Story Of My Life, chapter 1
Another day in the slums of Berkeley. Another day at my shitty job. What made my job shitty you ask? I worked in a 50's diner. We had to wear roller skates and pranced around in poodle skirts. Despite the fact all I did was bus tables and every once in a while take a table when the waitress's were busy. I digged the music though. I was wiping up a ketchup mess on table 5 that a little rug rat had left behind.
"Sam, dear can you please go take table 23B I'm swamped," said Debbie who was caring a heavy trey looking as if she was about to collapse if anyone did as much as poke her. I looked at the back table. It consisted of kid's from school that I despised and they despised me too. It was that typical movie crap where I used to be best friends with the popular girl back in the day when we were ankle biters, and when what people thought of us meant nothing. She moved to LA because "father" got rich, then moved back a few years ago. When she got back I don't know what happened. She always pretended she was more superior then us all. If she was that great she wouldn't be in Berkeley.
"Uh can't Candy do it?"
"Please Sam."
"Okay," I said dragging myself to the table trying to keep my temper down, because I knew it was going to explode. If I thought school was bad this was going to be hell. They always caused mayhem when they came, every time almost resulted in me getting fired, so I had to be on my best behavior. Right when I got to the table they broke out with
"Oh Look it's Diner Girl on skates." said Nicole. Ex-best friend. The other's roared in laughter, but whatever I didn't really care. At least I had a job, for now that was.
"What can I get you guys?" I breathed out.
"I'll take an iced tea," said Nicole.
"Same," said her boyfriend Nick. The other two people with them said they were fine.
So far so good right? I went behind the counter filled two cups with ice and filled them with Iced Tea and slipped a lemon on the cup. When I returned the real fun began.
"What the fuck there's something floating on it," she yelled. I took a look.
"It's a seed from the lemon," I snapped back at her.
"I never said I wanted lemon take it back," she said as she slid the glass across the table almost knocking it over. Nick was already drinking his so fuck him if he wanted something. I rolled my eyes and took the glass.
"She is so not getting a tip," Nicole said.
I went to skate away when I tripped over something, a foot in fact. The drink went all over me. All I could hear was their laughter. I could feel the rage just building up in me like a ton of bricks about to fall at any second or thermometer that is about to explode from such heat. I let it go, until I felt a big clunk on my head from a glass of iced tea that "fell" off the table. I'd reached my wits end there was no more peace in my body, just frustration. I got up.
"What the fuck is your problem?!" I screamed.
"You," she said.
"What the fuck did I ever do you?!" I yelled again. By this time customer's were looking, but I didn't care.
"You're just scum and that's all you'll ever be. Just like your mom. Did she ever get out of rehab by the way?"
The next thing I knew I was grabbing her hair and punching her in the face as much as I could. I didn't care about anything I just wanted to hurt the bitch as much as I could. I took all force I had into my fist.
"Sam! Sam! Get off of her," I heard a familiar voice say. I voice that I dreaded. It was John's voice in fact. John was my boss. I felt him grab the back of my shirt as he pulled me off of her as she made a scene of mass chaos saying that my ass better get fired.
"Sam get out." he said calmly which freaked me the fuck out, he was such a damn hippie.
"John please I promise it will never happen again I'll work in back or something." I pleaded.
"You're right it won't ever happen because your fired! I've given you chance after chance after chance and you blew them. Just leave!" he yelled. So much for peace.
I did as I was told. I went in back and put my normal clothes back on. I folded my uniform and left it in my almost empty locker. I took my notebook with that I wrote in. I took the back way out. I couldn't face John again. I knew I deserved to be fired, but I needed the money for the one thing that I actual put my whole life into, the one thing that mattered. Music. Now all I am is a deadbeat stuck to the ground. I was the front women for a trio band called The She He He's.
I felt the frisk air whip me in the face as the breeze from the bay was at it's best. I could barely make out the time from the UC Berkeley clock tower. It looked like it read quarter till midnight. I decided to start walking to the BART station to get home, I was beat and I had school tomorrow. I had a moutain of homework, but who the fuck cared I was flunking anyway.
