It's Raining All The Time, chapter 1
It's raining all the time; it's raining all the time, I sang along to the song by Kill Hannah. I walked down the long hallway of the cold hospital. It was a cold fall day in New York. I was visiting my best friend who has cancer. As I was walking down the hallway I heard crying of kids. The place made me feel like shit. 22 and still living with her grand mom. Yeah I know pathetic. My friends and I had plans of leaving Staten Island. To move somewhere. But it never happened after High School we... well I found out my best friend has cancer and I didn't want to leave him so I stayed behind. They went and I stayed here to make sure he wasn't lonely and he died alone so I stayed behind.
I got to his room. There I saw him. He looked dead. So pale the light from the morning sun hitting his face. It's like a flower seed plant them now and then they'll grow in spring into a rose. But he'll never be able to grow into a rose he'll just be a seed in the ground. I got tears in my eyes. I walked up to him I placed my hand in his and I sat down and just took in everything. I remember when we were just 12 and we would walk to school and we would plan our future road trip and our life's. Now look were both 22 and he's dieing and I'm next to him crying. He didn't speak he just wiped away all my tears that were falling down and smiling at me.
I remember when I was 14 and when I found out my mom and dad died. He was there for me hugging me telling me everything will be fine and when were older we'll marry and have kids and get a big house. That night I had my first kiss and it was with him. I finally stopped crying and I looked into his light brown eyes. I hugged him so tight I never wanted to let go. I didn't want him to die on me. I needed him he's my shining light to glow in the dark to help me find the way.
"Matt?" I tried to speak but I couldn't.
"Yes?" He said
"You know I love you right? And know matter if you die I'm never going to love someone as much as I love you," I said looking into his eyes. I saw tears start to fall from his eyes. He started to shake his head yes.
"Yeah I know you love me and I love you so much it hurts me," He said kissing my lips.
"Matt, I don't want you to die on me, you can't die! I need you so much!" I said hugging him crying on his shoulder.
"I know Jess," He said holding onto me. Then he pulled me up on to the bed so I was next to him.
I felt safe in his arms.
"I don't want to lose you," I said looking down.
"Jess, it hurts to breathe," He said lying down. I heard the heart thing start to go off.
"NOOOO MATT!!! DON'T GO MATT!!!!"I cried holding on to him trying to wake him up.
"Matt...Please wake up. I need you.. Please," I cried I gave him the last kiss right on the lips. Then a doctor came in a pushed me in the hallway. I saw a little girl looking at me. She looked like she was 7.She walked up to me.
"Miss, why are you crying?" She said looking up at me.
"I'm crying because my friend is dieing in there," I said pointing at the room behind me.
"Oh, well I hope your friend is okay," She said and skipped down the hallway. The doctor came out of the room. He looked upset. I knew something happened.
"I'm sorry but he didn't make it," He said, putting his hand on my shoulder. I slid down the wall tears pouring out of my eyes. I didn't want to believe him. But it was real. The little girl came back I saw her face and she was holding someone's hand I looked up and there stood Matt and the girl. They both smiled at me. I went to reach out to touch him but they disappeared. I started to cry more.
I got up and walked out. I wanted for the x bus to come and I got on. I headed home. I don't even call it that no more what is there to home to. Grand mom is always watching TV and it's like I'm the only one. Now I have no friends here the others are somewhere else happy.
-Couple of day's Later-
I looked out the window Rain. Since he died it's been raining for the past 2 days. I was on my way to the graveyard. He was going to be buried. I got to the graveyard. The graveyard my whole family is buried in. I started walking down I pasted the lake Matt and I would hang out. I got to where he was going to be buried. A foot away from were Matt was going to be buried was my mother and father. I stood not making a move through the whole thing. I didn't want to move. I saw him go down under.6 feet under me.
It was over I went back to my car and I sat in it watching the rain fall. I took out my phone I called my friend Syn. Matt, Syn, and I were all close. I called her up and told her. She started to cry on the phone I didn't cry I didn't feel anything. I said goodbye and I drove home.
