Enjoy The Silence, chapter 2

Tre lay in Dana's bed with her light, flowery scent all around him. Dana had left only minutes ago to grab some fast food, both deciding that neither of them wanted to bother with cooking their own food. Tre rolled over on his side and buried his face in her pillow, smelling the scent of Dana's strawberry shampoo that had affixed itself firmly there. He closed his eyes and tried to relax, waiting for the soothing warmth to come over him and comfort him like it always had. Instead, the numbness remained.

Tre opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling, his eyes tracing the swirls of paint that resided there. He didn't understand why the numbness remained. Dana had always taken it away and always made him feel better. She had had this way of making him feel like himself again, and sometimes he could even forget about the past. Not this time, though. The past was all that was stuck inside his head, and now that he reflected over it, sex with Dana right then shouldn't have happened. He had used her to make himself feel better, and when he didn't feel better, he felt even more like shit.

He willed himself out of the bed and dressed slowly, his movements being sluggish and almost mechanical. He looked himself over in the mirror when he got into the bathroom, only to find that he didn't much like the person who stared back. He really looked like shit, with bags under his eyes and his face looking thinner than he last remembered it. His eyes were even much darker than normal, and the entire look came together in a gloomy conclusion, leaving Tre only to think of why he was this way.

He had lost one of the most important things that he had in life, and that was Kadi. And then he found Dana, who had made the pain disappear, and now he was losing her, too. Everything that made him feel real was slipping away. He didn't feel like anything anymore. Drumming had even lost its luster as well, and things with the band suffered. Deep down, he knew all of this, but he didn't know how to fix it. He didn't even know if there was a way to fix it.

"Why did you have to leave me?" Tre asked as he closed his eyes. He could almost see Kadi's smiling face, her slightly crooked smile and sarcastic eye roll. Her laughter filled his head, quickly followed by her contented sigh. Tre shook his head, rubbing a hand over his face. Everything always seemed to be some kind of memory for him, bittersweet and always just what it was-a memory.

Memories from his not too distant passed swam ceaselessly in the forefront of his subconscious, taunting him relentlessly over the things that he would never have again. All were of Kadi and the moments that they had shared together. The first meeting. The small gestures and flirtatious words. The little touches. The first time they kissed. The first time they had sex. All those good things that he missed commingled with the harsh remembrance that he could never have that again. He could never have Kadi again.

Tre found himself vaguely wishing that he had never met Kadi in the first place, and that he would have listened to Billie ("No, Tre, we've got shit to do tomorrow. I don't feel like going to the club. Would it kill you to stay in for one night?"). Immediately he took back the thought, apologizing silently to her memory and nostalgically thought back to the time they had met.


The club was packed that night, and Tre and Billie navigated through the sweaty, dancing bodies to make their way towards the bar. The smell of alcohol and cheap perfume filled the air, as well as a dense heat from all of the surrounding people. Tre loved it, though. This seemingly unattractive environment was one that he knew well, one that he thrived in. From the moment he had walked in the door, three women had already smiled at him, and it was just the kind of lighthearted contact that he needed to wind down from all the work he and the guys had been doing lately.

From behind him, he could hear Billie letting out his habitual heavy sigh, signaling that there were definitely other things that he would rather be doing with his time. Such as talking on the phone to Adrienne, sleeping, writing, blah blah and a bunch of other things that consisted of sitting around the hotel all night. Basically, they all fell into the category of 'boring' in Tre's mind. He craved the human contact, he craved the social atmosphere, and who knew-he might even find a pretty lady and get lucky tonight. Not that he was the kind of man who went around womanizing all the time, but sometimes he felt the need for a one night stand here and there, and besides... if the woman was willing, he didn't much see the problem.

"Let's not hang around here too long, huh," Billie suggested in a very decisive tone, one that left very little room for compromise. Tre only rolled his eyes and threw an arm around Billie as they finally approached the bar.

