The Truth Behind The Death Of Saint Jimmy, chapter 1
St. Jimmy. A guy you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley at night. Jimmy was born with the face of an angel along with the personality of Satan. A guy with two sides, evil being the only side he portrays and the angel side? Well, we are all meant to find the goodness inside everyone, but it's a bit hard with Jimmy. He's a twenty one year old with such a powerful reputation.
Jimmy is feared by everyone, but loved all the same. In the punk rock community of East Bay, he is known by everyone. Small children and the elderly fear him, teenagers admire and wish to challenge him and adults can't go anywhere without being nervous and over protected.
Jimmy is dangerous, you wouldn't want to come close to the wrong side of him. And when you're near him and you're presence is able to be sensed, you'll have got to tread carefully around him because he can snap at any time. He's like a hungry lion, ready to pounce and kill and use every trick in the book to get what he wants. And trust me, he'll succeed.
But, not any more...
Jimmy is no more. A man once so powerful and feared has gone. A man with so much for him; could do anything with his life. He disappeared literally at the speed of a bullet leaving a loaded revolver screaming suicide. But a blessing too many people and a disaster to few, happened three years ago, Jimmy died a year ago.
His life hadn't even started and it was ended. Suicide. Such a cruel thing, harms so many but Jimmy...? Like everyone else, we thought he'd last forever. But I guess that isn't possible now, he took his own life. He was found on the bay with a loaded revolver aimed at his right temple, blood running down the side of his face and a suicide note rammed in the back pocket of his black skin tight jeans.
It seems pretty much like suicide to the cops and residents of the community that feared even the silhouette of a St. Jimmy look alike, it's pretty obvious that Jimmy had planned and had committed suicide that very night on the bay.
But I, Whatsername know better...
I truly hate Jimmy. He's everything I'm not. He's good looking. He's got someone to love that loves him back. He's grown up with a stable family, all I know of what Jimmy has told me is that his mom was a bitch and his dad was a pope, and being the youngest of six kids, he was the centre of attention in his house because of his age. He's got millions of friends, or contacts as Jimmy calls them. He's known, okay, he isn't known for a good thing, but at least his name is around East Bay and he's recognised.
As a child I was dumped in foster care. I never got fostered, I just shifted from care home to care home and each birthday and Christmas I would get a card from my mom but no present. I just sat around the homes in my room, the brightly coloured walls covered in posters and the furniture all scratched and battered from my moods that could come on almost as quickly as Jimmy's.
It's not only the walls and the furniture that I hit and punch in my moods. Sometimes my wrists would be bleeding with pain and hatred for everyone and anyone in this world that has forsaken me to be forgotten, the minute I leave they've forgotten me and don't give me a seconds thought.
Hence the name Whatsername.
I'm just a faded memory, blurred and pieces are missing to the puzzle which will never be completed. I'm a forgotten soul and I hate every minute of my life.
But then I met Jimmy. He was the only friend I knew. I met him when I was thirteen, and I stayed at that care home until I was able to leave.
Jimmy took me under his wing and I was used for his secret missions, and some serious stuff that he would be framed for but had loads of alibis, he didn't pay me, I was just happy to be included instead of being the reject of the school, and being the reject of the care home and actually have some thing else to do other than sitting around listening to depressing music, playing depressing songs my guitar, looking in the mirror at my pale white complexion and jet black naturally straight hair and deeply cold grey eyes and hating every bit about me, writing depressing songs or literally wrist slitting.
But Jimmy changed that, he made me feel special, he made me feel special, like I had a cause in life. He had control over me and he knew it. I let him boss me around. Just because of feeling special and the fact that he made me feel peculiar around him, it was more than being wanted and having a reason. It was more, something I had never felt before meeting Jimmy, but I have never had some one feel that way about me.
I love him and that's another reason for me hating Jimmy.
But he doesn't love me.
He doesn't feel the same about me.
Jimmy is a womaniser, and his latest girlfriend is Rebel, a popular, a gorgeous blonde with an in your face attitude. She adores Jimmy, and he supposedly loves her too, but he's got a funny way of showing it. Whenever she isn't around, he flirts with other women, and Rebel, who became one of my friends through Jimmy, would ask me if I knew that Jimmy had been seeing other women or flirting at the very most.