I walked as thoughts consumed my mind. Why did I feel like such a waste to society lately? What did I actually have going for me in life? I mean what's my purpose? Why the fuck is it every time I think shit goes good it hits the fan and all I have is a pile of shit and I feel like I am the pile of shit? Now I'm not making any sense, but whatever. I really wish I could have a day where I didn't feel like a waste to society, a day where I wasn't confused, a day where I felt like I belonged on this earth and what my purpose even was.
After about 10 minutes of walking I reached the BART station. I reached in my pocket to get my ticket out, when of course it was gone. I love how my days get better and better. I looked everywhere in all my pockets, it was gone. The dumbass I am I probably left it at the Diner. There was no way I was going to go back and retrieve it and have to face John and everyone again. What was I suupose to do? I had no money. I had purchased a ticket that had enough to get me to and from work. The only thing I could think to do was to search around for change and see if it would all add up eventually. I looked in all the money and ticket dispensers. I found a few coins in two machines which got me to a raging 45 cents. I looked on the ground for anything. I looked in every nook and crannie in that station. I even went in the women's restroom to see if I could rob the tampon machine, but some bastard beat me to it I guess, because it was already broken into. Cheapskate took all the tampons too. I decided to go out side the station and look in near by pay phones and on the ground. In the end, I had a grand total of $2.83. Once again I was a deadbeat stuck to the ground.
I couldn't think what else to do. I walked back in the station to do one last check for coins, when I saw the guards where switching shifts. They weren't paying attention the only thing they had their focus on was the Oakland Raiders game last night. I didn't care I would jump the turn stop. How else could things get worse. I could careless if they caught me. Hey free ride home and in the back of a cop car. Woot! I just casually walked up and crawled beneath it and then darted down the stairs to wait for the train which was just approaching as I got there. A sigh of relief. One good thing happened, I didn't get caught. I continued with my previous thoughts of when I was walking to the BART station. 20 minutes later I reached my stop and took the 5 minutes to reach my house mom should have been home for a little while now, more fun.
I walked in and felt the comfort of heat. It was fall in the bay area which meant coldness, actually no matter what season it was it was cold. I didn't mind though I like the cold. I walked in and passed the kitchen where my mom was residing sipping a cup of tea. I decided to join her, even though I knew I'd regret it. Every time mom and I tried to interact it resulted in an argument and I returned my title as the bitter nasty teenager.
I sat down and watched her blow the tea which caused steam to dance across the air.
"How was your day?" she asked taking a sip.
"Had better," I said shrugging my shoulders.
"What do you mean?" she asked. I hated when she asked that. If I told her I didn't want to talk about it she would bother me until I spilled my guts or she would play the "We never talk anymore" card.
"Let's just say I don't have a job anymore," I said apathetically.
"What do you mean you don't have a job anymore?!"
"Uh I got... erm fired."
"Sam," she said in a disappointed way. There was a few second pause when she started up again with "What did you do this time? I told you this would happen if you didn't straighten up." Of course the slagging Sam down was to begin.
"Don't worry about it."
"What do you mean don't worry about it. I want to know," she snapped right away.
"Mom just leave it I'll tell you later," I said in a 'leave me the fuck alone your getting on my last nerve' kind of tone.
"Oh the school called today. You're flunking every class except Creative Writing and English," said Mom. She always pulls this shit. Now I'm going to feel more pathetic then I already did.
"Yeah about that...."
"Sam, what are you going to do with your life? Your in your senior year and your flunking. I mean think about it, you can't keep a job, your flunking. All you do is play in your little band, which is great, but it's about time and cracked down and got a real job. It's time to wake up and smell reality. Don't come crying to me when you can't get into college and you can't get a job because you flunked school. I'm not going to have the sympathy." she said her voice rising as we got deeper and deeper into the conversation.
"You see that guitar in my room mom? You see that notebook? That is my life mom. Doesn't that matter to you at all? Doesn't me being happy matter to you at all?" I yelled with the frustration dwelling through every vein in my body.
"Music isn't a career," she said slamming her fist on the table. "Your happiness is important to me, but is happiness to you going to be playing for spare change on Telegraph?" she asked "I just don't want you to become a reflection of what I was a few years ago."