"Come on, Bill," Tre said lightheartedly, giving Billie an encouraging squeeze before letting him go. He paused long enough to order them both drinks before turning back to the singer. "I think it's time that you cut loose for a little while. Enjoy yourself."

"Tre, I don't need to go to clubs to enjoy myself," Billie elaborated. "I don't see what's wrong with spending at least one night sitting at the hotel and chilling out for once." Tre leaned against the bar with a smile, wishing the drinks would hurry up so he could get Billie to loosen up quicker. He gave the bar one sweeping gaze, his eyes resting on a table with two girls seated in the corner. The one facing his direction happened to look up at the same time he had looked her way, and she smiled faintly and looked back towards her friend.

"Live a little," Tre said, his line of thought being interrupted by the bartender setting down their drinks. Tre slid the money across the bar at him. "Thanks man," he said as he once again turned back to Billie. "For once, revert back to the old days. The tour's almost done, and you can get back to Adie and the kids in less than two weeks. Besides, I think at least one night out drinking is what you need."

"No, what I need is... " Billie's voice failed to penetrate Tre's ears after that point, the same old song and dance about to replay itself in a recorder type fashion. It was always the same when Tre urged Billie to come out with him, and he always found himself wishing that he had taken Mike instead. Of course, Mike was always more level headed than Billie on some degree, and Tre couldn't really get away with as much when he was around him. At least when Billie got a few drinks in him he would start to let loose.

This wasn't the reason why Tre had shifted his attention away from Billie, however. He had looked over at the girl facing him again, this time a little disappointed that she didn't meet his gaze this time. She was talking quietly with her friend, almost in a persistent assurance from what Tre could tell. He wasn't really interested in the conversation, for the moments anyway, as he was taking this time to admire her aesthetic looks. Her dark brown, almost black hair was pulled up into a half pony tail, the rest of it falling loosely down her back. He watched as she reached across the table and gave her friend's hand a little squeeze, smiling and revealing a beautifully crooked smile. His eyes traced down her body, habitually, noticing how she wasn't close to skinny but definitely far from fat. The word cute popped to mind when he had first seen her, but now he found that he was horribly mistaken. She was nothing short of beautiful, and he hadn't even walked over and said hi yet.

"Sure Bill," Tre added, patting Billie on the chest and downing the rest of his drink. Billie had completely stopped his thought when Tre had done this, nothing he had been saying even coming close to meriting a 'sure Bill.' Raising an eyebrow Billie traced Tre's line of sight, his gaze resting on the two girls in the booth in the corner. Billie sighed and returned his attention back to Tre.

"Tre, it never seems to fail that-" Tre was walking off before his sentence even finished, and Billie only stood with a half exasperated, half irritated look on his face.

"Hey gorgeous," Tre said when he approached the table, tacking on his own crooked smile at the dark haired beauty. She smiled and glanced over at hear friend, who Tre didn't have to look at to know she was rolling her eyes. The dark haired girl didn't pay much attention to her friend, though, because she returned Tre's gaze quickly, which was definitely a good sign. He noticed that her eyes were a normal and yet expressive shade of blue.

"Hey yourself," she responded, her voice lower pitched than he would have guessed. It was naturally husky and almost had a silky quality to it, and Tre found that he liked that very much. In fact, he couldn't really see anything he didn't like about her. "I'm Kadi." Tre's grin widened, loving how she gave her name so straightforwardly when normally he would have had to offer his first.

"Tre," he responded. He looked over at her friend, who was almost gaping at Kadi now, probably in disbelief that she hadn't laughed in his face at the way he had made his entrance. "And you are-?" he asked to her friend, more to be polite than anything.

"Rachel," she responded, the laughter edging her voice. She hid her face quickly behind her bottle as she took a drink of beer, further stifling a snort as she watched Kadi's own reaction.

"Do you want to sit?" Kadi asked, preparing to make room for him to join them. Tre just shook his head and glanced behind him.

"I figured we could dance," he said with a nonchalant shrug. Kadi once again looked at her friend as she moved out of the booth, and Tre could have swore that she stuck her tongue out at her.

