Bullet, chapter 2
Today, the day of her best friend's funeral, and she had nothing to say. She had been asked to speak, but nothing could come to mind. Sasha had killed herself, what did she have to say? The funeral was at one, it was already eleven. She had been asked to speak by Sasha's mother. She had to think of something. Think you stupid bitch. She thought to herself. Hmm, what say oh I loved her so much but then one day she killed herself and I don't know why. She knew she couldn't. God think, think, think. She knew she needed to think of something, but she needed to get a shower.
She took a hot shower. It made her feel better. It was like the steam opened up her mind. She had a basic idea of what she was going to say. But she would probably just improvise at the funeral. Something along the lines of, I knew her, I loved her, and so did many other people. But I did know her the most, her thoughts and feelings. It has even shocked me to know that she has done it to herself. For I do not know why. Yeah. Something along those lines, she thought.
She got out of the shower and dried off. She darkened her eyes with her black eyeliner and brushed her hair. She then looked at herself in the mirror. Look at me. I'm the one that should have died, not her. She had so much to offer in this world. Why did she even do it? She put it out of her mind. It was about twelve. She had been in the shower for near an hour. She ran to go slip on her simple black dress. Pure silk, nothing else. Before she grabbed her keys, she checked to make sure everything looked ok. She then rushed out toward her car. It would be about a thirty minute drive.
She pushed in an Aerosmith CD, that always seemed to calm her down no matter what. Music was pretty much her life. She'd always been into music, she loved it. She had been in a band for a few years, and they are still together. All of them knew and loved Sasha. They were all really close to her, they would be at the funeral, wouldn't miss it for the world. But, she, Cris, had been the closest to her. They had known each other for what seemed like their whole lives. They thought alike, loved the same music, and were pretty much a perfect match. Everything was great when they were younger. Wasn't it for everyone?
It started turning when they were about thirteen. Everything just seemed to start going wrong. One thing after another. When I look back at it, Sasha was always more depressed than I was, and she got depressed a lot more, too. She thought. It seemed to both of them that, well, nothing was ever going to turn out well for them. Both had just thought about giving up, both had attempted suicide. But they had both helped each other, and stuck it out.
She had gotten happier, but, Sasha hadn't. It had basically been a nonstop depression for three to four years. I don't know why she finally did it, I really didn't think that she would. I should have been there for her more. But I never knew where she was, she was usually off with her boyfriend or something. She sighed.
She wondered if Michael would be there. He had known Sasha, and, well, she had actually introduced us. She and Michael had been going out for about a month. He had been calling, but lately, she hadn't been answering. He had left her a couple voicemails, saying that he was worried about her. She hadn't returned one of his calls. She would see him today, and she would explain things to him.
She was about to get to the church. She pulled into the parking lot, stepped out, and walked inside. At the doorway she was greeted by a crying Mrs. Evan who was quick to hug her. Sasha's mom, it was hard to look at her. But she quickly hugged back. Mrs. Evan walked her inside, where she saw her band mates, and Michael. Sasha's mom walked off to leave us alone. They all came over. Michael looked at her with the saddest eyes, it almost made her start crying. She had to look away, her eyes were already starting to tear up. He walked behind her and started to hold her. It made her feel so safe, which she hadn't felt in a while. She looked to her friends. They had been so worried about her. They had told her that. She felt bad about not answering any of their calls. "I'm sorry," she whispered. They hugged her, but the funeral was about to start, so they had to take their seats.
She sat between Michael and Jo. Michael held her hand the whole time. Soon it was her time to go up and speak. She walked up, in front of everyone. She said what she planned on saying, putting in some more things here and there. She walked back to her seat and Michael grabbed her hand again. What she had said made Mrs. Adam cry.
The funeral ended. Michael decided to go home with her. They said their goodbye's and I love you's to her friends and gave hugs. Then the two of them drove back to her house.
The sat on the couch and turned on the TV. He started to cuddle with her. Putting his arms around her. She moved a bit closer to him. They stayed like that for a while. He then started to kiss her. She kissed him at first, but soon stopped. He understood.
He stayed for hours. She ended up falling asleep on him. He stayed while she slept, just in case she woke up before tomorrow.
She woke up around seven. Michael had moved to the floor in front of the couch, his back leaning against it. She looked down to see if he had fallen asleep, too. He hadn't. He was, though, starting to doze off while watching TV. She moved slowly and quietly. She slowly started moving her arm down to his side. Then, when her hand had gotten low enough, she grabbed his upper thigh. Oh how high he jumped. She laughed at him. He glared then started laughing too. She kissed him.