"Mom I don't care if my future consists of me cleaning toilets at the bowling alley and then me playing music by night. I don't care what the future brings me as long as I have one, and it's one that I'm happy with. You just don't get it. You don't get me. For the record I won't land my ass in rehab like you did," I yelled getting out of the chair and beginning to walk out of the kitchen.
"We'll talk about this tomorrow it's getting late and you have school tomorrow. But, why don't you ever wear a little make-up, get your hair out of your face, wear some decent clothes. You wear that every week. You wonder why you haven't had many boyfriends ,and why that one guy you like won't talk to you, also why you don't have many friends. They're all probably embarrassed to be seen with you," she snarled.
"And you wonder why I'm the bitter nasty teenager I am," was what I left it with. My mom just fucking pissed me off. It seemed if I wasn't a reflection of what society, TV, peers, and the media says I sould live my life there is something undoubtfully wrong with me, and if I don't follow my future is just going to be a tragic case of my reality. I stormed out of the kitchen. She went to yell something, but I didn't care. I went in my room and slammed my door, which caused my Ramones poster to rip right off the wall and graciously float down to the floor. Fuck the poster.
I went to play whatever vinyl was on the turn table, but it didn't work because I had unpluged it so I could plug in my amp. Fuck the record player too. With the rage I had I would probably end up pulverizing the thing. It was kinda a bummer too because it was Social Distortion, which I could go for a listen of "Ball and Chain" or "Story of my Life"
I threw everything off my bed and onto the floor. I snuggled underneath my warm bed and grabbed my cassette player that resided on my night stand. I put on the head phones that would be the tool I needed to lead me into a world that no one could disturbe me or slag me down. A world of music. The world I felt I belonged. I put the headphones on and the it seemed the soundtrack of my life at the moment was in. It broke out with "I sit alone in my bedroom staring at the walls" It was a band that had a place in my heart deeply. They were the first band I saw at this club called 924 Gilman Street, a place where I did in fact felt like I belonged and others understood me. I was there every second I could volunteering, watching the shows, or just whatever. Green Day had just released a new record called Kerplunk few months prior.
I ended up dosing off with "2,000 Light Years Away" dwelling around in my head.
"Sam, dear can you please go take table 23B I'm swamped," said Debbie who was caring a heavy trey looking as if she was about to collapse if anyone did as much as poke her. I looked at the back table. It consisted of kid's from school that I despised and they despised me too. It was that typical movie crap where I used to be best friends with the popular girl back in the day when we were ankle biters, and when what people thought of us meant nothing. She moved to LA because "father" got rich, then moved back a few years ago. When she got back I don't know what happened. She always pretended she was more superior then us all. If she was that great she wouldn't be in Berkeley.
"Uh can't Candy do it?"
"Please Sam."
"Okay," I said dragging myself to the table trying to keep my temper down, because I knew it was going to explode. If I thought school was bad this was going to be hell. They always caused mayhem when they came, every time almost resulted in me getting fired, so I had to be on my best behavior. Right when I got to the table they broke out with
"Oh Look it's Diner Girl on skates." said Nicole. Ex-best friend. The other's roared in laughter, but whatever I didn't really care. At least I had a job, for now that was.
"What can I get you guys?" I breathed out.
"I'll take an iced tea," said Nicole.
"Same," said her boyfriend Nick. The other two people with them said they were fine.
So far so good right? I went behind the counter filled two cups with ice and filled them with Iced Tea and slipped a lemon on the cup. When I returned the real fun began.
"What the fuck there's something floating on it," she yelled. I took a look.
"It's a seed from the lemon," I snapped back at her.
"I never said I wanted lemon take it back," she said as she slid the glass across the table almost knocking it over. Nick was already drinking his so fuck him if he wanted something. I rolled my eyes and took the glass.
"She is so not getting a tip," Nicole said.
I went to skate away when I tripped over something, a foot in fact. The drink went all over me. All I could hear was their laughter. I could feel the rage just building up in me like a ton of bricks about to fall at any second or thermometer that is about to explode from such heat. I let it go, until I felt a big clunk on my head from a glass of iced tea that "fell" off the table. I'd reached my wits end there was no more peace in my body, just frustration. I got up.