-Home-
"Grand mom, I'm moving," I said packing things.
"Why sweetheart?" She said
"Because I can't stay here I'll call my sister and she'll stay here with you," I said kissing her on the cheek.
"Okay, but where are you going?"
"I don't know now but I'll find a place," I said kissing her goodbye with my bag.
"Bye now be safe!" She said kissing my cheek.
"Bye grand mom," I said leaving.
-Airport-
I got a ticket to California...I'm going there because it's the place Matt and I wanted to go our whole life. While I was packing there was a note so I packed it. I don't know what it is but Matt was talking about some note he gave me. Maybe that's the note. I got on the plane and sat in my seat. My seat was on the outside so I got hit with a bag and the guy turned around and looked at me.
"Hello fag! You just fucking hit me with your damn bag!" I said holding my nose where he hit me.
"I'm so sorry!!" He said. Then I got a better look at him. He looked like Matt. But he had green eyes instead of brown.
"Never mind forget," I said looking the other way. I didn't want to think about Matt. I'll start to cry.
"What's wrong" He said taking his seat next to me. Great, he's next to me now!
"Just you look like my friend Matt," I said looking down
"Ok, and your upset why?" He said looking at me.
"Just he died 2 days ago from cancer and I was there with him when he died" I said a tear fell I wiped it away.
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, my dad died from cancer too," He said also looking down.
"Wow. Sorry to hear that, I lost both my parents, they got shot both in the head on the way home from there jobs in New York City," I said playing around with the ring Matt gave me 3 years ago.
"Wow that really suck's," He said
"So anyway what's your name?" I said looking at him.
"Billie Joe, but you can call me Billie," He said sticking his hand out for me to shake.
"Jessica, but you can call me Jess," I said shaking his hand.
"So do you live here?" He asked
"Yeah Staten Island really," I said
"Cool, I live in California," He said
"Awesome, so how old are you?" I asked
"24," He said looking at me.
"Oh, I'm 22," I said smiling at him.
"You have nice smile and eyes," He said looking at me smiling back.
"Thanks you too," I laughed. He laughed too.
"Well now I'm going to listen to music," I said taking out my Cd player. I put on Emanuel "Breathe Underwater."
Look in the mirror.
What are you searching for?
To disappear or,
Accelerate...
Our lives to their ends.
I came to and found myself behind the wheel.
Pilot in artificial flight.
We sigh and sink into the river bed,
Stay asleep.
My friends can't breathe underwater I guess,
they have weak lungs.
Black cuts herself so that you could fall in,
this is heaven.
Alone in her dark room,
I slip through the open door.
Pull off my wet clothes,
to climb inside...
Her life,
is still warm.
I've got my finger on the trigger oh,
Heartbeats are effervescent life,
We sigh and sink into the river bed,
Stay asleep.
My friends can't breathe underwater I guess,
they have weak lungs.
Black cuts herself so that you could fall in,
this is heaven.
My friends can't breathe underwater I guess,
they have weak lungs.
Black cuts herself so that you could fall in,
this is heaven.
They only stab me in the back now anyway.
I'll put you out of your cell and your misery.
I'm gonna tear, I'm gonna rip it out.
My friends can't breathe underwater I guess,
They have weak lungs.
Black cuts herself so that you could fall in,
This is heaven.
My friends can't breathe underwater I guess,
they have weak lungs.
Black cuts herself so that you could fall in,
this is heaven.
This is heaven.
This is heaven.
This is heaven.
This is heaven.
I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked to my left and I saw Billie Joe smiling.
"You have a nice voice," He said laughing a little. I blushed.
"Thanks," I said looking down blushing more.
"So where are you staying?" He asked
"I don't know but I'll find a place," I said looking at all the people on the plane.
"Well you can stay with me and my band mates," He said.
"No, it's fine."