She looked to the TV. He had been watching some comedy movie. She started watching it too.
It was starting to get late. He asked if she wanted him to stay the night. She said she didn't, when really she did, oh so very much. She gave him a weak smile. He kissed her on the lips. "I'm staying," he whispered.
She took a hot shower. It made her feel better. It was like the steam opened up her mind. She had a basic idea of what she was going to say. But she would probably just improvise at the funeral. Something along the lines of, I knew her, I loved her, and so did many other people. But I did know her the most, her thoughts and feelings. It has even shocked me to know that she has done it to herself. For I do not know why. Yeah. Something along those lines, she thought.
She got out of the shower and dried off. She darkened her eyes with her black eyeliner and brushed her hair. She then looked at herself in the mirror. Look at me. I'm the one that should have died, not her. She had so much to offer in this world. Why did she even do it? She put it out of her mind. It was about twelve. She had been in the shower for near an hour. She ran to go slip on her simple black dress. Pure silk, nothing else. Before she grabbed her keys, she checked to make sure everything looked ok. She then rushed out toward her car. It would be about a thirty minute drive.
She pushed in an Aerosmith CD, that always seemed to calm her down no matter what. Music was pretty much her life. She'd always been into music, she loved it. She had been in a band for a few years, and they are still together. All of them knew and loved Sasha. They were all really close to her, they would be at the funeral, wouldn't miss it for the world. But, she, Cris, had been the closest to her. They had known each other for what seemed like their whole lives. They thought alike, loved the same music, and were pretty much a perfect match. Everything was great when they were younger. Wasn't it for everyone?
It started turning when they were about thirteen. Everything just seemed to start going wrong. One thing after another. When I look back at it, Sasha was always more depressed than I was, and she got depressed a lot more, too. She thought. It seemed to both of them that, well, nothing was ever going to turn out well for them. Both had just thought about giving up, both had attempted suicide. But they had both helped each other, and stuck it out.
She had gotten happier, but, Sasha hadn't. It had basically been a nonstop depression for three to four years. I don't know why she finally did it, I really didn't think that she would. I should have been there for her more. But I never knew where she was, she was usually off with her boyfriend or something. She sighed.
She wondered if Michael would be there. He had known Sasha, and, well, she had actually introduced us. She and Michael had been going out for about a month. He had been calling, but lately, she hadn't been answering. He had left her a couple voicemails, saying that he was worried about her. She hadn't returned one of his calls. She would see him today, and she would explain things to him.
She was about to get to the church. She pulled into the parking lot, stepped out, and walked inside. At the doorway she was greeted by a crying Mrs. Evan who was quick to hug her. Sasha's mom, it was hard to look at her. But she quickly hugged back. Mrs. Evan walked her inside, where she saw her band mates, and Michael. Sasha's mom walked off to leave us alone. They all came over. Michael looked at her with the saddest eyes, it almost made her start crying. She had to look away, her eyes were already starting to tear up. He walked behind her and started to hold her. It made her feel so safe, which she hadn't felt in a while. She looked to her friends. They had been so worried about her. They had told her that. She felt bad about not answering any of their calls. "I'm sorry," she whispered. They hugged her, but the funeral was about to start, so they had to take their seats.
She sat between Michael and Jo. Michael held her hand the whole time. Soon it was her time to go up and speak. She walked up, in front of everyone. She said what she planned on saying, putting in some more things here and there. She walked back to her seat and Michael grabbed her hand again. What she had said made Mrs. Adam cry.
The funeral ended. Michael decided to go home with her. They said their goodbye's and I love you's to her friends and gave hugs. Then the two of them drove back to her house.
The sat on the couch and turned on the TV. He started to cuddle with her. Putting his arms around her. She moved a bit closer to him. They stayed like that for a while. He then started to kiss her. She kissed him at first, but soon stopped. He understood.
He stayed for hours. She ended up falling asleep on him. He stayed while she slept, just in case she woke up before tomorrow.
She woke up around seven. Michael had moved to the floor in front of the couch, his back leaning against it. She looked down to see if he had fallen asleep, too. He hadn't. He was, though, starting to doze off while watching TV. She moved slowly and quietly. She slowly started moving her arm down to his side. Then, when her hand had gotten low enough, she grabbed his upper thigh. Oh how high he jumped. She laughed at him. He glared then started laughing too. She kissed him.
She looked to the TV. He had been watching some comedy movie. She started watching it too.
It was starting to get late. He asked if she wanted him to stay the night. She said she didn't, when really she did, oh so very much. She gave him a weak smile. He kissed her on the lips. "I'm staying," he whispered.
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