"Sure," Kadi agreed, letting him grab her hand and pull her out on the dance floor. The music was loud, but it wasn't blaring, which Tre was grateful for. He felt like learning about Kadi, because something brazen about her intrigued him. Well, brazen wasn't really the word. Uninhibited seemed to be a little closer, but still not what he was looking for.

"You live here in Oakland?" he asked, raising his own voice over the music only a little. Kadi nodded and gave a general area, which was across town from Billie's place. Tre nodded his understanding, pulling her a little closer because the music seemed to get louder. She submitted to that quickly, almost naturally, smiling all the while.

"What about you?" she asked. Tre shook his head.

"I live in L.A.," he responded. Kadi let out a small little laugh.

"I'm sorry," she apologized. Tre laughed as well. He laughed even further when she randomly stopped dancing to hike up her pants a little, almost comically. "Fucking pants don't want to stay up," she said apologetically. Tre's grin turned momentarily lecherous.

"If they want to come off, let 'em," he said sneakily. Kadi gave him her own smile, but it was unfortunately not lined with the same enthusiasm for innuendo. It really wasn't that disappointing, though, because she didn't seem to him to be turned off by his perverseness at all... more uninterested in succumbing to sexual desire.

"I'm already not wearing any underwear, so if the pants came off... " Kadi trailed off, her sentence turning into giggles. Tre had been shocked by that small statement, apparently misreading Kadi's initial reaction. He supposed the look on his face was priceless at the moment. "Ah, the look on your face was great," she admitted as she began dancing again. The song switched from the faster beat to a slower, pulsing beat. Kadi adjusted positions, sliding her arms around his neck.

"It was just random," Tre replied." I just didn't expect that coming from you." Kadi grinned slightly, moving with the rhythmic beat coming from the speakers. Tre could smell her perfume through all the other scents in the air, light and pleasant. He couldn't put his finger on what it was, but right now it was driving him crazy.

"What did you expect from me then?" Kadi asked curiously. "Do I really look that innocent?" She didn't wait for his response, however, because she was frowning at the speakers. "This music sounds like cheap porn music," she stated randomly. Frowning even more deeply, Kadi stopped dancing, taking in a deep breath. Tre frowned himself as he watched her, her face distorting to something that looked like pain, her arms creeping around her midsection slowly.

"Are you okay?" Tre asked, not having a clue what was going on. Kadi turned her attention back to him, with almost a bit of surprise, like she hadn't noticed that he was still standing there. "Come on, let's step outside. It's probably the heat." Kadi nodded in agreement, letting Tre lead her out of a back door into the cool, night air.

"Sorry," Kadi murmured, leaning against the wall of the club. Tre nodded, leaning against the building as well.

"Do you want a drink or something?" he asked out of concern.

"I have a drink back at my table," she offered, giving Tre an appreciative look. The wind blew and Kadi shivered convulsively, bring Tre's attention to the fact that it was pretty chilly out.

"I'll be right back," Tre announced, running back into the club. He quickly maneuvered his way through the dancing bodies and back to the bar where Billie was standing, looking very bored as he talked to some girl that was trying like hell to pick him up. "Hey Bill," Tre said distractedly, grabbing his jacket off of the bar stool that he had thrown it on.

"Can we go yet?" Billie asked quietly, trying to be discreet in front of the smiling blonde. Tre glanced at the woman and then back at Billie.

"Why?" he asked. "Looks like you're having a great time." Tre didn't give Billie a chance to respond before making his way over to Kadi's friend, Rachel, where she was sitting and staring into her drink, stirring it absentmindedly with her straw. "Hey," Tre said, making Rachel glance up.

"Where's Kadi?" she asked immediately, looking around. Tre gave her a smile of assurance.

"She's outside," Tre responded. "I just came in to get her drink."

"Is something wrong?" Rachel questioned, almost forcefully. Tre frowned and shook his head.

"Nah," he answered slowly. "It was just really hot in here is all. Is this hers?" he pointed at the glass sitting where Kadi had been, Rachel glancing down at it.