"What the fuck is your problem?!" I screamed.
"You," she said.
"What the fuck did I ever do you?!" I yelled again. By this time customer's were looking, but I didn't care.
"You're just scum and that's all you'll ever be. Just like your mom. Did she ever get out of rehab by the way?"
The next thing I knew I was grabbing her hair and punching her in the face as much as I could. I didn't care about anything I just wanted to hurt the bitch as much as I could. I took all force I had into my fist.
"Sam! Sam! Get off of her," I heard a familiar voice say. I voice that I dreaded. It was John's voice in fact. John was my boss. I felt him grab the back of my shirt as he pulled me off of her as she made a scene of mass chaos saying that my ass better get fired.
"Sam get out." he said calmly which freaked me the fuck out, he was such a damn hippie.
"John please I promise it will never happen again I'll work in back or something." I pleaded.
"You're right it won't ever happen because your fired! I've given you chance after chance after chance and you blew them. Just leave!" he yelled. So much for peace.
I did as I was told. I went in back and put my normal clothes back on. I folded my uniform and left it in my almost empty locker. I took my notebook with that I wrote in. I took the back way out. I couldn't face John again. I knew I deserved to be fired, but I needed the money for the one thing that I actual put my whole life into, the one thing that mattered. Music. Now all I am is a deadbeat stuck to the ground. I was the front women for a trio band called The She He He's.
I felt the frisk air whip me in the face as the breeze from the bay was at it's best. I could barely make out the time from the UC Berkeley clock tower. It looked like it read quarter till midnight. I decided to start walking to the BART station to get home, I was beat and I had school tomorrow. I had a moutain of homework, but who the fuck cared I was flunking anyway.
I walked as thoughts consumed my mind. Why did I feel like such a waste to society lately? What did I actually have going for me in life? I mean what's my purpose? Why the fuck is it every time I think shit goes good it hits the fan and all I have is a pile of shit and I feel like I am the pile of shit? Now I'm not making any sense, but whatever. I really wish I could have a day where I didn't feel like a waste to society, a day where I wasn't confused, a day where I felt like I belonged on this earth and what my purpose even was.
After about 10 minutes of walking I reached the BART station. I reached in my pocket to get my ticket out, when of course it was gone. I love how my days get better and better. I looked everywhere in all my pockets, it was gone. The dumbass I am I probably left it at the Diner. There was no way I was going to go back and retrieve it and have to face John and everyone again. What was I suupose to do? I had no money. I had purchased a ticket that had enough to get me to and from work. The only thing I could think to do was to search around for change and see if it would all add up eventually. I looked in all the money and ticket dispensers. I found a few coins in two machines which got me to a raging 45 cents. I looked on the ground for anything. I looked in every nook and crannie in that station. I even went in the women's restroom to see if I could rob the tampon machine, but some bastard beat me to it I guess, because it was already broken into. Cheapskate took all the tampons too. I decided to go out side the station and look in near by pay phones and on the ground. In the end, I had a grand total of $2.83. Once again I was a deadbeat stuck to the ground.
I couldn't think what else to do. I walked back in the station to do one last check for coins, when I saw the guards where switching shifts. They weren't paying attention the only thing they had their focus on was the Oakland Raiders game last night. I didn't care I would jump the turn stop. How else could things get worse. I could careless if they caught me. Hey free ride home and in the back of a cop car. Woot! I just casually walked up and crawled beneath it and then darted down the stairs to wait for the train which was just approaching as I got there. A sigh of relief. One good thing happened, I didn't get caught. I continued with my previous thoughts of when I was walking to the BART station. 20 minutes later I reached my stop and took the 5 minutes to reach my house mom should have been home for a little while now, more fun.
I walked in and felt the comfort of heat. It was fall in the bay area which meant coldness, actually no matter what season it was it was cold. I didn't mind though I like the cold. I walked in and passed the kitchen where my mom was residing sipping a cup of tea. I decided to join her, even though I knew I'd regret it. Every time mom and I tried to interact it resulted in an argument and I returned my title as the bitter nasty teenager.
