Are You Afraid Of The Dark?, chapter 12
"Come on Billie, we've gotta start tour tomorrow. You haven't left the hospital! Come on, she would have wanted you to play," Mike said.
"What d'you mean would have? Stop talking like she's fucking dead!"
"Sorry, just a slip of the tongue," Mike's eyes were wide with shock at his best friend's behaviour.
"Yeah, everyone's tongue seems to be slipping... "
"Look I'm sorry ok? It was a mistake! Dammit Billie I've got a lot more on my mind than what fucking tense I use when I'm talking to you!"
"Oh yeah, what have you got on your mind then?"
"I wanna make sure Jay's ok! I wanna make sure we don't disappoint thousands of fucking people by not turning up to our shows! I need to make sure Estelle's ok back home! You're not the only fucking one with problems dude!"
"I know I'm not but you don't fucking get it! If she doesn't wake up then I don't have the chance to tell her that I love her!"
"You what?"
"Fuck I did not say that."
"Yes you did Billie, you can't deny it. Do you really feel that way?"
"I... I thought I did... and now I just fucking come out and say it? Without any hesitation? But it's been what, alomst four weeks? But she's only been awake for five days of that. You can't fall in love with someone that quick. Can you?"
"You keep telling yourself that Bill... "
"I don't wanna leave her... "
"Billie, we'll be back in New York next week. You can come see her then, day after the show; we have a day off then."
"But that's a whole week away!"
"I know man, but do you want thousands of kids disappointed? Come on, look you could do something for her at the show. Dedicate a song to her."
"Yeah... I guess, but it still doesn't change the fact that I won't be here when she wakes up. She'll think I'm a bastard."
"Leave her a note Billie, it's not hard." Billie Joe looked at Jane for a few minutes before nodding reluctantly.
"I'll come."
"Well done Bill; knew you could do it."
"Yeah... " Billie Joe scrawled out a note and left it on Jane's bedside table. He picked his jacket up off the back of the chair and walked towards the door. "I'll see you soon Jay, I promise," he whispered, before heading out of the door and catching up with Mike.
"We wanna thank you all for coming out tonight! You've been a great audience!" The crowd cheered as Billie Joe started up the power chords to When I come Around.
As the song drew to a close Billie Joe looked over ot Mike who nodded encouragingly. "Ok, we're gonna do a cover of a song, it's... well it's for a good reason. You know what? Scratch that, it's for a great reason. So yeah, very... very good reason. This is for Jane." They started playing She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5. Billie Joe had been obsessing over that song for the last few weeks. He'd been so sure that that song would wake Jane up, it had to be that one, it was as if it were written about her. It was on an album called 'Songs about Jane', so it had to be a song about her. And it just seemed to just... pull everything together. 'Look for the girl with the broken smile?' Jane definitely had a broken smile, however hard she tried to hide it. 'I drove for miles and miles and wound up at your door?' he'd driven all the way from California and somehow, out of everyone in America, he ended up in her basement. Ok so he hadn't actually done the driving himself but what were the chances of him ending up there?
"Why Billie? Why that song?" Tré asked as the walked off the stage.
"Because it'll wake her up. It has to. It must have been written about her. There's no one else, just her."
"Bill music can't fix everything... " Mike said softly.
"Yeah but hope can," Billie Joe said icily. He didn't bother getting a drink out of the fridge in the dressing room, just grabbed his jacket and left the building to walk around the back streets of San Diego.
He finally sat down on a park bench and sighed. And as he realised what could happen, that she might not wake up, he put his head in his hands and tried not to cry.
"Jay! You're awake! You've had some of us quite worried!" a middle aged nurse walked into Jane's ward as she looked around wondering what in God's name she was doing there.
"How do you know my name? Why am I here?"
"I was speaking to Mr Armstrong, before he left."
"Oh, I can't say I blame him... "
"He left this on your night stand, with all the doctors bustling in and out of here I thought it might get lost, so I kept it in a safe place for you."
"Thank you," Jane said quietly as she took the note which was in the nurse's outstretched hand. "So what am I doing here?"
"Don't you remember?"
"Not really... " she shifted in her bed and clutched her side in pain. "Ok, now I might remember... "
"Well... it was your sister... she did it. And the guys came out ok. She's awaiting trial. They're on tour now. Billie Joe didn't want to go, Mike and Tré didn't either, but let me tell you this. He left your side only to go to the bathroom, which is just over there," she gestured to a small room attached to the ward, "oh and when he went to get you a small gift." The nurse walked over to the stereo and removed the CD, placing it carefully in its case before handing it to Jane.