And I would lie for Jimmy. That's how much I loved him.
But he wouldn't really care if I lied for him, in fact he'd probably prefer it if I didn't. He's a scheming bastard, the very worst. Because before he went to see Rebel that night he died, he was with me less than an hour before.
Me and Jimmy were at the old seven/eleven at around 12pm and we were just sitting around smoking joints and drinking red bull with the Operation Ivy CD playing in the background. Jimmy's phone rang and he looked at who was calling and then let it carry on ringing.
"Rebel. Fucking bitch." Jimmy cursed and his phone stopped ringing.
"She's too pissing paranoid." His phone started ringing again and he threw it across the room with almost as much anger as I used to trash my rooms at the many care homes. His phone smashed against the wall and Jimmy just stared at it.
"She's just worried about you, with your reputation and you showing loads of guys up with all the crap you do some much that they want to fucking kill you, not forgetting the point that women throw themselves at you and you can't resist women." I told him smiling.
"Worried is paranoid. And I'm not going to change just for her, she can go and fucking fuck herself if she expects me to." Jimmy stubbed out his joint, tossed it a side and got a cancer stick out of his trouser pocket and lit that one up.
"I think she just expects you to give her a bit of dignity, respect, you know that she'd do anything for you, she loves you that much" I said to him and sighed, took another drag of my joint.
"She isn't the one who loves me the most." Jimmy told me and I let my hand with the joint in dropped down.
"Who loves you more than Rebel? She worships the ground you walk on," I said to him, and he just looked at me like he was pointing out the obvious.
"What? Me? No, seriously, I...no offence but... "
"I've known for ages about it. It's pretty obvious. You do everything that I want you to do, and only for me. And you lie to Rebel for me," Jimmy said.
"I... me... I... No... Just... Friends," I said and then Jimmy pinned me down on the old tattered sofa we were sitting on, gave me a long passionate kiss on the lips and stubbed out my joint on the floor along with his cigarette. He pulled away and then smiled at me.
"Well, if you don't want it, you won't get it. But if you do...come and get it," Jimmy said, and we started kissing again...
Jimmy pulled on his pants, lit a fag and then started walking out of the 7/11 as I was doing up my belt.
"Well see ya," Jimmy said.
"What do you mean see ya?" I asked him as I walked behind him quickly. "You can't just say see ya after what we just did."
"See ya means, bye, in case you don't know that. And I can because I just did." Jimmy told me and carried on walking.
"Well where are you going?" I asked him and he stopped and turned to face me and then kissed my cheek.
"Rebel's. Thanks for filling in the time for me. It can get boring waiting to see the girl you love," Jimmy said and then walked off and I just stared at him. I was meant to be his friend. One thing he told me that he would never use his mates. But I was just his bit of fluff. He's going to pay for this once and for all.
I started following Jimmy To Rebel's house. I watched him be let into her house and then I crouched down near the bushes and waited...
"Just get lost Jimmy!" Rebel started screaming and then she threw Jimmy's converse at him and it hit him in face.
"What was I to you? Your fucking bitch!" Jimmy shouted and then started putting his converse.
"A great memory. Someone to love. Some one to care for. But not any more. BECAUSE YOU'VE GONE AND LET SOME HOOKER GIVE YOU A FRIGGING LOVE BITE!"
Damn, I'd forgotten that.
"You've got a funny way of showing me that you love me, I know about you and Vinnie. Your deals, I know you didn't pay him with cash; you're the filthy hooker. And the person I just slept with was better than you, and I don't even need to pay her, she wasn't cheap, she literally threw herself at me. If her mate was there, it'll have been buy one get one free. I believe you two have met."
"WHAT'S HER NAME?" Rebel screamed and Jimmy dropped his other shoe and looked up at Rebel slowly and full of hate for me.
"She... has that fucking whore called and told you? I'm going to kill her. I really am," Jimmy hissed and Rebel slapped Jimmy across the face.
He ignored the slap and carried on fastening his shoes.
"IT WAS WHATSERNAME? I knew I couldn't trust you; it's typical male all over. SCREWING YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S FRIEND! I didn't know it was Whatsername until now. But thanks for being honest. Now you're dumped," Rebel said and then started storming back inside with tears staining her face.