I sat down and watched her blow the tea which caused steam to dance across the air.
"How was your day?" she asked taking a sip.
"Had better," I said shrugging my shoulders.
"What do you mean?" she asked. I hated when she asked that. If I told her I didn't want to talk about it she would bother me until I spilled my guts or she would play the "We never talk anymore" card.
"Let's just say I don't have a job anymore," I said apathetically.
"What do you mean you don't have a job anymore?!"
"Uh I got... erm fired."
"Sam," she said in a disappointed way. There was a few second pause when she started up again with "What did you do this time? I told you this would happen if you didn't straighten up." Of course the slagging Sam down was to begin.
"Don't worry about it."
"What do you mean don't worry about it. I want to know," she snapped right away.
"Mom just leave it I'll tell you later," I said in a 'leave me the fuck alone your getting on my last nerve' kind of tone.
"Oh the school called today. You're flunking every class except Creative Writing and English," said Mom. She always pulls this shit. Now I'm going to feel more pathetic then I already did.
"Yeah about that...."
"Sam, what are you going to do with your life? Your in your senior year and your flunking. I mean think about it, you can't keep a job, your flunking. All you do is play in your little band, which is great, but it's about time and cracked down and got a real job. It's time to wake up and smell reality. Don't come crying to me when you can't get into college and you can't get a job because you flunked school. I'm not going to have the sympathy." she said her voice rising as we got deeper and deeper into the conversation.
"You see that guitar in my room mom? You see that notebook? That is my life mom. Doesn't that matter to you at all? Doesn't me being happy matter to you at all?" I yelled with the frustration dwelling through every vein in my body.
"Music isn't a career," she said slamming her fist on the table. "Your happiness is important to me, but is happiness to you going to be playing for spare change on Telegraph?" she asked "I just don't want you to become a reflection of what I was a few years ago."
"Mom I don't care if my future consists of me cleaning toilets at the bowling alley and then me playing music by night. I don't care what the future brings me as long as I have one, and it's one that I'm happy with. You just don't get it. You don't get me. For the record I won't land my ass in rehab like you did," I yelled getting out of the chair and beginning to walk out of the kitchen.
"We'll talk about this tomorrow it's getting late and you have school tomorrow. But, why don't you ever wear a little make-up, get your hair out of your face, wear some decent clothes. You wear that every week. You wonder why you haven't had many boyfriends ,and why that one guy you like won't talk to you, also why you don't have many friends. They're all probably embarrassed to be seen with you," she snarled.
"And you wonder why I'm the bitter nasty teenager I am," was what I left it with. My mom just fucking pissed me off. It seemed if I wasn't a reflection of what society, TV, peers, and the media says I sould live my life there is something undoubtfully wrong with me, and if I don't follow my future is just going to be a tragic case of my reality. I stormed out of the kitchen. She went to yell something, but I didn't care. I went in my room and slammed my door, which caused my Ramones poster to rip right off the wall and graciously float down to the floor. Fuck the poster.
I went to play whatever vinyl was on the turn table, but it didn't work because I had unpluged it so I could plug in my amp. Fuck the record player too. With the rage I had I would probably end up pulverizing the thing. It was kinda a bummer too because it was Social Distortion, which I could go for a listen of "Ball and Chain" or "Story of my Life"
I threw everything off my bed and onto the floor. I snuggled underneath my warm bed and grabbed my cassette player that resided on my night stand. I put on the head phones that would be the tool I needed to lead me into a world that no one could disturbe me or slag me down. A world of music. The world I felt I belonged. I put the headphones on and the it seemed the soundtrack of my life at the moment was in. It broke out with "I sit alone in my bedroom staring at the walls" It was a band that had a place in my heart deeply. They were the first band I saw at this club called 924 Gilman Street, a place where I did in fact felt like I belonged and others understood me. I was there every second I could volunteering, watching the shows, or just whatever. Green Day had just released a new record called Kerplunk few months prior.
I ended up dosing off with "2,000 Light Years Away" dwelling around in my head.