Jane smiled as she turned the CD case over to look at the track list. "That's one hell of a guy you've got there Jay," the nurse said.
"I don't have him... "
"You have his heart."
"No, believe me, I don't, he... what's your name nurse?" she asked trying to avoid the subject. The nurse smiled and didn't push her any further.
"Gloria, Gloria Nimboku."
"Thank you Gloria."
"Would you like me to put the CD on for you? There's one track that he played over and over. I don't know if it means anything... " Jane nodded, curious as to which song he'd picked. When the song started up her hands thumped down into her lap. Gloria smiled, "I suggest you read that note, before the Doctor comes in, he should be here in a few minutes." She left the ward and Jane unfolded the note. She smiled at the scrawly black hand writing, with a fair few grammatical errors which made her smile grow. Imperfection was one of the most beautiful things on the earth in her eyes. Nobody's perfect, and things like this proved it every damn day.
Dear Jay,
I'm sorry I had to leave, tour started. I have no idea what to say. If you're reading this I may have already been and gone for the second time, but not likely if this is the only note. You'd think three weeks in a hospital ward would be boring, Jason came, he left you those flowers on the window sill
Jane looked over to the window sill and saw some daffodils sitting in a glass vase. Jason was so sweet. She returned to the letter.
Anyway, stop thinking about how sweet Jason is and read very carefully. I will be back to see you on the 23rd. We have a show on the 22nd at the Irving Plaza. So you know, make sure to be awake by the 23rd.
Look, I gotta go, I'm sorry,
Love BJ.
Jane played absentmindedly with her necklace. She had re-read the note four times by the time the Doctor came by. "Ah, I see you're awake. Good news, if everything's ok then you should be out tomorrow!"
"Wait, what's the date?"
"The 21st, of July. Now does it hurt anywhere?"
"Yeah, 'cause I kinda got shot in the stomach. You would expect to be a little sore after that." The Doctor smiled, clearly fond of sarcasm.
"Well if that's the only place you hurt then you should be able to leave tomorrow. We just have to keep you in over night, make sure you're ok, you know the sort of thing." Jane nodded. "Don't worry; I'm sure Gloria will tell him that you're home."
"How did you... "
"My dear he was in here every day and every night for three weeks always asking how long it'd be before you woke up. We all know his face around here... he practically lived here for three weeks." He smiled and walked out of the room.
"Three weeks?" Jane said to herself in surprise, "Three weeks... "
"What d'you mean would have? Stop talking like she's fucking dead!"
"Sorry, just a slip of the tongue," Mike's eyes were wide with shock at his best friend's behaviour.
"Yeah, everyone's tongue seems to be slipping... "
"Look I'm sorry ok? It was a mistake! Dammit Billie I've got a lot more on my mind than what fucking tense I use when I'm talking to you!"
"Oh yeah, what have you got on your mind then?"
"I wanna make sure Jay's ok! I wanna make sure we don't disappoint thousands of fucking people by not turning up to our shows! I need to make sure Estelle's ok back home! You're not the only fucking one with problems dude!"
"I know I'm not but you don't fucking get it! If she doesn't wake up then I don't have the chance to tell her that I love her!"
"You what?"
"Fuck I did not say that."
"Yes you did Billie, you can't deny it. Do you really feel that way?"
"I... I thought I did... and now I just fucking come out and say it? Without any hesitation? But it's been what, alomst four weeks? But she's only been awake for five days of that. You can't fall in love with someone that quick. Can you?"
"You keep telling yourself that Bill... "
"I don't wanna leave her... "
"Billie, we'll be back in New York next week. You can come see her then, day after the show; we have a day off then."
"But that's a whole week away!"
"I know man, but do you want thousands of kids disappointed? Come on, look you could do something for her at the show. Dedicate a song to her."
"Yeah... I guess, but it still doesn't change the fact that I won't be here when she wakes up. She'll think I'm a bastard."
"Leave her a note Billie, it's not hard." Billie Joe looked at Jane for a few minutes before nodding reluctantly.
"I'll come."
"Well done Bill; knew you could do it."
"Yeah... " Billie Joe scrawled out a note and left it on Jane's bedside table. He picked his jacket up off the back of the chair and walked towards the door. "I'll see you soon Jay, I promise," he whispered, before heading out of the door and catching up with Mike.
"We wanna thank you all for coming out tonight! You've been a great audience!" The crowd cheered as Billie Joe started up the power chords to When I come Around.