"If you guys don't come back in ten minutes, I'm coming out there," Rachel threatened. Tre blinked at her a couple times before grabbing Kadi's drink.

"I'm not going to drug her or anything, jeez," he joked. "I'll have her back in a minute." Rachel didn't look completely satisfied with this, but she took it nonetheless. Tre made his way once again through to the back door. Kadi was still leaning against the wall, staring ahead at nothing in particular in the alley. "Here," Tre said, first offering Kadi his jacket. She took it with a small smile, slipping it on gratefully. He handed her her drink next, which she took a significant drink out of.

"I'm really sorry," she apologized, but Tre waved it off. "Guess it was just too hot in there," she added.

"It was just me," Tre answered. "My body has a temperature scale of its own. I should have warned you." Kadi giggled, playing with the zipper on his coat. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Kadi assured him, but it didn't sound like a very sturdy answer. She wasn't looking him in the eyes, but rather at the ground.

"You sure?" Tre asked again, shivering himself as another cool gust of wind blew through the alley. Kadi nodded, looking at him this time.

"If you want your jacket back... " Kadi trailed off. Tre smiled and shook his head in decline.

"Go ahead and keep it on," Tre instructed. Kadi shrugged.

"I never planned on taking it off," she said, "it's warm." She opened it up instead, inviting Tre to get warmer inside the jacket with her. Tre didn't hesitate to step forward and press against her inside the jacket, feeling the warmth already even before she closed it around as much of his as she could get.

"I like how you think," Tre mumbled, his hands resting on her waist. Kadi giggled again, but it was very distracted and forced. "What's-" he didn't get his question out before she fell forward forcefully, landing in his arms. For a moment he was sure that she had passed out until she clung onto him.

"You wouldn't understand," Kadi said softly, her mouth so close to his face that he could feel her hot breath on his skin. He turned his head slightly to look into her eyes, which were dull with pain that she was trying to hold back. He held her tighter, convincing himself it was just so she wouldn't fall. Her sentence didn't really penetrate his thoughts as he leaned down and captured her lips with his own. Surprisingly, she kissed back, parting her lips and letting him deepen the kiss. Kadi gripped him tighter, her left hand resting on the nape of his neck.

The kiss was short-lived as the door to the club opened, causing Tre to look up. He was positive that it was going to be Rachel with a torch and pitchfork, but it was Billie looking very irritated. "Tre, let's go," he ordered more than said. His face softened a bit when he saw Kadi, who was regarding him with a little bit of confusion.

"Yeah, yeah, Billie, I'm coming," Tre said with a sigh, regrettably pulling away from Kadi. He looked down at her again when Billie had the decency to shut the back door, leaving them along again. "I've gotta go."

Kadi nodded, pulling away even further from Tre. She tugged at her brown hair a little before smiling up at him. "It was nice meeting you." Tre smiled slightly, feeling a little disappointed that it was going to end like this. He stood in silence for a moment before bending down and planting a kiss on her cheek.

"You too," he replied. "And you should get home and get some rest. Oh, and you better get back in there, otherwise your friend is going to hunt me down and have my ass." Kadi smiled at this, Tre winking as he walked back into the club. Billie was leaning in the doorway on the inside, waiting.

"You done, Casanova?" Billie asked, forcefully pushing Tre to the front door. Tre jerked his arm away from Billie.

"Easy, Bill. What's got your panties in a bunch?" Tre asked. Billie only shot a small glare at Tre before jerking his head towards the bar.

"Paris' twin over there decided to take it upon herself to grab my shit as a 'hey, how are ya,'" Billie explained as they quickly exited the club and walked over to the car. "I fucking knew we should've just stayed in for once."

"Yeah yeah, no life and all of that," Tre answered distractedly. He got in the car once Billie unlocked it, sliding into the passenger seat looking slightly disgruntled. Before Billie started the car he looked over at Tre with a frown.

