Real Vs. Make Believe, chapter 3
I leaned back against the bumper of the old car, looking over the cliff at the city spread out below us. Joey was on his back on the hood of the car, puffing on his cigarette like a little kid sucks on a lollipop. Slowly, he opened his mouth into an "O" shape and breathed out a ring of gray smoke. I watched as the puff dissolved into the night. Feeling daring (and I also wanted to break the awkward silence), I took the cigarette from his hand and took a drag myself.
That same grin spread over his face again. I lay on my back next to him. For some reason, I feel safe with him. Looking up at the twinkling stars, they bought back the memory. The memory that constantly came back, the one that I pushed away. I didn't want to remember, but it came too fast and I couldn't hold it back. Joey noticed, too. "Something's bothering you... " He keeps talking but I don't hear him. I dissolve into my own world, like the puff of smoke did only a minute ago...
**Flashback
I am only 5 years old. My small body practically sinks into the leather seat of the old Volvo. My older brother, Blake, who is 10, sits next to me, toying with me. He pokes my arm several times before I complain to my mother, who is in the passenger seat. She turns around and scolds Blake gently. Blake says "sorry" even though Mom didn't tell him to. I see a smile spread across Dad's face as he turns on the radio. Soft music plays in the background.
At that moment, I am happy. Happy just to be up past my normal bedtime. The world rushes by my window in a dark blur. The night sky is scattered with stars that shine like diamonds. Blake is looking at the stars, too. At the time, no one was on the long stretch of deserted highway except us.
Then, a white light blinds me, coming from the front of the car. It is another car's headlights. It is coming at us, fast. My mother's somewhat worried voice soon becomes a scream, though I cannot decipher the words she says. Dad attempts to turn the car, but he swerves the wrong way. The car is sideways, in the middle of the road, and the car is coming right for me and Blake.
Our car hits the guardrail lining the highway. Dad has already suffered a head injury and is barely conscious. The back half of the car is still sticking out in the middle of the highway. Though I am only a toddler, I can already see what is going to happen. Blake can see it too. Everything happens so fast, though it seems like slow motion. Mom tries to pull me and Blake from the back seat, saving her only two children from the vehicle coming at us.
Blake knows Mom will never get to us in time. The car is coming closer, closer, closer. I hear a blood-curdling scream, and it takes me a minute to realize it's my own. The car is about to hit us. I can already see the wreck happening two seconds from now. In a final attempt to save me, Blake throws his body over mine, protecting his little sister from the accident. His final words to me are, "Sis, if Death knocks on the door, let me answer it." The white light of the headlights blinded me.
And then it was black. **
"Ashley. Ashley?" Joey was sitting next to me, his hand on my shoulder. I shook my head, trying to rid of the memory, though it was too late. "Yeah. Sorry... " I mumbled. Joey looked purely concerned. "Looks like you just took a walk down memory lane," He laughed, trying to ease the tense atmosphere. I forced a smile.
He leaned back against the hood again. "So, you've been through one of those life-altering experiences, I guess?" He said. I sighed. "You could say that... " He looked up at the sky, studying it intently.
"What about you?" I asked. "What's happened in your life?" Other cars were near us, mostly filled with guys making out with girls. We were the only ones actually outside our car. He shrugged. "I was an 'accident'. You know—I wasn't planned. That's... about it, I guess." I knew the last part was a lie. Everyone has their own story. But I said nothing.
I considered telling him. Then again, I had barely met the guy, and almost no one knew my story. He practically read my mind. "You don't have to tell me," He said softly. I nodded, feeling the tears begin to build up like a wall waiting to collapse behind my eyes.
"Oh, shit. It's five to midnight!" Joey said suddenly. "Dad's gonna kill me if I don't get home... hey, you want to meet him?" He asked. I had totally forgotten—up until this point—that his dad was Billie Joe Armstrong! But I had to get home too, or my parents would go ballistic. They've been overly paranoid ever since the accident...
