I'm not obsessed with food.
I am overweight. I am fifteen years old, 25 pounds over weight and crying as I type these words past midnight.
I am beautiful. I have big brown eyes framed by long eyelashes and shapely lips. My skin is the perfect shade of brown. My hair is long and shiny. I have happy chubby cheeks.
But I am growing a double chin. I scrutinize it every morning after I brush my teeth, turning this way and that way trying to see if its gotten any bigger. After I take a shower, I look at my stomach, sucking it in, relaxing it, etc. I look at my thighs and calfs which have also gotten fatter. And I feel like nothing I do is helping.
I am trying to excercise. My goal is to lose one pound every week for the next 30 weeks. And maintain that weight. I do crunches and jumprope. I don't know if it helps. I'm scared.
Whenever I go out in public, I'm afraid that people are staring at my chin or that my stomach is extending out of my shirt or something. Its...I don't even know what it is. I went into a store today and left after ten minutes because they didn't even stock anything my size. Everything was two sizes two small for me.
I don't want to go on a diet. I want to eat three square meals a day. I want to stop eating chocolate. I want to give up soda. I never want to see another jar of chocolate spread until I shed my weight. I want my body to be beautiful.
I have a friend who is overwieght as well. She says she doesn't want to be skinny. She says she just wants to lose one size. I want to be thin. I don't want my huge butt and protruding stomach. I want a nice, curvy body with a flat stomach and normal sized rear end.
But I have trouble with food. I can't give up snacks so easily. I drank a soda and then cried. I did find a method that works though. Whenever I want to snack for the hell of it and I'm not actually hungry, I look in the mirror. It helps.
Sometimes I don't want to excercise. I know it sounds silly, but when I put on Insomniac, it helps me get moving. Literally. I don't want to wear the largest size in the store and I don't want my mom to say "Stop leaning on me, you're too heavy." I don't want my classmates to laugh at me or for people to think I'm 25 because I look that fat. I want to look 15.
And its hard. I love to cook and bake. I haven't been able to bake a cake for months now because looking at a recipe makes me sick. Everyone thinks I'm this food junkie or something. I'm not. I'm just an overweight person trying to overcome that problem.
I don't want to die early and I don't want to die fat.
I am beautiful. I have big brown eyes framed by long eyelashes and shapely lips. My skin is the perfect shade of brown. My hair is long and shiny. I have happy chubby cheeks.
But I am growing a double chin. I scrutinize it every morning after I brush my teeth, turning this way and that way trying to see if its gotten any bigger. After I take a shower, I look at my stomach, sucking it in, relaxing it, etc. I look at my thighs and calfs which have also gotten fatter. And I feel like nothing I do is helping.
I am trying to excercise. My goal is to lose one pound every week for the next 30 weeks. And maintain that weight. I do crunches and jumprope. I don't know if it helps. I'm scared.
Whenever I go out in public, I'm afraid that people are staring at my chin or that my stomach is extending out of my shirt or something. Its...I don't even know what it is. I went into a store today and left after ten minutes because they didn't even stock anything my size. Everything was two sizes two small for me.
I don't want to go on a diet. I want to eat three square meals a day. I want to stop eating chocolate. I want to give up soda. I never want to see another jar of chocolate spread until I shed my weight. I want my body to be beautiful.
I have a friend who is overwieght as well. She says she doesn't want to be skinny. She says she just wants to lose one size. I want to be thin. I don't want my huge butt and protruding stomach. I want a nice, curvy body with a flat stomach and normal sized rear end.
But I have trouble with food. I can't give up snacks so easily. I drank a soda and then cried. I did find a method that works though. Whenever I want to snack for the hell of it and I'm not actually hungry, I look in the mirror. It helps.
Sometimes I don't want to excercise. I know it sounds silly, but when I put on Insomniac, it helps me get moving. Literally. I don't want to wear the largest size in the store and I don't want my mom to say "Stop leaning on me, you're too heavy." I don't want my classmates to laugh at me or for people to think I'm 25 because I look that fat. I want to look 15.
And its hard. I love to cook and bake. I haven't been able to bake a cake for months now because looking at a recipe makes me sick. Everyone thinks I'm this food junkie or something. I'm not. I'm just an overweight person trying to overcome that problem.
I don't want to die early and I don't want to die fat.
Comments
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I'm like Love. I'm really underweight. I hate it. Sometimes I feel that if I turn to the side, nobody can see me. Not only that, I don't have many curves. But enough about me, this is about you.
Although I disagree with having to watch your weight at a young age, sometimes it is necessary. However I don't think it should be for you. The truth is that dieting will help as well as excercise. People have been telling you that dieting doesn't work and you should 'watch what you eat', well that it dieting. Dieting isn't an amount of food, it's what kind of food. I know it's not the amount of food, because I sure if you ate as much as I ate, like everyone else, you'd throw up because you're stomach couldn't handle that amount.
I'm afraid you will be having to give up your sweet tooth for junk food. Fruits are an excellent alternative though, when you get your sugar cravings. Fruit season is coming around in Asia. One of my favourites to indulge my sweet tooth is grapes. I don't know if you're a big a fan as I am, but I looooove grapes and instead of chocolate or sweets, sometimes grapes do it for me.