"YOU'RE JUST A PAIR OF FUCKING TITS! YOU MEANT NOTHING TO ME!" Jimmy screamed and then stormed off.
I followed behind him.
Jimmy went down to his estate and opened his car door ands got a sheet of paper out and wrote something on it in a rush and got something out of his glove compartment and placed it in the pocket of his leather jacket. He then carried on walking.
Jimmy arrived at the bay. It was dark. I was crouching behind the bushes and I watched Jimmy as he knelt down and wrote something on a scrap of paper and then threw the pen into the bay and rammed the note into his back pocket of his jeans. Jimmy turned around to face me in the bushes and then smiled.
"Whatsername, why are you hiding? There's no need to hide, it's so sweet how you followed me. Come on, I need to talk to you," Jimmy said and I started walking to him.
When I went up to him he grabbed me by the neck of my t-shirt and hit me.
"You blood sucking whore. You've spoilt my life. You've spoilt Rebel's life. And you've spoilt your own." Jimmy hissed in my ear as my nose started bleeding.
"No, you're the one who's done that. It was all you. It's your fault. If you weren't such the hated person you were today, then nothing wouldn't have happened. But Rebel knows that you are a cheating, lying, unbelievable and a waste of sermon, I'm not surprised she's broken up with you."
Suddenly Jimmy pulled a gun out of his pocket and then pointed it at me.
"I hate you Whatsername. I helped you. I cared for you. And I'm going to end you," Jimmy said and placed his finger on the trigger, ready to shoot.
"Jimmy, no... don't. I thank you for all that, but... don't." I said slowly.
"Too late," Jimmy said and started to try to shoot again. I quickly turned Jimmy's hand around so the gun was facing him.
"Best say your goodbyes now Jimmy. Because it's going to be a long time until we see each other." I hissed cruelly at him and he tried to get my hands off his arm.
"No, you better say your last goodbyes. And there's something about me that no one knows, but if you let go of the gun and then I'll tell you," Jimmy replied with evil in his voice.
"Like I'm going to fall for that. It isn't going to work this time Jimmy," I said and started to pull the trigger, I was clever. My prints wouldn't be on the gun because Jimmy's finger was on the gun below mine. One more reason towards suicide.
"I love you Whatsername." These were the last words Jimmy said.
It was too late. The bullet entered the right hand side of Jimmy's face and penetrated through his brain, leaving the left side of his head.
I was the last person to see Jimmy, the police assumed that my finger prints on his clothes was from our moments of pleasure between us.
My shoe prints down at the bay, I told them I'd been down there before I met Jimmy at the 7/11.
I've been clever, I made sure I wouldn't get caught. Everything was resting on this web of tangled lies that holds Jimmy's life and mine.
The note was a suicide note. I never got told what was in it, that's police business.
That's the truth of Jimmy's death.
It wasn't suicide.
I killed him.
His life was in my hands.
But not anymore.
The police asked for my clothes for them to view and they never told me anything else but they just saved the clothes for the court case. Rebel has been ignoring me since Jimmy's death, but it isn't really a big loss.
It was the day of the court case, two months after the incident on the bay. The police had found some new evidence to prove that Jimmy's death wasn't possibly suicide. They had asked me what had happened on the night, and I just said that we had sex down at the 7/11 and then Jimmy went and I stayed at the 7/11.
The police seemed fooled by that, and happy enough to believe my little yarn of a tale.
But at the court, they had new evidence. Evidence on me. There was blood on my top, blood dating to about the same time as Jimmy's death was meant to have happened.
I then pleaded guilty.
"You fucking bitch!" Rebel screamed at me and slapped me across the face. She'll be my only visitor for a while.
"You killed Jimmy. The man I love. The man who loved me, and still does. The man you loved enough to kill. I hope you rot in your cell, and they send you somewhere else other than hell. Because hell is too good for you."
"Rebel, when will you learn? Jimmy's last words weren't 'I love Rebel' or anything like that. He doesn't care less for you, why do you think he was with me?" I asked her.
"He does. And what the hell was his last words." Rebel asked me as I stood up, ready to be taken back to my cell.
"I love you Whatsername." I said and Rebel screamed as I was taken through the doors protecting me from Rebel's age.
"You're lying! He loves me!" she screamed.
I shook my head and smiled at her as I saw her for the last time...
