Me, Mike, and Amnesia, chapter 7
It didn't occur to me until I crawled into bed and shut my eyes that I wouldn't be getting any sleep that night. Images kept flashing across the backs of my eyelids: Mike crying, Tre snapping at him, Billie Joe crying after calling four hospitals, Mike's face when we told him about his job. All four of us had been through a lot of shit, together and otherwise, but nothing we couldn't handle. This seemed different somehow, something that we couldn't understand, that was out of our control. Possible solutions, what we were going to do next, who was going to get us out of this, consumed my thoughts. I couldn't stop feeling so sorry for Mike, and my pity brought cold tears to my eyes. I wiped them away, hating how weak and helpless I felt. I stayed like that for hours, not knowing how much time was passing, just knowing that I felt like crap.
Finally, realizing my exhaustion, I dozed off just as slight rays of sunlight were shining through the gaps in the blinds of my window. I slept lightly and fitfully, and had a horrible dream. It was as if it were the next day. I got up and walked into the kitchen, where Mike was. "Hi Mike." I said. "I don't know who Mike is." he replied solemnly. Then blood started to stream out of his fingertips, but he didn't seem to notice. "I don't know who Mike is." he repeated. I screamed and ran back into my room, and slammed into my bed. The force of falling into bed in my dream woke me up suddenly. My eyes flew open, and I was breathing heavily, terrified. It took me a second to realize that I was awake, that it had only been a dream. I glanced over at the clock. 9:30.
I got up slowly, wiping at my eyes, and coughed. I walked slowly into the kitchen, where Mike was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and staring out the window. He was obviously thinking deeply about something, and didn't hear me come in.
"Hey Mike." I whispered quietly. He started, and jerked his head around to look at me.
"Oh...hey Violet." he said distractedly.
"How are you doing?" I asked him, concerned.
"Oh...just wonderful." he scoffed sarcastically. "Want some coffee?"
"Thanks...I'll get it." I poured myself a cup and sat down next to him.
I put my hand on his arm. "Look...I know this is the shittiest situation we've ever been in, but we'll get through it, okay?"
This seemed to make him even more irritated. "I am so fucking sick of everyone walking on fucking eggshells around me! I wish someone would just tell me the truth, that there's no hope, there's nothing we can do, instead of fucking trying to make me feel better, because it's obviously not fucking working."
"Fine!" I said angrily. I couldn't believe he was acting like this to me, when I was just trying to help. "You want me to tell you the truth? Hmm? You want me to tell you what I think?" My words grew more heated as I went on. "I don't know what to do, I don't know what's going to happen, I'm more scared than I've ever been in my life! I am trying SO hard to hope, to know that we're going to get you help, but it doesn't look good, okay? And I don't want you to fall into this pessimistic attitude that I have, because..." I was crying now, again. "Because I care about you, Mike. You're...you're one of my best friends, and if you have to stay like this forever, I..." I couldn't think of what else to say.
"Really?" he asked.
"No." I replied jokingly. "I really just made all that up, but it sounded pretty good, didn't it?"
He laughed. "How can you joke at a time like this?"
I shrugged. "I don't know, I guess it just helps me...deal with things." I tried to change the subject. "Where is everybody?"
"Work." he said bitterly.
"Oh, come on. You WANT a job? You don't want to laze around the house with me?" I pretended to look hurt.
He smiled ruefully. "No, it's not that, it's just...I don't know."
"Okey dokey." I stood up. "I'm going to get dressed now, maybe after that we can take a walk?" I looked at him hopefully.
"I guess." he said reluctantly.
"Either that or you can stay here and mope and feel sorry for yourself."
"Well, when you put it like that."
I smiled. "Fantabulous. I'll be right back."
I quickly pulled on my purple shirt with the elves on it and jeans and rejoined Mike in the living room.
"Ready?" I asked him.
"Yeah."
We walked down the stairs to the door in silence. We stepped outside, and Mike squinted in the bright sunlight and sneezed.
I laughed. "It's always so funny when you do that."
"Do what?"
"Sneeze when it's sunny out."
"Do I...do that a lot?"
