Affections, chapter 50
The Affections of Tre Part 7.
In the days after we found out the baby would have been Billie's, and that it would have been a little girl on top of that, things seemed to tense up a little. Sure, the baby was his, but Adie still cheated on him, right? Twice. With his two best friends. And Adie and Billie had been trying for a girl for so long too. I know he thought the whole thing was his fault, because he tripped while carrying her up the stairs. Maybe he still does think that, I don't know. But things happened. Like I walked in on Bill crying once. And then again, I walked in on Adrienne looking at a book of baby names.
As well as that, me and Mike weren't going so well. He wanted to tell everyone about us. I said we should wait because this was a really bad time for everyone. Could they really deal?
But now I think he was right. We should have told everyone, should have cleared the air. Then maybe none of this would have happened. I wouldn't be here writing this. And me and Mike could have been a proper couple, instead of stealing half-awkward moments together when everyone else was out. Claudia wouldn't have had the opportunity that she did.
And that's what this whole thing is supposed to be about isn't it? Claudia, and her disappearance. I know she isn't dead, because she told me she was going to do this, to get back at me. And I know I didn't kill her, because I think I would fucking remember something like that!
I still don't understand what I did to her to make her angry in the first place. Fall in love with Mike. Since when was falling in love a crime?
Ah, I'm getting ahead of myself now. I never was good at any of this shit. I'm not that sort of person. Actions, not words, you know? Now where was I...
I didn't notice what was happening to Claudia, and I should have done. I didn't see how much she hated seeing me in love again. I should have seen it in her eyes when she looked at Mike, and how she kept my little Franky boy away from him.
Oh god, my little guy. I hope he's being brave. Every time I think about him I feel like such a fucking dick. I promised him I wouldn't leave. He came up to me after it happened and sat on my knees and hugged my waist, and asked me where his mom had gone. And I said that she had gone away for a while.
And he made me promise that his daddy would never leave him too.
And now I have, and he will never be able to understand why.
Oh god, am I doing the right thing? Am I just being a stupid selfish prick like usual? And what will Mike be thinking now? And Billie and Adie?
Sorry. Don't mind the smudges on this paper. Tears'll do that to ink.
Ok, I should get things in order here. It was about two, maybe three weeks ago that it started going wrong, I mean really wrong. Two or three weeks ago all the bitterness and anger and resentment Claudia was feeling came out. Two or three weeks ago, Claudia decided that if me and Mike weren't going to out ourselves, she could do it for us. Two or three weeks ago, Claudia, the mother of my only son, the woman I could always rely on, the woman I loved as a wife, and then as a friend...
Two or three weeks ago she destroyed my life.
In the days after we found out the baby would have been Billie's, and that it would have been a little girl on top of that, things seemed to tense up a little. Sure, the baby was his, but Adie still cheated on him, right? Twice. With his two best friends. And Adie and Billie had been trying for a girl for so long too. I know he thought the whole thing was his fault, because he tripped while carrying her up the stairs. Maybe he still does think that, I don't know. But things happened. Like I walked in on Bill crying once. And then again, I walked in on Adrienne looking at a book of baby names.
As well as that, me and Mike weren't going so well. He wanted to tell everyone about us. I said we should wait because this was a really bad time for everyone. Could they really deal?
But now I think he was right. We should have told everyone, should have cleared the air. Then maybe none of this would have happened. I wouldn't be here writing this. And me and Mike could have been a proper couple, instead of stealing half-awkward moments together when everyone else was out. Claudia wouldn't have had the opportunity that she did.
And that's what this whole thing is supposed to be about isn't it? Claudia, and her disappearance. I know she isn't dead, because she told me she was going to do this, to get back at me. And I know I didn't kill her, because I think I would fucking remember something like that!
I still don't understand what I did to her to make her angry in the first place. Fall in love with Mike. Since when was falling in love a crime?
Ah, I'm getting ahead of myself now. I never was good at any of this shit. I'm not that sort of person. Actions, not words, you know? Now where was I...
I didn't notice what was happening to Claudia, and I should have done. I didn't see how much she hated seeing me in love again. I should have seen it in her eyes when she looked at Mike, and how she kept my little Franky boy away from him.
Oh god, my little guy. I hope he's being brave. Every time I think about him I feel like such a fucking dick. I promised him I wouldn't leave. He came up to me after it happened and sat on my knees and hugged my waist, and asked me where his mom had gone. And I said that she had gone away for a while.
And he made me promise that his daddy would never leave him too.
And now I have, and he will never be able to understand why.
Oh god, am I doing the right thing? Am I just being a stupid selfish prick like usual? And what will Mike be thinking now? And Billie and Adie?
Sorry. Don't mind the smudges on this paper. Tears'll do that to ink.
Ok, I should get things in order here. It was about two, maybe three weeks ago that it started going wrong, I mean really wrong. Two or three weeks ago all the bitterness and anger and resentment Claudia was feeling came out. Two or three weeks ago, Claudia decided that if me and Mike weren't going to out ourselves, she could do it for us. Two or three weeks ago, Claudia, the mother of my only son, the woman I could always rely on, the woman I loved as a wife, and then as a friend...
Two or three weeks ago she destroyed my life.