"No, it's alright besides my band mates will like you" He said looking into my eyes. I looked into his. I got lost in his eyes. We got closer together and a lady bumped into me and my lips landed on his. I was so shocked. I pulled away fast.
"I'm so sorry!" I said panicking.
"It's fine," He said blushing. Wait why is he blushing? My cheeks started to turn red. Why am I blushing?
Am I falling for this guy? He put his hand on my cheek and put his lips on mine.I wanted to pull away but I couldn't it felt so right. We pulled away. I started to blush.
"I--" He tried to say but I stopped him by kissing him again. I closed my eyes and the kiss got deeper until I felt a tap on my shoulder I turned around and there was a lady looking mad.
"This isn't kissing booth, go somewhere else and make out," She said and walked off.
"Jeeze" I said laughing. Billie Joe started to laugh at her.
"So are you going to stay at my place? And don't worry you won't be the only girl Mike has a girlfriend who also lives with us, her name is Hazel," He said
"Is she nice?" I asked
"Yeah, and hyper," He added
"Ok, I don't mind at least she's nice," I said.
The plane was going to land so we started to get ready. The plane landed and we were walking into the airport looking for Mike and Hazel. I saw a girl jumping up and down singing the song "Stupid Motherfucker" by Mindless Self Indulgence.
Is it simple enough for you?
Does everybody understand? Are you all still following me?
Is it simple enough for you?
Does everybody understand? Are you all still following me?
Is it simple enough for you?
Does everybody understand? Are you all still following me?
Is it simple enough for you?
Does everybody understand? Are you all still following me?
Should I talk slower like you're a retard
Should I talk slower like you're retarded
Yo they think you're dumb
I think you're smart
No, wait, I lied
I think you're dumb
They think you're dumb
I think you're smart
No, wait, I lied
I think you're dumb
Get it
Get it
Get it
You just don't get it
Get it
Get it
Get it
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfuck
Is it simple enough for you?
Does everybody understand? Are you all still following me?
Is it simple enough for you?
Does everybody understand? Are you all still following me?
Is it simple enough for you?
Does everybody understand? Are you all still following me?
Is it simple enough for you?
Does everybody understand? Are you all still following me?
Should I talk slower like you're a retard?
Should I talk slower like you're retarded?
Yo, they think you're dumb
I think you're smart
No, wait, I lied
I think you're dumb
They think you're dumb
I think you're smart
No, wait, I lied
I think you're dumb
Get it?
Get it?
Get it?
You just don't get it!!!
Get it?
Get it?
Get it?
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfuck
It's under your nose
It's under your nose
It's under your nose
It's under your nose
It's over your head
It's over your head
It's over your head
It's over your head
It's out of your reach
It's out of your reach
It's out of your reach
It's out of your reach
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfuck
Nana
Nana
Nana
Nanananana
Nana
Nana
Nana
Nanananana
Nana
Nana
Nana
Nanananana
Nana
Nana
Nana
Nanananana
She ran up to some old lady and was singing to her. But the old lady hit her with her bag and ran away. I was laughing so hard tears were coming out of my eyes.
"HI!!!!!!!!!! I'm H-A-Z-E-L," She said rubbing her head where the lady hit her.
"I know who you are," I said
"OMG!!! THIS GIRL IS A STALKER! Help me Mike!!!" She said and hid behind Mike.
"Hi Mike," I said shaking hands with him.
"Hi, how do you know Billie," He said, then pointed at Billie.
"I met him on the plane," I said
"Oh and I'm Jess by the way," I also added in.
"Ohhhhh,well are you staying with us," He asked me
"Urmm-" I said but got cut off by Billie Joe
"Yeah, she'll stay with me," Billie said taking my hand and holding on.
"Sooooo Jess what kinds of music do you like?" Hazel asked me
"A lot I like The Ramones, Misfits, The Clash, The Dickies, The Dead Kennedys, Black Flag, Queen," I said
"Oh my god! You like Queen!!!!
