiting for him. Lachland. "Lach" to his friends, as he had said when he first met her. She called him Lachland anyway. She got off the swing and walked more into the park, feeling tears threaten.
To a passerby, she would have seemed pissed off beyond all measure. But inside, she was a jumbled mess. The rumor had been circulating for weeks now, and she had casually brushed it off until now. Now she had to confront it, to face the "demon", so to speak. Was Lachlan cheating on her? It had seemed an impossible thing when they first started out. He was the first person she ever loved. Just thinking about his own black-ringed eyes made her give the faintest of a smile. She thought back to the first time they were alone together.
The park was empty at such a late hour. She distinctly remembered his Sweet Revenge perfume, and the comforting feeling it gave her. An awkward silence fell over them. She closed her eyes, her oh-so-pretty eyes, and leaned against the back of the park bench. When she opened them, instead if her view of the high school, his face was right in front of hers. She didn't jump, or scream, just fluttered her eyelashes a bit, as if expecting him to be there all along. "Cindy," he had breathed, his sweet-sour breath against her face. He was so close, so close, and she wanted, no, needed to kiss him. He closed the space between them. Fireworks erupted in her mind, and just when she thought it was over, he came up for breath and dived back down. By now, they were on their backs. He was exploring her mouth with his tongue, and all she could see was an image of flowers, flowers just the peculiar shade of her eyes. But just like that, it was over.
She knew it had happened just a little too fast, this being their only real date so far. But it felt so right, and she had no regrets. So far. But after that single date, she had never seen the fireworks or flowers again, and they took it a little slower. Then, the dates themselves tapered off, and instead of the 4 or 5 dates or "alone time" a week it became 1 or 2 times a week when he would have a rushed conversation with her, just a few meaningless words. She had called him just last night, and told him in a firm voice that she wanted to see him. Tomorrow. Just before school. He had somehow interpreted the firmness as desperation in her voice and agreed. Her school bell was going to ring in about a half hour, not nearly enough time for the conversation she wanted to have. And he still wasn't there. Without really thinking, she started running toward the high school track fields, where she was hoping to find him.
The fog was a little better here, and running through the crowd of disapproving people, she became frantic. She was sure that something had happened to him. A car crash, death, she didn't care what it was, she just wanted to see him. Then she did. He was surrounded. Slouched against the ground, his shag in his eyes, flirtatious smile plastered on his pale face. She realized with amazing clarity that he was wearing the shirt she gave him, a Ramones shirt that cost her thirty bucks. The smile that he had used so many times on her was not directed to her this time. He was smiling up at Neve Johnson, an extraordinary beautiful/ditzy girl in the 10th grade. Not her. She stormed up to him, this time the stony anger on her face real. "Hi, Cindy!" Neve shrieked. Cindy closed her mouth, the profanity she was about to say cut short. Lachlan shot up, trying to keep his cool.
"Hey babe, how's it going?"
"You know perfectly fucking well, babe," she said scornfully, relishing the look of hurt on his face. Maybe, just maybe, she could make him feel just what she felt.
"No, I don't," he said defiantly, still trying to keep his cool.
"Sure ya do. While you're off with her doing God knows what, Im waiting for you like a little lost puppy." She was staring quite steadily at Neve.
"I wasn't with her!!" he said looking horrified. "I love you!" he said. Neve looked confused.
"I love you's not enough," she said, all sympathy disappearing.
"I'm lost for words," he said hesitatingly, wondering if this was the right thing to say. He knew it wasn't. Even as he said it.
"Goodbye, dear. I've waited long enough for you." She spun around, not before delivering Neve a good one to the side of the face. "Bitch," she said with absolutely no expression, and then and only then, Lachland saw her real hurt hidden behind the mask of indifference. His last glimpse of her was the tears that now flew freely from her cheeks, somehow making her more beautiful. Wondering if this was the last chance to go fix this, he started in her direction.
To a passerby, she would have seemed pissed off beyond all measure. But inside, she was a jumbled mess. The rumor had been circulating for weeks now, and she had casually brushed it off until now. Now she had to confront it, to face the "demon", so to speak. Was Lachlan cheating on her? It had seemed an impossible thing when they first started out. He was the first person she ever loved. Just thinking about his own black-ringed eyes made her give the faintest of a smile. She thought back to the first time they were alone together.
The park was empty at such a late hour. She distinctly remembered his Sweet Revenge perfume, and the comforting feeling it gave her. An awkward silence fell over them. She closed her eyes, her oh-so-pretty eyes, and leaned against the back of the park bench. When she opened them, instead if her view of the high school, his face was right in front of hers. She didn't jump, or scream, just fluttered her eyelashes a bit, as if expecting him to be there all along. "Cindy," he had breathed, his sweet-sour breath against her face. He was so close, so close, and she wanted, no, needed to kiss him. He closed the space between them. Fireworks erupted in her mind, and just when she thought it was over, he came up for breath and dived back down. By now, they were on their backs. He was exploring her mouth with his tongue, and all she could see was an image of flowers, flowers just the peculiar shade of her eyes. But just like that, it was over.
She knew it had happened just a little too fast, this being their only real date so far. But it felt so right, and she had no regrets. So far. But after that single date, she had never seen the fireworks or flowers again, and they took it a little slower. Then, the dates themselves tapered off, and instead of the 4 or 5 dates or "alone time" a week it became 1 or 2 times a week when he would have a rushed conversation with her, just a few meaningless words. She had called him just last night, and told him in a firm voice that she wanted to see him. Tomorrow. Just before school. He had somehow interpreted the firmness as desperation in her voice and agreed. Her school bell was going to ring in about a half hour, not nearly enough time for the conversation she wanted to have. And he still wasn't there. Without really thinking, she started running toward the high school track fields, where she was hoping to find him.
The fog was a little better here, and running through the crowd of disapproving people, she became frantic. She was sure that something had happened to him. A car crash, death, she didn't care what it was, she just wanted to see him. Then she did. He was surrounded. Slouched against the ground, his shag in his eyes, flirtatious smile plastered on his pale face. She realized with amazing clarity that he was wearing the shirt she gave him, a Ramones shirt that cost her thirty bucks. The smile that he had used so many times on her was not directed to her this time. He was smiling up at Neve Johnson, an extraordinary beautiful/ditzy girl in the 10th grade. Not her. She stormed up to him, this time the stony anger on her face real. "Hi, Cindy!" Neve shrieked. Cindy closed her mouth, the profanity she was about to say cut short. Lachlan shot up, trying to keep his cool.
"Hey babe, how's it going?"
"You know perfectly fucking well, babe," she said scornfully, relishing the look of hurt on his face. Maybe, just maybe, she could make him feel just what she felt.
"No, I don't," he said defiantly, still trying to keep his cool.
"Sure ya do. While you're off with her doing God knows what, Im waiting for you like a little lost puppy." She was staring quite steadily at Neve.
"I wasn't with her!!" he said looking horrified. "I love you!" he said. Neve looked confused.
"I love you's not enough," she said, all sympathy disappearing.
"I'm lost for words," he said hesitatingly, wondering if this was the right thing to say. He knew it wasn't. Even as he said it.
"Goodbye, dear. I've waited long enough for you." She spun around, not before delivering Neve a good one to the side of the face. "Bitch," she said with absolutely no expression, and then and only then, Lachland saw her real hurt hidden behind the mask of indifference. His last glimpse of her was the tears that now flew freely from her cheeks, somehow making her more beautiful. Wondering if this was the last chance to go fix this, he started in her direction.
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