An icy chill went throught my heart. I could see this was never going to get any easier. "Yeah, all the time."
"Oh." He was silent for a moment. "What other things do I do?"
"Well..." I tried to think. "You do enjoy making fun of Billie Joe in front of other people."
He laughed. "Like the cauliflower thing?"
"Yeah, like that. But he never really gets mad, because you're his best friend, and he knows you're just joking."
"So...he's my best friend? What about Tre?"
"Yeah, you're all best friends, but you've known Billie Joe a lot longer."
"Really? How long?"
"Nine years."
"Shit...that's a long time."
"Yeah." This gave Mike something to think about, and he was quiet again.
I was searching for something to say, when I heard a shout behind me. "Violet!!!"
I turned and saw someone running toward me, too fast to see who it was, and it was only when she had succeeded in running into me and knocking me to the ground that I knew.
"Hey Karisa. You always know how to make an entrance."
"Damn straight." she replied, helping me up. Karisa had been one of my best friends in high school, and I had stayed at her house for a week right after my parents kicked me out.
"Hey Mikey-Wikey." she said to Mike. She knew him, and Tre, and Billie Joe, who she was not shy to admit she had a crush on.
"Um...hi." he replied warily. I shot him a look, as if to say, Don't say anything, I'll do all the talking. I didn't exactly want to explain his problem to anyone else right then.
"So...how've you been?" she asked me, with a look full of meaning.
"Really great." I replied. "The guys have been letting me stay with them."
"Oh!!" she gave me a suggestive look. "Staying in a house full of guys, are we?" She dropped her voice to a whisper. "How many times have you fucked them?"
I laughed, shocked. Typical Karisa. "None!! What kind of a whore do you think I am?"
"The regular kind. Anyway!!!" she began excitedly. "I'm really glad I ran into you!"
"Literally." I giggled.
"Yeah. I'm having a party tonight, at my house!! You should totally come! You can come too, Mikey-Wikey." she turned to Mike.
"Anyway," she continued. "I have to go, but I'll see you tonight."
"Um..okay." I noticed she hadn't even bothered to ask if I was going to be there, she just assumed.
"Bye, sweetheart!!" she called as she ran off. "Invite Tre! And DO NOT forget to bring your superhot friend Billie Joe!!!"
"He has a girlfriend!" I called after her for the millionth time.
"Not for long he won't!" came her usual reply.
I laughed and turned to Mike. "So, Mikey-Wikey. You up for a party?"
Finally, realizing my exhaustion, I dozed off just as slight rays of sunlight were shining through the gaps in the blinds of my window. I slept lightly and fitfully, and had a horrible dream. It was as if it were the next day. I got up and walked into the kitchen, where Mike was. "Hi Mike." I said. "I don't know who Mike is." he replied solemnly. Then blood started to stream out of his fingertips, but he didn't seem to notice. "I don't know who Mike is." he repeated. I screamed and ran back into my room, and slammed into my bed. The force of falling into bed in my dream woke me up suddenly. My eyes flew open, and I was breathing heavily, terrified. It took me a second to realize that I was awake, that it had only been a dream. I glanced over at the clock. 9:30.
I got up slowly, wiping at my eyes, and coughed. I walked slowly into the kitchen, where Mike was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and staring out the window. He was obviously thinking deeply about something, and didn't hear me come in.
"Hey Mike." I whispered quietly. He started, and jerked his head around to look at me.
"Oh...hey Violet." he said distractedly.
"How are you doing?" I asked him, concerned.
"Oh...just wonderful." he scoffed sarcastically. "Want some coffee?"
"Thanks...I'll get it." I poured myself a cup and sat down next to him.
I put my hand on his arm. "Look...I know this is the shittiest situation we've ever been in, but we'll get through it, okay?"
This seemed to make him even more irritated. "I am so fucking sick of everyone walking on fucking eggshells around me! I wish someone would just tell me the truth, that there's no hope, there's nothing we can do, instead of fucking trying to make me feel better, because it's obviously not fucking working."