HOLY SHIT IM OBSESSED WITH THEM!!! OMG I LOVE YOU!!!!" She said hugging me tightly.
"Ok Hazel off of Jess she needs to breath," Billie said taking hazel off of me.
"I have a feeling you and me are going to become best friends," Hazel said putting a hand on my shoulder. We all walked out of the airport with our bags into the hot sunny day.
I got to his room. There I saw him. He looked dead. So pale the light from the morning sun hitting his face. It's like a flower seed plant them now and then they'll grow in spring into a rose. But he'll never be able to grow into a rose he'll just be a seed in the ground. I got tears in my eyes. I walked up to him I placed my hand in his and I sat down and just took in everything. I remember when we were just 12 and we would walk to school and we would plan our future road trip and our life's. Now look were both 22 and he's dieing and I'm next to him crying. He didn't speak he just wiped away all my tears that were falling down and smiling at me.
I remember when I was 14 and when I found out my mom and dad died. He was there for me hugging me telling me everything will be fine and when were older we'll marry and have kids and get a big house. That night I had my first kiss and it was with him. I finally stopped crying and I looked into his light brown eyes. I hugged him so tight I never wanted to let go. I didn't want him to die on me. I needed him he's my shining light to glow in the dark to help me find the way.
"Matt?" I tried to speak but I couldn't.
"Yes?" He said
"You know I love you right? And know matter if you die I'm never going to love someone as much as I love you," I said looking into his eyes. I saw tears start to fall from his eyes. He started to shake his head yes.
"Yeah I know you love me and I love you so much it hurts me," He said kissing my lips.
"Matt, I don't want you to die on me, you can't die! I need you so much!" I said hugging him crying on his shoulder.
"I know Jess," He said holding onto me. Then he pulled me up on to the bed so I was next to him.
I felt safe in his arms.
"I don't want to lose you," I said looking down.
"Jess, it hurts to breathe," He said lying down. I heard the heart thing start to go off.
"NOOOO MATT!!! DON'T GO MATT!!!!"I cried holding on to him trying to wake him up.
"Matt...Please wake up. I need you.. Please," I cried I gave him the last kiss right on the lips. Then a doctor came in a pushed me in the hallway. I saw a little girl looking at me. She looked like she was 7.She walked up to me.
"Miss, why are you crying?" She said looking up at me.
"I'm crying because my friend is dieing in there," I said pointing at the room behind me.
"Oh, well I hope your friend is okay," She said and skipped down the hallway. The doctor came out of the room. He looked upset. I knew something happened.
"I'm sorry but he didn't make it," He said, putting his hand on my shoulder. I slid down the wall tears pouring out of my eyes. I didn't want to believe him. But it was real. The little girl came back I saw her face and she was holding someone's hand I looked up and there stood Matt and the girl. They both smiled at me. I went to reach out to touch him but they disappeared. I started to cry more.
I got up and walked out. I wanted for the x bus to come and I got on. I headed home. I don't even call it that no more what is there to home to. Grand mom is always watching TV and it's like I'm the only one. Now I have no friends here the others are somewhere else happy.
-Couple of day's Later-
I looked out the window Rain. Since he died it's been raining for the past 2 days. I was on my way to the graveyard. He was going to be buried. I got to the graveyard. The graveyard my whole family is buried in. I started walking down I pasted the lake Matt and I would hang out. I got to where he was going to be buried. A foot away from were Matt was going to be buried was my mother and father. I stood not making a move through the whole thing. I didn't want to move. I saw him go down under.6 feet under me.
It was over I went back to my car and I sat in it watching the rain fall. I took out my phone I called my friend Syn. Matt, Syn, and I were all close. I called her up and told her. She started to cry on the phone I didn't cry I didn't feel anything. I said goodbye and I drove home.
-Home-
"Grand mom, I'm moving," I said packing things.
"Why sweetheart?" She said
"Because I can't stay here I'll call my sister and she'll stay here with you," I said kissing her on the cheek.
"Okay, but where are you going?"