So that is the truth, Jimmy didn't commit suicide, he was murdered. By me, Whatsername. Don't believe the hype about what happened on that night on the bay, because it isn't true.
Jimmy is feared by everyone, but loved all the same. In the punk rock community of East Bay, he is known by everyone. Small children and the elderly fear him, teenagers admire and wish to challenge him and adults can't go anywhere without being nervous and over protected.
Jimmy is dangerous, you wouldn't want to come close to the wrong side of him. And when you're near him and you're presence is able to be sensed, you'll have got to tread carefully around him because he can snap at any time. He's like a hungry lion, ready to pounce and kill and use every trick in the book to get what he wants. And trust me, he'll succeed.
But, not any more...
Jimmy is no more. A man once so powerful and feared has gone. A man with so much for him; could do anything with his life. He disappeared literally at the speed of a bullet leaving a loaded revolver screaming suicide. But a blessing too many people and a disaster to few, happened three years ago, Jimmy died a year ago.
His life hadn't even started and it was ended. Suicide. Such a cruel thing, harms so many but Jimmy...? Like everyone else, we thought he'd last forever. But I guess that isn't possible now, he took his own life. He was found on the bay with a loaded revolver aimed at his right temple, blood running down the side of his face and a suicide note rammed in the back pocket of his black skin tight jeans.
It seems pretty much like suicide to the cops and residents of the community that feared even the silhouette of a St. Jimmy look alike, it's pretty obvious that Jimmy had planned and had committed suicide that very night on the bay.
But I, Whatsername know better...
I truly hate Jimmy. He's everything I'm not. He's good looking. He's got someone to love that loves him back. He's grown up with a stable family, all I know of what Jimmy has told me is that his mom was a bitch and his dad was a pope, and being the youngest of six kids, he was the centre of attention in his house because of his age. He's got millions of friends, or contacts as Jimmy calls them. He's known, okay, he isn't known for a good thing, but at least his name is around East Bay and he's recognised.
As a child I was dumped in foster care. I never got fostered, I just shifted from care home to care home and each birthday and Christmas I would get a card from my mom but no present. I just sat around the homes in my room, the brightly coloured walls covered in posters and the furniture all scratched and battered from my moods that could come on almost as quickly as Jimmy's.
It's not only the walls and the furniture that I hit and punch in my moods. Sometimes my wrists would be bleeding with pain and hatred for everyone and anyone in this world that has forsaken me to be forgotten, the minute I leave they've forgotten me and don't give me a seconds thought.
Hence the name Whatsername.
I'm just a faded memory, blurred and pieces are missing to the puzzle which will never be completed. I'm a forgotten soul and I hate every minute of my life.
But then I met Jimmy. He was the only friend I knew. I met him when I was thirteen, and I stayed at that care home until I was able to leave.
Jimmy took me under his wing and I was used for his secret missions, and some serious stuff that he would be framed for but had loads of alibis, he didn't pay me, I was just happy to be included instead of being the reject of the school, and being the reject of the care home and actually have some thing else to do other than sitting around listening to depressing music, playing depressing songs my guitar, looking in the mirror at my pale white complexion and jet black naturally straight hair and deeply cold grey eyes and hating every bit about me, writing depressing songs or literally wrist slitting.
But Jimmy changed that, he made me feel special, he made me feel special, like I had a cause in life. He had control over me and he knew it. I let him boss me around. Just because of feeling special and the fact that he made me feel peculiar around him, it was more than being wanted and having a reason. It was more, something I had never felt before meeting Jimmy, but I have never had some one feel that way about me.
I love him and that's another reason for me hating Jimmy.
But he doesn't love me.
He doesn't feel the same about me.
Jimmy is a womaniser, and his latest girlfriend is Rebel, a popular, a gorgeous blonde with an in your face attitude. She adores Jimmy, and he supposedly loves her too, but he's got a funny way of showing it. Whenever she isn't around, he flirts with other women, and Rebel, who became one of my friends through Jimmy, would ask me if I knew that Jimmy had been seeing other women or flirting at the very most.
And I would lie for Jimmy. That's how much I loved him.
But he wouldn't really care if I lied for him, in fact he'd probably prefer it if I didn't. He's a scheming bastard, the very worst. Because before he went to see Rebel that night he died, he was with me less than an hour before.
