dreaming.of.green.day

I live in the small town of Brawley, California, about 200 miles east of San Diego. Small town, population 20,000 or so. Boring, and dumb, I hang out with my friends but usually stay home because I have a mother who bothers me about my where abouts (I have recently found out that she expects me to be first to marry, and no less to a white man, which I have no objections to, seeing that marriage will be my way out of this town.). My nickname is patsy (but i do not like it because it sounds like a prositute's name, this is a direct quote from my father. He said this when my mother wanted to name me that. I shall forever be thankful to my father for not letting her do that.)

I am American born and my father and mother are Mexicans, straight from Mexico. People get surprised when I speak Spanish since A- I speak English so well ('gringa' meaning Mexican girl who speaks mostly English and doesn't like speaking Spanish.) and B- because they think I have pale skin (which if you look at my sister, she is the most pale of the family but speaks much more Spanish than me and my old brother combined.) My parents are separated, and date other people (They will not get a divorce because we are low middle-class and if they do, my mother will lose the benefits of my father's death.)

I have three siblings, 19 year old Alan, geek and smart one in the family. He goes to ucla and comes home during breaks and summer. He teaches me about politics and other things that i like. 17 year old sister Astrid. She's skinny and loves fashion. She tells me how to do my makeup and that girly stuff. 10 month old brother Derek, who is my half brother. no description for him because well, he doesn't have a personality yet.

For me, i get good grades about 3.5. I love being myself which is usually crazy and i love to just talk to people. I'm trying to get a boyfriend right now but when i like a guy, i'm too chicken shit to ask him out. I want to become a filmmaker, write and direct movies. Kevin Smith is my favorite director and my favorite movie is Clerks. If i had one thing i could do was grow up and go to college so i can get out of my judgmental parents minds, do something that i love, and be with someone that i love. Oh, i have to say, i am bi and my mother knows which i think she probably doesn't want to know.