As the song drew to a close Billie Joe looked over ot Mike who nodded encouragingly. "Ok, we're gonna do a cover of a song, it's... well it's for a good reason. You know what? Scratch that, it's for a great reason. So yeah, very... very good reason. This is for Jane." They started playing She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5. Billie Joe had been obsessing over that song for the last few weeks. He'd been so sure that that song would wake Jane up, it had to be that one, it was as if it were written about her. It was on an album called 'Songs about Jane', so it had to be a song about her. And it just seemed to just... pull everything together. 'Look for the girl with the broken smile?' Jane definitely had a broken smile, however hard she tried to hide it. 'I drove for miles and miles and wound up at your door?' he'd driven all the way from California and somehow, out of everyone in America, he ended up in her basement. Ok so he hadn't actually done the driving himself but what were the chances of him ending up there?
"Why Billie? Why that song?" Tré asked as the walked off the stage.
"Because it'll wake her up. It has to. It must have been written about her. There's no one else, just her."
"Bill music can't fix everything... " Mike said softly.
"Yeah but hope can," Billie Joe said icily. He didn't bother getting a drink out of the fridge in the dressing room, just grabbed his jacket and left the building to walk around the back streets of San Diego.
He finally sat down on a park bench and sighed. And as he realised what could happen, that she might not wake up, he put his head in his hands and tried not to cry.
"Jay! You're awake! You've had some of us quite worried!" a middle aged nurse walked into Jane's ward as she looked around wondering what in God's name she was doing there.
"How do you know my name? Why am I here?"
"I was speaking to Mr Armstrong, before he left."
"Oh, I can't say I blame him... "
"He left this on your night stand, with all the doctors bustling in and out of here I thought it might get lost, so I kept it in a safe place for you."
"Thank you," Jane said quietly as she took the note which was in the nurse's outstretched hand. "So what am I doing here?"
"Don't you remember?"
"Not really... " she shifted in her bed and clutched her side in pain. "Ok, now I might remember... "
"Well... it was your sister... she did it. And the guys came out ok. She's awaiting trial. They're on tour now. Billie Joe didn't want to go, Mike and Tré didn't either, but let me tell you this. He left your side only to go to the bathroom, which is just over there," she gestured to a small room attached to the ward, "oh and when he went to get you a small gift." The nurse walked over to the stereo and removed the CD, placing it carefully in its case before handing it to Jane.
Jane smiled as she turned the CD case over to look at the track list. "That's one hell of a guy you've got there Jay," the nurse said.
"I don't have him... "
"You have his heart."
"No, believe me, I don't, he... what's your name nurse?" she asked trying to avoid the subject. The nurse smiled and didn't push her any further.
"Gloria, Gloria Nimboku."
"Thank you Gloria."
"Would you like me to put the CD on for you? There's one track that he played over and over. I don't know if it means anything... " Jane nodded, curious as to which song he'd picked. When the song started up her hands thumped down into her lap. Gloria smiled, "I suggest you read that note, before the Doctor comes in, he should be here in a few minutes." She left the ward and Jane unfolded the note. She smiled at the scrawly black hand writing, with a fair few grammatical errors which made her smile grow. Imperfection was one of the most beautiful things on the earth in her eyes. Nobody's perfect, and things like this proved it every damn day.
Dear Jay,
I'm sorry I had to leave, tour started. I have no idea what to say. If you're reading this I may have already been and gone for the second time, but not likely if this is the only note. You'd think three weeks in a hospital ward would be boring, Jason came, he left you those flowers on the window sill
Jane looked over to the window sill and saw some daffodils sitting in a glass vase. Jason was so sweet. She returned to the letter.
Anyway, stop thinking about how sweet Jason is and read very carefully. I will be back to see you on the 23rd. We have a show on the 22nd at the Irving Plaza. So you know, make sure to be awake by the 23rd.
Look, I gotta go, I'm sorry,
Love BJ.
Jane played absentmindedly with her necklace. She had re-read the note four times by the time the Doctor came by. "Ah, I see you're awake. Good news, if everything's ok then you should be out tomorrow!"
"Wait, what's the date?"
"The 21st, of July. Now does it hurt anywhere?"
"Yeah, 'cause I kinda got shot in the stomach. You would expect to be a little sore after that." The Doctor smiled, clearly fond of sarcasm.
"Well if that's the only place you hurt then you should be able to leave tomorrow. We just have to keep you in over night, make sure you're ok, you know the sort of thing." Jane nodded. "Don't worry; I'm sure Gloria will tell him that you're home."
"How did you... "
"My dear he was in here every day and every night for three weeks always asking how long it'd be before you woke up. We all know his face around here... he practically lived here for three weeks." He smiled and walked out of the room.
"Three weeks?" Jane said to herself in surprise, "Three weeks... "