Me and Jimmy were at the old seven/eleven at around 12pm and we were just sitting around smoking joints and drinking red bull with the Operation Ivy CD playing in the background. Jimmy's phone rang and he looked at who was calling and then let it carry on ringing.
"Rebel. Fucking bitch." Jimmy cursed and his phone stopped ringing.
"She's too pissing paranoid." His phone started ringing again and he threw it across the room with almost as much anger as I used to trash my rooms at the many care homes. His phone smashed against the wall and Jimmy just stared at it.
"She's just worried about you, with your reputation and you showing loads of guys up with all the crap you do some much that they want to fucking kill you, not forgetting the point that women throw themselves at you and you can't resist women." I told him smiling.
"Worried is paranoid. And I'm not going to change just for her, she can go and fucking fuck herself if she expects me to." Jimmy stubbed out his joint, tossed it a side and got a cancer stick out of his trouser pocket and lit that one up.
"I think she just expects you to give her a bit of dignity, respect, you know that she'd do anything for you, she loves you that much" I said to him and sighed, took another drag of my joint.
"She isn't the one who loves me the most." Jimmy told me and I let my hand with the joint in dropped down.
"Who loves you more than Rebel? She worships the ground you walk on," I said to him, and he just looked at me like he was pointing out the obvious.
"What? Me? No, seriously, I...no offence but... "
"I've known for ages about it. It's pretty obvious. You do everything that I want you to do, and only for me. And you lie to Rebel for me," Jimmy said.
"I... me... I... No... Just... Friends," I said and then Jimmy pinned me down on the old tattered sofa we were sitting on, gave me a long passionate kiss on the lips and stubbed out my joint on the floor along with his cigarette. He pulled away and then smiled at me.
"Well, if you don't want it, you won't get it. But if you do...come and get it," Jimmy said, and we started kissing again...
Jimmy pulled on his pants, lit a fag and then started walking out of the 7/11 as I was doing up my belt.
"Well see ya," Jimmy said.
"What do you mean see ya?" I asked him as I walked behind him quickly. "You can't just say see ya after what we just did."
"See ya means, bye, in case you don't know that. And I can because I just did." Jimmy told me and carried on walking.
"Well where are you going?" I asked him and he stopped and turned to face me and then kissed my cheek.
"Rebel's. Thanks for filling in the time for me. It can get boring waiting to see the girl you love," Jimmy said and then walked off and I just stared at him. I was meant to be his friend. One thing he told me that he would never use his mates. But I was just his bit of fluff. He's going to pay for this once and for all.
I started following Jimmy To Rebel's house. I watched him be let into her house and then I crouched down near the bushes and waited...
"Just get lost Jimmy!" Rebel started screaming and then she threw Jimmy's converse at him and it hit him in face.
"What was I to you? Your fucking bitch!" Jimmy shouted and then started putting his converse.
"A great memory. Someone to love. Some one to care for. But not any more. BECAUSE YOU'VE GONE AND LET SOME HOOKER GIVE YOU A FRIGGING LOVE BITE!"
Damn, I'd forgotten that.
"You've got a funny way of showing me that you love me, I know about you and Vinnie. Your deals, I know you didn't pay him with cash; you're the filthy hooker. And the person I just slept with was better than you, and I don't even need to pay her, she wasn't cheap, she literally threw herself at me. If her mate was there, it'll have been buy one get one free. I believe you two have met."
"WHAT'S HER NAME?" Rebel screamed and Jimmy dropped his other shoe and looked up at Rebel slowly and full of hate for me.
"She... has that fucking whore called and told you? I'm going to kill her. I really am," Jimmy hissed and Rebel slapped Jimmy across the face.
He ignored the slap and carried on fastening his shoes.
"IT WAS WHATSERNAME? I knew I couldn't trust you; it's typical male all over. SCREWING YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S FRIEND! I didn't know it was Whatsername until now. But thanks for being honest. Now you're dumped," Rebel said and then started storming back inside with tears staining her face.
"YOU'RE JUST A PAIR OF FUCKING TITS! YOU MEANT NOTHING TO ME!" Jimmy screamed and then stormed off.
I followed behind him.