"I don't know now but I'll find a place," I said kissing her goodbye with my bag.
"Bye now be safe!" She said kissing my cheek.
"Bye grand mom," I said leaving.
-Airport-
I got a ticket to California...I'm going there because it's the place Matt and I wanted to go our whole life. While I was packing there was a note so I packed it. I don't know what it is but Matt was talking about some note he gave me. Maybe that's the note. I got on the plane and sat in my seat. My seat was on the outside so I got hit with a bag and the guy turned around and looked at me.
"Hello fag! You just fucking hit me with your damn bag!" I said holding my nose where he hit me.
"I'm so sorry!!" He said. Then I got a better look at him. He looked like Matt. But he had green eyes instead of brown.
"Never mind forget," I said looking the other way. I didn't want to think about Matt. I'll start to cry.
"What's wrong" He said taking his seat next to me. Great, he's next to me now!
"Just you look like my friend Matt," I said looking down
"Ok, and your upset why?" He said looking at me.
"Just he died 2 days ago from cancer and I was there with him when he died" I said a tear fell I wiped it away.
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, my dad died from cancer too," He said also looking down.
"Wow. Sorry to hear that, I lost both my parents, they got shot both in the head on the way home from there jobs in New York City," I said playing around with the ring Matt gave me 3 years ago.
"Wow that really suck's," He said
"So anyway what's your name?" I said looking at him.
"Billie Joe, but you can call me Billie," He said sticking his hand out for me to shake.
"Jessica, but you can call me Jess," I said shaking his hand.
"So do you live here?" He asked
"Yeah Staten Island really," I said
"Cool, I live in California," He said
"Awesome, so how old are you?" I asked
"24," He said looking at me.
"Oh, I'm 22," I said smiling at him.
"You have nice smile and eyes," He said looking at me smiling back.
"Thanks you too," I laughed. He laughed too.
"Well now I'm going to listen to music," I said taking out my Cd player. I put on Emanuel "Breathe Underwater."
Look in the mirror.
What are you searching for?
To disappear or,
Accelerate...
Our lives to their ends.
I came to and found myself behind the wheel.
Pilot in artificial flight.
We sigh and sink into the river bed,
Stay asleep.
My friends can't breathe underwater I guess,
they have weak lungs.
Black cuts herself so that you could fall in,
this is heaven.
Alone in her dark room,
I slip through the open door.
Pull off my wet clothes,
to climb inside...
Her life,
is still warm.
I've got my finger on the trigger oh,
Heartbeats are effervescent life,
We sigh and sink into the river bed,
Stay asleep.
My friends can't breathe underwater I guess,
they have weak lungs.
Black cuts herself so that you could fall in,
this is heaven.
My friends can't breathe underwater I guess,
they have weak lungs.
Black cuts herself so that you could fall in,
this is heaven.
They only stab me in the back now anyway.
I'll put you out of your cell and your misery.
I'm gonna tear, I'm gonna rip it out.
My friends can't breathe underwater I guess,
They have weak lungs.
Black cuts herself so that you could fall in,
This is heaven.
My friends can't breathe underwater I guess,
they have weak lungs.
Black cuts herself so that you could fall in,
this is heaven.
This is heaven.
This is heaven.
This is heaven.
This is heaven.
I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked to my left and I saw Billie Joe smiling.
"You have a nice voice," He said laughing a little. I blushed.
"Thanks," I said looking down blushing more.
"So where are you staying?" He asked
"I don't know but I'll find a place," I said looking at all the people on the plane.
"Well you can stay with me and my band mates," He said.
"No, it's fine."
"No, it's alright besides my band mates will like you" He said looking into my eyes. I looked into his. I got lost in his eyes. We got closer together and a lady bumped into me and my lips landed on his. I was so shocked. I pulled away fast.
"I'm so sorry!" I said panicking.
"It's fine," He said blushing. Wait why is he blushing? My cheeks started to turn red. Why am I blushing?