"Fine!" I said angrily. I couldn't believe he was acting like this to me, when I was just trying to help. "You want me to tell you the truth? Hmm? You want me to tell you what I think?" My words grew more heated as I went on. "I don't know what to do, I don't know what's going to happen, I'm more scared than I've ever been in my life! I am trying SO hard to hope, to know that we're going to get you help, but it doesn't look good, okay? And I don't want you to fall into this pessimistic attitude that I have, because..." I was crying now, again. "Because I care about you, Mike. You're...you're one of my best friends, and if you have to stay like this forever, I..." I couldn't think of what else to say.
"Really?" he asked.
"No." I replied jokingly. "I really just made all that up, but it sounded pretty good, didn't it?"
He laughed. "How can you joke at a time like this?"
I shrugged. "I don't know, I guess it just helps me...deal with things." I tried to change the subject. "Where is everybody?"
"Work." he said bitterly.
"Oh, come on. You WANT a job? You don't want to laze around the house with me?" I pretended to look hurt.
He smiled ruefully. "No, it's not that, it's just...I don't know."
"Okey dokey." I stood up. "I'm going to get dressed now, maybe after that we can take a walk?" I looked at him hopefully.
"I guess." he said reluctantly.
"Either that or you can stay here and mope and feel sorry for yourself."
"Well, when you put it like that."
I smiled. "Fantabulous. I'll be right back."
I quickly pulled on my purple shirt with the elves on it and jeans and rejoined Mike in the living room.
"Ready?" I asked him.
"Yeah."
We walked down the stairs to the door in silence. We stepped outside, and Mike squinted in the bright sunlight and sneezed.
I laughed. "It's always so funny when you do that."
"Do what?"
"Sneeze when it's sunny out."
"Do I...do that a lot?"
An icy chill went throught my heart. I could see this was never going to get any easier. "Yeah, all the time."
"Oh." He was silent for a moment. "What other things do I do?"
"Well..." I tried to think. "You do enjoy making fun of Billie Joe in front of other people."
He laughed. "Like the cauliflower thing?"
"Yeah, like that. But he never really gets mad, because you're his best friend, and he knows you're just joking."
"So...he's my best friend? What about Tre?"
"Yeah, you're all best friends, but you've known Billie Joe a lot longer."
"Really? How long?"
"Nine years."
"Shit...that's a long time."
"Yeah." This gave Mike something to think about, and he was quiet again.
I was searching for something to say, when I heard a shout behind me. "Violet!!!"
I turned and saw someone running toward me, too fast to see who it was, and it was only when she had succeeded in running into me and knocking me to the ground that I knew.
"Hey Karisa. You always know how to make an entrance."
"Damn straight." she replied, helping me up. Karisa had been one of my best friends in high school, and I had stayed at her house for a week right after my parents kicked me out.
"Hey Mikey-Wikey." she said to Mike. She knew him, and Tre, and Billie Joe, who she was not shy to admit she had a crush on.
"Um...hi." he replied warily. I shot him a look, as if to say, Don't say anything, I'll do all the talking. I didn't exactly want to explain his problem to anyone else right then.
"So...how've you been?" she asked me, with a look full of meaning.
"Really great." I replied. "The guys have been letting me stay with them."
"Oh!!" she gave me a suggestive look. "Staying in a house full of guys, are we?" She dropped her voice to a whisper. "How many times have you fucked them?"
I laughed, shocked. Typical Karisa. "None!! What kind of a whore do you think I am?"
"The regular kind. Anyway!!!" she began excitedly. "I'm really glad I ran into you!"
"Literally." I giggled.
"Yeah. I'm having a party tonight, at my house!! You should totally come! You can come too, Mikey-Wikey." she turned to Mike.
"Anyway," she continued. "I have to go, but I'll see you tonight."
"Um..okay." I noticed she hadn't even bothered to ask if I was going to be there, she just assumed.
"Bye, sweetheart!!" she called as she ran off. "Invite Tre! And DO NOT forget to bring your superhot friend Billie Joe!!!"
"He has a girlfriend!" I called after her for the millionth time.
"Not for long he won't!" came her usual reply.
I laughed and turned to Mike. "So, Mikey-Wikey. You up for a party?"