Jimmy went down to his estate and opened his car door ands got a sheet of paper out and wrote something on it in a rush and got something out of his glove compartment and placed it in the pocket of his leather jacket. He then carried on walking.
Jimmy arrived at the bay. It was dark. I was crouching behind the bushes and I watched Jimmy as he knelt down and wrote something on a scrap of paper and then threw the pen into the bay and rammed the note into his back pocket of his jeans. Jimmy turned around to face me in the bushes and then smiled.
"Whatsername, why are you hiding? There's no need to hide, it's so sweet how you followed me. Come on, I need to talk to you," Jimmy said and I started walking to him.
When I went up to him he grabbed me by the neck of my t-shirt and hit me.
"You blood sucking whore. You've spoilt my life. You've spoilt Rebel's life. And you've spoilt your own." Jimmy hissed in my ear as my nose started bleeding.
"No, you're the one who's done that. It was all you. It's your fault. If you weren't such the hated person you were today, then nothing wouldn't have happened. But Rebel knows that you are a cheating, lying, unbelievable and a waste of sermon, I'm not surprised she's broken up with you."
Suddenly Jimmy pulled a gun out of his pocket and then pointed it at me.
"I hate you Whatsername. I helped you. I cared for you. And I'm going to end you," Jimmy said and placed his finger on the trigger, ready to shoot.
"Jimmy, no... don't. I thank you for all that, but... don't." I said slowly.
"Too late," Jimmy said and started to try to shoot again. I quickly turned Jimmy's hand around so the gun was facing him.
"Best say your goodbyes now Jimmy. Because it's going to be a long time until we see each other." I hissed cruelly at him and he tried to get my hands off his arm.
"No, you better say your last goodbyes. And there's something about me that no one knows, but if you let go of the gun and then I'll tell you," Jimmy replied with evil in his voice.
"Like I'm going to fall for that. It isn't going to work this time Jimmy," I said and started to pull the trigger, I was clever. My prints wouldn't be on the gun because Jimmy's finger was on the gun below mine. One more reason towards suicide.
"I love you Whatsername." These were the last words Jimmy said.
It was too late. The bullet entered the right hand side of Jimmy's face and penetrated through his brain, leaving the left side of his head.
I was the last person to see Jimmy, the police assumed that my finger prints on his clothes was from our moments of pleasure between us.
My shoe prints down at the bay, I told them I'd been down there before I met Jimmy at the 7/11.
I've been clever, I made sure I wouldn't get caught. Everything was resting on this web of tangled lies that holds Jimmy's life and mine.
The note was a suicide note. I never got told what was in it, that's police business.
That's the truth of Jimmy's death.
It wasn't suicide.
I killed him.
His life was in my hands.
But not anymore.
The police asked for my clothes for them to view and they never told me anything else but they just saved the clothes for the court case. Rebel has been ignoring me since Jimmy's death, but it isn't really a big loss.
It was the day of the court case, two months after the incident on the bay. The police had found some new evidence to prove that Jimmy's death wasn't possibly suicide. They had asked me what had happened on the night, and I just said that we had sex down at the 7/11 and then Jimmy went and I stayed at the 7/11.
The police seemed fooled by that, and happy enough to believe my little yarn of a tale.
But at the court, they had new evidence. Evidence on me. There was blood on my top, blood dating to about the same time as Jimmy's death was meant to have happened.
I then pleaded guilty.
"You fucking bitch!" Rebel screamed at me and slapped me across the face. She'll be my only visitor for a while.
"You killed Jimmy. The man I love. The man who loved me, and still does. The man you loved enough to kill. I hope you rot in your cell, and they send you somewhere else other than hell. Because hell is too good for you."
"Rebel, when will you learn? Jimmy's last words weren't 'I love Rebel' or anything like that. He doesn't care less for you, why do you think he was with me?" I asked her.
"He does. And what the hell was his last words." Rebel asked me as I stood up, ready to be taken back to my cell.
"I love you Whatsername." I said and Rebel screamed as I was taken through the doors protecting me from Rebel's age.
"You're lying! He loves me!" she screamed.
I shook my head and smiled at her as I saw her for the last time...
So that is the truth, Jimmy didn't commit suicide, he was murdered. By me, Whatsername. Don't believe the hype about what happened on that night on the bay, because it isn't true.