Am I falling for this guy? He put his hand on my cheek and put his lips on mine.I wanted to pull away but I couldn't it felt so right. We pulled away. I started to blush.
"I--" He tried to say but I stopped him by kissing him again. I closed my eyes and the kiss got deeper until I felt a tap on my shoulder I turned around and there was a lady looking mad.
"This isn't kissing booth, go somewhere else and make out," She said and walked off.
"Jeeze" I said laughing. Billie Joe started to laugh at her.
"So are you going to stay at my place? And don't worry you won't be the only girl Mike has a girlfriend who also lives with us, her name is Hazel," He said
"Is she nice?" I asked
"Yeah, and hyper," He added
"Ok, I don't mind at least she's nice," I said.
The plane was going to land so we started to get ready. The plane landed and we were walking into the airport looking for Mike and Hazel. I saw a girl jumping up and down singing the song "Stupid Motherfucker" by Mindless Self Indulgence.
Is it simple enough for you?
Does everybody understand? Are you all still following me?
Is it simple enough for you?
Does everybody understand? Are you all still following me?
Is it simple enough for you?
Does everybody understand? Are you all still following me?
Is it simple enough for you?
Does everybody understand? Are you all still following me?
Should I talk slower like you're a retard
Should I talk slower like you're retarded
Yo they think you're dumb
I think you're smart
No, wait, I lied
I think you're dumb
They think you're dumb
I think you're smart
No, wait, I lied
I think you're dumb
Get it
Get it
Get it
You just don't get it
Get it
Get it
Get it
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfuck
Is it simple enough for you?
Does everybody understand? Are you all still following me?
Is it simple enough for you?
Does everybody understand? Are you all still following me?
Is it simple enough for you?
Does everybody understand? Are you all still following me?
Is it simple enough for you?
Does everybody understand? Are you all still following me?
Should I talk slower like you're a retard?
Should I talk slower like you're retarded?
Yo, they think you're dumb
I think you're smart
No, wait, I lied
I think you're dumb
They think you're dumb
I think you're smart
No, wait, I lied
I think you're dumb
Get it?
Get it?
Get it?
You just don't get it!!!
Get it?
Get it?
Get it?
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfuck
It's under your nose
It's under your nose
It's under your nose
It's under your nose
It's over your head
It's over your head
It's over your head
It's over your head
It's out of your reach
It's out of your reach
It's out of your reach
It's out of your reach
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfuck
Nana
Nana
Nana
Nanananana
Nana
Nana
Nana
Nanananana
Nana
Nana
Nana
Nanananana
Nana
Nana
Nana
Nanananana
She ran up to some old lady and was singing to her. But the old lady hit her with her bag and ran away. I was laughing so hard tears were coming out of my eyes.
"HI!!!!!!!!!! I'm H-A-Z-E-L," She said rubbing her head where the lady hit her.
"I know who you are," I said
"OMG!!! THIS GIRL IS A STALKER! Help me Mike!!!" She said and hid behind Mike.
"Hi Mike," I said shaking hands with him.
"Hi, how do you know Billie," He said, then pointed at Billie.
"I met him on the plane," I said
"Oh and I'm Jess by the way," I also added in.
"Ohhhhh,well are you staying with us," He asked me
"Urmm-" I said but got cut off by Billie Joe
"Yeah, she'll stay with me," Billie said taking my hand and holding on.
"Sooooo Jess what kinds of music do you like?" Hazel asked me
"A lot I like The Ramones, Misfits, The Clash, The Dickies, The Dead Kennedys, Black Flag, Queen," I said
"Oh my god! You like Queen!!!!
HOLY SHIT IM OBSESSED WITH THEM!!! OMG I LOVE YOU!!!!" She said hugging me tightly.
"Ok Hazel off of Jess she needs to breath," Billie said taking hazel off of me.
"I have a feeling you and me are going to become best friends," Hazel said putting a hand on my shoulder. We all walked out of the airport with our bags into the hot sunny day.
