Affections, chapter 2
We're headed home now. I keep my head down, never looking up to meet those eyes again. In the car I sit as far away as possible, laughing half heartedly at Tre's drunken jokes. I can feel those eyes on me, puzzled, 'why wont he look at me?'
We're tired and a bit drunk, so we decide it would be best if we all crash at the Armstrong house. I'm not that keen. But what can I do?
Joey is still up. I watch as he's picked up and swung around, those dark eyes a little annoyed that he's awake at this time, but still amused, full of laughter, which seems to spill over and come out of the soft sensitive mouth in a musical sound that makes my ears sing. The baby sitter is reprimanded sternly. I wonder what it would be like to be on the receiving end of that... but no... stop... its wrong to think like that.
The Armstrongs head upstairs with their son, and I relax slightly, breathe out shakily. Tre walks easily to the kitchen and comes back with a six-pack... more drinks... lovely.... he tosses me one. I lie back on a couch, eyes closed, taking a swig every now and then. I have my eyes closed, but still all I see is that figure, printed on the back of my eyelids.
"You know" says Tre, in a thoughtful voice, "You'd look good in eyeliner.. you should try it"
I laugh, not opening my eyes "Fuck off. Not gonna happen."
"Awwww, c'mon... please do it!"
"No"
"Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease..."
"GODAMMIT! OK" I jump up, shouting. Then I realise what I have done, and grin, pretending it was a joke. I don't want to smear makeup around my face, but I know he won't shut up if I don't.
He grins in a slightly puzzled way, then says "Ok. Go up to his room." he nods towards the stairs. "He'll have some up there, and a mirror. Have fun" He grins again at my discomfort. But its not because, as he thinks, I don't like the idea of 'guyliner'. Its because they're up there.
I breathe in and head towards the stairs, treading softly. I go into their room and fumble for the lights. They flick on and I'm nearly blinded. I go to the dresser in the corner and sit carefully in front of it, avoid looking at the double bed where that figure must lie, barely covered by the thin sheets......
I snap my attention back to the mirror, gaze into my own eyes.
"Pull yourself together" I murmur "It's out of your reach".
I look at the pile of cosmetics on the table (enough for two people) and pull out a stick of dark eyeliner. Concentrating hard, with my tongue sticking out slightly, I edge the tip of it towards my face... and poke myself hard in the eye.
"Awwwwwwwwww, JEEEESUS, sunnuvuhBITCH", I curse in a strangled whisper.
I stop suddenly. I can hear two people walking along the hall from Joey's room. One person goes downstairs, I hear Tre's voice raised in greeting. But one person is coming towards me. And I know that soft tread better than my own now. The door opens slightly and a figure slips in the room. And there's that laugh again.
"What ARE you doing?" they giggle, and it is a giggle.
"It was Tre, a stupid thing, he wanted me to put eyeliner on"
"Ahh, ok. C'mere"
Soft hands are cupping my cheeks, turning me towards that pale face. I shiver at the touch, feel a tingle run down my spine. Fingers prise the eyeliner from my now unresisting hands. As the stick is traced around my eyes, I can feel soft warm breath on my face and see the play of light on the dark curls. I concentrate on that, because I don't trust my self to look into those eyes that are even now trained on mine.
"There" the soft lips, so close to my own just then, part in a dazzling smile. "Pretty as a picture". My leg is slapped playfully, my fresh-dyed black hair ruffled.
"You know" says the voice thoughtfully "Some people say you look better as a blonde, but I don't know... I kinda like it this way" There is another giggle. "Come on, lets join the others and get piss ass drunk!"
I watch the figure as it slips from the room again
And wait for my traitorously beating heart to slow before I follow.
We're tired and a bit drunk, so we decide it would be best if we all crash at the Armstrong house. I'm not that keen. But what can I do?
Joey is still up. I watch as he's picked up and swung around, those dark eyes a little annoyed that he's awake at this time, but still amused, full of laughter, which seems to spill over and come out of the soft sensitive mouth in a musical sound that makes my ears sing. The baby sitter is reprimanded sternly. I wonder what it would be like to be on the receiving end of that... but no... stop... its wrong to think like that.
The Armstrongs head upstairs with their son, and I relax slightly, breathe out shakily. Tre walks easily to the kitchen and comes back with a six-pack... more drinks... lovely.... he tosses me one. I lie back on a couch, eyes closed, taking a swig every now and then. I have my eyes closed, but still all I see is that figure, printed on the back of my eyelids.
"You know" says Tre, in a thoughtful voice, "You'd look good in eyeliner.. you should try it"
I laugh, not opening my eyes "Fuck off. Not gonna happen."
"Awwww, c'mon... please do it!"
"No"
"Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease..."
"GODAMMIT! OK" I jump up, shouting. Then I realise what I have done, and grin, pretending it was a joke. I don't want to smear makeup around my face, but I know he won't shut up if I don't.
He grins in a slightly puzzled way, then says "Ok. Go up to his room." he nods towards the stairs. "He'll have some up there, and a mirror. Have fun" He grins again at my discomfort. But its not because, as he thinks, I don't like the idea of 'guyliner'. Its because they're up there.
I breathe in and head towards the stairs, treading softly. I go into their room and fumble for the lights. They flick on and I'm nearly blinded. I go to the dresser in the corner and sit carefully in front of it, avoid looking at the double bed where that figure must lie, barely covered by the thin sheets......
I snap my attention back to the mirror, gaze into my own eyes.
"Pull yourself together" I murmur "It's out of your reach".
I look at the pile of cosmetics on the table (enough for two people) and pull out a stick of dark eyeliner. Concentrating hard, with my tongue sticking out slightly, I edge the tip of it towards my face... and poke myself hard in the eye.
"Awwwwwwwwww, JEEEESUS, sunnuvuhBITCH", I curse in a strangled whisper.
I stop suddenly. I can hear two people walking along the hall from Joey's room. One person goes downstairs, I hear Tre's voice raised in greeting. But one person is coming towards me. And I know that soft tread better than my own now. The door opens slightly and a figure slips in the room. And there's that laugh again.
"What ARE you doing?" they giggle, and it is a giggle.
"It was Tre, a stupid thing, he wanted me to put eyeliner on"
"Ahh, ok. C'mere"
Soft hands are cupping my cheeks, turning me towards that pale face. I shiver at the touch, feel a tingle run down my spine. Fingers prise the eyeliner from my now unresisting hands. As the stick is traced around my eyes, I can feel soft warm breath on my face and see the play of light on the dark curls. I concentrate on that, because I don't trust my self to look into those eyes that are even now trained on mine.
"There" the soft lips, so close to my own just then, part in a dazzling smile. "Pretty as a picture". My leg is slapped playfully, my fresh-dyed black hair ruffled.
"You know" says the voice thoughtfully "Some people say you look better as a blonde, but I don't know... I kinda like it this way" There is another giggle. "Come on, lets join the others and get piss ass drunk!"
I watch the figure as it slips from the room again
And wait for my traitorously beating heart to slow before I follow.