Also, I don't know if you eat a lot of carbohydrates like other Asian families, but subsituting bread and rice for yogurt, of nuts, or vegetables, or alternate foods for a meal like breakfast can help. Also, drink milk, it'll help you grow. ;)
I still think you really shouldn't care though, coming from a friend. This is a phase every teenage girl goes though. These are also part of the effects of going through puberty, sometimes weight gain is a part of it. All in all, this is just another part of life, and hey, life goes on. Being fat, or chubby, or big boned shouldn't restrict you from anything...except maybe becoming a contortionist.
Anyway, I've always fancied Indian women as some of the most beautiful people in the world.
Anji, April 28th, 2007 at 12:03:58pm
I can't eat fish. I'm a vegetarian. But I love apples. I eat lots of them. And carrots.
I like healthy snacks! Sadly, I love unhealthy snacks just as much. I already lost 2 pounds! =)
lyrical_mess, April 27th, 2007 at 01:08:21pm
you have the right idea about eating 3 healthy meals a day. try snacking on fruit. go with your mum to do the food shopping and pick out all kinds of fruits, loads of it! tell her that you want to eat healthily and ask that when she does your dinner could it be healthy. like fish with vegetables. celery is really good!! it may taste disgusting but it actually takes off the calories...not joking (shame i don't like it) our science teacher even told us coz i thought it was a lie.
nimrod.reject, April 27th, 2007 at 12:57:56pm
oh i have just the opposite problem, in a few days it will be enough hot to wear t.shirts and i´m afraid that i look so thin that people will call me anorexic, so i need to gain weight in 5 days :S
If you want to lose weight i think that you should try not to eat a lot of fast food and do exercise, at first is difficult, but then you see the results and are better than a pizza!
elena1990billiejoe, April 27th, 2007 at 10:22:34am
aww, *hugs* it's great that you think you're beatiful.
I am pretty skinny but I have a doubble chin sometimes! It's so weird :S
It's good that you're trying to balance diet as well as excersize as well. My sister and next door neighbour lost a lot of weight through jump rope, you use a lot of your muscles to do it.
When I'm fasting for easter its really hard, but I do it by replacing foods, I dunno if it works for you but it's worth a try. Instead of eating chocolate, I take my mind off it and eat some celery instead. Also water is the key to everything! In a few weeks you'll have awesome skin as well! (if you don't already)
adrea, April 27th, 2007 at 04:45:46am
I have a double chin sometimes
:]
And I'm trying to lose a few pounds
The main thing is
I think that you are beautiful
Whether you're chubby or stick thin, you'll always be Sruti
You'll always be my friend <33
You'll always be in my heart, Sruti
<3
I know it's hard to diet
Hell, I have no willpower sometimes
But maybe do it for something or somebody?
idk
Don't starve yourself
Just take care of what you eat
Even though it's hard to cut down on junk food
And do some excersise for half an hour a day or something
<3
Mike Dirnt., April 27th, 2007 at 03:16:32am
*Agrees with Sidmas, below*
Yes. Don't starve yourself. A diet isn't not eating food, a diet is eating healthier foods. And exercise regularly.
I heard somewhere that people our age are meant to do at least an hour of exercise a week. Maybe each day walk around the block once?
vonny, April 27th, 2007 at 02:09:14am
If you feel you should lose qweight, make sure you do it the right way.
Healthy diet and exercise etc.
Not starving yourself.
Being uber skinny has it's downs, too.
I'm very thin and I get rumors like 'I'm anorexic'.
Just be healthy and good luck.
=]
germma margaret!, April 27th, 2007 at 02:00:39am
It's definitely not easy, you're right.
Im trying to lose weight myself because I constantly snack on whaetver I can get my hands on when I don't need it.
Try it one step at a time. You don't need to give it up completely all at once. Start taking a few things out at the beginning, and soon enough you'll find yourself eating three meals a day without even stopping and thinking ".. should I drink that soda?"
:] You can do it.
Hello, My Name Is Asshole, April 26th, 2007 at 10:41:20pm
*hugs* I know how you feel except now that I'm older I can hide things more because I'm taller, but when I was little I was the 'fat' kid and what bugs me is I'm active I don't eat really anything I don't drink sodas water is my the best liquid ever and I still think I need to lose...it's a constant battle within me...and I think it will always be. Maybe we can set up something so we can keep eachother motivated and that crap =]
xoxoxo
marissa
p.s.
I'm here if you need me <3
hollywood tragedy., April 26th, 2007 at 08:55:18pm
I haven't drank soda in 3 weeks.
It's not that hard.
Just try drinking Crystal Light products or water.
And watch what you eat. Diets never work. And exercise.
But you have to believe you can do it,or you won't be able to.
ohmygodshutyourbutt, April 26th, 2007 at 07:46:24pm
but I'm also older than you.
I was alot smaller when I was your age.
Love, April 26th, 2007 at 04:37:01pm
gaah! You're taller than me! The tiny people are taller than me!
HGH is human growth hormone.
lyrical_mess, April 26th, 2007 at 04:36:10pm
What's HGH?
And I'm 5'3. It's still ok. Not tooo small. Healthy ;) But ya, still pretty small.
Love, April 26th, 2007 at 03:36:44pm
Maybe you're a dwarf. Like people who don't have enough HGH.
lyrical_mess, April 26th, 2007 at 03:35:05pm