"Jesus Christ, Tre," Billie said upon seeing the look on his face. "Like you won't find another fucking chick in other cities to screw." Billie started the car up, pulling out of the parking lot and driving towards the hotel. "I swear if we kept a roster of all the girls you-"

"Hey, just because you had a bad night doesn't mean you have to take it out on me," Tre snapped, not wanting Billie to start in with his bullshit again. Billie just shook his head and waved a dismissing hand at Tre, signaling that he wasn't even going to bother. They were in the hotel within a few minutes, it being late and not many cars being on the road. Neither of them said anything as they both made their way to the elevator, climbing in in silence. As Tre was pushing the number four, Billie's cell phone began to ring loudly in his pocket. He pulled it out and gave it a funny look as he surveyed the number with confusion.

"Hello?" he answered. He listened for a few seconds before letting out a little laugh. "Yeah, you got the right one. Here he is." Billie extended his phone out to Tre, who looked at it dumbly. "It's for you, dumbass." Tre snatched the phone from Billie with mild irritation at his insult.

"Yeah," Tre answered.

"You forgot your jacket," Kadi responded. Tre smiled to himself. Her voice sounded even more sexy over the phone.

"Did I?" he asked, not even noticing that he had left it until she had just pointed it out. "I guess I did. Dumb question, huh?"

"Where are you at?" Kadi questioned. "I'm sure you want it back. This is your cell phone I'm using. You called that one guy Billie, so I figured I'd scroll down your list until I found a Billie. Hope that's okay."

"No, that's fine," Tre agreed. "I appreciate it." Tre gave Kadi the hotel that they were staying at, feeling very elated at the fact that he was going to see her again. He didn't usually have such a deep preoccupation with women, at least on a sentiment level, but this girl was different. No, cute definitely wasn't the word for her. Striking was about dead on, in all sense of the word.


Tre heard the front door open and shut, signaling that Dana was back with some food. Food was something that wasn't really on his mind at the moment, but he figured that he needed to force himself to eat something. He hadn't even realized that he had lost weight since Kadi's death-at least, not that much weight. He walked out of the bathroom, slipping a shirt over his head, and into the living room. Dana smiled at him as she set the Subway bag down.

"Hope Subway is alright," she said, throwing her car keys on the table. Tre just nodded and sat down on the couch, hoping that the look of regret wasn't etched on his face. It wasn't that he regretted having Dana, but he regretted his decisions with her thus far. Life was a complicated thing, if there ever was a man who hated complications more, Tre would love to meet him. "You okay, baby?"

"I'm fine," Tre answered, leaning over and kissing Dana on the cheek. She smiled and opened the Subway bag, handing him a sub before pulling out her own. Tre's stomach knotted at the way that Dana's face glowed naturally after sex, even though it had been a good hour since. He forcibly took a bite of the sub, wishing that he could keep from making Dana feel like that. He knew how much she cared, and if there was one thing that he was sure of in his fucked up life, it was that he didn't deserve her.

Tre left the next morning to drive to Billie's to work on their new record. He had been awake pretty much all the night, laying on his back and staring at the ceiling as Dana slept quietly beside him. Memories from the past kept haunting him, random moments in time where he had been himself and had been happy. He had almost convinced himself that when Kadi died that fun-loving, old self of his died along with her. All that he was left with now was a shell of who he was, and he hated the Emo fucking thoughts that kept bouncing around in his head.

So many things were bothering him, and he wondered just how much work Billie was wanting to cover today. He was a downright slave-driver at times, and right now Tre really wasn't in the mood. He could think of a lot of things that he would like to do right now, such as getting cozy with his two best friends, Jim and Jack. Captain Morgan could come along for the ride, too, and together they could go catch some Wild Turkey and have an Absolut-ly wonderful time forgetting everything together. And if Tre wasn't too busy puking up his guts, they could go to the Canadian Windsor and chill with Bacardi and Tequila Sunrise until Tre was twitching on the floor in a pile of his own puke...

...and of course, none of these great aspirations bore in mind the need to sit behind a drum set and get ripped a new one all day by Billie.