I shoved the thought away once more. "Sure," I said. He smiled and we got back into his Honda. On the way to his house, neither of us talked. But it wasn't an awkward silence, it was a silence that we let blanket us, because we wanted it there. We both wanted the silence.
That same grin spread over his face again. I lay on my back next to him. For some reason, I feel safe with him. Looking up at the twinkling stars, they bought back the memory. The memory that constantly came back, the one that I pushed away. I didn't want to remember, but it came too fast and I couldn't hold it back. Joey noticed, too. "Something's bothering you... " He keeps talking but I don't hear him. I dissolve into my own world, like the puff of smoke did only a minute ago...
**Flashback
I am only 5 years old. My small body practically sinks into the leather seat of the old Volvo. My older brother, Blake, who is 10, sits next to me, toying with me. He pokes my arm several times before I complain to my mother, who is in the passenger seat. She turns around and scolds Blake gently. Blake says "sorry" even though Mom didn't tell him to. I see a smile spread across Dad's face as he turns on the radio. Soft music plays in the background.
At that moment, I am happy. Happy just to be up past my normal bedtime. The world rushes by my window in a dark blur. The night sky is scattered with stars that shine like diamonds. Blake is looking at the stars, too. At the time, no one was on the long stretch of deserted highway except us.
Then, a white light blinds me, coming from the front of the car. It is another car's headlights. It is coming at us, fast. My mother's somewhat worried voice soon becomes a scream, though I cannot decipher the words she says. Dad attempts to turn the car, but he swerves the wrong way. The car is sideways, in the middle of the road, and the car is coming right for me and Blake.
Our car hits the guardrail lining the highway. Dad has already suffered a head injury and is barely conscious. The back half of the car is still sticking out in the middle of the highway. Though I am only a toddler, I can already see what is going to happen. Blake can see it too. Everything happens so fast, though it seems like slow motion. Mom tries to pull me and Blake from the back seat, saving her only two children from the vehicle coming at us.
Blake knows Mom will never get to us in time. The car is coming closer, closer, closer. I hear a blood-curdling scream, and it takes me a minute to realize it's my own. The car is about to hit us. I can already see the wreck happening two seconds from now. In a final attempt to save me, Blake throws his body over mine, protecting his little sister from the accident. His final words to me are, "Sis, if Death knocks on the door, let me answer it." The white light of the headlights blinded me.
And then it was black. **
"Ashley. Ashley?" Joey was sitting next to me, his hand on my shoulder. I shook my head, trying to rid of the memory, though it was too late. "Yeah. Sorry... " I mumbled. Joey looked purely concerned. "Looks like you just took a walk down memory lane," He laughed, trying to ease the tense atmosphere. I forced a smile.
He leaned back against the hood again. "So, you've been through one of those life-altering experiences, I guess?" He said. I sighed. "You could say that... " He looked up at the sky, studying it intently.
"What about you?" I asked. "What's happened in your life?" Other cars were near us, mostly filled with guys making out with girls. We were the only ones actually outside our car. He shrugged. "I was an 'accident'. You know—I wasn't planned. That's... about it, I guess." I knew the last part was a lie. Everyone has their own story. But I said nothing.
I considered telling him. Then again, I had barely met the guy, and almost no one knew my story. He practically read my mind. "You don't have to tell me," He said softly. I nodded, feeling the tears begin to build up like a wall waiting to collapse behind my eyes.
"Oh, shit. It's five to midnight!" Joey said suddenly. "Dad's gonna kill me if I don't get home... hey, you want to meet him?" He asked. I had totally forgotten—up until this point—that his dad was Billie Joe Armstrong! But I had to get home too, or my parents would go ballistic. They've been overly paranoid ever since the accident...
I shoved the thought away once more. "Sure," I said. He smiled and we got back into his Honda. On the way to his house, neither of us talked. But it wasn't an awkward silence, it was a silence that we let blanket us, because we wanted it there. We both wanted the silence.
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